The Trade
by im.graff
Summary: "Convert me!" What happens when Hidan receives an unexpected request? The trade of the mercenary illustrated through different Akatsuki members, predominantly Hidan. Deidara will be a girl. /RATED: MA, later chapters particularly daunting! gore, sex, torture, abuse, violence/
1. Hidan and Kakuzu

Pipes and asphalt: expensive stuff – some trained eyes might notice. Pipes were made out of an alloy to prevent rusting. Most notably, however, some of these pipes that transported fresh water were coated on the inside with silver as to purify it before people would drink it or use it for cooking. This mere concept of engineering was backed up by a rather big factory where about 100 employees would supervise the heating of the alloy, its pouring into molds, and ultimately its proper installation around the town. Asphalt and concrete were rather peculiar too. Though never exposed to heavy traffic of any sorts, the streets were enduring hydro-bombardment of massive scale on a daily basis. Hence, every year a couple dozen men would mix the rare materials into a cauldron and prepare the mixture to be poured on scraped, cleaned, then treated ground, then pressed, marked, and dried only to be wetted once more and erode a few years later into nothingness.

"Expensive", the miser thought. Indeed, the cost for maintaining such a city was rather high. The workers were paid well and –upon calculating for a while in his head – he concluded that about 50 percent of the cost of these projects was their worker's pay. They had a steady job, with minimal risks, that proved to be much needed. Nothing to complain about, thank you very much indeed. The miser did not see the good deal. No profit for one party, while the other wasted away with no riches and had to return every night to a chubby wife. He rejoiced, suddenly happy with his way of life.

"Ch–" When he saw how those workers poured the steaming asphalt on the ground, Hidan thought about how time-consuming, exhausting, and menial that job was. The cost of freedom, he would phrase in his head, was this pathetic existence itself.

"Fuckers", he mumbled. He must really not like the rain.

Amegakure was the city of ingenuity, a masterpiece of engineering, raging high into the clouds, whilst haunting the ground below with its grays. At night, the incandescent light penetrated every corner of the city and turned it into an obscure theater. But during the day, the place looked so conspicuously dead, it almost seemed serene. Amegakure was the size of a small village. It had precisely 49 streets and many alleys that people had named differently over the years –usually to fit the life of the person who was last murdered there. They were really just the space between two skyscrapers.

"Fucking alley had its street cred blown, whaa!" Hidan smirked now squeezing between two giants to reach a wider street. He automatically followed his partner around, he never thought about it.

"Wait here", said partner uttered.

Here? In the middle of the street? He sighed inwardly and seated himself with a thud on a stone cube that ought to resemble a minimalistic bench.

"Kakuzu! Why the fuck do we have to stop here? Fucking hell, it isn't even-"

"Shut up! It'll take a few minutes."

"Ch!"

The way Kakuzu functioned defied all logic. Mentally, Hidan was sure that he was gone for good. The man seemed to only care about money. Also, he was to this day puzzled about his bodily constitution. Sure, the man had five hearts that were connected to each other and the blood stream through string. Which means the string was hollow to allow blood flow? However when you cut the string, blood wouldn't flow? And how are his organs hanging on, squeezed in there? Most importantly, did Kakuzu's junk too consist of such weird string?

Hidan frowned and looked at a massive puddle on the ground.

"Fucking madman!" As he muttered to himself he thought about the perversities Kakuzu could engage in at this moment behind the door he had disappeared through.

"Five minutes already, fucking piece of shit!"

He could be sniffing another lowlife's asshole for information. Or he could be exchanging old bills for new ones, as per protocol. Or maybe this time he got to trade in his piggybank for the few cents he's been hungrily looking for in his pocket. Or maybe he is buying a few supplies. Or maybe he's engaging in social pleasantries with a lady.

Snickers purred away from Hidan at that last thought. Then suddenly he pursed his lips and looked at the sky. To a bystander he looked flawless. A tall, muscled man, sitting with his legs bent lazily in front of him with one knee hanging to the side, his arms supporting him confidently while his torso slouched a bit and let his upper body bend in a nice curve. Seamlessly, his neck would continue the curve, arching ever so slightly upwards.

Hidan was by any standard a handsome man. His eyes were not very round, but elongated which made it seem like he had a predatory gaze. Obviously, their colour stood out. It was a beautifully pastellated orchid colour that matched the creamy, ivory tone of his skin and the whiteness of his hair. His complexion, although very pale, never seemed cold, there was a certain warmth and smoothness to his face that contrasted with his sculpted cheekbones and his straight, defined nose. The architecture of his face and his white hair made him look very mature, the colours nonetheless gave him a very fresh, young look. And his hair, the way it was all slicked back and not too long, made him look like a prick.

The general public agreed: Hidan was an attraction. Even the obscenities that erupted from his mouth were quite acceptable. They reflected not anger, but confidence, and gave him a comical allure. Hidan often spoke about being angry, but in reality he rarely experienced it. You see, most things just irritated Hidan, like the rain or the workers or the colour of that girl's hair.

"Fucking readheads …"

To be angry you have to care enough about something to become defensive about it. Hence, Hidan got angry only when people insulted him or his religion. This usually never happened. He was attractive and reserved; you wouldn't see him start talking to someone in a store or on the street. He was, however, always, undoubtedly, and irrefutably looking for trouble. Then, the insults were imminent.

"Let's go!" Kakuzu emerged from the basement and stood now next to Hidan. He was tall and cloaked, the only part of his body that was visible were his eyes, his knuckles and his feet. He looked daunting, dark. His skin was dark and his eyes were dark, so green and red, round and almond-shaped. This man appeared unnaturally dangerous for a human being. His voice was so low that it didn't fit well with the surroundings. His tone also let one think, he always spoke with a pout. And right now Hidan was in the mood for a bewildered screech, the sizzle of street food being fried, or the high-pitched laughter of a woman. He decided then: Kakuzu had no sense for aesthetics. It was time to fix the whole situation.

"Took you long enough, fucker! I thought you'd come quicker!"

"I had to drop a load off", Kakuzu retorted with huffed sounds.

"Was it heavy?" Smirking was going on beneath a mask of composed calmness that threatened to break any moment now.

"Very", the monotonous answer came.

"At your age too, wow, congr–" Before he could finish, Hidan got smacked in his face, falling backwards, his back now bent completely over the stone cube. The mask shattered.

"Let's go", Kakuzu repeated calmly, "He's calling us."

* * *

Hello everyone! I am fairly new to fanfiction writing, so bear with me! I'd be happy to receive any review as to help me improve my story and also help deliver good content. I am quite sure I will deviate from the events in the anime, but I don't know to which degree yet. We'll see :3 Thanks for reading and much love.

GRaff.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my words and my ideas.


	2. Money

With age cometh experience, and with experience, tiredness, then sickness, then death – or so Kakuzu had imagined his old age to be when he was younger. He blamed the shift in perspective not on destiny or social order, not on the good or the bad in people, but on unfortunate encounters. He liked to believe that he was realistic enough to understand that humans crossed each other's paths as either friends or foes and they were not able to influence it. When it came to it, Kakuzu thought, everyone was a pawn in a game of power and politics. The only player with a true face and a concrete value was, had been, and would always be money.

He was quiet as he strolled next to Hidan who was still muttering obscenities about the smack across the face from earlier. As much as he had loved hurting him, Kakuzu was forced to admit that his plan backfired on him. He knew very well not to provoke his partner, yet he did it anyway. Sometimes he thought about why he had the lingering feeling that they were competing against each other. He had hoped old age would have brought less silly aggravations, but being stuck in the body of an adult male did get the better of him at times. Kakuzu would never admit of his being impatient. No way that was a possibility, he would count to millions and order pennies in neat piles, wait without moving for hours –no! He was a patient man. He cracked his knuckles against the palm of his hand trying to release some tension while walking.

"Old fucker! You listenin'?" Hidan was, by this point, utterly bored and in desperate need of entertainment.

Kakuzu just kept going, never turning to look back, just a few degrees, to see the desolated frown that sketched Hidan's face. It was still raining, however just slightly, the orange sun setting shining through the clouds and refracting in hues of pink and beige. They were heading towards a bulky looking building, very tall, overseeing the whole city. It was situated almost in the middle of Amegakure. And it was tricky to get there. Aside the main road that crossed the town in a curb through the eastern part, the streets were more or less zig-zagging their way horizontally to this road. Initially, it had been a huge problem getting from one street to the other, that's why the early citizens of Amegakure decided to donate some of their land to the city, hence the alleys were inaugurated, though at that time those people never thought they would separate thirty-forty-story-high buildings.

As this building came in sight, Hidan looked up to grasp its height. He estimated it had roughly 40 floors. Pipes were hugging the building, bending here and there, leading up to the top, disappearing behind a weird statue symbolising –as far as Hidan was concerned– just poor taste, and turning into weird antennae on the top, sparkling lazily in green and red colours.

"We're here", Kakuzu voiced, slowing down his pace as if to prepare himself mentally for what was to come.

"Oh, fucking joy!" Hidan added and for once his partner agreed with him. He then followed: "So, we drop the cash off, then what? We fucking deserve a break."

"Don't get your hopes up", came the honest reply. Just as he was about to continue, Hidan interrupted him on a rather violent tone: "Oy, Kakuzu, don't bring those contracts up! I don't care what unfinished issue you might have with some of your or Sasori's whores, but bitches can pay later! Don't fuck me over this time."

"Hidan", the taller man stopped and turned to face the world's grumpiest grunt, "I think it's naptime for you soon?"

"Asshole! I am not a fucking infant!"

"You are to me and the rest of the world-"

"Suck a dick, you tranny!"

"Are you mistaking me for your mother again, Hidan?"

Punch.

Slap.

T.K.O.

Hidan awoke neatly seated in a chair. Before him, a gridded curtain was being rolled up to reveal a whole glass wall. The sight was rather impressive.

"I believe you have checked the money for its authenticity?" A voice echoed. It resonated just enough to amplify Hidan's headache. He rose to his feet and stretched for a while. He had never been to Pain's humble abode.

The man in question was sitting at a big desk facing Kakuzu. Hidan made his way to them walking with confident steps, letting his shoulders sway slightly. He just realised he had been stripped of his usual attire and wore just a cloak made out of rough cotton.

"I have, also these are all new bills, I have dropped the others off to be checked for any markings", Kakuzu's reply was very mathematical even for him.

"Have we received any news on that payment?" Pein questioned Kakuzu while he was going over some papers. Hidan came to a halt next to his partner and looked at the chaos on the desk. Charts, name-lists, folders, invoices, contracts of some sort, photos of few men, and lots of money, some scrolls too, all organised in a certain fashion. Hidan had no talent for such things, but he wasn't an idiot. He disliked what he saw, it was –truly– too bureaucratic for his taste. Where was the excitement of being on the run and killing whenever, whomever? Where was the gravitas of each situation? Where? For the first time today, Hidan felt really shallow.

"Quite, ahm", he inhaled and mimicked wiping his nose with a finger, "Quite the fancy office we have here, boss! I just had an amazing idea for an ad campaign for saving the children." He leaned against the desk, slightly facing both men, closed his eyes and emphasised: "Konan naked!"

Pein was tempted to punch a rod through Hidan's head, but he refused to engage.

"For someone who just joined our organisation, you are fairly confident to criticise everything we're doing", the leader replied with a strain in his tone that hinted he was not far from proving true to his name.

"Fucking cut me some slack", Hidan turned his back towards him and stuck his hands in his pockets.

It had come to his attention time and time again that he hated this man. This man with glassy eyes, that reflected nothing but surroundings, that contemplated strategies, money. At first, he had hoped the similar colour of their eyes meant something. What if he was his alter-ego or soul mate? What an exquisite piece of flesh to sacrifice for Jashin he'd make. Truthfully, though, he had only seen the man in person once, when he had recruited him in this organisation. Why was he in this organisation?

"Hidan, we have a new mission", Kakuzu handed him a scroll which he immediately opened and started reading. He went over the words, never actually putting them into sentences. He wanted to hear what the two were speaking about.

"As to your previous question", Kakuzu's tone grew more severe, "The bills were punctured through the middle." From underneath his backless shirt, Kakuzu took out an envelope and pulled out a bill which he then handed to Pain. This one lifted it towards the light and focused his eyes on finding that little hole.

In the meantime, Kakuzu explained unhindered: "I personally tracked this money back to see where it came from." -Pain eyed him cautiously- "The money was originally printed –as one might expect – in the House of Coins in the Land of Earth. Then it was bundled up, punctured, and placed in a suitcase. Apparently, the sum was precisely 45 million Ryo and it was traded for 45,3 million Ryo to a party of three men who bore no distinctive features."

Kakuzu stopped for a while, trying to figure out the best way to phrase what he knew where disappointing results: "I picked up the trace of this money in a first exchange point in the Land of Fire. It was dated from the time Kisame turned in a with the reward for a job from Onoki to replace some bills that were too old, about three million Ryo. 54 days later, when I came to check the place everything was gone and I wasn't able to track any of my informants down."

"How did you piece this much together then?" Hidan smirked noticing Pain was getting impatient.

"Kisame helped", he replied shortly, "There is more though." –He closed his eyes and leaned back- "What happened to that exchange point, I don't know. However, they were not shut down immediately after Kisame appeared with the money."

"What do you mean?" Pain's eyes grew a bit wider.

Kakuzu met his gaze and let a coin he was holding roll from him towards the leader. "Circulation. Money never stays in one place, it's being exchanged, again and again. In our line of work we have the bad luck of doing business with others of our kind."

Playing with the coin, Pain tried to understand just what Kakuzu was getting at. He failed. "Your point being?"

"Every goddamn informer has been compromised. All transactions that were made with even one of those bills is a hint towards what we are buying, when and where we are buying, where we store, where we meet. Even one of those bills can leave a trail."

"I told you that killing for money is bad", Hidan retorted with a smirk only to find himself being punched by the leader and sent flying across the room.

"What do we do, Kakuzu?" There was actually concern lacing the voice of his leader, which made Kakuzu proud of himself. He liked to know he had –at least in this area of business – the fittest mind and thus the upper hand. He wasn't shabby, no sir.

"I did exactly what they did", he explained actually smiling underneath his mask. He had propped one elbow on the backrest of his chair and held his head high while looking confidently into Pain's eyes. "I sent an agent to the House of Coins and had him make the same bills covering the sum of 150 million. He offered a higher commission too and afterwards he had the House of Coins exchange the bills prepared for legal use within the land of Fire, Wind and Lightning with these ones."

"This doesn't cancel out the threat that we-"

"Furthermore", Kakuzu dared to interrupt which oddly enough actually calmed Pain, "Hidan and I have been hunting down some men we believe might have something to do with this. First of all, we killed our agent that handled this project; he would have been too easy to track down. Then I had Sasori and Deidara check with our trusted informers up north for leaks and sealed off any loose ends. Hidan and I cleared the southern countries. In the end we were able to find twenty people who had been questioned by this anonymous empl-"

"Do explain how I can find it within me to be satisfied with this answer", Pain pronounced everything so poisonously slow and sweetly, it made Kakuzu progressively more angry.

"If you had let me finish, I might have added that these twenty spared informers all have inconspicuous jobs, all of them in the transportation branch. When I questioned them they replied with standard answers. They claimed not to know exactly what they were transporting. However, they did know from where to where the transports where made. Zetsu replaced all these twenty people to further mislead the trackers. We killed them afterwards."

Pain sighed, not yet fully relieved. "We need to be careful. I will search for new suppliers, just to be on the safe side." He tapped his finger against his armrest then looked up at Kakuzu with a pout. "Who do you think is behind all this?"

* * *

Hello! Here is chapter two. I will annoyingly encourage anyone reading to leave a review, it would mean a lot to me. Much love, GRaff :3

Disclaimer: I do not own any Naruto characters or settings.


	3. Sasori and Deidara

"I have two civilians coming through: the daughter of Mr. Murakami, and an herb merchant, a Mr. Hoshiro."

At a narrow table in a tiny hut, a kiosk really and nothing more, two men were going over the papers Deidara and Sasori had handed them and taking notes in a register – two IDs promoting them as eligible citizens of the Land of Lighting, a permit that had Sasori appear to be a merchant, and a contract that claimed he was doing business with the apothecary, Mr. Murakami.

It didn't take long until they were allowed to enter the hidden village of Kumogakure. Sasori was pulling a chart that was quite big. Deidara had to notice how young and frail he looked, especially in the clothing he wore. He had perfectly straight black trousers on which were tucked into knee-high leather boots. The hoodie he wore resembled the fashion of Kumogakure, a pale, sleeveless vest, with a high neckband and a spacious hood, which he had pulled over his head. Underneath this west he had a long-sleeved black shirt and also fitted black leather gloves. Deidara hat pointed out to him earlier that he looked totally prepared to reap thorny and poisonous plants. She loved the way he chose to dress. It only saddened her to know that he put this attire together specifically to hide his unhuman appearance. She knew too well how dead his eyes looked, how fake the light shone on his red hair, how dimples had yet to form in his full cheeks when he spoke.

"You're staring", Sasori pointed out.

"Hm, just the ususal", Deidara replied with a sigh she hadn't been aware of. She always wondered what her partner would have looked like at his current age of 35, but in a normal man's body.

"I believe I won't scare off any children this time", he reminded her of the time he had attempted to question a child who's family they had just killed in order to decide whether or not to kill him. Poor kid was so afraid of him, he cried until he fainted. "Exept for maybe you", he added.

"Well, if I close one eye, pull my hair over the other one too, and lean back enough, I swear you almost look alive!" Deidara liked to mock him. She always had a talent for detached conversation and she liked that Sasori was playing along.

"I am forever fabulous unlike some people", he remarked.

She did not answer, basically just starting to walk faster, letting him fall behind a few dozen meters. Deidara had stopped getting angry at such remarks, but she liked to hold grudges. Plus, getting close to their destination, she used the opportunity to escape the claws of ridicule and start preparing everything in advance.

They had travelled through Kumogakure anonymously, greeting no one, and being as ordinary as possible. Deidara was now darting through some narrow streets heading up towards a little plateau between two stony hills. On the edge of the plateau, a few ambulant shops offered loose teas, spices, or common herbs for home-remedies. Where the plateau met the stone of the mountain a row of houses, about ten of them, were neatly lined up. She stopped in front of a garage door, that was topped by a glass wall and a simple roof, and skipped five stairs to her right, jumping up to enter the apothecary. There was a long line of customers and she had to squeeze in between a fat old woman and the wooden door that angrily hung one of its splinters against her dress and kept her in place. She stopped with a grunt and undid the hold-off.

"Excuse me", she voiced coyly towards a man in ninja uniform who was waiting for whatever he had just ordered and snuck underneath the front desk. She rested for a couple of seconds on the floor her back against the drawers, looking at customers through the glass of jars that were now separating them. She liked the view she got from there.

She saw the shinobi from earlier now with huge round dilated eyes that made him look like a frog, his skin tone had turned greener too. Ironically, the huge jar was an emulsion of frog skin mucus that was prepared by putting a frog in a jar of glycerine. The dead animal was now floating aimlessly upside down, its cut abdomen flapping around ever so slightly.

The jars and boxes filled with plants, ointments, earths and clays, powders and bones throned on high shelves behind her so that by slightly looking up they came in her peripheral view. She felt that the shelves might suddenly collapse on her which made her stand up quickly.

Deidara made her way through the back door and entered the garage from the inside. She turned the lights on and looked at the puppets that were hanging around from the ceiling or lying around in corners or just on the floor. She made note of many of Sasori's tools, some wooden planks, a huge table filled with papers, and petri dishes. On the left she saw the many closets where they had stored a lot of stuff for the pharmacy. The garage door was about four meters wiede, but Sasori had blocked most of that space with even more shelves. Should one enter the garage they had about one meter and something of space to squeeze anything they usually had their ingredients delivered in through.

Sasori had outdone himself with this hideout – this Deidara had to admit. It was incredibly perfect.

"Open up, he's here", a voice startled her from behind.

"I was on it, Zetsu, goddamn it, hm", she was angry at him for disturbing her peace and she had no intention of hiding it. They were giving up on the place and even though it was just a building they used maybe three or four times a year, it had taken on a certain personality that she became very fond of.

With nimble movements she lifted the garage door by a rope that hung from the ceiling in the middle of the room. She pulled it with strength once, twice–

"You enjoy keeping me waiting?" For Sasori, wasting time was a big no-no, even though the man was almost immortal and had all the time in the world on his hands.

"I swear to God, one day!" Deidara rolled her eyes and let the garage door fall loudly to the ground.

"Start packing", he ended the conversation and headed straight to his working place in the corner of the room. She saw him drop to the floor –almost gracefully– and start wiping the dust off his puppets. As silly as it was, she liked to believe that he too was upset about giving this place up.

"I was on it …"

…

By nightfall, the shop had closed and Sasori, Deidara, and Zetsu were gathered on the top floor above the garage. The traveling team hadn't changed, let alone showered. They were covered in dust and, still, they chose to lounge around for a while.

This room was Deidara's favourite place in the whole world. It had exposed brick walls which were a very light grey that framed the two neighbouring houses as well as their own and a plank floor of ashy wood. The wall behind them was the mountain itself and the wall up front was made almost entirely out of glass -minus a small portion at the bottom that hid the heater from the outside world. From the inside the heater was covered by the same wood as the floor, thusly looking like a wooden bench of sorts. Deidara enjoyed lying there with her feet stretched while shaping her clay into statuettes. It was always so warm ...

Through the glass you could see the hill across the main road and, behind it, more mountains raging high. It felt as if they were in monkey-town, the way houses erupted on those mountains next to bushes or suspended between crevices. It reminded her of home, but it was obviously better.

The only thing that was in this room was a simple wool carpet in a warm sand colour and many pillows of all shapes and sizes. Outside was dark, a few streetlights and some lit windows aside. Deidara had grabbed a few candles and placed them strategically on a plate in the middle of the carpet on which the three of them were now sitting. A dim light played shadows on their faces.

Zetsu had dropped the human cover from earlier and had transformed into his ususal self: a white half of what Deidara suspected to be a plant demon or a failed attempt at life. He was just that … a white half. A half of a head with one eye and half of a mouth, a half of a body with one arm and half of a navel. A half of a pelvis with two legs, yet no gonads – that is; that is just sad. He did however have thick cones that resembled macroscopic grass growing out from and all around his hips. Deidara liked to imagine Zetsu as the most deranged belly dancer ever. Zetsu was frowning.

"She does this all the time, do not take it personally", Sasori told the odd creature.

"It's no less rude", the other complained looking up suddenly, "What is your plan now?"

The puppeteer took out a map that showed the geography of their continent and started explaining: "We have cleared most informants that were related to the mishap we had a few weeks ago. I decided it would be best if we cleared this place as well."

Zetsu intervened almost nonchalantly: "You finally thought about how your private affairs and sentimentalities might influence the Akatsuki?"

This struck a chord somewhere deep in Sasori. He never claimed to be detached of his emotions, as a matter of fact he never claimed anything on the subject. Hence, he expected people to never make any claims on this matter as well. It was his turn to stare at Zetsu hoping to look angry.

"Hm", Deidara grunted and looked at the white man in disgust. Sasori found himself quite envious of her expressive face. He missed his flesh in moments like these.

"This place has been an exceptional hideout for us and thanks to it we were able to gather information when needed. I never heard any complaints on your part then." Sasori looked at Deidara and she looked back at him smiling with just a corner of her mouth. They were encouraging each other.

"We are not safe here anymore, but now that we have to leave I figured out we might use it to our advantage and confuse our Raikage a bit", with his plan now in mind, Sasori sounded a bit amused.

"Hm", Deidara was not expecting this, "What do you mean?"

Her partner turned to his side to grab a folder that he had prepared. He laid what appeared to be some photos and some typical complaint forms that had been filled out and clipped together over the map. Deidara reached to grab this bundle of papers and started reading it. Her face turned from concerned to analytical then her eyes widened as if she were scared. Of what exactly she was not sure, but …

"Are you demented?" She asked as her anger was riling. Someone however was amused and intrigued by the vivid display of emotions on her face. She looked almost psychotic.

"Get that smirk off your plastic face, hm" –she leafed through the pages loudly and read– "Complaint regarding the possible criminal affairs that a supplier might be engaged in." – she skipped a few lines and proceeded– " It has come to my attention that one of my suppliers, Mr. Hoshiro, might be engaged in affairs with the notorious mercenary organisation, Akatsuki. I suspect him of this after accidentally receiving a delivery that came with an invoice for none other than the missing-nin Sasori of the Red Sand" –she inhaled, blinked a few times, and read the last bit hastily– "I urge the authorities to take immediate action. Kind regards, Mr. Murakami. Explain this, hm!"

"It's brilliant", Sasori complimented himself.

Zetsu was biting his inexistent lip. "Oh, how exactly?"

"This piece of information will put them on the wrong trails. After the unexpected deaths of Mr. Murakami and his daughter will occur, the Lightning will start tracking this Mr. Hoshiro down. If you would do that now, you will follow empty leads back to Iwagakure, where Mr. Hoshiro first made a transaction."

"The old secretary", Deidara suddenly remembered, "You set everything up. Why?"

"I have a gut feeling about something, I just wanted to make sure", he stood up on his knees and put everything back in his folder, "Plus, I wanted to buy us some time … After we complete our mission, I'll have you file this complaint. Then Zetsu will imitate yours and your 'father's' dead bodies. We will disappear before the complaint reaches the desk of the Raikage."

"Hm …", Deidara too had a gut feeling, namely that this won't end well. They had done risky stuff before and she had enjoyed it. It was her first time, however, to place a bet on nifty papers. She was uneasy and planned on taking her sweet time with the mission they had been given. This could be dangerous.

"What are you thinking?" Sasori asked breaking the uneasy silence.

"Hm!" She answered with a smile and stood up to leave the room. This could also be quite fun.

* * *

Hello again and thank you for reading. Much love, GRaff.

Disclaimer: I own nothing 'cept for my own noggin'.


	4. Aki

He was watching her through the glass.

"The two-tails", Kakuzu mouthed slowly, trying to get his partner to focus on the matter at hand.

"Naw, really, here?" Hidan almost interjected that, however he was well aware of Kakuzu's approaching him and feared a third row of domestic abuse this week. He had made two of the strongest men he knew use maximum agility and precision to inflict minimal damage on him. He really had no clue how, but it made him so incredibly proud to have accomplished that. With the risk of being called an optimist, he chose to see the good behind the efforts of both his partner and his leader to shut him up. He knew that they had hurt him just barely not because he was indispensable or respectable on other occasions, but because he now belonged to their flock. He also knew that he had been hurt because he did not know his place yet. He had defied them.

A feral grin formed on his face at that thought. He was challenging them and they were in no position to ignore him.

Kakuzu shook his head again, something didn't sit well with him. "Sneak in, find her, get her alive, then leave". He then paused briefly. "Let's go."

"Thusly we thought, thus thusly we'll do", Hidan contemplated the task in song, sighing at the end exhausted. The wind whistled sharply through the mountain village.

…

Deidara had her way of gathering information, Sasori had his way of gathering information. The two methods varied greatly and had on multiple occasions stirred the waters of their otherwise steady relationship.

Deidara believed in the word of mouth. She had always gravitated towards people. They fascinated her and they would always give away information with their babbling, their hands, and posture. Ah, she just knew, conversation was the key.

Sasori on the other hand was against all that.

"So, I suppose you'll be looming around rooftops for a while, hm", she mused with a smile.

He didn't answer, while putting Kumogakure shinobi attire on. A standard armour for a genin-level fighter. He sat on the floor leaning against the garage entrance to the apothecary. She stood right in front of him, facing this door, while putting her ballerinas on. Sasori smirked at her unusual clothes. She seldom wore civilian clothing, yet every time she did she pulled it off perfectly. She could blend into the mass. Maybe that was one of the reasons why he never agreed with her way of gathering intel. He could never simply _be_ next to her.

She went with her hands over her hair that she had neatly put back in a ponytail, then over her simple black dress that formed a nice, deep v-line and wrapped tightly around her waist in a little string bow under her left breast, then hung loosely to her hips down to the middle of her thighs. Bare skin, then black leather ballerinas.

"Prance around easily in those?" Sasori hated those shoes.

"Quite so, I dare say!" She answered eying him with a lifted chin and sounding demeaning: "Why, hm?"

"No reason", he stood up and sighed – what was up with that, she'd never know, but she guessed it was one of the 'things' he had done a lot before 'Woodland' happened and it stayed with him despite that the lungs had gone.

They nodded in agreement to their status –they had not angered one another– and their mission –find information on the eight-tails.

Sasori left through the window on the second floor above the apothecary, Deidara, no. She entered the shop. And looked around. Zetsu was dealing with two customers at an incredible rate. He had adopted the appearance form the day before, a tall, slender black man with a broad nose and lips so thick he seemed to pout. She could swear he was trying to compensate for what he didn't have in his original form.

"Oh my!" Deidara's eyes widend, a gasped whisper escaping her, "the gonads!"

She looked at the black man again and eyed his crotch while he was performing various actions, the devilish grin never leaving her face. He'd step up and down a ladder, bend to grab some boxes, handle money, then put some jars back. Again, up the ladder.

"Young lady!"

Deidara turned around to see a very old, very thin lady looking at her with an angered expression. She was chatty: "It is wrong to eye your father like that, is it not, Mr. Murakami?"

Before Zetsu even bothered to look up she continued on a lower tone: "See, when I was your age –how old are you, 19-20?"

"Nineteen, ma'am!"

"Yes, when I was nineteen, I used to check my father out that way" –out of the sudden she spoke louder– "because it is important to know what an ideal man looks like, isn't it, Mr. Murakami?" –again, she did not wait– "But truth be spoken, there are no more men like there used to be. I remember my husband –a great shinobi– he died when I was twenty, just a few months after we got married. I never knew exactly when because he was fighting abroad. And I kept" – her eyes went wide and she murmured now – "You know? Down there, by myself, often, to compensate" –louder – "because I missed him too much to physically bear. And you?" –she sighed and looked up at Deidara– "There is no man to make you feel that way, is there, Mr. Murakami?"

Zetsu had joined them upon hearing his name a third time. "What way would that be, ma'am?"

"No~", Deidara quickly answered prolonging the vocal just enough to seem like she was thinking about what the old lady said, "but there are certainly good men out there, are there not? Like the Raikage or–"

"HA", the old lady huffed, her toothy mouth opening a lot. Deidara took a minute to take in her wrinkled face, her white hair, and her skin, oh-so-dark. "That man is no man!"

"But he is fighting for righteousness and the good of–", Deidara imitated excitement.

"Oh, my darling girl", the old lady said, now leaning with an elbow on the counter and picking some medicine she needed herself. Deidara quickly jotted the sum down in the register. "Oh, and the usual too, Mr. Murakami!" She put some money on the counter, tapped against it a few times and finally added: "You want a bit of a rebel … who doesn't?"

Zetsu went in the back and returned with two big bags: "Add 250, child!"

"That would be 310 ryou", she mouthed just for herself, then forged a receipt and looked at the old lady with a genuine smirk. The crone looked back at her with the same expression. Deidara decided.

"Father, I am helping Mrs. …"

"Aki!"

"… Mrs. Aki with her bags. I'll be right back!"

With that Deidara finally left the apothecary. She strolled casually next to Aki and enjoyed the pace of life right now. Time flowed a bit slower that day and there was no reason whatsoever to rush it.

"You seem quite promiscuous for an old gal, Mrs. Aki. Would I be wrong, hm?"

"Just Aki, dear! I am not that old", she replied with an exasperated look, "Also, don't get cocky with me!"

"Oh, come now", Deidara said sassily, "I never took you for a shy one!"

The granny laughed a warm, loud laugh. The younger woman fought hard not to join her. There was something about this laugh that she found so incredibly voluptuous and attractive that she had to bite her smirk down with her canine, yet it stubbornly still surfaced.

"I'll tell you, I'll tell you!" Aki steadied her breath and started on a mysterious tone, as if she were reconstituting the background of a crime: "When you'll get old, men won't notice you as much" – he eyed the girl wearily – "especially since you seem the type to get fat"- she held her hands up in defence as Deidara gasped- "You have big hips dear! Where was– Ah! They won't notice you anymore and you will become desperate for attention and pester your kids to give you a second row of children because only a thing that could die easier than you could need you!"

"Ey, that's harsh!"

"No-no, it's just true! Either way" –she harrumphed– "when a man, especially a younger man, actually notices you, the old juices start flowing" –Deidara was disgusted– "I swear to you, there is this man, who is so obnoxiously loud that helped me the other day. He is the brother of the Raikage, but to me that is not important …"

She contemplated on that for a while.

"Actually, he might have money then, so that is important", she spoke again, "But he hoisted me up when I had to walk up to my house, the way my husband had when we walked away from the altar and ooh!" – she grabbed Deidara's arm and stopped walking – "it was very hot!"

The girl smirked: "I didn't know Mr. B had a soft spot for older women. That was romantic, honestly!"

The lady blushed profusely and took a side street: "Nonsense! He was just kind, he was. Also, I know he just had nothing better to do, these kids, these days! No one knows courtesy no more."

No friends?

"Aa, Mrs. Aki, I find that hard to believe! Everyone knows Mr. B!"

"Katsu!" The old lady hit Deidara's calf with her crane she cringed at the unexpected contact giving the old crone a crooked eye not for the pain, but for the plagiarism. That was her line.

"What did I tell you, you little girl? Huh?" She sounded almost angry. "You want a rebel, a lone wolf, a misanthrope, a lunatic, not some neat momma's boy."

They had reached the old lady's house.

"Do you think I have a chance with him?" Deidara questioned playfully, preparing to close this conversation.

With a severe look Aki eyed her. She seemed to be thinking hard or waiting for the tension to build. "I think he's taken-"

"Whaat, no way!" Deidara knew how to play her cards. "By what bitch, hm?!"

"How would I know? It was a joke! Maybe some girl he's training with, poor kid, that's everything he does." The crone appeared to be sad. "At least, everything that is left for him to do …"

"Yes, that's true." Lies.

"Think about it, young one", pause, "to never be given a chance: It's is just awful!"

She then disappeared in her house with a thank you: "You'll be seeing me again, don't be too sad."

…

Sasori plopped next to her, taking her hand in his as they were walking down the main road. She turned to look at him and smiled broadly.

"Aa, baby, trying to blend in?"

"I overheard that conversation", he replied monotonously, "Try checking out the training grounds at the temple up north."

He pecked her on the cheek and took off. She sighed realising that they would finish the mission early.

"Too early."

…

Kakuzu had abandoned Hidan in an attempt at skimming the crème-de-la-crème of the criminal world of Kumogakure. They needed new informants and they needed them now.

Hidan did not care what his partner was doing, but he did not buy his explanation. He was absolutely sure that he had gone for a fuck. Usually, knowing that Kakuzu had a chance to release some stress relieved him. He was more talkative afterwards even if he only mumbled about how services had gotten more expensive. But now, he had to track the blasted girl down all by himself which did not sit well with him.

He eyed the map Kakuzu had given him with more attention than he normally would. The areas he had checked he marked with a hole in the map not giving a damn about how precious it was or wasn't to the miser.

"Ch, fucking bastard!"

He had a few obvious places left to check and, should he still not find her, he could consider himself screwed. Initially, they thought the two-tails was on a mission and they hogged the entrance gate for what seemed like forever until they decided to get going. They followed the main road shamelessly, not caring if someone would spot them in their uniforms. As they darted from cliff, to cliff to platform Kakuzu thought he had spotter her, sleeping. But he quickly changed his mind.

"Not her, just another blonde", he had said. He later had spotted a blonde woman with long hair again, exiting a shop, but it wasn't her, just someone opening a store.

Hidan had tried to figure out what his partner's problem was; there was no way the hair of a person could play a role in this search. The revelation hit him the second day when he looked at the people from above, a mass of black clothed mice with either dark or white fluff on their heads. Blonde, the blonde they were looking for, was rather ostentatious. But it was at least a lead …

"Fuck", he growled now focusing on the mountains ahead. He leaped forward, jumping off the cliff he had been resting on, disappearing in the black swath created by his coat.

* * *

Hello everyone, thank you for reading and be warned: they finally meet next chapter °o° Much love, GRaff

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


	5. Encounters

The streets were buzzing with people. Here and there some would stop to exchange pleasantries, but most of them handled any business on the go. The people suited the village, Sasori thought. The voices were loud, echoing with a powerful vibration throughout the mountain valley and above in a slightly dephased frequency.

The hum of the people to match the hum of the mountains. It did represent their religion, truly. From where he was posted, Sasori felt like he was sitting in a chapel. The peaks, he traded in for columns, the sky, for the holy dome. He closed his eyes and listened to all the noises, how they escaped him and how they returned.

His daydreaming was however violently stopped when a kid ran into him. A kid apparently broke the cosmos.

"Sorry, sir", he rubbed his forehead intensely, "Sorry." He hung his head in remorse then made a run for it, as if fearing the response. Little did he know, Sasori would have never said anything anyway. He refused to compel people to look at him. It was ironic, wasn't it? He found his creations to be beautiful, but he himself, in this body that he made, was so repulsive. Even to his partner, who was the closest person he had been to in over five years, he still seemed out of place whatever the circumstances. He feared to ask her why.

Sasori took off in a sprint.

There was a very odd thing about Deidara. She was borderline mental, but too expressive and talented for her own good. Immediately upon her joining the organisation, Sasori had been tempted to inspect her, the way she fought, the way she talked, the way she expressed herself in every way. And he didn't have to try, because she was so open about everything. She had charmed him, so she became a standard of what the perfect model would be.

When the model is perfect, your raw material will be better than usually. Sasori had taught himself to look for people with distinctive traits to examine. He did not engage in this tango of emotion recklessly. He analysed, pondered, and waited. Right now, he assisted a conversation between no one other than his partner and a scrawny old lady.

He watched this new person carefully. She seemed to be to Deidara's liking, she was obviously a kunoichi from the way she moved and talked, and she was unique. Despite her old age – or better put: thanks to her old age, every expression became amplified by the many folds on her face. Sasori was curious.

He waited for Deidara to finish her 'conversation' then lured her to the outskirts of the village to continue their mission. Deep down, he wasn't exactly proud of himself. But he didn't feel bad about it, he hadn't lied to her.

It took him less than twenty seconds to find the crone's house again and enter it through an open window. The home had a top floor made entirely out of glass that appeared to be very dark, very blue, from the outside, reflecting the sky above so much more intensely.

The woman was cooking silently, but decided to give Sasori her undivided attention at some point, seeing that the boy had frozen in place: "Oh, my! Don't bother to greet me."

Testing the waters, Sasori threw three kunai at her. She dodged them in the last minute with a knife. She eyed him, sighing. She didn't say anything from that point on, but decided to give her best technique a shot. She fought for balance and attempted to attack Sasori with an earth spirit she had summoned. People like her were rare those days.

Aki, the summoning puppet – Sasori liked the sound of that.

He let her do her chants and preparations and saw the spirit grow and tense, preparing to attack him. It was time: he jumped back, summoned a puppet to contain the spirit, then leaped forward grasping the crone's throat. She died shortly after making eye contact with him due to sudden heart failure from the exceeding amount of adrenaline that was coursing her veins. Sasori however thought abstractly about faith, about how this woman, who was – in all ways known to him – able to summon life and energy, had to die at his artificial hands. He cringed with a clatter of wood against wood.

He laid the woman down and stripped her of her clothes. She was truly, very skinny, resembling rather a collection of bones than anything else. Her skin on her body was also wrinkled, like chiffon on thin paper. Her bones were massive, not frail at all. She had large hips and small breasts, which had lost their mass and remained a lump of folds and browns. He moved her around slightly poking here and there to check for tattoos or any suspicious markings. None were visible. He sighed. Then he opened the top pocket of his vest and pulled out a scroll. In a puff, a whole kit appeared. After rummaging around for a bit, Sasori dropped his ring, put on gloves, and grabbed the thing he was looking for. He proceeded to inject the substance into the woman's neck frowning at the thought that her heart had stopped and the blood flow, too, now lingered. Starting to pump her chest as if to revive her he could only hope this would distribute the substance evenly. What a shame it would be if she were lost.

In a few minutes, Sasori smiled with big, immobile eyes. On the skin of the old crone various shapes appeared in an odd green colour. He traced them and couldn't figure out what they represented. Taking out his sketchbook, he drew all these markings down to the smallest detail. He then packed it away and stood up.

With a scalpel he began his work. He cut around her arms, her legs, across her face disgusted to see how easily the collagen bindings under her skin snapped as he pulled the epidermis away from the muscle. Her veins marred her insides like fat worms struggling after having their disposable appendage cut. Inertia must have kept the blood flowing. He examined her teeth and her hands – she took very good care of herself. Her teeth were white and healthy and there was not one single cuticle tracing her nails. He took out a forceps and cut her sternum in two. Back to his handy little tool he cut her stomach and intestines. They were filled with what seemed to be mushrooms and other herbs, possibly hallucinogenic ones. He took a sample of the ingested substances in different phases of digestion. Her liver was quite swollen and hard, probably suffering from cirrhosis. Her lungs were shrivelled and black: a heavy smoker. He knew those rituals required smoke, but he was astonished at the dedication of this lady. He removed her heart and checked it carefully. It was a normal heart.

Sasori wondered whether or not he should split her skull open to look at her brain, but decided ultimately not to. Opening the puppet he had summoned, he looked for any remains of the spirit. Sadly, it was gone, like the one who had summoned it. No traces of it left behind for him. He looked around her house for amulets, scrolls or other bits of data to help him access the secrets of this woman's jutsu.

"So, are you done?" A frail voice interrupted him.

"Do as you please, you have deserved it …"

"I had my eyes on her for months – knew that what she was buying was suspicious."

"Indeed."

With a final sigh, Sasori engaged deeper in his book. Night had fallen upon the world once more as deep red splayed across the reflected sky in bits of flesh and blood.

…

Hidan had reached the last place he had to check and posted himself in a squat on the branch of a tree overlooking the high grounds of the temple and the luscious waterfalls around it. A few shinobi came and went perhaps to pray, perhaps to just take a break, and he followed their movements.

About twelve of them were visible. Hidan took out the photo of their target. She seemed young, about 20 or so, with blond hair that was tied at the top of her head in a ponytail.

"Fucking blondes", he mumbled obviously displeased at the whole situation. He looked at the temple again and then back at the photo. Kakuzu had mentioned it was not a recent one. She was older now. Hidan smirked and followed the curve of the girl's body. She had nice legs and that was a trait on a woman he could really appreciate.

He became lazy and decided to sit and maybe even fall asleep. By this point, he was done with trying to find this girl. In his hand he still held her picture. She wasn't ugly, but not really pretty either. Her features were perfectly proportional, minus her mouth, it was way too small and thin. Maybe it was just the photo though; she did seem to make a face.

As he closed his eyes, he gave his chakra-focusing ability a try. He tried to detect was resonated with him, now. He wasn't sure if he thought about Kakuzu or if he was right there next to him, but he smirked at the thought of being scolded for wasting time.

He gave up and examined the temple again. What was so special about this box of a contraption? Just the design? He did not understand this religion. A thirteenth person was now at the top of the temple, running around the squared structure, as if looking for someone. She was the only person out here in civilian clothing. And she had it, she did.

"Gotcha, blondie", Hidan mused.

Now to forge a plan. He counted again, twelve other ninjas in his field of vision, at least seven others nearby, and her. A full-on attack was too dangerous, he had to play carefully, which was boring. But at this point the girl was bending over a pillar revealing the start of her ass and Hidan felt like sacrificing her on her own blasphemous temple.

He ditched his cloak and scythe on that branch. And walked normally, up the couple hundred stairs, to the top. The girl was sitting in an improper lotus position facing the temple.

Hidan sat next to her, facing the stairs while resting his elbows on his knees and entwining his fingers.

"Hello, blondie", he said suddenly squeezing his eyes more shut as the sun just came out of the clouds. He turned in her direction: "I have been looking for you!"

Deidara felt a wave of panic course through her body. Had she been detected? She looked at the conspicuous man with the corner of her eye, barely turning her head.

"And did you finally find me?" She replied sardonically.

Hidan looked at his hands. "Blondie, I am in no mood for jokes." He took a kunai out of his pants' pocket and shoved it against his own palm. He stood up and started walking around the temple squeezing his hand with each step as to let blood drip to the ground.

"I'm sorry", Deidara followed, "I wasn't aware being retarded stopped being a joke."

Hidan had by now crossed the roof of the temple three ways. Deidara noticed how he had drawn a circle around the square roof of the temple, and a triangle within the circle. She observed the man. He was now inches in front of her, forcing her to look up at him. He had pants on, a headband around his neck that turned its weight around his neck and that kunai in his hand.

He looked so calm, it gave her shivers. She imagined that that was the way a madman would look like.

"There are thirteen other people just here, in our vicinity", Deidara explained calmly, looking up at him, "If you attempt murder on a citizen of Kumogakure you won't get away."

"But you are not a citizen are you? Not really."

Deidara swallowed hard. Hidan continued: "You are" – he started walking around suddenly stopping in his tracks and unfurling his arms horizontally- "a weapon of grand, flamboyant, explosive power! Or am I mistaken?" He was now squatting in front of her.

"You want to fight, fucker?" She hissed between her teeth.

"Honestly, I hoped I could stab you mercilessly with a rod and my cock right on this fucking temple, bitch", he leaned his forehead against hers looking angrily into her eyes, "But I am willing to stop my act here and return with your sorry ass later. Jashin might just forgive me!"

"Let's walk, outside of town, now!"

Hidan laughed. "Oh, we're on your terms all of the sudden!? Nah, bitch!" He grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards the tree he had been resting on earlier grabbing his cloak and his scythe in an instant and without further delay kicking her stomach so that she hit the ground somewhere between two rocky formations with a muffled thud. He reappeared in front of her, on top of a boulder.

"Shall we begin?"

Deidara was left agape.

* * *

Hei again! I hope you are not too shocked right now, because of Sasori and Zetsu. I guess, I am fed up with the way the anime romanticises murder, so there you go. I encourage anyone to leave a review.

Many thanks and much love,

GRaff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


	6. Skipping Introductions

"Well, look who I happened to run into!" She hummed, the tone sounding like a primitive predatory growl that had lost its ferocity for comedic purposes.

"Bitch", he swung his scythe over his shoulder, resting his other hand on his hip, "This was meant to be!"

He leaped forward, beginning the attack barking and yelling as he went. He did not believe in destiny, but he believed in the will of his god. And with him as consolation he pushed aside rationality and remorse, questioning the circumstances no more, judging a person no more. He dwelled in absolute serenity in his mind, while his body released tension he never knew he was shouldering. His ideas and motivations, too, would be cast in the limbo of the past for he did not care about anything like that anymore.

A sway of blades, a jump, a kick; a punch to the face, a spin, a trick – they fought in concentrated silence aside from Hidan's maniacal shouts.

"Jashin wants you, oh yes! Bitches never put up a fight, but you …"

Truly, Hidan just enjoyed fighting. It forced the very best out of him or so he always thought. It had been a push of loyalty and recollected pride that had directed him towards accepting his religion, a religion of violence, barbaric beyond anything imaginable. Had he been more humble and understanding maybe he would have been more like Pain, dedicated to a concrete goal. But Hidan rose above all that, he could and he would rise above all that.

Kakuzu once dared to call his religion uncivilised due to its lack of care or empathy towards any living thing. Also, he found it odd that it promised no gratification for its followers. It commended them to kill, ruthlessly, but promised no compensation for this turmoil. Nonetheless, should one fail to kill, eternal damnation was imminent.

Hidan believed he was created from Jashin's sweat and that evil coiled within him. He was fed blood as an infant, in his mother's womb, so he shall feed his God blood in return to nurture him and –implicitly– the power he had bestowed upon him. A man needed a purpose and what purpose is greater that augmenting power.

"Fear and tremble at this sight, you fucking bitch!"

Deidara was looking at the man adorned now by the very same cloak she had left with her traveling gear and equipment. The cloak of Akatsuki, their uniform, a black mantle bearing red clouds forecasting a rain of blood – it looked so good on this maniac.

She smiled at him as he decided to take a break to look at her silently.

"Akatuski, huh", she pondered, "Why are you here?"

"We are here to get you, you stupid cunt!" He seemed to get angrier as he spoke: "And I need to get you alive, fucking hell, otherwise I won't hear the end of it!"

"I see …" Deidara would have loved to keep their fighting going on, but it had gotten monotonous. The man apparently only knew taijutsu and flailing that peculiar three-bladed scythe around like a blithering idiot. This was no fun, there was no technique that defined his fighting style, no real display of talent either. It was a boring show. And she knew not to use her explosive now, they had already attracted too much attention. She looked at the ring on her hand and for the first time in what seemed like forever she used its ability. One pulse of chakra resonated with her stone, then with Hidan's stone. She looked up at him.

His face had at some point contorted into a grotesque sneer, his mouth opening too much and stretching to the far ends of his face.

"Notice anything?" She tried him with this simple question, but he was too far gone.

"Yeah bitch!" He was coming at her fast.

"Oh, just for laughs", Deidara thought and she let him pin her down to the ground resting one arm dramatically above her head, panting expertly through her mouth, and plastering a defeated look upon her face. She forced a violent cough as to simulate that she was not well, and as a row of teeth in her hand bit into her flesh strongly, she let the bloody hand drop next to the other one. Then she slowly tried to lift up and hold her weight in her elbow.

A wild laughter came from Hidan and his eyes went wide as he packed her by the neck and twisted it between his thumb and his fingers ever so slightly. She felt like a fish that was being weighed and about to be sold. In the meantime she tried to contact Sasori, but as the time flew by she knew he wouldn't come. He did get stuck with his projects quite often. Hidan dropped her to the floor and she imitated a bundle of dishevelled looks and fabric flawlessly.

Her last try, Kakuzu.

"Bitch, behold what lies beyond divinity", Hidan had drawn another circumscribed triangle with his own blood and looked up at the sky, "Behold and embrace, Jashin!"

It was too good to be true, Deidara felt her abdomen tense and threaten to explode in violent laughter. By this point, she wasn't sure if she was still sarcastic about the whole thing or actually just mildly excited.

"I am beholding", she retorted almost bored.

"Your unseeing eyes, your blasphemous credo –your defiance ends here!" He seemed to be recollecting himself, squatting again in front of her. "Princess, why do you anger my God?" He took her head with both of his hands licking at the blood around her mouth, his eyes still wide. Deidara wanted to shut her eyes upon instinct; this was getting weirder by the minute. Hidan then stuck his thumbs roughly in the crease of her eyes forcing her to look at him change tones and colour. He was amazed how blue those eyes were. Something in the back of his head was trying to surface in his conscience, but he didn't allow it to bother him.

He stood up bearing distinctive markings on his skin of black and white. It seemed his contour was dark as to allow white shapes and translucent shadows to mimic bones and hollows. He should have resembled a skeleton. Deidara's eyes widened in amazement and a smirk crossed her lips.

It was an absurdly expressive theatre and she was starting to enjoy it. He smirked back at her not even questioning whether her expression was a welcomed one and took an extendable blunt rod from his cloak before shedding the uniform completely.

"It is the ultimate escape", he mouthed, his head back, the rod held high with both hands, opening his eyes more and more and staring at the sun directly, "The only real light is the one that brings blindness …"

Deidara felt a strong sting in her eyes and a jolt of light flashed her vision before going dark, dark, so dark in tandem with the excruciating pain that flooded her wholly.

"Beautiful …", she murmured as she succumbed to his darkness.

…

A complete change of tone occurred as Kakuzu felt his ring vibrate. He was playing poker as he called a last round and stripped the men around him of roughly 300,000 ryo. He exchanged the chips and left. What was happening?

Kakuzu was not a big fan of gambling, but something about poker was very different. As he had sat at that round table he liked to imagine that he intimidated everyone which he did, oh-so-effortlessly. He opened his cloak to reveal just how big his chest looked even without the extra material in its way. Then he took his headband and mask off, smirking deviously and pushing his hair back only to let it fall back to frame his face lazily. He was not handsome, his jaw was too prominent due to the rough edges, his eyes were a little too close to each other, but his features weren't overall unappealing.

He was known in these circles not as Kakuzu of the Akatsuki or a miser, not as an ex-nin of Takigakure or a very old man. He was powerful, witty, and exotic. He was confident and steadied in the permanent smile of this new persona. He was known as Glasgow after the popular character in a foreign tale.

The traveller who had nicknamed him like this was a man taller than he was, with a more athletic build and a very small head that appeared even smaller due to his ridiculously big moustache. Kakuzu had been about forty when he had met him and –the nickname aside– this man had talked to him deep into the night about their lives, their mid-life crises, and women.

Kakuzu saw even now the small kitchen filled with flies where they sat, drinking black tea with liquor, smoking heavily, and playing card after card.

"You kno', Kakúzu", the heavy accent was pleasing, "why you are this good at póker?"

"Because I am not playing for money?"

"Nó, that just makes you stúpid."

"I could almost cry now, Ivan."

Ivan took one last smoke in and then pressed the filter in the ashtray. He was intoxicated and was holding his elbows far away from each other on the table, his head slouching in between for a while. He looked up at his companion.

"That smile", he added with an eye barely open pointing one finger at his face, "That smile reminds me of a stóry I once heard from some Bób, like me" – he paused to flail his legs below the table and smile like a true hooligan– "A stóry about hów líttle Glasgó learned to smile."

Glasgow was a teenager of about sixteen. He was fairly ugly, but strong. The other boys called his mother a whore, who she was, but Glasgow did not want to be a son of a bitch. He then went to the house of one of those boys and dragged him to the river, in the middle of the night. Under a bridge he beat him to a pulp then kicked his bleeding head in the river. Leaning against that stone bridge he then smiled, smiled to have proven that boy wrong, he was no son of a bitch, he was a real motherfucker. But Glasgow was being watched by a strange reflection on the wet stone that framed the underneath of the bridge. The glossy stone showed a boy, a boy who was sad, the frown evident on his creasing forehead, his droopy eyes holding back moist tears. He moved around looking for that boy and saw that that boy was actually him. Sure, the stone had given him locks instead of straight hair and he looked shorter from above, but it was him, so big on that wall. His hand went to his knife, as if possessed. His knife went to his mouth, as if benevolent. His head refused it though with a shake left, right, left, right …

"Só he gave himself a smile for life", Ivan finished.

"I am not into self-abuse, I assure you", Kakuzu answered what he thought was an unasked question.

"Nó", his companion said, "that was not the póint of the stóry." He poured himself more tea from the pot which by this time was just liquor and downed the drink in one shot. "That smile cónfused everyóne from then ón. He was crazy, the bóy was." –Ivan sounded exasperated, then he cooled off– "But nó one could figure óut how much he actually liked it."

"I win."

…

"Kakuzu, I got the fucking bitch! You motherfucker owe me", Hidan exclaimed from where he laid on the ground, impaled and grey.

The miser went to the girl who had curled around her clasped hands in front of her chest, only one leg defying the curved position. He sighed.

"You will not hear the end of this …"

* * *

Hello everyone! Please let me know how you find the story so far, I will soon get back to the money-tracking bit of the story, so no worries about that.

As always, thank you for reading and much love,

GRaff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


	7. Limitations

He crouched next to her. A sudden heave of his stomach broke his concentration for a couple of seconds and he stopped what he was doing and looked over at his partner again. He could not see his face, but he noticed how his skin tone had returned to normal.

What did Hidan say for her to figure out that he too was there? He could see how his partner was a blabbermouth, but the girl was young and fairly stupid. He must have screamed out his repertoire and all their plans as well. Kakuzu sighed again fearing that his partner might lower the quality of the services they were offering. A train of thought made him consider slashing both younglings up and burning them right then and there and be done with it. The curiosity within him stirred him otherwise. What had happened?

He stood up and went to Hidan and examined the wound he had inflicted upon himself and the girl. The pike went into him – maybe even completely through him– underneath his sternum.

"Did you break your spine?" Kakuzu asked flatly.

"No", Hidan answered seriously opening his eyes and looking at his partner to his right, "What is going on?"

Kakuzu returned to the girl and turned her on her back. He took a kunai and started cutting down Deidara's décolletage opening her dress down to her bellybutton. The wound she had was turning greener and more purple by the second, her belly and lower ribs had swollen too. Kakuzu suspected heavy haemorrhage, but other than that none of her organs seemed to have suffered.

For once, Kakuzu was proud of Hidan for not going overboard with his ritual. He could save the girl. Very lightly he cut her wound open, tearing through her abdominal wall just where it met her ribs and down the middle of her belly just a few centimetres. As her heart gave a final beat, he allowed some of his threads to come from his forearm and start vacuuming blood and clots as he cleaned the outer skin with rubbing alcohol. Expertly more string appeared and he tied all major vessels back together with them, connecting all loosely hanging tendons and muscles. He then proceeded to sow her up. No pulse. The girl had lost during his intervention about half a litre of blood.

"Hidan, pray to your god for luck this time", he mumbled, shivering as he heard the answer come rolling with a cool huff down his neck.

"No can do."

He rolled his eyes and took the girl's right forearm into his left hand, piercing a thick string in one of her main arteries. Blood started to flow from him to her and he now noticed how pale she had become. He had met her about two or three times in person and once more in one of their holographic conferences. It then hit him: Hidan had never met her before. Guilt coursed through his veins and he secretly hoped he could rub some of it off on the girl. Without realising he squeezed her arm lightly.

He then waited for a while before commanding.

"Try resuscitating her."

…

It had taken them about half an hour to start her heart again, clean the area where the fighting took place, and change into civilian clothes. Packing everything neatly into a rigid cotton and cardboard backback that Kakuzu offered to carry, Hidan then took the girl in his arms, bridal style and looked at his partner.

"Now do you mind explaining?" His interrogative tone had drained the last bit of patience the older man had had.

"I tried so many times before, but to this day, you're still an idiot."

Hidan was so confused he didn't even know if the problem was caused by him entirely. "It's the two-tails! She is not dead. We caught her! We can go!"

While looking him straight in the eyes Kakuzu was holding the backpack in his hands having prepared to swing it over his shoulder, but deciding on tightening his grip on the object. Now bereft of his usual cloak and mask all his reactions became very obvious. He wore a black wool pullover with a stretchy turtleneck that he had rolled up to his nose then some straight navy blue pants reaching just above his black leather boots that hugged his ankles. A black and grey scarf he had wrapped across his shoulders and over his head dropped in a knot behind his neck. The way the fabric moved with him gave him an unbelievably common allure. Hidan was rather impressed to see him look normal.

Kakuzu tsked loudly, hanging their luggage over one of his shoulders and started walking slowly. As he did so another heave disturbed his stomach. He was hungry.

"Oy, fucker", Hidan shouted his cluelessness driving him slowly insane, "You better start explaining or I am dropping her down here."

Kakuzu turned a tired, exasperated look at him.

Hidan's eyebrows rose, then dropped to a frown and simultaneously he also dropped the girl with a loud thud to the ground, letting her head hit the rocks and her dress rise up to her crotch, one breast escaping the cut fabric with a jiggle.

The two men were facing each other separated by the girl and a few more meters. The sun was setting somewhere behind Kakuzu's head as if trying to blind Hidan and he let his teeth show in a muted hiss. They were crowning a narrow saddle between two mountains that framed the exit of the main road out of the village to the north. They had to go back the other way, so why would the miser be going in that direction? Something was wrong with him and Hidan knew it. He recognised none of this behaviour and he grew more confident by the minute and used every single passing moment to stare more intensely at his partner.

Kakuzu eyed the young man trying to get himself together. He had screwed up and everyone will at some point find out.

But the girl would be dead before he admitted that.

…

He didn't know exactly when, but at some point Kakuzu had blinked. Hidan took it as his sign of defeat, picked the girl up and started going towards the temple. His feet carried him down the stairs he had climbed then down the small streets and further into the heart of the city.

He was walking fast earning the concerned looks from a few of the townspeople. A young woman who was pushing her baby in a stroller gasped and reached for his arm. "Is she ok? What happened?" Hidan let the woman's fingers glide against his arm and kept walking. He took some stairs starting to climb up, up above the city until he reached what seemed to be like a row of houses stringed to each other and connected by some type of bridge that had only one foot planted in the mountain he had just climbed up. He leaned over the edge to look at the huge wooden arch that supported this bridge. It was decorated with a few swirls and otherwise nothing, yet Hidan found himself staring at it for quite some time. He lifted his gaze to look around and noticed that the clouds were descending onto the village leaving the peaks bare and the sky so blue and starry. The moon had hidden somewhere around the world.

Hidan took a seat on the edge letting his feet hang loosely. He then looked at the girl in his arms. In the darkness he could only see how white her skin contrasted with her torn dress. His desire to understand the situation settled in once more and he started tracing his fingers across her face looking for the small mouth and the thin lips he had seen in the picture. He grazed over said slit once with the back of his index finger and with his thumb once more and was startled to feel it framed by a meaty pout.

"The hell …"

He looked at her legs, but he wasn't sure if he remembered them correctly. So he just kept staring going up and down the whiteness with his eyes. At some point he focused on her hands that were resting one within the other on her lap. On her right index finger he noticed a blurry grey and he rose her hand with his right palm closer to his face. It was a stone ring bearing a mark, probably a kanji that he couldn't read.

"No way!" He exclaimed shaking his head in surprise from side to side. He chuckled then focusing some chakra on her ring. It resonated slightly, he could feel it vibrate against his own palm. He sighed deeply, leaning on his back, arranging the girl to rest against him.

"Crazy bitch", he argued with her irresponsive form, "You _could_"- he emphasised letting his eyes go big- "and you _should_ have said something!"

He then took her left hand in his and banged it against his chest imitating a soft voice: "Oh, no, get this handsome, powerful man away from me!"

Back to his normal voice: "Fear not, fair lady, I'm a fucking gentleman!"

"No, no", the girl protested in Hidan's fail of a high pitch.

"And who are you to determine that, hm?"

He patted her hand and left it be.

…

Zetsu was always diligent when it came to opening the apothecary. He could never sleep so he opened at five in the morning, fumbling around in the dark to wipe away any dust and mop the floors. By the time the sun's light hit their windows, everything looked bright and sparkly. He leaned back on the counter in his disguise and looked through the big windows of the shop and the glass door. He found the white walls, the grey, old wood frames, and the glass to always look so fresh despite their old age.

This man knew very little about emotions and about attachment. He never questioned it, but it was peculiar for him to tend to every object here with so much care. Sasori had put him in charge of the place since he had bought it and Zetsu had to furnish it and decorate it. He felt proud about it.

It was odd how he had left his true self and not a clone of his settle here. He hadn't been on a mission in his true self for a while, but he wasn't making a big fuss out of it.

The days here were mellower and Mr. Murakami enjoyed them. Mr. Murakami was also greeted kindly and he helped people. And people were not scared of him.

He was serving customers that morning with haste: a shinobi, an old man, a pregnant young woman, a child looking for cough medicine, a chemist looking for gunpowder.

"Out", Zetsu exclaimed.

"Oh come on, Mr. Murakami", the scientist muttered, "I am not a criminal."

"It only takes one explosion to become one, I've seen it", he said rolling his eyes, "Out!"

Nothing was out of the ordinary and he should have known better.

"Will you hush me out too, when I'll remind you of your duties?"

Zetsu stopped in his tracks turning to meet an angry gaze.

"Hello", he mumbled, " you-"

"Yes, me", he began but then noticed the concerned looks of the people around them, "I will wait outside."

* * *

Hello everyone! Thank you for reading and I would like to address special thanks to Nyth for the sweet, encouraging reviews! :3

As always much love,

GRaff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


	8. Hidan and Deidara

Deidara awoke as the horizon was threatened by a line of green mist. The light hit the earth just barely, conveying the surroundings a grey and dull tone as if the world had been splashed with slime. She felt her hands around. One of them was frozen underneath her, clenched between her breasts and the warm body below her. The other one rested as a loose fist right in front of her face. She tried extending her fingers. It took her a while. Once she finally succeeded she placed her palm on the chest below her and attempted to push herself up. She hoped the pressure would wake whoever that person was up. She was cold, thirsty, and in a lot of pain. Sadly, her body wouldn't go further than supporting her on her elbows. She hung her head in defeat and closed her eyes.

Hidan was watching this spectacle unfold and once he saw that she stopped moving he placed a hand on her lower back. Immediately he noticed how wet her dress was and how cold she felt. Slowly, he started straightening himself and turning her around in his lap so that her feet were planted to the ground firmly. She swallowed hard and he stopped moving.

Her body felt numb. She brought one hand to her wound and held the other one on her left knee and, while she opened her eyes slowly, she tried to straighten her back. Calmness enveloped her despite the grogginess, the pain, and the cold and after a few deep breaths she relaxed into the hand that held her back and reached for the hair tie that had rolled off to the nape of her neck, bringing her ponytail forward over her right shoulder.

He looked at her waiting for the curtain of hair to be removed so that he could see her face. She however untied it and let it hang longer, fuller between them. The shadows kept playing in the twilight and the two of them found the silence perfectly fitting. As the first ray of sun broke through the clouds and above the peaks, Deidara reached towards Hidan with her hand looking for support. He offered his hand and she gladly took it. She held her breath as she brought her legs right next to his hips then pushed strongly to stand up. Releasing her breath she held her stomach again and let her head hang in exhaustion. He watched her while he brought his legs back on ground with his hands finally noticing that they had gone incredibly stiff from hanging freely, the cold, and her weight. He hissed as he massaged them trying to force the blood to flow quicker.

Deidara touched around her body taking in the hideous stitches she had been given, her purple skin that was stained in blood here and there, and her torn dress. A tear rolled down her cheek from the drowsiness that pressed on her head and she licked it away as it came rolling past her nose. Bringing her tongue slowly back to her mouth she realised how dry and patchy her lips were. She ran her left hand over her neck and chest feeling very hot, her ventilating lungs incapable of taking in enough air. She clasped the two halves of the dress with both hands bringing them over her chest, to keep it covered and warm. She looked up at the stairs in front of her that were headed down then swung her head so that her hair would stay on her back and then she turned around using way too many steps to find the man she had slept on.

He was sitting on his ass resting against his legs which were bent in front of him, having finally gotten them to work. Not one of her movements had escaped him.

Hidan looked her up and down and did not like what he saw one bit. She was very dirty, her face was pale, her eyes were only partially open and stuck in deep purple hollows in her head while her lips were just as pale as her skin. She was waiting for him in complete shadow and he noted how her black dress and slim appearance gave her a ghostly, evil look. He stood up instantly as she narrowed her eyes on him and followed her as she started going down the stairs.

"Do you have any money on you?" She asked in a frail voice.

He was just next to her, on her right side, focusing on everything that was going on: the way the sun had made it to the valley below, dissipating the mist, and warming up the green of the trees, the way his black t-shirt hung, ruffled and wetted against his back making him shiver, and how she must be so much colder, the way she hugged herself stepping down carefully, always steadying her ankles and her heels before engaging in a further step. They went slowly, but it didn't bother him.

"I do", he answered in a calm, even manner.

"I know this place that opens early", she explained, "Let's go there I will pay you back later."

He approved with a nod and started thinking about the time. It was probably five or five thirty in the morning, ridiculously early. As they reached the bottom of the stairs she looked left and right as if making sure that the streets were empty and then she started crossing the road ahead, disappearing in an alley that went perpendicular to it between two stony hills. It was very narrow, not more than one and a half meters, and Hidan was forced to remember how Kakuzu had dragged him through similar places and how little he enjoyed this.

"Fuck", he hummed loudly as he made his way over some boxes and piles of garbage. He found it odd that there were doors to his left and right. People lived here? He stretched his neck to look for windows and –indeed– there were a few rows of them. He twisted to watch a stripe of sky and a few spherical constructions above. A genuine smile took over his lips as he realised those were the houses from last night that were now bathing in sunlight. From down there they looked like colourful balloons.

Deidara noticed that he had fallen behind and looked up following his gaze. "It's the rich neighbourhood", she explained.

He looked at her puzzled.

She continued: "They have light and proper ventilation, also far more space and fewer rats." She hinted with the corner of her eye at the garbage bags that were splattered all over the place. "Also, the higher you go the more ninja patrols there are … because there is more space –you know, to move around."

She started walking again in the initial direction and he followed her this time more closely. They ended up heading slightly down to a street that was narrow and packed with ambulant shops. The smell of greasy food and faeces was intoxicating. In front of them a very tall mountain plastered with thousands of windows reached endlessly high. It was separated from the street they were on by a river.

"This is the canal", Deidara explained, "All sewages are redirected here. It's about fifteen meters deep." She went to the edge of it and looked down and Hidan did the same. She then whispered to him: "If you ever need to get rid of someone, here is the place." A huffed, cynical chuckle left her throat.

Hidan was about to ask why as, all of a sudden, the whole basin was emptied with a loud whisk of its water and some doors on the lower side of the mountain opened. A bunch of people, mostly men and boys, in decrepit clothing except for their very tall, very yellow boots walked in and started scrubbing away at the walls, and floors, cleaning the drainage grate of all the garbage and slime. Ladders where brought up and they started climbing up until they had cleaned the whole thing. They stepped over the edge, pushing Deidara and Hidan aside as they walked. In a couple of seconds, fresh water filled the basin, and women gathered and started washing clothes chatting loudly and laughing. A few men and kids jumped in the water cleaning themselves after their work.

"Excuse, sir", a voice interrupted them. Hidan stepped aside and apologised in return. The woman eyed him then Deidara, then him once more. He noticed a huge bruise around her eye and her broken lip. She then fell to her knees and submerged one of the many shirts she had to wash into the water.

"No one will question why I look so beaten up here", Deidara said with an ironic smile, "Come."

He stepped to her side, wanting to ask her so many questions. But he held them to himself. How did she know all this? He and Kakuzu had not seen this yet –maybe because they were always jumping through the peaks up high? And how come she knows places around here?

"That woman", he started and Deidara continued: "It might be her husband, it might be that she got punched in the face washing clothes. You see, it's their job. They get paid by the amount they wash. So the more you wash before the water gets dirty, the better. It's really the only occupation women have around here."

"Shinobi households aside, I suppose", he mentioned.

"Of course", she confirmed, bitterness evident in her tone, "There is no nation more pretentious than this one. All funds they have go to glorify the military and their families. It's ridiculous – We're here."

It was one of those ambulant shops from earlier, Hidan could tell. It was surrounded by some of the men and children that had cleaned the basin earlier. They stood up, slime and shit rolling off their yellow boots. He was irritated by the smell.

"Give me twenty", Deidara commanded and Hidan handed her a 1,000 ryo bill. Her eyes went big and she looked exasperated. A few children saw the money and commenced to "Ooh" and "Aah" around them.

She grabbed his bill and his arm and pushed him away walking quickly up the street until they found more civilised, bigger houses. The canal still hauted them on their right. Yet it was surrounded by a higher fence and disappeared under a high mountain as the street started to curb to the left.

She let go of him and kept her pace up, they would eat home, she decided. He was truly irritated and embarrassed by this point so there was no way she would drag him further into misery.

"Wait here", he ordered her on a harsh tone and went running to what looked like the back door to a hotel or a café as the trash cans, boxes, and many pipes would indicate. He went up a small row of stairs, travelling a total of two stories in height, to a man who looked his age. He was sitting on the edge of the wooden platform, dangling his feet and smoking a cigarette. He looked at Hidan and saw what he was wearing.

"The entrance is on the other side, to the left of the curb-"

"Yeah, I know. I just wanted to ask for some water and some grub."

"The restaurant opens in two hours, sir. I am sure you can find accommodation at the reception, to the left-"

"-of the curb, on the other side, I know", Hidan interrupted, ready to strangle the boy, but he did his best to supress it, "Accommodate me here, will you?" He said and handed him ten thousand. The boy's eyes widened and he disappeared in the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" Deidara had climbed next to him and looked him judgingly in the eyes.

"There you go, sir", the boy said, a huge grin on his face. He took a wooden box, that used to be filled with fruit and turned it upside down, placed it on the ground, between the two as they continued their staredown, and put a basket filled with soft bread and a chunk of butter wrapped in paper on it. He rushed again into the kitchen as Hidan made him stop in his tracks.

"Bring me a big towel", he yelled not breaking eye contact with her once. The boy came, handed him the towel, which Hidan tossed to Deidara, and then placed two cilindrical cups and a tall pot filled with tea on the box. He patted his hands against his apron looking at Hidan, who was still watching Deidara, and then he looked at Deidara who smiled in gratitude. He disappeared again indoors and didn't come back, so Hidan simply sat down, assuming the same position the boy had had. Deidara pushed the small box with her foot towards the edge, right behind Hidan. She then sat next to him, facing the other side, and let her dress fall off her upper body as she clasped her chest with one hand.

"Take your shirt off", she suggested and Hidan took it off. Deidara put the towel around his shoulders, and then around her, the towel forming an s-shape between them. She poured them some tea and gave Hidan a cup which he mechanically accepted. Then she opened one of the breads, noticing how the steam quickly coloured the air, and smeared butter all over it. She handed it back, he took it again. He felt her lean into him, so he leaned into her as they ate in silence.

As she finished one of the breads and rubbed any crumbs off her fingers, Deidara remembered the 1,000 ryo and took the bill she had snatched earlier and handed it back to its owner over her shoulder. He took it, still chewing slowly, and concentrated on the sky.

"Thanks", he muttered absently.

"Mhm", she replied, her mouth full.

The sun was reaching across the curb to their left, the sky soaring bright blue above them. Hidan felt tired and envied the fat clouds as they lazily entered and left his view.


	9. Kakuzu and Sasori

"He could have killed her!"

"He was supposed to kill someone looking exactly like her! For once he's efficient on a mission and you-"

"It was wrong of him to jump in without making abso-"

"That what? That she_ wasn't_ the target? Yeah, sounds like what you two do _all_ the time!"

"We specialise in different types of missions. That is hardly a good argument!"

"It is! You know why? Because we have a standard of doing things, we as an organisation!"

"Funny that you put it like that after you made sure that we compete with each other every single time we get a chance!"

"Well, maybe if you had let me know that you bought a vacation house we could have-"

"Don't change the subject! You just wanted to up your quota. You knew you could hit the jackpot with two tailed beasts and you did not give a rat's ass about letting us in on that."

"I always-"

"No, you _never_, so don't turn words into the same filth that plagues your brain!"

A quiet argument, a quarrel so silent it seemed so much more severe because of its steadied pace.

Kakuzu turned around resting his hands on his hips in exasperation. He walked towards the glass wall and sat on the covered heater, supporting his elbows on his knees. The accusations Sasori was throwing at him were ridiculous.

Had he not put his life on the line for the Akatsuki before? Did he not get the most money in? The goal was to capture the beasts quickly and finish Pain's project, was it not? What did he expect from him? Only he knew how long and how fast he had travelled alone to complete so many missions that required a rested, informed mind. And here this dim-witted, low-life of an 'artist' questioned it. This stupid investment in a pharmacy was truly the cherry on top of things. He was working like a dog to make sure paper, yes: paper didn't give them away and he had the audacity to not only establish a base under the enemy's nose, but also challenge them to a full-on chase. It was like he was trying to get killed.

Sasori had tried to calm down in vain, ultimately dropping to rest between a bunch of pillows on his carpet. He kept clattering rhythmically with his teeth to lull the emotions away. Guessing around, he tried to understand what exactly had angered him. He contemplated how this organisation that had initially promised them retribution for their suffering was turning more and more into a hierarchy of power determined solely by number of killings and money gathered. Autonomy was a lie and the puppeteer cursed at himself for his foolish hope. After all, practising his craft came before the Akatsuki and he had been bereft of this privilege.

He couldn't help but think about Orochimaru and how he betrayed them. Rumour had it, that he had left because he wasn't able to get the eyes of at least one of two of their members required for some highly advanced techniques. However true that might be, the very core of his problem had been the stagnation of his research. The very talented medic had put his whole life into his profession and what good would it have made to stop the progression for an illusion of morality and falsely defined power?

"Master Sasori", he once told him, not long before leaving, "there is beauty in these heinous acts of ours, if you know where to look."

It was a matter of principle that caused him to hate the miser. Money was a filthy thing, yet it was the only thing that could entice the man. What did he say earlier? Oh, competition motivates you to try harder? Looking at his open palm, Sasori played with his fingers. He guessed that not even Kakuzu realised just how bad this competition had become.

Akatsuki operated by the rule of "pay per pray", the more you killed, the higher your quota, the higher your quota, the higher your pay. Intelligence missions ranked low, however they were underpinning the entire operating mechanism of the organisation. Without information, they were lost. Surely, by the stupidly installed rule and the general austerity among the members, everyone had their personal informers, and generally refused to share information. Sasori himself was guilty of supporting this way of functioning. He and Deidara required a lot of material for their techniques, making them a slow team that needed to be well supplied before making a move. Needless to say, he kept information and trusted suppliers just for him, not sharing anything, not even with his partner.

They specialised in assassination on specific, isolated targets or on big masses. Kakuzu and Hidan were the standard team to handle platoon-organised combat, dealing with teams of shinobi who had trained together because they were the only ones who could risk getting killed. Kisame and Itachi, the young man with the Sharingan, were the most balanced team in terms of fighting abilities so they were the ones handling the most complicated missions – ultimately, those two were the best paid out of the whole lot. There were no such things as meet-ups and they were lucky to have their leader squeeze information out of them during their rare sessions.

By these standards, everyone had grown tired, physically and mentally. He noticed it in himself, in Deidara, even in Zetsu at times. Was it too much to ask for a bit of understanding? For a well-deserved break?

Sasori felt so terribly alone.

Kakuzu eyed him angrily and said: "I make decisions for us and sometimes they are difficult to make. So-"

Sasori interrupted him, trying to chuckle: "So whenever someone as much as tells you you've screwed up, you lose it." He stood up, simply unable to stand in the same room with him anymore. He stopped in the doorway and added, a frozen glint aimed at the miser: "Does this remind you of the time you abandoned your village?"

…

They were getting closer to the pharmacy. Hidan was smirking, unable to explain why he was feeling happy. Deidara assumed his grumpiness had been stilled with food. She smiled too.

"I wanted to ask you", he began waiting for her to give her approval. Deidara was shocked and irritated by his sudden interest, but she indulged him. Her eyes met his as both turned to look at each other. They kept walking.

He was grinning: "Did you _run_ up those stairs earlier?"

"Hm", she hummed, her smile on, yet her gaze hardening, "I didn't know what you were up to."

"Oy", he felt insulted and grunted, "I don't need fucking supervision. And I do what I want!" He sighed: "What could I possibly begin with a kitchen maid?"

"Haven't you noticed?" – she was getting angrier– "Mm, yeah, you have this untameable tendency towards sacrilege and spontaneous impaling of people you don't know."

They stopped she was holding the towel around herself; he held her wet, dirty dress in his right hand, clutching at the disgusting fabric. He could only stare at her his mouth opening a bit. She waited and when no response came, she continued on a severe tone, a murmur really, oozing derision: "I suppose I should shut up, right?" –she lifted her eyebrows and redirected her gaze on the ground– "Before the crazy comes out?"

Her steps lead the way and Hidan followed silently. Angrily.

…

Deidara was standing in Sasori's way unaware of the conversation that was going on between the two men.

"Sharing stories?" She asked innocently while guiding her partner back inside and joining him in doing so.

Kakuzu had not taken his eyes off the puppeteer. The puppeteer kept staring a void stare ahead. Hidan hesitated to join the club and stood posted in a defensive state next to the door. Deidara hugged her towel. In less than ten seconds, the air became unbreathable. The tension in the room threatened to suffocate everyone.

The older men had one thing in common. They both thought very lowly of their partners' intelligence. So, in their opinion, they didn't need to partake in their planning. They were better off, in the heads of the elders, not knowing what their actions caused. Both Kakuzu and Sasori were perfectly capable of understanding any future hatred that the younger ones might bear towards them and, frankly, they couldn't care less about their feelings.

"Your wound", Sasori said looking at the girl, "I will clean it and hopefully I can help with the scarring."

"Later", she answered, a chilling flatness in her voice, "Does anyone mind explaining what is going on, hm?" Hidan supported her question raising his gaze to find Kakuzu who made eye-contact with him, then looked at the girl.

"I see you haven't introduced yourselves yet", he noted, "Well, that is not relevant, I suppose. You are alive and we can proceed with our individual missions. Assigned missions, that is." Sasori took the hint.

"Of course, assigned missions", his voice was acidic, "And casual brothel management?"

"Information gathering", Kakuzu leisurely explained.

"Of course", the puppeteer agreed.

Hidan leaned off the wall and rubbed his nose, nearing the middle of the room dangerously slow and said, his voice rising with every word: "Will someone explain what the fucking hell is going on? Fucking cock-sucking mother! I basically killed this hoe and now I have to shovel your shit around? No fucking way." He was walking like a predator around the room eyeing everyone. "We", he shouted looking into Deidara's eyes, "need to know how -after all your fucking preparations- this could still happen!"

"You either put your cock back in your pants, boy, or you start flying", Kakuzu threatened.

"Nothing changes", Sasori looked up at Deidara attempting to clarify everything with a minimal explanation, "We continue with the mission and our plans, then we have an additional task to tackle that Mr. Kakuzu has assigned to us."

Deidara was ready to go with that, feeling how her skin was crawling with heat, how sweat rolled down her naked body underneath that towel and soaked up her underpants. She shuddered at the violent itch that surged the cut on her belly and she felt almost drained of her sanity.

Hidan eyed Sasori and spoke violently: "Old man, everything changed the minute I gave up my way of doing things for this bunch of assholes you call an organisation. This is a matter of trust-"

"Tragic, to know I will live without it", Kakuzu laughed out loud.

Hidan lounged at him impaling his kunai in his shoulder feeling the arm twitch below. His partner was startled not expecting such agility on his part and got angry, putting a rigid arm through his belly, clasping his spine, his squeeze minacious. He felt the acid in Hidan's stomach attack his skin down to his elbow then dripping on his toes, the warm pulse against his fingers and the slippery bones, so easy to snap.

"Go ahead", he encouraged him, "Let's see if you can sleep better at night!" He hinted with his eyes and head towards the girl then turned a confident grin at Kakuzu who with an expressionless face dislocated two vertebrae. Hidan bit his lip muffling his own scream and felt Kakuzu's hand dart lower down his spine, breaking all bones in its way. Kakuzu's entire forearm stretched Hidan's belly threatening to deform his skin definitely. His black t-shirt lingered higher around Kakuzu's arm, a ghost of the movement of the attack. He retracted his arm shaking the blood off, letting his partner drop to the floor, head against the framed heater. Hidan rested on his back, parallel to the window.

The miser eyed Deidara who -under the evident pain on her face- had managed to bring forth a truly evil smile watching Hidan lose more blood by the second and scream in his throat out of sheer pain.

"There you go, princess", Kakuzu finally voiced, "You have been avenged!"

He left the room quickly, followed by Sasori. Deidara sat on the heater to the right of the window, Hidan twitching at her feet. Her skin burned, ready to melt everything it touched. The glass she leaned against was stained in little red drops that Kakuzu brought forth as he had shaken his arm clean. Hidan looked up at her and she smiled her evil smile. Revenge felt good. Her bare toes went to his forehead and she played with it, twisting his head back and forth.

"Not so tough now, are you, hm?"

He gasped for air never dropping his smile, "Fucking bitch!"

They both laughed silently for a few seconds. She left his forehead be and took her towel off, one hand covering her breasts. Hidan took in her naked body and smirked liking how she stood up, then bent down, her hair rolling off her back so lusciously thick. She turned the heater on then came to his left side and covered his body with the towel.

"Hopefully you get an infection and die", she said looking him in the eyes with a faint chuckle. Hidan was taken aback unsure whether she was joking or actually somewhat serious. The girl herself wasn't sure about that.

"Bitch, I am immortal!"

"But less attractive by the minute, so … that didn't really do much for you." She mouthed a 'sorry' faking an empathetic expression then disappeared from his view. He couldn't move.

He would get her for that last comment, he just knew. For now he simply closed his eyes. Water started running somewhere in the background. Rain? Maybe she was showering. Hidan soon found himself asleep.

* * *

Hello everyone! I think the four had to come together at some point. We are slowly slipping back into the detective-y, investigation-y bit of the story. New fictional places to explore will not appear too soon. So, I hope Kumogakure doesn't bore you thus far. But we will meet one of the good characters of the Naruto universe. How many fans does he have, I wonder ... he is fairly annoying in the series. Oh well, we'll see.

Thanks so-so much for reading, guys :3

Much love,

GRaff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


	10. Senses

A very peculiar thing about shops in Kumogakure was that they were organised together in small groups all across the village, summing up to five. They were displaced rather oddly too. The poorest shopping centre was an open market outside of town where people gathered in straw and dirt huts around the feet of rocky formations. In those huts, merchants would present different products and there they would also store them, on the floor or in improvised boxes. Usually, many goods were simply left outdoors covered with linen. It was certainly unsanitary; however, they were sold in a couple of days at most every time so people couldn't really protest.

The general pattern seemed to be, the poorer the centre, the more open space it hogged. Some shops had fancy storage space obtained by drilling huge chambers inside the mountains. The most exquisite of them however hovered next to the Kage tower in the middle of the city. Each shopping centre had about ten shops corresponding to the essential needs of a community: a grocery store, a pharmacy, a clothing shop, a library, a general goods store, a tool shop. Depending on the local customer needs some would have speciality shops. The richest centre had a luxury item shop. The poorest had something known colloquially as the 'crop shop'.

This nifty apparatus was something to behold. In the front it presented itself as a job office, hiring people as day labourers in a perfectly legal fashion. Usually, they employed children or old people; this did not fit the legal dispositions, however nobody cared. The jobs ranged from delivery to salubrity and promised to be strenuous. In the back of the office, the 'crop shop' offered totally different services. It was recruiting women and girls for the prostitution industry, hiring them locally or anywhere else should one provide sufficient funds.

The shop was located outside of the village in a peripheral neighbourhood, a ghetto, that was not officially recognised by the authorities. So even if they were allowed to trade, and enter the village, they had no schools, no temples, no police offices and no hospitals. The population here was not living in piles of garbage as the one in the village did, they were however exposed to attackers and various other threats. The community expanded along a forest track that many ninjas had used as an ambush point. The main road through the middle of the community was known as 'Downhill' because one goes downhill towards the village and because your life, too, can go downhill right there.

People here were no shinobi, most tried to escape the diseases that threatened to overpower them at some point or another if they had stayed back in the village. They were poor, but clean. They had it hard, but it had made them stronger. Kakuzu admired these people. He was examining this peculiar social phenomenon and was forced to think back at how the hidden villages had initially come to be, namely just like this, by forming adjacent neighbourhoods to the villages. He was wondering if Kumogakure would ever expand to incorporate these people as well.

He walked looking around for suspicious eyes, then made his way towards a round hut with no windows and no doors, a big opening allowing anyone to enter in a pile of discarded rugs and boxes. As he stepped inside he noticed a staircase that went down into the ground and waited, looking at it intensely. The shawled top of a head appeared from the staircase and Kakuzu gazed into big, black eyes, rimmed heavily and darkly. It was the middle of the day, yet only little light entered the building. The person disappeared, but not completely. He saw it was a woman, not necessarily because of her eyes, but her frail fingers clung to the ground. She was talking to someone, then stopped only to reappear before Kakuzu again, this time fully emerging from the ground.

"Welcome", she spoke in a very raspy voice that fit with her very curvy, bronzed figure. It was too obvious not to notice as she only wore a shawl, a red shawl that wrapped around her head and face, a red shawl that pressed her breasts tightly against her chest as to teasingly simulate more volume, a red shawl that wrapped around her waist then hung loosely to hide her private parts, a red shawl that had nothing to do there. But Kakuzu could play this game. He said nothing.

She eyed him confidently, measuring him, and started to head downstairs. Kakuzu was keeping his eyes on the dimples of her lower back refusing to look lower at her exposed ass. He didn't find it hard to accomplish this task, but he noticed it was quite exciting given the dryness of his mouth.

Kakuzu loved women. He did not care much about love, but he loved sex. And he respected any woman that opened herself to please him and that allowed him to become grounded. After he abandoned the village women became so much more important to him from this point of view. He felt in the right place next to one, especially a woman who asked for nothing in return, and just let him and herself _be_. So, if there was something that Kakuzu found expensive that he still indulged in it was this: women. However, there was a way -and he had found it- to turn even this hidden hobby into profit.

As he made his way downstairs and grew more accustomed to the dim, reddish light he noticed even more shawls, blue ones, black ones, white ones, wrapped in many possible ways around slender figures that lounged around in utter calmness. All girls had their face hidden, only the eyes being allowed to poke out in a flutter of lashes.

A huff escaped him as he noticed the thick curtains that hung from every wall. The way the light hit them made them resemble satin. The material contrasted strongly with the leather couches and animal furs that the girls laid on, stretched on, or hugged on. He smirked behind his turtleneck mesmerised by how one girl stretched, arms above her head, against a furry blanket, the fabric that initially adorned her now a strip of white between her teeth, around her neck and wrists. A blue light played across her skin, but was hindered as another girl leaned over to kiss down her body. She chuckled and gasped as the hair of the other one tickled and caressed her. At some point she must have felt him watching her because she opened her eyes in shock, as if suddenly shy, and nudged her playmate. This girl lifted her head and looked at him. She shifted slowly, sensually from her spot, not trying to hide her body while reaching her hands through her hair backwards. The blue light made her look pale. Kakuzu noticed that her shawl was not obstructing her face and he desperately tried to make note of her features. He only registered how half of her face shone much darker than the other, yet her broad smile hid it conspicuously. She stood up and left the room, playing with her hair in the process. Turning his head after her, he found his guide again.

The girl in red had stopped at the bar and sat on a tall chair leaning her elbows on the counter her head facing forward looking blankly ahead. The clinking of glass, however, made him shift his focus on a mess of curly untamed black hair.

"Ah, Kakuzu!" An older woman with dark, freckled skin appeared from behind the bar. She was about sixty, almost as tall as him and had a very prominent butt. She was a big woman, her oversized, slightly droopy chest hidden behind a loose sweetly-yellow dress and multiple rows of necklaces.

"Mother pimp, dare I call you?" – "Don't you dare!" She retorted simultaneously. She didn't like the name the frequent customers had given her: "Just Mia, please."

With a sharp whistle she exclaimed: "All right, girls, what's new?"

"They speak of treason", the white shawl said coyly, arching against its furry blanket.

"Apparently, more patrols have been sent to the west", a stripped shawl murmured closely.

"Some mentioned the Tsuchikage", Mia explained behind him.

"They laughed at the idea of a test?" An orange shawl wondered. Kakuzu frowned.

"Alright girls, that would be all", Mia shouted and everything went still, "Satisfied?"

Kakuzu turned in his chair stopping to look at the woman wearing the red shawl for just a few seconds.

Mia understood. "She's got something for you."

"Speak", Kakuzu urged her. The woman's posture changed in attitude completely as she twirled in her chair to face him, both elbows on her knees, and hands positioned flat against one another.

"I saw the white-haired one", she spoke softly, but he couldn't help noticing the sass in her voice despite her efforts to suppress it, he loved raspy voices. "He was with a woman, at the canal this morning."

"What were they doing there?"

"She seemed to be explaining to him how it functioned. She was very pale and", she swallowed hard speaking almost inaudibly, "He seemed to have beaten her."

"Why do you say that?" He noticed how she tensed, fearing to answer that question. "Don't worry, speak", he encouraged her.

She let her head hang and sighed. Kakuzu wondered what her expression was behind the fabric. The woman looked up and in her eyes fear and honesty clashed into glistening moisture.

"Sir, he looked like he did it before and would do it again, he would" – a tear rolled down her face and she caught it with her fingers– "I know it, sir. I can recognise a man like him anywhere, sir, I can."

"That's enough now, go to the others", Mia rushed her, but Kakuzu held her wrist.

"What did he do specifically?" He asked bluntly.

She hiccupped into the back of her hand, answering between soft sobs: "I don't remember" –she seemed to calm down– "He didn't speak much and when he did, I heard him ask about me."

"Why you?"

"I don't know, sir. I was dressed simply, not like this. He shouldn't have noticed me at all."

Kakuzu sighed, thanked her, and turned to face Mia. The old woman poured him a big glass of brunt wine. Kakuzu rolled his pullover down and downed it in one shot.

"Do you understand what she meant by that?" He asked the bartender that was smirking at him like only the devil could, he swore. She refilled his glass.

"Her husband be a beater", she answered rolling her eyes, "Thought you'd figure it out."

He let his mouth stretch in annoyance then said: "The shawls …"

"Oh, yes", she confirmed on a stern, almost detached tone, prolonging the vocals, "All of them need them."

Kakuzu downed his second drink.

"Why don't you pick one for right now?"

"I told you", he explained, "They need to trust me."

Mia tsked. Kakuzu lifted his shirt and started to undo a series of bandages. Wads of cash were stringed together around his body and he placed the odd garland on the counter. "That's why you have them give the reports personally?" Mia took it and started counting, leaving the bottle in Kakuzu's reach.

"Yes", he was pondering his options taking a scribbled piece of paper, about four times his hand size out of his pants' pocket, "I noted all destinations here. Have the girls transported to these brothels as soon as possible."

"Yes, yes" –she paused, eyes wide, her fingers agile and fast– "You have become quite bossy over the years, haven't you?" She spoke in a monotonous tone, eyes focused on counting.

He smiled, downing another glass.

…

The apothecary had a small hall that lead to the garage if you went left and upstairs to a long, empty hall. To the right of the hall downstairs there were two small rooms. In the first one Zetsu stored all cleaning supplies. The second one was a small bathroom. As you entered it -careful on the door as not to hit it against the staircase- it had the toiled to the left. Suspended about two metres above it was its water reservoir. To the right, a small, narrow hip-tall cabinet had been installed, that Deidara had emptied after she arrived. From the door one step was enough to reach the sink, above which a tall mirror hung. A dim light bulb balanced on a wire just in the middle of the room, like a small sun illuminating a shithole. The tiles on the walls were old, white, and broken. The floor was made out of the same greyish wood that had been used all around the house. Deidara could swear she could detect old people smell, but she had more important things to tend to.

The door swung close behind her as she entered the narrow space. She closed the lid to the toilet, took her underwear off then sat down and opened the cabinet in front of her putting bandages and hydrogen peroxide on the shelves. She felt around her wound happy to see it wasn't infected. Relieved, she leaned against the tiles behind her and enjoyed their coldness.

A few knocks emanated from the other side. Deidara opened the door and let Sasori inside who shut them in quickly. He closed the cabinet and placed his kit on top of it. Then he tossed a small stool in front of his partner and sat down. She sat straight with her arms at her sides as he inspected the wound.

"He did a nice job", Sasori mumbled as he was stretching the skin around the stitches. He leaned to the side, taking a cloth out of his pocket then stood up to dampen it and load it with soap. Deidara saw the steam rise from the faucet. With easy hands he leaned closer to her and started cleaning her face, her shoulders, her chest and breasts, avoiding her ribs and belly, then moved to scrub her back. He cleaned the cloth and continued with her lower abdomen and crotch, moving to her legs, and feet. He then rinsed her body and cleaned the wound. Out of his kit he took a vile of some reddish substance, that he started pouring on her scar. With a sizzle the skin contracted.

"It is not even closed, let alone healed, so the stitches stay", he explained standing up and pushing his stool in a corner carefully, "But I tightened the skin around it. If we do this daily, you may be left with just a white scar, not a roll of collagen."

"Thank you", she voiced eyeing him oddly.

He watched her take his hand and switch their positons. "My turn", she said smiling.

"I don't need-"

"Yes, you do, hm!" His shirt was lifted quickly and then she disposed of his shoes and pants.

Deidara started by combing his hair. Then she washed the cloth he had used on her a few times thoroughly in hot water. Sasori saw her hands get red. She lathered the soap on it and brought it to her nose.

"Smells like lavender, mm", she mused as she started wiping his face clean. "Don't get any in the eyes", she sang, pouting like a mouse, and kept humming the melody as she worked. She proceeded to his upper body moving swiftly. Following the contour of the wooden articulations she made sure to remove any dust that had stuck to the obvious crevices. She gently went over his steady, slowly beating heart implanted in the left side of his chest. Then she returned to polish the remaining wood taking her time as she cleaned his fingers wiggling them around and resting them on her free hand. She reached forward and went over his hips and back, over his flat crotch and legs. As she cleaned the long wire that was coiled in his stomach she noticed how black the cloth had become, so she stood up and started washing it until it was clean. And kept washing it.

"Deidara …"

"Goddamn it, Sasori!" Angrily, she tossed the wet cloth in the sink and it splashed loudly against the porcelain, spurting a huge amount of water on the mirror. She let the hot water run, then she fell to the ground resting against the cabinet while holding her head in her hands.

* * *

Hello everyone! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy the story :3

Much love,

GRaff

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


	11. Hierarchy

Sasori left the bathroom abandoning his clothes and tools. He had pondered about taking them with him, but that would have meant he had to reach towards her. That he couldn't do. Closing the door he watched her remain in her unshakeable position. Suppressing any thoughts that were adamant on distracting him, he took refuge in his workshop and started to prepare for Kakuzu's return.

The hot water kept running and Deidara's vision became more blurry by the second. Taking a deep breath she hit her head lightly against the cabinet behind her a few times. She was on eye-level with the toilet staring at the black gap between the seat and the basin. At some point she decided to stand up turning to the faucet and letting the hot water mix with some cold water. She stuck her head under the jet and started rubbing the soap through her hair thoroughly. After rinsing it she splashed water over her body. Then she grabbed the peroxide and bandages that were on and in the cabinet respectively and tied her wound in place. After she considered herself clean enough she grabbed Sasori's shirt that had snuck underneath the sink as a grey clump. She took it and turned it from outside in. With a sad, yet hopeful look she brought the neckline to her nose and smelled it. Nothing. She huffed, smiling a disappointed smile, and put it on, then she grabbed his pants as well.

Opening the door to the bathroom, a whirl of steam escaped in the house. She reached for the light switch and turned it off. Only then she realised just how dark the house was. From the pharmacy voices of many people emanated disturbingly. Deidara headed upstairs to her favourite room. She stopped in the doorway watching Hidan laying there. He was sleeping on his side and had removed the soggy towel dismissing it at his feet. Her gaze rested on the long window and the heavy, grey sky behind it. The room was flooded with white, foggy light looking very odd. She closed her eyes and took in the smell of drying blood, the murmurs from downstairs, the echo of the rain. It reminded her of something sombre. Silently, as to not wake him up, she went inside and grabbed the towel. Bending over she felt a warm fluid in her mouth and she coughed against the back of her throat, swallowing the mucus and the rusty tasting fluid. She supported herself against the heater crouching slightly and pressing the bloody towel against herself. After a few seconds of pausing she quickly exited the room, only to feel a pang of fever press her down again.

She took a seat at the top of the stairs following the slanting of the roof to the left until her head came to rest against the wooden handrail. It took great power to hold back her tears, but she emerged victorious from the struggle. She sighed and saw Kakuzu watching her in silence.

"We need to talk", he said waiting for her to move.

Deidara fitted her body closer to the handrail, folding the towel around her forearms, and indicated him to sit next to her with a tired expression.

He cursed inwardly at her proposition, but he complied nonetheless: climbing steadily, one step at the time. She liked how the stairs vibrated under his weight and, as he sat on the same level, next to her, she shuffled more to the left trying to make more room. Kakuzu was broad and only now she realised it.

"How are you feeling?" He asked noticing the blood that was, by this point, all over her clothes, all over her pale skin.

"Why?" She wondered about his motives.

"When I patched you up, you had lost a lot of blood and I had to give you some of mine", he explained in a flat tone, "We need to check if the transfusion was successful."

"What if it wasn't?" She was rubbing her forehead with her right hand.

"You _will_ die", he exaggerated.

"Hm", she voiced under her breath, "We wouldn't want that, right?" She looked at him holding her chin in her shoulder her eyes appearing big, blue, and almost innocent.

"He won't apologise" –she could tell by his intonation that he was almost sorry for what happened– "And it's better if you let it go." Almost.

"You know what?" She was angry and positively fed up with the miser and hence she was getting louder. "Screw him and screw you! I am done with this."

She stood up and turned to face him, a hand on the handrail the other holding the towel against her hip. On the spur of the moment she decided, however, to give him one last chance. "What do you want from me, hm?"

"I already told you", he replied his eyes stiffening, his voice starting to rise as well.

"No", she corrected, "What do you really want from me? What requires me to be healthy and do all those missions with Sasori, hm? What am I and that man" – she pointed in Hidan's direction – "too stupid to understand that you cannot tell us? It's so disrespectful! And whether you see it this way or not, we _are_ on the same level."

She was now bent slightly forward in his direction looking at him from a higher angle.

"I need you to eradicate a village", he said monotonously.

She shook her head: "Ehm, that doesn't explain why you were fighting Sasori this morning, does it?"

It was his turn to stand up and as he did, he blocked almost all the light that came from the room behind. The little light that did reach her seemed to concentrate around his head and shoulders, like an unfitting halo.

"Listen, Deidara" -his voice shook the walls, or so it seemed- "You may boss the puppet around, but you won't do the same with me."

"No, I tend to mop the floor with rag dolls like you."

He slapped her without hesitation, her head flying to her right and blood flowing from her nose. She faced him again and smirked.

"Are we feeling like a man yet?" She provoked him.

He went to slap her again, but she blocked his hand with the towel, going in for a punch against his neck. Kakuzu intercepted her punch with his palm and held it in place. He pulled her towards him twisting her wrist until her head was thrown back for her to keep their eye contact while he looked straight down into her eyes.

"I hope you die, princess", he hissed, "I hope that bastard snaps one day and kills you for good on his second try. And trust me, he will!"

He let her go and she fell backwards coming to a halt in Sasori's arms in the meantime hugging the bloody fabric of the towel for dear life. Kakuzu turned and met Hidan's angry frown.

Zetsu had entered the hall to see what the ruckus was all about and sighed silently, irritated by everyone as they weren't going on with their respective missions. He saved the situation by reminding them on a neutral tone: "The police office opens tomorrow at seven in the morning. Maybe you should go over your plan with everyone tonight, Sasori, Kakuzu?"

Leaning against Sasori's wooden chest only angered Deidara more and she pushed against him. A long clot of blood escaped from her nose from the pressure she put in the movement.

"Yes, maybe we should", the puppeteer said keeping an eye on the girl. He felt repulsed finding himself to be the new bearer of the towel.

She went in the workshop where she grabbed her travelling pouch tying it on her lower back and pushed Zetsu aside slipping under the front desk.

"Oy, Deidara", Hidan shouted, outyelling every other noise.

She exited the pharmacy without hearing him.

"Was that necessary?" Kakuzu sighed exasperated.

"What was that about me snapping?" Hidan kept his voice clear and loud.

"Like now?" Kakuzu shouted louder. He stepped up and eyed his younger partner down. "You are going to be put in your place, like princess just was. Start respecting this organisation and us" – he pointed back and forth between him and Sasori – "who struggle to keep us safe and operating." He tilted his head and narrowed his gaze, his tone dropping drastically: "Now, you can stay here and be part of the bigger picture, or continue to act like a princess. You have this choice, so choose carefully, boy."

...

She was running. She was running faster than her legs actually could. Away from that staircase, away from those men. It had started to rain heavily and it felt good to let the water soak her down. She was barefoot and the few stones that pierced her soles gave her the push she needed to keep running. And she ran. She ran down to the main road, racing against a few ox-pulled wagons, she then sprinted through a family neighbourhood, then down a few serpentines. The mud and water let her glide faster, she even hugged a tree and a wall in perfect collisions, tumbling like a drunkard to the ground. She rose up and kept at it pushing herself further. The rain was now a broken film of white and greys. Her almost closed eyes couldn't distinguish any shapes or people. She ran into some laundry that was hanging outside to dry, the fabric slapping her face and clutching to her body. It didn't take long until she dropped to the ground incapacitated. She struggled with her limitations. Yet the audacious sheets palled upon her with more force.

She screamed. She screamed her heart out feeling more blood erupt in her throat. Her yelling was soon replaced by sobs.

"Alone, I'm so alone", she wailed hysterically.

"Fucking shut up!" She didn't.

Hidan kneeled next to her and cut the fabric holding her down with his kunai. He watched the rain smear the blood on her face in endless explosions as it fell on the skin. Her veins were huge popping indiscreetly around her temples and her throat. Her eyes were shut close and her neck was bent backwards rigidly, fixed in one position. Her hair was in the mud and she kept crying with a long, ugly mouth, lips pressed tightly against each other. She wasn't breathing. He clasped her face in his hands holding her in a seated position by pulling on her head.

"Deidara, breathe", he commanded, "Breathe for fucking's sake!"

Her eyes went big and he could see annoying red framing her blue orbs. He hugged her looking left and right trying to figure out where they were. She was burning in his arms breathless, spasming uncontrollably. His eyes, much like hers, went big and he felt overwhelmed by the entire situation.

"Help", he murmured just for himself. He needed to get help.

"Come on, baby! We are fucking doing this!" Hidan put one arm under her legs, reaching around her back with the other as he felt her hand pushing against his chest. He looked her in the eyes. She was frowning gravely.

"Not now, you fucking bitch! I need to take you to the fucking hospital. That's my fucking mission for today. Get over your fucking self!" He shouted, angrily.

Hearing the word mission, Deidara searched for all her strength and repeatedly punched against his chest. He was totally unimpressed.

…

He pushed the doors to the hospital open with his back, pivoting expertly as he entered the waiting room. People, dozens of people, populated the benches and floors. Children, elderly people, adults, rich and poor, all civilians.

Hidan positioned Deidara better against his chest and made his way to the front desk pushing everyone aside.

"Hey, boy! Everyone here has an emergency", a tall middle-aged man red-flagged. He ignored him.

"Did you hear me, boy?"

"Call me boy one more time, old man, and I'm impaling you, fucking bastard", came Hidan's abrupt comment.

"My wife is having a heart-attack right at this moment, who do you think you are?" Voices joined in protest.

"You! Lady! Fucking nurse", Hidan yelled at the receptionist, hitting the desk with his foot.

"Boy, get to the back of the line!"

The nurse spoke too: "Sir, I'm afraid you will have to move to the back of the line!"

Hidan placed Deidara on the reception desk starting to move to a staff-only room and entered it shamelessly. The nurse followed him as she spoke: "Sir? Sir, please!"

The room was a lounge for nurses apparently. There were loft beds next to all walls and a table with few chairs in the middle. Three nurses sat there drinking coffee while others were sleeping.

The one that had followed Hidan grabbed his arm and warned him: "You need to leave otherwise-" She fell silent. He had pulled two rolls of cash out of his pockets.

"A bit wet", he said sternly, "But it's still 100,000."

She eyed the money then corrected her thoughts: "It is illegal to bribe a-"

Hidan stuck the money in the pockets of her overalls and hissed: "Failed blood transfusion. 20 hours ago. Fever, heavy blood loss, bearly breathing. Get on it, now!"

…

Hidan sat in a comfortable chair, not a wooden, simple one, but an armchair in a big spacious room. He would never tell Kakuzu, but he knew money had done the trick. Deidara was lying on a bed before him hooked to a bunch of fancy devices that beeped and buzzed continuously, but not disturbingly. Through a big window the outside world presented itself. Cold, rainy, uninviting. It was about five in the morning and the sun started to rise. Hidan had turned a small lamp next to the bed on. The room was filled with a slightly orange artificial light that mingled with the natural greyish one. Hidan was cold, but he felt relaxed and pleased to have remembered to bring his scripture book with him. Page after page, he devoured the words. The door, however, slid open and had him look up.

"Mr. Okada", the doctor who had intercepted them earlier had a very childish voice that Hidan did not like, "I am sorry to disturb you and your sister, but we really need to fill out the forms now."

She handed Hidan some papers he could refuse earlier. Not anymore.

"I- I-", he faked a stutter, "I came here in a rush, I haven't gotten a chance to grab any of our papers." He leaned into the armchair, stretching ostentatiously and rubbing his face with both of his hands. During this whole charade he made sure to flex his muscles.

"Your shirt", the doctor noted, "It is torn." He hadn't changed from the day before.

"We-", he swallowed, hard, "we were ambushed. I-" He rubbed his fingers against his lips staring blankly ahead then dropped his head with a sigh. As he prepared to speak again, the doctor had made her way silently to his side.

Jackpot.

"Take your shirt off."

"No, it's really nothing", he refused her, not having to pretend his cockiness, "I am used to it."

"I insist", she grabbed and tugged it, bringing her face closer to his. He chose to ignore that attempt for now and dismissed his shirt to the ground.

"There is no wound", she spoke as she glided her fingers over his abdomen. Hidan chuckled thinking that someone in his position who was actually suffering from internal damage might just have to live with the pain. Worst doctor ever.

"I told you, I am used to it", he spoke as he rested his forehead against hers and kissed her. She unpinned her hair and started stroking him through his pants. Hidan grunted in pleasure and bit her lip. She pulled them off and pushed him down on the armchair.

"Mm", she voiced on the same tone a child would admire a candy store. Mouth open and …

"There we go, baby", Hidan whispered and grabbed her hair throwing his head back momentarily. He then started to examine her features. Big brown eyes, shoulder-length brown hair, and a broad face with full, rosy cheeks, no makeup, she looked like a child, like a doll. She stopped to take off her overalls. She had a sports bra on and simple cotton underwear that she discarded rapidly, eager to get back to him.

She straddled his hips and he started fondling her breasts, sucking them, the usual stuff. One hand explored the rest of her body. Upon a brief expedition he discovered that she appeared thin, but was actually rather chubby. Her muscles were not developed, and her back curved oddly in some places, like she had hunched a lot during her lifetime. She scratched at his upper body impatiently and Hidan laughed.

"I have more patients to go to, hurry!"

"Sir, yes, sir", he replied sarcastically and positioned himself carefully at her entrance. She lowered herself upon him still chuckling.

"Military jargon?" She raised an eyebrow as she started to ride him. "I will evaluate your performance carefully, Lieutenant Okada."

He muffled a groan between her breasts and replied concentrated on the fuck: "By this point" – he pushed deeper, faster into her, gasping– "you can call me Hidan, baby!"

She leaned over his chest, moaning as he pleasured her. She came sooner than he expected, so he made himself come by ramming her thoughtlessly.

She looked up at the clock and hastily dressed.

"Oh shit, oh shit!" He tossed her panties at her. "I forgot those!" She put them in her pocket, kissed him again and prepared to make her leave.

"Oh", she remembered, "Fill the forms out and leave them at the reception, Mr. Okada!"

"Will do."

He got dressed hating to put the dirty clothes back on. Outside had gotten brighter. He looked at the clock and it read six in the morning. They had to get going.

Firstly, he packed his book in his back pocket. Then he dropped the forms on the ground under the bed. The next move was to get them out of here.

"Simple", he murmured to himself as he imagined walking out pretending to lead her either to the bathroom or outside for some air.

Problematic was only the girl. He hoped she would wake up.

"Oy, blondie", he spoke in a normal voice then decided to sing, "Deidara!"

She opened her eyes slowly.

"Good morning, sunshine! Meet your fucking saviour", he boasted with a smirk.

"Saviour?" She lifted a brow. "By this point, I believe, I can call you Hidan."

"Damn right you can", he whispered taking a seat on the bed right next to her, "You liked that?"

She blinked twice, again, slowly.

"I just underwent a difficult medical pro-"

"You liked eet!" He leaned over her.

His smirk turned to a grin, the grin, to a full on laughter. She was blushing, but was still frowning at him.

"I am angry at you", she said flatly.

He too grew serious and his gaze became dangerous: "I cannot explain to you how little I fucking care about that. I have completed my mission, I brought you here. I figured, you may need help getting out." He picked a lock of her hair and started twirling it between his fingers. "If you piss me off, I will go back home, and tell the others you died!" He chuckled.

She finally smiled, maniacally though, and got up, forcing him to back off. A hiss strained her usual voice. It made her sound like someone else:

"Good fucking riddance!"

* * *

Hello everyone! I thank you wholeheartedly for reading this story. I hope you also enjoy it :3

Much love,

GRaff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


	12. In Song

The rain drummed against the metal garage door letting an icy metallic muffle fill the workshop. It had gotten colder all of the sudden and Zetsu couldn't simply blame it on the actual temperature.

Kakuzu and Sasori were talking the way two civilised men would exchanging ideas, going over details, predicting outcomes, estimating costs, and ignoring him completely. From the pharmacy he could hear the customers growing impatient.

The puppeteer was on the floor at his low table fixing something meticulously. Kakuzu was leaning against a higher one, reading through some papers. The white man was frowning at the miser and would do so until he noticed him. He didn't, so Zetsu spoke, interrupting the concentrated conversation of the two.

"That was your idea of sharing the plan?" He sounded judgemental.

"They won't even be involved", Kakuzu explained, "Why bother? I am sure Hidan would throw a tantrum if we would let him in on it."

Sasori knew that the white man had a point. They would probably have hunter-ninjas on their trail afterwards and it was always useful to know what kind of trouble you found yourself in. However, he didn't trust Deidara with it either.

"I agree", he lied, "It's better to just do it ourselves. If you follow through with everything, we will be fine, Zetsu."

"I know the higher-ups won't be pleased with this", came a truthful observation.

"But they don't need to know about it. We just need to solve the problem", Kakuzu closed the discussion by leaving the room.

Soon, the three members found themselves occupied with their own business. It had truly gotten colder.

…

"Hidan!"

When had he gotten here?

"I'm sorry, what?"

A woman was talking to him. Right? The woman from before, Deidara's doctor. She was speaking a lot and he found it hard to concentrate. When did he leave her room? When had he gotten dressed after … Did it really happen? It was so quick. Too quick for a mature woman.

Under the incandescent light of the corridors he could now see her wrinkles and small folds on her neck that threatened to appear soon. She had put something on her lips and was chewing gum that was contrasting white against her slightly yellow teeth. A small, silvery tag read her name: Dr. Ueno.

He tried to understand what had happened. Details were missing from his memory and he found it hard to place the events that had occurred during the last twenty-four-and-something hours.

"Excuse me, I am …" He was truly trying to follow what she was saying, but he was distracted by the avalanche of information that crushed him rapidly. Suddenly, he could visualise the layout of the hospital and he looked left and right just with the corner of his eyes counting the number of rooms. In his mind he noted the strollers, the shelves, the nurses that were busy around him. He smelled chlorine and heard the sound of rubber screeching against rubber as some people were running. Linoleum floors, orthopaedic shoes.

"You must still be in shock, Hidan!" How did she know his name? This was bad. "I was saying your sister will be under my personal supervision for the next few days. She has suffered a lot of internal damage, but she is stable now. We healed her previous wound too" –she shook her head looking down– "But you can tell me about that one later." She quickly caressed his chest, slightly embarrassed at her gesture and added: "You can go home, get some rest, and also bring your insurance papers. I hope you filled out the forms."

"Right, those", he remembered. He remembered everything. He had to take her with himr because they couldn't leave any trails behind. This woman now knew too much already. "You forgot to leave me a pen!"

"Oh", she mouthed labially, "Here you go!" Finally, he could understand what pissed him off about her. She was well into her forties and still tried to imitate looking cute. He grabbed the pen, a pink one and rolled his eyes under closed lids.

"Thanks", he said, "Also, do you want to grab some breakfast?"

She looked at her wrist and sighed.

"I have a break in half an hour. Want to meet in front of the hospital?"

"Sure", he said with a grin. He hoped it was convincingly flirtatious because he felt drained of almost all energy. She smiled in return, so he took it as a confirmation of his success.

Something around her wrist started to pulse and glow and she darted off without saying goodbye. Did she have that on earlier?

"Fuck", Hidan cursed letting his head hang. What had happened? He looked around trying to retrace his steps, but to no avail. His ring too, he had left behind, somewhere. If Dr. Ueno was walking around on this floor and she was responsible for Deidara, maybe he could find the girl's room easily. He looked around peeking through the small glass rectangle in the doors. Around a corner he found a dark room. He stared at the inscription on it: 'Dr. Ueno - Director of the Cardiology Dept'.

"Damn", he mumbled to himself. He had never banged someone this successful before. "Not bad, Hidan!"

He kept searching for Deidara and found her at last. Before entering her room he took a moment to think about how far away he had gotten from her and what had transpired between them. He eyed her through the glass; she looked a bit hazy and slightly bluer. She felt his presence and observed him from her seated position. Hidan sighed and opened the door.

It was time to feel confused again, he assumed. The room was so different. It wasn't big as he remembered, it was small. The armchair was closer to the bed. Had there always been that table in the corner next to the window?

"No?" Deidara's voice drew all his attention. She was just like he remembered her. Blonde, blue-eyed, and pale. And sassy. He would have smiled had he found the energy to switch emotions again. Hence he remained confused. "Hm?!", she questioned again, "I cannot reschedule my death as quickly as you change your mind!" –she leafed through an imaginary agenda, pursing her lips– "Does next … Tuesday! sound good to you? I have a window at eleven in the morning."

He made his way to her bed and compared it to the armchair that was now shadowed by his standing. The bed was white and clean, warmness emanating from the current inhabitant, the chair: green and wet. Pursing his lips just like her he thought about how it had been possible to fuck there. Just technically, it seemed very complicated. He imagined he must have sat on the very edge of the chair, resting his shoulders on its back. That way her knees could fit in between his hips and the arm rests. Oddly, now that he had visualised it, he found nothing exciting about his earlier achievement. He wanted to sit down, but at that moment the armchair would come after the floor if he had to choose.

Again, he looked at Deidara who was now watching him calmly. He let a breath go of which he wasn't aware he was holding back and took the bed. He observed as her feet had come from under the covers finding her toes to be weirdly cute. She reminded him of a fruit worm in a big, juicy cherry. He laughed at her.

"I have to wait here for twenty minutes", he explained resuming his initial detached attitude, "When I am finished with Mrs. Doctor, we leave."

She leaned back in her huge pillow yawning, he took out his book and started reading.

"What is that, hm?"

"What is-", he repeated clearly annoyed, "Just the best fucking book ever written?"

"Really? Read out loud", she invited out of sheer boredom.

Hidan took his time trying to pick out one of the lectures from his script. He settled on a page closer to the beginning and held the small book carefully in his hands:

"Broken skies of blood and blades

Uniting as a chapel's dome,

A mere comparison to chaos-

And restless ghosts who know no home,

Carriers of rusty spades.

Shadow-drenched waters baptize

What's left 'sides bodies to possess.

As reflections lean over the edge-

At last, a withering mouth can confess

The truth, its only rescuing demise.

Staring at those frozen seas

My heart learns how to sing their ode.

They seem so tranquil, yet too morbid.

I jump- whilst falling, I corrode,

As the light abruptly flees.

My mind acts blindly, forlorn,

But as I sink it shan't tire …

Midst kisses of the flooding waters-

And as chaos turns to fire,

I will find myself reborn.

...

"I forgot my old farewell.

To think it seems so futile now …

I step on soil anew to once more soil my soul.

Again to life itself I bow

Drunken after heartbeat's yell.

...

"Many winters had me torn

And once more I am staring down.

As always, ghosts take me by the hand …

Black waters welcome me to drown

And again have me reborn."

He kept reading in silence, just for himself. Deidara eyed him thinking about his poem assuming it was his bible and wondered how he had not mentioned the name of that god, his god, Jashin. Not even once.

"Immortality, hm?" She looked at her hands and spoke softly: "There is a story back home, in the mountains, similar to that."

Hidan turned to her, prompting her to speak. His curiosity had been stirred. He watched her sigh and for a brief moment he thought the walls had closed in on them. The cold room seemed a little warmer.

"What is it", she asked as he waited, "Oh, you want to hear it?" Chuckles reached him as if breaking a trance. "Hidan, what are you up to?"

Back to his old self, he closed his book and packed it away.

"I'm gonna stab a bitch!"

* * *

Hello everyone! Thank you for reading :3 And don't worry, we suffer in unison for the layout of the poem. It's poopy.

As always: much love and many hugs,

GRaff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


	13. Infiltration

Most criminals usually stir away from police offices due to their antagonic relationship with their workers. Not the Akatsuki. The Akatsuki didn't care that right now they were facing a big, fat enemy, namely: the Kumogakure police. It wasn't because they considered themselves much stronger. If anything, they learned to treat all enemies cautiously. In their eyes, however, the police was just as big a felon as they were.

The plan was simple. Initially, Sasori's goal was to check, if the money that had put them on the go for the past two months had a double function: a test for the Tsuchikage and his morals, and a subtle tracking device for their organisation.

Kakuzu had let him in on his little secret. The puppeteer took it as an apology and accepted it gladly. They knew that both those functions had been fulfilled. Now, their goal was to demonstrate that it was indeed the Raikage that had planned this. They would go with Sasori's original plan then monitor the village with Zetsu to see what happens. They estimated that a reaction to the news within three hours –be it either through military intervention or simply by communicating the discovery– would confirm the Raikage's immediate involvement in the matter. The longer it took him to intervene the further he fell on their suspect list. A simple calculation based on the data they had gathered showed them that it would take the information about half an hour to reach the Kage, he would then need about one hour to assemble and discuss the matter with a council and take action. Three hours was a good limit.

Kakuzu was posted outside the police station, camouflaging himself into the surface of a giant rock. From there he could observe the traffic of shinobi that were patrolling and could sound the alarm. They had thought about using radios, but it was ultimately a police station, and did not want to risk having there frequency pick up on the cops' machines. He saw how the building was placed in the middle of some sort of square, surrounded by a very minimal park. Audacious, he found it, to have this big building placed in an open space when most other houses were crammed against each other. He took in the cylindrical shape of the construction and the one, two- four observations posts that formed an extended visual range. Again, Kakuzu had to sigh inwardly, not seeing how those posts could possibly do their work. First of all, even if multiple shinobi would be positioned in the towers, they could not cover all terrain with their telescopes. Also, the many trees that had been put as a park around the building obstructed their vision grately. For god's sake, he was just under their noses. He concluded that the whole deal with this building was to impress the public of the power and dedication of the authorities. He checked for his string to be still connected to the puppet master. He tugged on it thrice, waited, then he felt it pull against his arm thrice again. Everything was in place.

Sasori had infiltrated through the ventilation system following Zetsu around by using their rings to resonate. He had slimmed his body down for this task refusing to take quite a few of his extra scrolls with him. As he crawled through the corridors of the vents, he planted smoke bombs that he connected to each other, his chakra strings, and also Kakuzu, in case they needed to make a run for it. Incoming he felt three light pulls of the string. The test, he knew, to check if everything was ready. Sasori pulled three times on the string in response. He couldn't help but think of Deidara and how useful her clay birds might turn out to be if they actually had to escape. Nevertheless, he brushed the thought off.

The police station opened at 7.07. People had started appearing as soon as one hour earlier. Luckily for them Zetsu did not tire from staying put. He noticed how different their clothing was. All of them were civilians and all of them had very different social statuses. He spotted bare feet and high heels, leather shoes and hay flip-flops. The clothes too varied from simple flax shirts to cashmere sweaters and silk scarfs. As the doors opened people rushed inside. Some knew exactly what they had to do, grabbing a waiting number or running to their respective speciality report offices. Most people just paced angrily from one point to the other reading indications that had been posted randomly on walls.

Zetsu took a waiting ticket, number 27, and made his way downstairs where the normal report offices were. He had been assigned to the deputy inspector, Mr. Ohno.

The stairs he took led to the basement going straight down then left, then left once more. They were not quite narrow, about two arm-lengths wide and made out of stone. The handrail was made out of simple, painted metal. The man in front of him came to a halt and he too had to stop somewhere in the middle of his descent, captive between the floors. He looked up and saw that the nearest window was about two meters above him it was similar to the glass wall above their garage. They had decided that making use of his abilities might be too suspicious as to who they were, so they had to not use their abilities to their full extent. Zetsu's skill of passing through any type of surface was surely the best way to escape, but it would narrow the criminal circle down. Therefore, he was looking for ways to escape the way mediocre fighters would if needed.

The line advanced slowly. The men estimated that about thirty minutes had passed. Zetsu saw how people started to lean against walls, some women and a few elderly people had been offered a seat on the few chairs that were put next to the doors of the offices. In total, there were three of those esteemed chambers. One belonged to the general inspector, the other one to the deputy inspector, and the last one to their secretary. Zetsu had spied on them and knew that the secretary, Ms. Iwasaki, was the most efficient and attentive when working, trying desperately to surpass the men in higher function that were harassing her because of her big nose. Zetsu did not understand what could be wrong about a big nose as long as it was still a nose. He mimicked the lethargy of the people around him and sat on one of the stairs, the folder with his documents and papers in his hands. His view broadened, he was now able to see where the room from downstairs ended. He saw a ventilation hole in the ceiling, an old powered fan hanging uselessly next to it. Why would they need a fan if they had had centralised ventilation installed?

"People", he thought shaking his head.

Otherwise the room did not look promising. A clutter of shelves and boxes filled with paper and documents. A dirty, wooden floor that had lost its shine due to the heavy traffic. Shrivelled plaster on the walls that was about to fall off.

Zetsu pondered: "Moistness? How did the plaster shrivel if they had ventilation?"

"Could you move it?" A beefy man pushed him with his knee in the back. "I mean sure lounge around for all we care. I'll just trample you to death."

Standing up he saw quite a few people staring annoyed at him. He followed the line without answering. His thoughts back to the plaster.

…

Hidan had found the hospital's cafeteria and bought two coffees and two sandwiches. By the time the cashier had prepared everything, he calculated that he was about five minutes late. He paid and made his way to the front of the hospital where he was supposed to meet Dr. Ueno.

She was waiting for him, still in her scrubs, smoking a cigarette.

"I've been told those kill", he said to her smirking like an arrogant teenager that he really wasn't anymore.

Dr. Ueno frowned at him fluffing her cheeks, looking like a sweetly angry mouse. She turned her cigarette between her fingers and she offered it to him. He leaned into the filter and took one deep smoke closing his eyes.

"Fuck", he exhaled calmly, "It's been a while." He kissed her on the lips, tackily, as he got some of her lipstick on his lips and tongue.

"You already bought food?" She sounded impressed.

"Yeah", he smirked again, "I thought we might enjoy the fresh air" –he eyed her cigarette evidently – "then maybe we could power up" –he lifted the paper bag with the sandwiches and the coffee– "then maybe we could go over the moves from last night" –he kissed her again– "In some privacy."

She looked him dead in the eyes and tossed her cigarette on the ground. He just dwelled in his smug attitude contemplating how ironic it was that he would impale a cardiologist through her heart.

"Mr. Okada", she said on a serious tone, "I am not sure what you're getting at". Her arms crossed in front of her chest like those of a spoiled little brat. She then opened one eye and grabbed the food and coffee that he still held onto and threw them in a trash can. Something about that made him very uneasy and he remembered the smell of shit and fried food.

"In my office, young man, now!" She commanded a fierce look in her eyes and started pushing him back towards the hospital.

…

"Next", came a shout from behind the door to the left, the office of deputy inspector, Mr. Ohno.

Zetsu stepped in. Taking his hat off and bowing slightly. He was forced to notice a thick smoke lingering in the air. It was so thick that you could have cut a piece of it out with a knife.

"Hello", he said waiting to be instructed, to sit down, to present his ID, to explain the case, to offer any insight, to be promised something, to leave.

Mr. Ohno eyed the appearance of Mr. Murakami for just a second and turned back to a register that occupied his workplace. He was filling in some blanks. It seemed to Zetsu that his faked body was surprisingly normal to have earned such a disinterested look.

Mr. Ohno was a normal looking man, with short black hair that seemed to have greyish patches all over it. He seemed young, yet very old at the same time. As if old age had come from the lack of sleep and drug dependency. Zetsu looked at the many plastic cups of coffee in his bin and his full ashtray. The deputy went for another little puffer and he lit it with a match tossing the burnt wood somewhere behind him. He looked so overwhelmed it seemed comical.

Zetsu decided to try his luck.

"Officer Ohno, sir, maybe you should quit. This smoke is killing all of us!"

"Sorry about that", the man responded sincerely, "But there's nothing I can do to make it better." He straightened his uniform and coughed. "Other than stop smoking, that is …", he added scornful at his own actions.

"At least air this place, will you?"

"No, no", he shook his head, "Can't do that."

"Oh?" The other man kept writing. Zetsu persisited: "I saw you have ventilation."

"Not working", Ohno replied then closed the register and looked at him, "Now, what can I do for you?"

Mr. Murakami played his role in calm distress as he handed him his folder and explained: "I believe one of my suppliers might be working with the Akatsuki."

Ohno went over the evidence he provided and over his report of the situation and huffed a short laugh.

"You don't say?"

That moment the door flew open and a massive figure towered behind Zetsu's back, his voice loud and raspy. The white man was sure the plaster had fallen off the walls.

"Ohno, what did I tell you about the officers? I want one of them on each principal street. I have merchants complaining about petty thieves, plus a platoon from Konoha is coming. I want that problem fixed by then!"

"Maybe if we took care of the one mobilising those thie-"

"Are you defying me? OHNO!?"

Zetsu had not turned around, but he could recognise the voice anywhere. Oh, no, alright.

…

Rock hard.

They entered her office and she immediately undressed. By this point Hidan was so through with this woman. He couldn't help but wonder how long it had been since she had slept with a man. No one is this excited under normal circumstances.

Nevertheless, he had to pay attention to his surroundings so keeping up with her was difficult. Her office was a small room, with no windows, apparently a built-in space after the initial construction had been finished. It seemed designed in a way to accommodate those people who spent multiple days in a row at work. It had a closet that was too big for the room, a bed, probably worse than those in prison, and –obviously- a desk, a broad, sturdy desk in the middle of this chaos. Hidan saw no chair. Frankly if there had been one, it could have only been on top of the table. Papers and books were laying on the ground among dirty clothes. The air smelled a bit like sweat and dust. She seemed to be the type of lonely, desperate person. What a perfect pray.

"How long is your break?" He asked as he hugged her trying to still her, trying to figure out if he had time for a quickie before he impaled her. Straight before him was a clock. 6.50.

"Oh", she looked at her watch bringing her arm up behind him, "You have an hour."

He purred his lust in her ear as he brought her upon the desk his hands supporting her legs. She gasped at his strength and hummed in his chest. As she sat there trying to cling to him he took off her pants noticing that she hadn't put her underwear on. Hidan jammed two of his fingers in her trying to keep her still. She screamed while he pressed hard against all the raw flesh he could feel then turned his attention towards her pants, picked them up and started twirling them around into a thick rope.

"Let's see if you fucking like me now", he smirked pushing the middle of the twisted material into her mouth, then wrapped it around her head, and wrists tightly. She seemed uncomfortable her skin getting caught in the material as he wrapped it around her, pinching in an unexpected way. He took his clothes off completely and used his pants to tie her legs together. Finally, he ripped her blouse open leaving it to hang loosely over her shoulders. Hidan kissed her breasts, and belly, and navel. He then kissed his fist, looked up sending a prayer to his God. He prayed for power, blood, and just this one time he prayed for light. Then he punched her with all of his might in the stomach. She screamed, but it was barely audible.

Hidan pierced his palm and let the blood drip to the ground drawing the circumscribed triangle mechanically without thinking. One part of the circle was drawn over her legs and desk dripping slowly to the ground.

"Let's not move, shall we?" Her eyes were closed firmly and her skin was turning red and pruple, from pain and fear. Adrenaline started coursing through his body and he felt the need to yell, but he couldn't risk it. Not here. Yet release he needed.

He brought her on her stomach letting just her upper body rest on the table. Her feet were hanging bent slightly and resting into curled toes. The kunai in his hand he put over his heart and nudged it inside him until he felt it fixed in the bone. He leaned over her biting firmly into her fat shoulder. This time she didn't scream anymore, her crying simply persisted. He sucked the blood that emanated from the wound and he felt his fleshy aura change. His skin turned dark and he considered himself to be ready. His hands were under her shoulders as he kept biting into her skin. He sheathed himself inside of her and took his time to pick up his pace and intensity. Once he deemed the pleasure he felt to be ready to confront the immediate pain, he thrust his upper body into hers, the kunai impaling his heart. He felt her tense up and go limp under him within the following second. His vision too was going blurry from the pain, immediately paralysing his body. He bit through her shoulder as to wake himself up and nearly chocked on the meat in his mouth. He coughed violently, barely standing up. Not knowing what to do, he spit the contents of his mouth over her ass removed the kunai, and then sat down, naked, in the middle of Jashin's symbol. His mind flashed a pair of eyes before him. And as he drifted into unconsciousness Hidan thought his god was watching him through light blue complete.

…

What were the chances of the Raikage visiting the police station that morning? The three Akatsuki members suppressed their chakra even further. As Sasori saw that he entered the office where Zetsu was, he pulled on the string connecting him to Kakuzu four times. Danger. The miser pulled back four times in confirmation.

"Mr. Raikage, sir, I believe you might want to read this." Ohno handed him the file that Mr. Murakami had presented him.

Sasori prayed that Zetsu had learned how to react human in such situation. Deidara came to his mind again. He knew she would have handled this best. If he had lips, he would have bitten them down with his teeth. Then he remembered his ring. Desperately yet still cautiously he sent her multiple signals and kept sending them hoping that she understands the message. Hopefully, everyone was agitated enough to not detect his activating energy. By this point, they were depending on luck.

"Akatsuki? HERE?"

"I believe so", Murakami voiced slightly animated by the Raikage's presence.

"IWASAKI", he shouted and she appeared a messy bun of practiced composure, "Babe, have this invoice checked for authenticity and then send a platoon to investigate the pharmacy."

"Sir!" The woman disappeared into thin air.

Two pulls on the string. Retreat.

* * *

Hello everyone! Thank you for reading. :3

Much love,

GRaff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


	14. Another Ending

When Hidan came to his senses, the clock on the wall had barely spun around its axis. 7.35.

"Fuck", he mumbled, slowly lifting his upper body, "Fuck, fuck, FUCK!" He pressed his hand to his chest feeling the wound fresh and spurting blood when he moved. The pain was unbearable and his body begged to be released into slumber again. However, he knew better than to indulge it.

He looked at the mess he had created. The woman was still bent on the desk that was now dripping blood from the edges like a dark, lugubrious waterfall. The light that came from some neon in the ceiling seemed to flicker a bit when he had finally noticed it. It eyed him with white, aimed rays that seemed to follow him around. The way he sat he could see up her crotch, under the desk, on his left was the bed, on his right a very lonely plant that seemed to be drying in its pot. A draft of air entered under the door and hit his skin letting goose bumps form behind. His abdomen contracted suddenly and he felt vomit and blood making their way up his throat. He turned his head to the side and let the foulness splash on the floor. A growl ran over his damaged insides and he forced himself to a stand.

He took the sheets on the bed and tore them with his hands starting to wrap stripe after stripe of fabric over his chest. He then took his clothes and got dressed, so painfully slow. What bothered him most was the drying blood on his face and hands. Luckily for him, there was a water bottle next to the plant, connected to the roots through a piece of yarn. He could not understand what it was for but he grabbed it and washed himself quickly, letting the droplets to dry on their own.

"Fucking move, ass", he roared at himself. Out of his pouch he took some explosive tags and placed three on the back of the doctor. He wiped his shoes against the mattress thoroughly and fast arms holding him somewhat up as they grabbed the edge of the desk. Looking one last time around he opened the door and left.

Colours tried to trick him, sounds doubled in his ears, while his body advanced numbly. To him this was the closest feeling to death that he could imagine. His right hand was flexed outwards, index finger pointed firmly. Initially, he had wanted to stretch his arm completely, but his mind dictated it would have been too suspicious. Now he was stuck with this in-between solution.

"Cha!" He felt pathetic. His feet led him back to Deidara's room and he was proud to have kept at least that much information in mind. As he entered he saw a nurse talking to the girl who was responding with a soft smile. He leaned against the doorframe watching them silently, Deidara turning her gaze to him when her dialogue partner started taking notes of the machines that tracked her patient's health. With her hand slightly lifted, palm downwards, she called him to her side. It looked as if she was digging in the air. He felt the edges of his mouth tug upwards and he moved next to her on the right side of the bed. She took his left hand and squeezed it and he put his right hand over both in response. Suddenly, she looked up at him disturbed finding his touch ice cold. She noticed how blood was dripping from his shirt and she stood a bit taller.

"Excuse me, ma'am", she addressed the nurse very politely, "I need to discuss something with my brother. Could we-"

"No problem sweetie, I'll check on you again in one hour. Keep this perfusion on this time, mmkay", she replied automatically as she kept taking notes and left the room without giving Hidan as much as one glance of recognition. Although he should have been grateful about that he wasn't used to the idea of women not noticing him. The sound of the door closing was all it took for the girl to jump on her knees and direct him to sit at the end of the bed in one smooth move.

"What happened?" She asked feeling terribly conflicted about the situation. It was evident that the wound was his own doing and that he was also shouldering the pain of his own stupidity, but she had liked it more when he was unconscious while he recovered. "Don't turn emo on me!" To her, his pained face was something very unusual. He kept his hands around her smaller one and was now pulling on it dragging her to the spot on the bed between his legs as his head fell to rest in the crook of her neck.

"The doctor", Deidara began, "You 'sacrificed' her, hm!"

He was breathing through his mouth at a normal rate which, again, didn't fit him in his current situation. "Yeah", he said as his shoulders pushed their bodies a bit to the front, then a bit to the back, in a very slow swinging motion.

"And now you are operating just a bit faster than an injured snail", she concluded as she removed her arm from his hold and fell back onto her blanket, into her pillows, bending her knees up and resting her arms on her stomach. The ceiling received a very angry look from her. Hidan seemed to have lost all balance and fell groggily on his back.

"I", he gasped for air, "I tagged her with explosive … tags."

"Mhm", she mused sarcastically, "Your mind must have malfunctioned just like your vocabulary right now. It's perfectly logic to impale yourself for her to die, so that you can blow her up. Genius!"

"Deidara", he whispered, "Let me sleep!"

"Nope", she interjected rather loudly, "We –actually: you need to get going, remember?" –he was turning towards her dragging himself closer and closer– "As far as I understood, I am disposable so practically you and I can just do whatever we want or have to" –he kicked his shoes off– "without taking each other into consideration."

He was supporting himself on his elbows, his head now between her ankles. She had new clothes on, a pair of shorts and a tank top made out of very thin material. He could see her dark pubic hair and he smirked, looking up at her, one eye closed. "New clothes?"

"Mine were too dirty to wash. They give these to patients who have very bad fractures."

"I see", he was now kneeling at her feet, "I see a lot."

"Hmpf, asshole!"

"Your wound, too, it's gone, huh?"

She strained her neck to look down at her abdomen. It seemed he was right. He used her lack of attention to lean between her legs in order to rest his head on her belly reaching his arms around her ribcage as to hold her in place.

"Uh, what are you doing?" She asked perplexed by his weird behaviour.

"Deidara", he whispered again, "Let me sleep …"

She could only see the top of his head, turned to her right. His weight was pulling at her inner thigh muscles, stretching them, but she didn't mind opening her legs more. The position was quite comfortable. Without realising it she had given into whatever was happening now. One very long sigh left her.

"You have one hour", she said patting his head lightly.

Surrounded by white … he liked the softness of his pillow, the warmness, the smell. Those strokes helped his eyelids fall shut. Sweet sleep, he welcomed gratefully.

…

It was on the twenty-first signal that the air went thin.

"There you are!" The Raikage roared and tried to grab Sasori's foot through the ceiling. He darted forward, sending his chakra through the thread to detonate the smoke bombs. Kakuzu too had been alerted. With a jump to the floor and by using kicks and punches to confuse the kage, the puppeteer managed to escape and make a run for it, sloppily up the stairs and through the window. People started to agitate and scream at the exploding smoke bombs, most paralyzing on the spot in fear or crunching to the ground succumbing to hysteria. The smoke was thick and impossible to see through.

Zetsu shifted in his place mimicking panic. Stress did, nonetheless, truly reach him unsure in which direction the situation might deviate.

"After him! He's one of their informants?" The kage ordered shouting as Ohno grabbed a device that let him warn the whole crew: "We have a shinobi on the run who escaped to the north of the building, glass wall, in between the basement and the first floor. He could be very dangerous!" The Raikage had already left after Sasori.

"They must have figured it out", Ohno explained, "That you had some data on them and wanted to assassinate you before you made a move, but he came too late!"

"Oh, no", Zetsu shouted, "Those bastards!" Then he remembered: "My daughter!" He flailed with his arms in the air, hitting the deputy a few times before grabbing his arms and shaking him in desperation. "My daughter!"

"Where is she? She's in danger!"

That was a very good question. He remembered Hidan being sent off after her. Maybe he had taken her to the hospital. Maybe.

"I don't know", he spoke the truth then kept lying, "Mr. Deputy, sir, my daughter! Save her!"

"I'm on it", he left the room and started speaking to the people waiting in the hall, "Please, head home! This is a crime scene and needs to be inspected" –then to Zetsu – "Just a moment!" With that he disappeared and left him behind.

The white man used this opportunity to pass through the wall, past the blocked door to their archive. Rapidly, he went for the section that regarded cases of national interest. He passed through another barricade. Onto the fourth shelf of the bookcase, number 20 and 1: a thick register titled 'Higher Initiatives'. If the Raikage had indeed ordered the mission to be completed, it would have to be here. He was facing with a seal that he couldn't break on his earlier inspections and broke it. An incredibly loud screech was released, some type of integrated alarm. He went through the pages to the date approximatively two months ago scanning as fast as he could through other missions including some regarding the two-tails. That bit of data he locked in his mind for another time. Then he proceeded to search for the case at hand. Within a couple of minutes he had found it, there, marked with a lot of red: 'Project Dirty Hands' Zetsu grinned and kept going through the book, looking for something marked with more red. One mission out of many caught his gaze, from three years ago: 'Blind Eyes', a mission to capture a Hyuuga. Perfect, he ripped the whole page out, put it underneath his skin and returned to the office. The hand signs flew before his eyes and he melted into his white form in concentration. It took about forty seconds to create a clone of himself out of some sort of molasses that separated from his skin, revealing nothing but the same substance. Immediately, a new Mr. Murakami had been created. Zetsu took one of the kunai Sasori had thrown earlier and cut the throat of his copy swiftly as to splash blood. Dead. He kept the weapon and made his leave the following moment through the walls and through the stone, back to the pharmacy.

…

Kakuzu slid slowly from his hiding place as he noticed many people evacuating the police building through the smoke. He used a simple technique to fake his appearance, now he looked like a thirty-something man, with blond hair and brown eyes wearing a farmer's outfit. He used his chakra against Hidan's ring and felt it vibrate underneath his skin.

"That little piece of-", he cursed under his breath.

He then tried Deidara, again and again, trying to pin-point the signal. As he moved along with the masses he could hear people wondering.

"What is going on?" "An attack on the Raikage!" "You mean an attack of the Raikage!" "Yeah, he was so angry! Maybe he fried his employees for revenge!" "Haha, right, smells like bacon!"

No mention of the Akatsuki? Just then he felt the resonance of Deidara's ring. Luck might still be on their side. He rushed in her direction.

…

Hidan was awoken by a weird vibration on the nape of his neck that seemed to never stop. Yet he ignored it. Until, a few moments later he felt it again, and again, getting stronger. Still, half asleep he reached for it and found a hand. He was coming to his senses. It was Deidara's hand. Deidara's hand resting on his neck. He took it in his.

"What the-", he started getting up and was shocked to see the position they were in. She was still sleeping attempting to turn to her side as he removed his weight off her. The ring started to vibrate stronger and stronger. Who could it be?

He shuffled to the edge of the bed. Two things came to his mind. First off, he turned to look at the time. It was about 8.30 in the morning. Then he tried to figure out what he was missing. The older members had planned something for today, but they said it was no big deal. Why the sudden desperation? He smirked. Whatever the reason, they had screwed up. Again.

"You might want to be awake", he spoke to Deidara who was by now lazily yawing, "This is going to be fucking hilarious."

…

Back at the pharmacy, the white man was set on murder. Ninja were investigating carefully inside, from the outside a shinobi disguised as a citizen was guarding the place. He made his way indoors, stealthily taking care of the intruders downstairs. Those men should know better than to draw the curtains and block the generous light from outdoors. This was almost no challenge at all. He unleashed one of Sasori's traps, a fine metal wire at neck-height that surged the room and left the investigators headless. Upstairs he found three men ready to fight him, one ready to break through the glass wall and alert others. They were about to use their justu and abilities as another trap made the floor tilt to one side, forcing them to lose balance for a moment. In this moment, white clones erupted underneath each shinobi and held them still. Swiftly, they broke the men's necks.

Without loitering, Zetsu took Deidara's clay and few of Sasori's belongings from the workshop then disappeared in the mountain behind the building. A few seconds later the pharmacy exploded taking two neighbouring houses down with it.

"And that was that", he thought, an imaginary heart clenching tightly at some sweet memories.

* * *

Hello everyone! We are leaving Kumogakure, so rejoice. As always thank you very much for reading. I truly appreciate your consideration :3

Much love,

GRaff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


	15. Theft

"Yeah all you fuckers just behold! I'm flying up high, in the sky with my two favourite bitches in the world! Whoo-hoo!"

Flow. Hidan had a sick flow! Deidara laughed as she saw the madman ride one of her flying birds. The white animated creature had stretched its neck and soared all around at great speed. From afar it resembled a white blob with thin, papery wings, maybe some sort of mutant cloud. From up close, however, it looked like unglazed porcelain, it's surface the consistency of natural rubber. Hollow eyes, evident edges, a long neck, a long feathery tail and the beak of a sage-grouse. The man thought he was in full control of it, which wasn't true. Yet she didn't want to spoil his fun.

On a similar bird, she followed him, standing up in order to be able to search the land and sky for any enemies unobstructed by the constant flapping. Right behind her, Kakuzu was seated cross-legged, leaning the upper part of his body towards the very much unstable floor. If she weren't in process of punishing him, Deidara could have mocked him for hours on end.

"You are not holding me off your boyfriend for forever", the miser suddenly pointed out. Rolling her eyes, the girl let the bird flop just enough for him to grasp one of her calves. The minute after she had steadied the contraption, he released her. She wanted to point out to him how badly they screwed up, but in the last minute she and Hidan had decided to take the highroad and gave him the silent treatment. The poor old man had to deal with their smirking faces for two hours now.

"First off", he continued choosing to ignore the embarrassing moment, "You run off, then spend _way_ too much money on a bribe, you _let_ him give away information, a slip up which he has to redress. _Then_ you allow him to just be himself and complicate the 'cleaning' process even more with his retarded ritual" – another dip – "Easy! Now" –smirks– "After his invigorating preoccupations he wishes to sleep, you _let_ him sleep, and that is that?"

"Mhm", came a monotonous answer. She could have gotten angry taking into consideration the torment this man had put her through over the last few days. No, scratch that, over the last few months. All the secrecies. Yet there he was, sounding so pathetic. Maybe he was trying to get on her good side before they faced Pain. Maybe this was his way of apologising, by making fun of the situation. Maybe he was just trying to not piss her off.

After all, they were flying at approximatively ten kilometres above the ground and no matter how talented or powerful he was, not even Kakuzu could have survived a drop from this altitude. They were flying steadily through the crown of a very big cumulonimbus using the material of the cloud to hide themselves from the world below and from the even more drastic temperatures above.

"WHOOO, I AM ON TOP OF THE WORLD, BITCHES!"

"Does he not feel the cold?" Kakuzu thought out loud.

His teeth were clattering. Deidara's too. From the moistness in the air and the very low temperatures she had to hide her face in the broad neckband of her uniform. Her hair was flowing rigidly behind her having gotten stiff and white. Her face hurt the most when ice crystals attacked, but she didn't protest. To her the skies were magically abusive and mesmerising at the same time. A truly dangerous beauty, but a beauty nonetheless.

Hidan had undone his uniform letting the air hit his chest as he was flying, his Jashin amulet twisted somewhere above his head. Shouting. Yelling. Singing. He seemed unstoppable. A devilish shiver coursed through the girl's body at the thought of letting the bird he rode plunge to the ground. The question asked by her co-pilot, however, brought back the memory of the poem Hidan had read to her. Deidara pondered.

"Kakuzu, I was wondering" –the miser looked up in her direction– "Have you ever read a poem about rebirth?"

"Yes", he replied unsatisfactory, "Why?"

"Ok, let me try again", she mused, "Have you ever read a poem about rebirth of a solemn, sombre imaginary vision? With old weapons and jumping off cliffs and drowning in filthy black waters of the undead?"

"No – where are we?"

Deidara unveiled the scope over her left eye holding her hair away with the back of her hand as she was trying to adjust the zoom. She couldn't see anything.

"I don't know, but we must be somewhere over the Land of Hot Water", she reported professionally. The cold that had frozen its way down to her bones had broken her spirit just a tad.

"Bring us lower and try to find Yugakure, we can rest there", he offered, his tone nevertheless authoritarian.

They commenced their descent earning a bombardment of curses from Hidan who still didn't realise that Deidara was controlling his mount. Or maybe he did, but he chose to ignore it.

They were coursing significantly lower, letting the birds glide quietly in smooth loops as if they were traveling down a mountain path. Once the sky cleared she started looking for the village.

"It should be behind those hills", Kakuzu indicated. And he was right.

…

Zetsu and Sasori were sprinting in perfect sync with each other. They had lost their pursuers at some point in the mountains when the white man cloned himself and scattered throughout multiple paths as Konoha ANBU fighters.

The two were now headed towards the Land of Frost knowing that they would enter a village heavily supervised by both legal and illegal organisations. Stealth was always such a bother.

"Can you contact them?" Sasori asked.

"They are out of range apparently", Zetsu answered. Their rings were of no use.

Silently advancing through the unwelcoming territory they dreaded the idea of arriving to their default base without checking their story with the other party. They could cover the distance to Amegakure in five days as none of them needed rest.

"Pain, huh", Sasori said, "He will be certainly surprised."

"I believe so too."

The puppeteer seemed to remember something: his partner. Zetsu had mentioned that he met up with the rest to give her what she had left behind just like he did for him. How thankful he had been to receive his puppet collection. And still, something was amiss.

"Deidara, is she-", he began softly, then paused.

Any creature capable of thinking evilly would want to hear him finish that question. The white man waited in blissful and tormenting curiosity.

"How is she? Well, was, actually, when you met her?"

"She was screaming: 'Mah, baby' over and over."

"Was she that excited to see you, huh", came the puppeteer's confused answer.

"No, but she had hidden her clay under her shirt as Kakuzu and Hidan pushed her around in a wheelchair disguised as nurses."

"Amazing."

The sun appeared from behind its covers and shone brightly. It was warm and pleasant. The wind was just a breeze. A diffuse light blended all colours into perfect harmony. None of that mattered, neither of them cared. Their speed turned the surroundings into a muted two-dimensional screen.

…

"Is this some kind of fucking joke?" Hidan was pointing at the entrance to his home town subtly, his tone even and almost quiet.

He was wearing civilian clothing that they had obtained by stripping the wife of an obese farmer of her clean laundry. He had a grey oversized cotton hoodie on that made him look like a runaway teenager, the way it hung loosely around him, also being too long. Kakuzu went for a cotton tunic, doubling his mask with his headband as to better conceal his skin and also the scarred village emblem he usually proudly presented. Deidara simply dropped her coat, remaining in the white thin tank top she had been given in the hospital. They decided to keep the grey pants and standard shoes of their uniform on. They all had frost-bitten fingers.

Hidan looked like a child or at least very young. His cheeks had reddened from his temples up to the middle of his eyes making the little fat in his cheeks puff slightly. It seemed like he was mildly content with life. His lips were very patchy and bleeding in some spots. Generally, however, he had already healed from the scratches of ice.

"I have some business to see to", Kakuzu replied and started to advance suspiciously slowly towards the village. Usually, he'd be more respectful towards members of the Akatsuki when it came to their villages. There was this unspoken understanding between them that they wouldn't be assigned missions involving their respective villages. Regardless of their reasons for defecting, part of the reason they did leave was to never have to deal with that again. Mission specifics often forced them to go against this and sometimes –like now– they used it to put each other in awkward positions.

"Ch, whatever", Hidan retorted pulling the baggy hood over his head, "Fucking bastard!"

Deidara was about to let them go, when it suddenly hit her. The old man's actions all made sense. She went to Hidan and grabbed his arm.

"What the fu-"

"Do you have any money on you?" She looked him in his shadowed eyes and he suddenly seemed to have realised their problem too. Everything he had had, he used for the bribe. That was why Kakuzu had brought them to a village, a tourist village nonetheless, where everything was so much more expensive. The prospect of walking the streets did not sit well with the Jashinist, or with the artist.

"Fuck", Hidan spun on his heels and brought his arms to his hips, then he spoke again, "Do you know how to steal?"

Deidara started to walk in Kakuzu's direction, keeping a safe distance, Hidan followed her. His idea of indulging in petty crimes was so ridiculous to her at that moment, that she dismissed it without even bothering to tell him. Truth be told, he didn't want to have to put effort into this either. However, that would mean they would have to step on their pride and indulge the miser, approve of his methods, and let him win.

"This is one of those stupid 'You-_will_-learn-your-place' lessons, hm", she growled.

"He does this _all_ the fucking time", he added.

The silence that came from the usually loud younglings made Kakuzu smirk under his mask. He stopped in the middle of the road and turned to find them arguing silently, the girl gesticulating a lot her neck clasped from behind by the boy. Silly kids.

"What could be the matter?" He purred, "Also, have you thought about where to meet me later?"

They eyed him warily. Deidara wanted to laugh, unable to comprehend how the table had turned on them. She cursed at her own stupidity and bit her lip starting to bite down her smile.

"We don't know, there's so much to do", Hidan stated matter of fact, "So, where do you want to meet us afterwards?" His resolution was absolute: he wouldn't back down. Kakuzu was getting angry at his partner especially because he couldn't keep his word. Back in Kumogakure he thought he would have chosen to do what he had to do, what he was ordered to do, now he seemed to either ignore that deal, just to defy him, or to simply be inborn impertinent.

"I can find _her_", the miser replied, "We have rings. You on the other hand-"

"Me and blondie stick together!" He tried to close in on his opponent. The girl wanted to protest at that last statement because he was too full of himself, he simply squeezed her neck lightly then let her go, approaching Kakuzu, hands stuck in the pockets of his pants.

"Very well", the other man said and disappeared in the mass of people.

It was noon and they knew it as the hollows in their stomachs contracted. There were many people on the streets mostly tourists, Deidara recognised, from the mix of slight accents that surfed the air. Hidan started walking, grabbing into his pouch. The rustle of a few coins could be heard.

"Fucking dig too", he said and she mimicked his actions.

"I have nothing", she announced.

"What do you mean: 'I have fucking nothing'", he retorted, "You are fucking broke every time" – he stopped in his tracks, revelation hitting him – "Not to mention, you fucking owe me. You owe me big."

Her mouth opened then she shook her head. "I never carry money around. Master Sasori deals with this dirty thing." She felt insulted remembering the last bit of his remark and eyed him with determination: "I _will_ pay you back when we get to Amegakure."

"Ch! I don't fucking care about that", it was his turn to feel insulted, "I'm not like him" –he pointed backwards with his head– "But generally you cannot operate efficiently without money." Deidara closed her eyes and turned her head in embarrassment, he decided to let the matter go. "I have about 1,000 let's eat, then we'll see."

…

"Two men, you see them yet?"

Hidan referred to a group of four people, two couples, about forty years old. They were dressed simply, but she could see that they were wearing high quality clothes. All of them were chubby, especially one of the women. The men were slightly drunk given the redness in their cheeks.

It was still early in the afternoon. The sky was clouded and the temperature was rather low. The main street that they were observing had shops that slid their front walls to explode into the streets as terraces or food wending stands. People greedily assaulted everything that was offered. A chaos of hands and exchangeable goods made for a disgusting show. It was so easy to steal, he remembered.

It only took one push of an old man who was waiting in line for his fried food for Hidan to steal it as the cook handed it over the counter then turned to attend to an overheating pan. He then skipped to a terrace, winked at a girl, a teenager accompanying her parents on vacation, he assumed, taking her glass of white wine as she and her mother blushed feverishly.

Now they were sitting between two houses, apparently gourmet shops, one with a small outdoor extension, one with no evident effort to expand into the streets minus the orange tarpaulin that sheltered the windows from rain or sun. Hidan was sitting on a wooden box, back pressed into one shop his knees coming up to his chest in order to spare room. Deidara was sitting on a bucket she had turned upside down, leaning one shoulder into the opposite shop, her knees coming up to her chest in order to keep warm.

"I see them now", she replied as the men in question finally entered her view. Then she took another bite of the sweet, fried goodness in her hands.

"We keep an eye on them", he stated, his eyes following her every move getting tangled in her damp hair that had become puffy and curly at the ends, hanging over her left shoulder and masking her face from him. Again.

"Mhm", the girl affirmed now gazing into an empty space ahead.

He took a chug of the wine counting the number of times her chin moved as she chewed absent-mindedly on the same bite. When she finally swallowed, he nudged her with the foot of the glass.

"Wash that disgusting thing down", he said chuckling, "Actually wait" – he drank half of the wine remaining then put the glass in her waiting hand – "Once you get puree in it, nobody touches that shit anymore."

She took a sip then held the glass against her chest. As if awoken she then finished her food in two bites and took another sip, handing him back the glass. She was choking.

"Damn", she cursed, "That is some dry wine." He took the glass and finished their drink, then stood up and tossed their garbage behind them. The glass broke scaring off some cat that screeched loud enough for them to hear.

They entered the street heading in the direction of the two couples. Deidara hated the pushes and mild punches she was receiving remembering just how much she hated places like these. Hidan too seemed irritated, although his height made it easier to oversee the crowd and spot their target. Once he found them, he got closer to the girl and spoke loudly: "People come here for the hot springs, they most likely will go to one for dinner and to stay overnight, then we steal their money."

"Okay", she moused, trying to pay attention to him while fending off the tons of people. Suddenly, Hidan ran off between two shops jumping over discarded packaging and garbage. Deidara panicked and headed after him.

"Hidan!" She screamed. He didn't stop. Once they had made it behind a few rows of houses, the alley widened suddenly into a normal road. On the left and right there were simple, traditional houses with tiny front gardens. In plain sight Hidan had dropped to his knees holding something down. As she approached him, she could hear the sobbing of a child.

"You abusive asshole, let him go", she yelled at him over his shoulder looking down at a very pale, very thin boy, who was wearing dirty clothes that were, nonetheless, whole and very good leather shoes. The assaulter was working around his clasped hands and she noticed he was holding something.

"How did he-"

"It's what they are taught to do. Give it back now or I'll rip your fucking arms off, kid", he threatened. Deidara found his tone to be aggressive, but not really malicious.

"Please, sir, my brothers and sisters-"

"Yeah, have it very hard", he interjected, "But that's why you go for the fat ones." Finally, he twisted him around and snatched his pouch back. He stood up and fixed it under the hoodie, on his lower back.

"Lady, please, have mercy-"

"Kid, don't fucking piss me off", Hidan interrupted him yet again, "Leave before you get it."

"Hidan", Deidara mumbled. She had never been poor. Sure, she did not quite associate with money, always thinking it was below her dignity to consider sums. But she was disgusted to notice the lack of it in people's lives. From a very young age she saw how people's conditions could be denigrated in an instant when money wasn't there, how families got torn over financial issues, how people too would look at you if you couldn't manage it. Money, money, money. "Maybe we can-"

"No, we can't, and even if we could we wouldn't."

"Pretty lady, please, I'm hungry", the boy pleaded, his eyes getting moist just like hers.

"Come on, Deidara, now!" He posted himself in front of her and put an arm around her shoulders, turning her around and directing her towards the main street once more.

She felt him walking one step behind her. Feeling uneasy about what had just happened she decided to eye the buildings around them. They had taken an alley that went diagonally towards the end of the main road, in the direction they were initially headed. She wanted an explanation. Her mind couldn't figure out why the reckless, bloodthirsty, psychopath of a shinobi that was accompanying her could have been almost empathic for once in his life.

"Care to explain?" She couldn't face him, but she would have been ready to kill for a good reason. As if preparing to focus she untied her loose ponytail, brought all her hairs in place, and tied them firmly behind her head.

What was there to explain? Hidan huffed and she could feel the exhalation on the nape of her neck, slithering through her baby hairs and letting them rattle for just a second.

In an instant, she swung her left arm backwards, and aimed her full fist at his face. He caught it in his right palm barely blinking. Deidara's other hand went for the small bag of clay she had in her pocket, a mutant pair of teeth revealing itself in her palm, and chewing on the white substance with a fixated grin.

Hidan jumped back, drawing his scythe from a summoning scroll, he tossed at her face. Deidara saw him disappear with the tail of the floating paper and spit at it to move it out of the way. He had planted himself between the walls of the houses, drawing a loud shriek from a man who was taking a shower upstairs. The steam veiled him.

Deidara moulded six hummingbirds with the teeth in her palm and released them in Hidan's direction. He watched them carefully, jumping back and left a few times until they reached a small dumpster court between four buildings all of them having one ground floor and a taller attic. The girl had followed him, her birds too. He could see one of them and assumed the others shall be used to surprize him. She just stared at him.

"What the fuck, blondie?" As soon as the accusation was mouthed, she lounged at him rapidly aiming a kick at his temple. He used her momentum to make her tumble in the air and she landed a kick against his abdomen sending him flying into one big trashcan. The noise echoed and she could see a few workers looking at her, then at Hidan, but chose to ignore them.

Even this mild distraction was enough for him to move behind her and grab her right wrist, twisting it to an unhuman angle. She dropped to her knees and wanted to punch his groin. He jumped back, dragging her back against the pebbles on the ground. She bent her neck to look at him and yelled: "Katsu!"

One of the humming birds allowed a mountain of garbage bags to explode making him lose his balance. Seeing his grip tighten on her wrist, she sent another projectile at his feet letting in detonate with the same formula. He jumped back releasing her and sent his scythe flying in her direction. She let the tongue in her left palm lick at it leaving a trail of saliva on one of the sides as she appeared to dodge the weapon. Hidan pulled the wire that was connected to his scythe and it returned to him. Sloppily, he grabbed it and Deidara punched his hand, and tackled his other one with her whole body rendering him incapable of reaching for it again. With his free hand he packed her ponytail and started pulling at her hair unforgivingly. She yelped and started climbing up his calf in order to reduce the pain. Ultimately she ended on his back, as if they were ready to go piggyback riding, pulled his hood off, and bit his neck.

"Fucking bitch", he roared and pushed her against the closest wall again and again. The four other hummingbirds came in plain vision.

"You wouldn't-" She simply bit down harder. The small animated statuettes focused on him and came rapidly down. He closed his eyes in anticipation, but they just splashed against his face as molten clay. As a last effort he threw himself against the wall as hard as he could, feeling the girl release her bite and as they tumbled to the floor she let him go completely. He rested against her chest, his head on one of her shoulders. The white residue was still on his face.

In an attempt to tease her, he stated to mumble something as if he were speaking. Actually, he simply urged her to clean him.

"I know, right", she mocked him, "Beautiful weather we're having today!"

He pushed his elbows into her armpits making her protest at the odd sensation and pinched her hips painfully. Finally, she slapped both of her hands on his face and picked the clay away. She felt him relax again.

"Blondie, blondie", he said playfully, "What the hell was that all about?"

"Why were you so nice to that kid, hm?" She gripped his hair and forced him to look at her as much as was technically possible in their position.

"What? Wanted me to impale him?" He snickered noticing how serious she was about it.

Her blue eyes widened furiously and she pushed him off her, to the side, and left. He, too, jumped up, packed his scythe back in a scroll and sighed.

"Blondie", he shouted after her, "Oy!"

She was gone. He could, however, sense her chakra. Just now he noticed the multiple pair of eyes that had been watching them. Hidan smiled at them stupidly and ran for it.

* * *

Hei everyone! I am getting accustomed to fanfiction slang - I guess - and was tempted to take a Mary-Sue test. Deidara has been diagnosed as a healthy character which is nice, I suppose. I was shocked to find out that even Hidan did not make it as a Mary-Sue, despite the fact that I checked boxes regarding his physical attractiveness about a gazillion times. I wonder if I was objective enough :x

As always, thank you for reading and much love,

GRaff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


	16. Yugakure, At Home

So much had changed. First, Hidan was shocked to notice just how brightly the village shone at night. The streets seemed to be corridors of light, most houses were illuminated, streetlamps glistened warmly, antennas blinked constantly above everything. Everything was so much louder than he remembered, so much steamier.

The short houses had stayed the same, only they weren't plastered and white as they once were, but coloured and decorated with graffiti or small advertisements. Luckily, the tall trees would block some of the travesty. Apparently, in terms of architecture, most houses had shed the traditional sliding doors made out of leather and adopted glass walls. This would supposedly isolate the homes better and also appear more modern.

Yugakure had always been a tourist attraction even back in the day when they still operated militarily. But now it had prospered or so it seemed. Sadly, something had been lost in the process. Up ahead, to the south in outskirts of the village one could see the canyon that reverberated in more light as apparently cruises and balls aboard luxury ships were offered. Longingly, to the north, the old pine forest stretched past the meadows he remembered, gloomily, ferocious, a complete opposite to the town now. It seemed to be untameable. The sky flickered reddishly from all the light the city emanated and Hidan longed to see the stars. He sighed.

He was now on the top of a bath house, Deidara on his left. She had taken her uniform and turned it from the outside in, so that the cloud pattern wasn't obvious anymore and sat there watching the group they were following earlier. Her knees were supporting her chin and her arms wrapped around her thighs. It had gotten colder, but she hoped that the cloudless sky of the night might bring a sunny day tomorrow. Hidan sat next to her in a similar position, so that he could touch her with his knee if he flailed his legs. Which he did, repeatedly, he hated the silence.

"I will answer your question", he offered still weighing his options, "if you answer mine first."

"Which one?" She said, not taking her eyes off the people bathing. They had come to a bath house that was somewhere on the more expensive end as it was offering rooms with private hot springs. They were drinking and eating next to the water. She winced when she saw how one of the men ate a very saucy shrimp letting the mayonnaise drip over his hanging man-breasts into the water. They were laughing loudly, enjoying themselves, all of them very drunk.

"What's up with all the fucking remarks about me snapping?" He inquired seriously, watching her reaction.

"You turn into a maniac when you are preaching your religion. It's positively frightening", she answered monotonously.

"It's that bad, huh?"

Deidara tsked loudly, rolling her eyes: "For heaven's sake, you attacked me and I almost died. You licked the blood off my face and forced me to look at you" – her voice spat venom – "You looked demented, possessed, like you weren't thinking at all, goddamn it!"

He saw her get angrier and turned to look at the middle-aged people who were getting it on.

"And –that's not all– you treat people you torture afterwards as if nothing happened. Can you understand what's wrong about that, hm?"

"Yes, but", he paused to think, sinking his head, "It feels right. Every time I successfully murder someone. It feels like I have done something right."

"My god", she chuckled, "Hidan, look, I kill too, okay? Without thinking, hell, I've been dropping bombs over people and cities since the first day I developed that ability. I know how it feels when the fighting spirit kicks in. You stop thinking and feel glorious. Just glorious at how much power you have. All I am saying is - fuck what was I getting at, hm?" – she bit the flesh around her finders fidgeting slightly – " Look, maybe the rituals are not a bad thing. At least you show some respect to the victim and what not-"

"And they keep me alive", he interrupted on a purely informative tone.

"Mh, whatever, but-"

"No", it was his turn to get angry, "They do keep me alive. If I wouldn't kill –no, fuck it: If I wouldn't have killed in the first place, I couldn't have become immortal. Do not fucking question that, I swear to Jashin, I will kill you!"

"See", she hissed, "The moment someone stimulates you to question your belief or your methods you simply snap. Has it ever dawned upon you that critical thinking is important, hm?"

"Are you fucking calling me stupid?"

"No, I was-", she took a deep breath, "You know what? Forget I said anything."

She took a bit of clay out of her pocket and made a tiny spider, throwing it in the water.

"Katsu", she said firmly and the water in the tub exploded about two meters in the air. She kept at it, pestering the two couples. Hidan snuck indoors and stole all their valuables returning swiftly with the pockets of his hoodie filled with cash and a nice watch around his wrist. As he returned she stopped her tempering with the water. The couples were silent for a moment then began to laugh, some loudly, some just snickering. Idiots, the duo were easy to see and still they hadn't spotted them.

For some reason, Deidara's eyes stung. She hated getting emotional, but she had hoped for at least an apology. She wasn't exactly sane, she knew it. Apparently, she wasn't talented at getting her point across either. As many other kids who had been taught to be ruthless in their methods, she knew too well what it meant to lose the notion of what an enemy is. They enemy needs to be destroyed. But what makes an enemy is their opposed status to your own. Otherwise, you are up against a victim. Like she had been. A victim of a misunderstanding. Surely, it wasn't entirely his fault for what had happened, but she needed compensation for the damage she had endured.

He sat next to her and started counting the money. The couples in the tub were moaning indiscreetly.

A tear escaped her and then another. She knew she had grown closer to him as he, too, had been played by the same man. They were young and lacked a certain ingenuity, a certain intelligence that only came with experience, nevertheless they were partners, equals. They were strong and proud, alone to face whatever was being thrown at them. And yet they couldn't trust each other. It was maddening.

Hidan could hear her cry, but at that moment he did not give two flying fucks about her. She had insulted the most precious thing in the world to him: his unshakeable devotion to a being that had been at his side from infancy that consoled him during those nights when he could only remember the blood on his hands and the light fading from his enemy's eyes as he killed them. The world was chaos, it only knew chaos. And she spoke against it. Take that away then what? What? He stood up and started leaving.

"You coming, bitch?" She sat there motionless. "Fine, enjoy the hot sex." With that he leapt from the rooftop onto the streets.

…

He wasn't sure where he was going, where his feet were carrying him. The streets seemed to remember him though and he trusted them, the old warm limestone pavement. He walked past the old academy building, which was now a simple elementary school. From there he ran through the gardens of the school that were connected to those of the church, not his church, just a normal church. He started running quite fast and darted to the cemetery. There were candles on one grave, Hidan read the name on the stone, but he didn't recognise it. He passed through the rows formed by the tombstones and finally he reached the dead who had died three years ago.

Fujikage Saneatsu. Sakakibara Kenji. Okazaki Manobu. Takewaki Aki. Okanao Taka. Had he known those men? He remembered the fury and rage he felt before he left the village, he remembered killing them, simply, with no ritual or anything, just for avenging his own warrior spirit for the disgrace they had brought upon them. If he didn't fight, what was he?

"Ch!"

He walked down the streets and was amazed to see the 'School of Economics' a medium sized building, smaller than the elementary school that presented itself as a building block in the understanding of future commerce promoting peace by forming economic bonds.

"Ah", he realized and chuckled. Maybe this place made Kakuzu wet and he was ashamed to admit it. That was definitely it. "Assholes!"

He began to turn back, starting to regret having left the girl alone in the midst of an orgy with no money to do anything. She had helped him steal it and she had also answered his question. He turned around. On the way back he stopped at a small kiosk, eyeing all the merchandise suspiciously. Where there that many sweets when he was little? The colourful packaging and the jumpy fonts made him smile.

"Can I help you", an older man slid a small window open leaning against the small counter.

"One pack", Hidan said and the man threw it on the counter.

"450 ryo." That was the equivalent of a good meal at a small restaurant. He pursed his lips then looked at the shop owner his hands still in his pockets.

"Don't you dare", the vendor said, apparently knowing what he was thinking. However, he didn't remove the pack. Hidan hoped he didn't think he could react faster than him. He removed his hands from the pockets and reached for his pouch, the man also reached under the counter.

"A lighter too", the Jashinist said and the man suddenly relaxed as he saw that he was handing him the money.

They finished their transaction and Hidan left searching for someone's chakra.

…

Deidara had moved from the spot as her moment was interrupted by the obnoxious sounds the fornicating couples screamed and shouted.

She dropped to the ground feeling incredibly empty. She looked to her left; the street lead downhill and left to the main road. To the right, it went straight to the top of a hill. A warm fire seemed to burn in between the trees and she saw that it must have been lit in a forest. She felt drawn to whatever seemed to happen there, but she was also tempted to go back to the busy centre. A decision was not hard to make when she remembered that she had no money. She walked slowly until she reached the top of the hill where the road parted once to the left and once to the right. In front of her a fence made out of metal rods stopped her from advancing in a civilised manner. Deidara looked straight ahead at the fire. It was probably fifty metres in front of her and she observed it quietly. There were people there; she could distinguish a few elders, a few children, just two adults. They were singing and dancing and making food that smelled deliciously. Like nothing she had eaten before. A younger man was gesticulating a lot maybe he was telling a story. He came close to the fire and for a second Deidara thought he had noticed her, but he just tossed a dirty napkin in it. The older men were toasting to something, the clank of glasses sounding shrill. Laughs filled her ears and she watched as the fire warmed their faces. She shuffled in her uniform and tried to get warmer as well. Maybe that would bring her closer to them. A dog came into view too; he was chasing the stick a small child was holding. Maybe they were a family, maybe the men were father and son. Maybe the old lady was the grandmother of the child. And maybe this was their way of spending an evening together.

"Hey!"

She didn't turn towards the greeting fearing to lose the warmth of what she was witnessing. Hidan started watching the scene with her then looked at her, loneliness and longing obvious in her benighted features, her eyes just barely catching onto the light in front of them.

Hidan reached for his pack and lit a cigarette. Then he held it just above the filter and handed it to Deidara. "There you go", he said, his hand stretched out.

She eyed him, then the little glowing bud unable to comprehend the gesture.

"Now you have your own little fire", he added and smiled. Deidara smiled too and accepted the gift coyly. He took another cigarette and lit it. With every smoke he took his face became lighter then darker. She admired him silently and he noticed that.

"The kid", she asked.

He drew one long smoke, his face grimacing as if he were displeased. In the darkness he looked at her again and sighed.

"I was once like him", he said, "I grew up with my parents, they died fairly young. My dad just dropped dead one day and my mom had an aortic dissection" –he smiled sadly– "You could say she died of a broken heart." –he thought for a while– "I could have gone to live with my grandparents, but that would've meant I had to leave the village. All my friends were here, so the chuunin that was supervising me enrolled me at the orphanage. Funds were low, we had this hole in the wall that we wanted to fix before winter came. So we started to steal. The same chuunin that was instructing me taught me how to do it. He said that if we got caught he would have to expel us from the shinobi program. So, we stole. I stole. I stole a lot and began to steal more than I needed." He frowned at some unknown point on the horizon and lit another cigarette.

"What happened then?" She mumbled afraid to ruin this moment.

"Nothing much", he shrugged, "Apparently he was using us to claim rewards for stolen goods. One day he needed to blame someone because people caught onto his lies and he decided to choose me" – pause, smoke, exhale – "I killed him before he reached the police office. Once I realised what I had done, I felt terrible. But then" –smoke, exhale– "I found this book on a desk at school with a note to it: 'Jashin's bible, hope you like it, Emi'. I didn't know Emi and I stole stuff hence I took it. So, I read the damn thing and it finally explained the mechanics of the world. We kill because there is no other way. We are cruel and greedy. You, me, Kakuzu, everyone."

He tossed the cigarette to the ground and spoke once more: "Maybe it is just a cult. Maybe it was a trend started by some teenager. But it spoke and still speaks to me. I … Have you ever killed someone with your bare hands?" He furrowed one brow quizzically.

Deidara shook her head. Hidan smirked and explained: "There is no feeling more crippling than the guilt you feel the moment the warm blood gushes out on your hands. My immortality puzzles me sometimes, but it's nonetheless a gift powered by my conviction. There is magic that I can feel, that I can control, of that I am certain." He patted the nape of his neck, threw the filer away and looked at the girl. "I owe the little sanity I still have to Jashin. Please don't take it away."

She looked at him understanding what had caused his attachment to the odd god, but still unable to grasp how or why he extrapolated the meaning of a few poems especially if he knew they were just that, poems.

"You can control it, hm", she thought out loud getting lost in her thoughts. That moment the cigarette she was holding had burned down to her fingers and she let it fall with a short hiss. Hidan grabbed her shoulders and forced her out of her reverie.

"I was thinking", he changed the subject, "about playing a game with you and our best friend." She should have known his smirk was bad news.

* * *

Hello everyone! Thank you for reading so-so much.

Much love,

GRaff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


	17. Travesty

He was so full of shit.

She was perfectly aware of how impressionable she might have appeared to him, the crying, the screaming, the nagging. But he had chosen the wrong strategy to seduce her. If you can read a woman and tell her what she wants to hear, not what needs to be told, she will believe you. And Deidara knew this from experience.

They walked in silence. Hidan kept smoking and looking at the sky, then at people. She saw him dart forward and grab some doughnuts. Returning next to her he offered her one. She took it automatically with two fingers retracting her hand back in the wide sleeve of her coat. He started eating.

"Why did you kill him?"

"Oy", he protested, "Sad is not-"

"Why did you kill him?" Deidara had stopped in the middle of the main road. People were walking around them, pushing against them like the water of an angry river against its banking rocks. Suddenly, she felt small, the crowd was growing louder, thicker and only he seemed to be able to emerge his willowing surroundings. He was tall, suddenly rigid, and cold.

Hidan had stopped walking and turned to face her. The distance that separated them was shorter than an arm's length, yet it seemed so unnaturally endless.

"Why did you kill him", she repeated looking straight into his eyes.

"Who?" Came the evasive response. Deidara smirked and released the air that filled her lungs. Fresh oxygen was sucked in greedily.

"I think you know who I am talking about", she claimed confidently.

He closed the gap between them and put his arms around her, elbows resting on her shoulders. His forehead he leaned against hers. With a menacing hiss he explained: "You know a lot about me, blondie. That is a fucking privilege. With it comes respon-"

A kunai rested on his throat, in her eyes, determination.

"Why did you kill your supervisor, hm?"

He let her go and walked away slowly, hoping so much she would follow. And she did.

For no reason whatsoever he got lost through the small streets, reaching his initial destination on a long route. This street was packed with just red and pink lights, colours so erotic that left you swallowing hard. A few leggy babes strolled around, placing foot before foot, swaying their hips, and stretching the latex they were wearing. One could ignore their poochy bellies and their cellulite, the decadence was just there, free to grab. The heavy smell of grass settled in his lungs, and the beefy hulks guarding the entrance of almost every second building he saw reassured him of the place: Red Railroad also known as Triple R.

"Welcome, princess", he recited, "To the heavyweight class!" She was right behind him.

"Why are you running away from me?" She asked with a chuckle.

A pivot and a steady hand was all it took for him to pin her against a nearby wall. His anger was too high for him to handle anymore, but he didn't notice that. She had him wrapped around her finger and she wouldn't let him go.

"Fucking bitch", he blustered, "You want to know why I killed him" –he punched the wall behind her disintegrating the very yellow plaster– "You want to know why I fucking killed that son of a bitch?" –he fastened his grip around her throat– "Because I wanted to, I wanted to rip him to fucking shreds big enough so the cats could eat him. And I fucking did!"

"And what did you accomplish through that, you fucking prick?" She spat equally angry and convincing despite her current inferiority.

"I had to fucking earn my freedom, you bitch! Not all of us can suck kage dick and become acknowledged. What was it like riding the fucking midget with your child pussy, blondie? Worth the food and shelter? Oh yeah, Kakuzu told me." Deidara smiled and then kneed him. God almighty himself couldn't have put more force in an attack. Hidan dropped to the floor with loud moans.

"Fucking, fucker! Aa", he protested.

"You pretentious little fucker", she straddled his chest and pressed a kunai at his throat, "I did what I had to do and if I could go back I would do it again."

"But you are quick to judge me-" She punched him, scratching his throat in the movement.

"I do not lie about what I have done, I live with those fucking memories every day." He had remained with his head turned to the side and she packed him by his hoodie and brought him up. Seeing that he still wouldn't face her, Deidara leaned closer to his ear and whispered: "Keep lying to yourself, Hidan, and you will slowly lose respect for all life, not just mine, not just in this lifetime. Keep lying to yourself and one day you will look in a goddamn mirror and see an old man with washed eyes who has forgotten everything about himself. Keep at it, Hidan, and you'll see the real chaos you preach about."

She pushed him to the ground shaking his clothes mostly. He remained still. The girl wiped the sweat from her forehead and sighed. Exhaustion and adrenaline mixed in a feeling of intense dissatisfaction somewhere deep inside her, like a poisonous, colourful rattlesnake, and she felt like talking more.

"You killed that man so you could be acknowledged. You like to kill. Yet even your primitive brain understood that it is wrong to enjoy it. So, you tried to fucking justify it by hailing a higher instance. You fucking piece of shit" – she collapsed on the ground, next to him, leaning against the wall – "Jashin, my ass, it was your inborn pride and your fucking teenage hormones."

"I'm immortal", he finally said. Her eyes widened. Somehow, she had totally forgotten that. Hidan looked at her puzzled face, lifting himself up so that he too could sit and repeated: "I. Am. Immortal."

With that he stood up completely and headed down the street. Deidara watched as he disappeared between two bodyguards, packing a few bills in the pocket of one of them. They seemed to be laughing about something.

…

Kakuzu did not expect to see his partner join the table.

"My old friend", Hidan greeted, "Long time no see." He leaned dangerously on the table eying everyone. "Gentlemen, you looked displeased at my appearance" – he then began to arrange his chips – "But do allow a prick to join" – he smirked at Kakuzu – "All in good fun, right?"

The chips he had amounted to 500,000 ryo. The other players had at least double that sum.

"Fine", a slender man dressed in a classic kimono said as he ruffled the sparse hairs of his moustache, "You'll be out first, kid."

"Maybe buy a shirt next time, better investment", a simply, but cleanly appearing man said. He was about thirty-five and seemed to have had it rough. His smoothly shaved face showed some old scars that were not very obvious. Hidan could picture him as a mean kid who disobeyed everyone.

The table laughed at that last remark. Other than the two Akatsuki members and the two men who had spoken, there were two other players, a man with thick glasses, probably in his forties, who was smoking silently, and a tall, red-faced man with a big belly who had downed one strong drink since Hidan sat down and was about to order another.

Red-face did not like the intruder, but he sat next to him now, so he gave him a chance. Wanting to initiate the newbie he jumped to the rules of the game, their rules of the game. "Kid, how old are you?"

Hidan took his hood off and brushed his hair back.

"Twenty-two."

"Not really a kid anymore, are you, you little prick?" He laughed. "Well, then, what's your name?"

"Let's roll with Dan."

Red-face puckered his lips then smiled. "I'm Honetsu and these men around you are silent face, who does not speak because he thinks he's better than us; fancy thin-strip there is Kazuki, he's rich and noble, so we don't like him" –snickers erupted from all of them, including Kakuzu which was odd for Hidan to see– "Glasgow there is ruthless, so watch out; and your fashion advisor is none other than, chief of police, fat cat, and motherfucker Kin" –laughing ensued once more– "There are two rules. First of all, never splash the pot. Second of all, we are all here because our wives hate us, so you better not be happy and in love."

"What if I am?" Hidan wondered.

"Happy to share?" Honetsu grabbed the back of his chair and laughed loudly making the whole table tremble. "No, really, is she pretty?"

"I am utterly miserable, pal", the younger man joked and Kazuki huffed loudly.

"Wait until you're married", was all he warned about.

"Well, since you're like us" – Hidan eyed Kakuzu – "we begin at midnight and go for as long as it takes for the last man to stand", Honetsu continued then stopped briefly. "It's eleven forty now, so we wait for a while. Drink and smoke, watch out for the girls. Kin orders them every time because his wife is ugly and fat."

"Shut up", the man in question dissented.

"Don't listen", Honetsu insisted, "The woman's so big her ID picture is A4." Laughs.

Hidan couldn't take his eyes off those weird people. Especially his partner who was unmasked, sitting comfortably, and drinking. He also seemed ready to play for real, with real money. Now this would be something to behold.

…

It was a fairly old building held high by tall rooms and big arches that cracked here and there. The design was simple, yet elegant. A polished crystal chandelier hung in the middle of an open room and filled the hollow of a huge ornate dome. Presumingly, this was the centre of the building. The entrance was wide, on the right there was a reception, on a left a garderobe for clients. Behind the garderobe was a small stairway that led downstairs to the dressing rooms of the staff. Eying the main room cautiously, Deidara spotted one large wooden staircase that led upstairs to what she had seen from outside to be a big terrace, a restaurant possibly. All around the main room that was filled with pool tables and different types of games she didn't really understand, Deidara noticed an elevated space that was lit more dimly with poker tables. She concentrated for a while and she spotted them, Hidan and Kakuzu.

"Miss?" The receptionist addressed her politely, "Can I help you?"

"Yes, I am holding the place for one of my friends."

As the man was checking a register and communicating with the manager, Deidara came to analyse the fabric of the curtains that framed every wide door, the walls, that were covered halfway with dark veneer, then painted a nice shade of white. The lighting was warm, but not to intense, and swirls of smoke intoxicated the place. People were dressed quite elegantly, either in traditional attire or modern one. She even recognized some people donning the fashion of the west, with a short upwards collar and long shirts.

The receptionist eyed her dirty hair and clothes, her face then her figure. She smiled innocently.

* * *

Hello everyone! Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy it.

Much love,

GRaff.

Disclimer: I do not own Naruto.


	18. The Chapter Promised in the Summary

"And then I totally had him, girl, thirsty son of a bitch! I'm telling you" –the woman was applying lipstick in front of a long mirror– "These men be coming for my pussy juice. Be a bitch, not a whore, that's all I'm sayin'!"

"No way, girl! They be into classy hoes and shit. There was this old baby daddy. Ooh, boy was such a little bitch when I started rubbin' his thigh."

"Aw, hell naw, girl! Never disturb the men from their game. Only bad bitches can handle that. Your red boned ass might handle the drinks, but not the tips."

"Honey, you one ratchet small-ass bitch!"

Deidara sighed at the conversation she was hearing. Nevertheless, her first impression of the place was a good one. Even the foul-mouthed ladies oozed confidence and a sassiness that could manipulate.

She was amazed to see the place actually had a shower and clean clothes of all sizes. Without realising, she had smiled seeing women of all shapes, colours, and backgrounds transform into incredibly beautiful 'entertainers' as they were called. One blonde woman had incredible assets and proportionally thick thighs and arms otherwise she appeared to be small. Deidara watched in awe how graciously she moved in a mermaid shaped dress. Her golden hair complimented her oh-so-feminine features. The woman was so voluptuous and attractive that the girl had to bite her lip. The beauty eyed her and smirked with her eyes. "_She walks in beauty."_

The attires that were hanging on a rack were all of incredible quality and cut to flatter different body shapes. The only thing all of them had in common was the colour, black, and the gold details. Otherwise the girls could choose from tuxedos to dresses, nothing too revealing as this was not the place for such distractions.

One simple looking girl in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt was running around barefoot calling different girls to the make-up counter. She was in charge of it. Some of the entertainers did it themselves, but she offered it nonetheless.

"You, blondie, what are you waiting for?" She yelled, "Get dressed and come here."

For whatever reason, Deidara mobilized in accordance to her command, chose a dress, and went to take shower.

"Tatjana is not coming tonight?" A voice in a neighbouring stall asked.

"No. Also, I am afraid I did not have a chance to inquire about this issue."

"Tatjana", Deidara said loudly, "I am her replacement."

"Oh", came the response, "Well, that settles that."

"You should hurry. Your table, they start at midnight."

Deidara dried her body with a towel then wrapped her hair in it. Right next to the mirror there was a box that girls simply stuck their hand in and took a piece of fabric wrapped in a plastic foil out. She grabbed one of those objects and found out it was a pair of stringy, incredibly exposing black lace panties that were one-use only. She sighed. Removing the plastic that protected her dress, she was now holding a cloth made out of finely woven cashmere. Slowly putting it on, she enjoyed the brushing of the material against her skin. It was a halter dress, the halter being a five centimetre thick golden choker, which wrapped itself like a piece of golden ribbon all around her neck. She fastened it and turned to look at herself in the mirror. Her chest was completely covered, her dress reached to the ground, only her back was exposed.

"Mh", she grunted. Very exposed. It allowed the curving of her butt to start showing.

"It looks good on you", the make-up girl said, "Now come here. I'm Sia. Who are you?"

"Tatjana's replacement", Deidara answered taking a seat in a big comfortable chair now able to look at herself in three differently angled mirrors. She was looking terrible.

"Don't worry, Tatjana's replacement", Sia encouraged her as she saw the other woman disapprove of her appearance, "You flaunt that ass and puff your baby chest out as best as you can, my magic will be flawless."

She started rubbing different stuff on her skin, making observations about its dryness, arguing with an unresponsive Deidara about exfoliation.

"Your eyes and hair: girl! Your nose tip is so weird", Sia frowned, "It's so big and flat. As if you need protection from the air around you. Look" – she inclined her head in a certain way – "You cannot see your nostrils if you look straight ahead, like: at all!"

"Thank you!?" Deidara tried.

When Sia was finished Deidara was amazed by what she had accomplished. Her eyes were darkly rimmed, framed in the corner by a tantalizing flick, her skin looked fresh, and her lips were redder, as if she had bitten on them for a while. It had taken her five minutes, but the need to scratch her skin disappeared, she felt it less tight, and more supple. With a nod, she approved of the make-up.

"I look like a cat", she chirped all of the sudden as Sia kempt her hair and tied it in a ponytail that couldn't help but curl at the still damp ends.

"It's magic", the smaller girl pointed out rolling her eyes, "Shoes and go already. It's nearly midnight."

With that Deidara grabbed a pair of black high heels that wrapped one strap around her ankle, another around her toes. She pushed a few curtains aside and made her way to challenge her comrades.

...

A big gold coin was presented: "Glasgow, you remember this one?" Honetsu was serious.

"Yes", the miser mentioned, "Twenty years ago, in Kirigakure."

The object the two spoke of seemed like some sort of artefact. However, it was just a coin. Hidan inspected it from afar and recognized a very intricate pattern on it and one red stone in the middle of said pattern.

"I suggest, Dan has the dealer chip for today", Honetsu said and pushed the coin right in front of him, "You have luck on your side, better not screw up."

"Gentlemen", a raspy voice said earning the attention of everyone at the table, "I will be your assistant for tonight. I'm Mrs. Saeki." Saeki was a woman in her thirties who was incredibly feminine. Deidara was sure she could make any man surrender. She was curvy, tan, and incredibly beautiful. Kakuzu smiled at her for reasons neither Deidara, nor Hidan understood.

"Mrs. Saeki", Hidan purred shamelessly undressing her with his eyes. She had a short dress on, with a deep décolletage that threatened to expose her breasts when she leaned over to deal the cards.

"Easy now", Kazuki warned.

Deidara paid careful attention to the other girl that had come with them, a girl named Kotone with a beautiful, soft voice. She went to the men and asked if they wanted anything to drink then turned to her as if placing the order. Understanding her gesture, Deidara headed to the bar and had the drinks prepared and put on a tray. As she waited the barman kept looking at her.

"You're new", he said.

"Also add a whiskey, double, neat", she mumbled still looking at the two other women from afar, trying to figure out what she had to do.

"Ok", he tried again, "It's just that I can see something is bothering you, might it be" –he made an unnecessary pause, because he knew exactly what he wanted to ask– "finances? Because if so, all it takes is the right amount of seduction and a chip between your-"

She took the tray and left. Her task was easy: you need to kiss these men's asses. That was all. Sure, Mrs. Saeki actually had to pay attention to the game, but Kotone and her had to do something else entirely. They had to make sure the men had their ego polished and fluffed.

When she returned she served the drinks to every player, the tray she discarded on a little supply cabinet. With the glass between her fingers she walked slowly letting her ponytail swing the slightest amount as if it was trying to hypnotize. She was on an expedition.

Mrs. Saeki was right in front of Kakuzu, on her right there was a suspiciously silent man, on her left was a man named Kazuki, who was very engaged in the game, pondering his options the longest. He would fold most of the time. Next to him was Hidan, then his best new friend, Honetsu, who was either very drunk or was naturally so red. He had told Kotone something and they were now laughing, causing him to get even redder. Next at the table were Kakuzu and a man named Kin who just so happened to be looking at her.

"Mrs. Saeki, who is the blonde girl?"

"I can speak for myself, thank you very much", Deidara interrupted her superior before she could answer. Kazuki and Kotone looked at her. Saeki just smiled with her eyes, anticipating a rough night. At that moment she cursed at the new girl inwardly.

"Hush, little girl, you might be playing with fire", Kin retorted.

"That's a bold way of addressing someone who has seen your cards." She made her way to the table between him and the silent man, leaning against it with her butt and sipping on her drink.

Honetsu laughed excited by the amount of skin on display and patted Hidan on the back. The younger man watched the girl, but took his eyes off her the next minute.

"Very well", Kin said and stood up to pull a chair from another table right next to his, "Sit, partner."

The sudden role change she was faced with took Deidara by surprise. She sat there as he took his place again and spread his legs widely. His breath was heavy, he had been drinking, and she felt uncomfortable with him so close.

"So, partner, what's your name?"

"Double D."

"That's just something you don't have", the policeman teased eying her chest and the other men, including Hidan and Kakuzu laughed out loud, "But small girls still grow right?"

Deidara smiled and took his cards. They were in the flop round and Kakuzu had just raised. On the table the three cards were an ace of spades, a 10 of hearts, and a 7 of clubs. Her hand showed a jack of hearts and an 8 of hearts.

"Call", she said and placed a few chips in Saeki's direction so she could reach them more easily. Just now she realised, the table was a perfect circle, and quite small. The figures of men made it appear much bigger. She could smell their bodies and hear their breathing.

The silent man folded. Kazuki folded. Saeki gathered the chips and dealt one more community card, a 9 of hearts.

"I didn't know you allowed your girls to play", Kin said.

"Now, now", Honetsu interrupted, "Double D, how old are you?"

"Raise", Hidan said and downed his drink, "Blondie, bring me another one!" Deidara pushed her glass at him and he barely caught it. Then she returned all her attention to the question she had been asked.

"How is that relevant, my dear sir?"

"Fold", red-face retreated quickly, unwilling to lose her attention, "We need to see where you are. Glasgow and I are the oldest, then the rest are thirty-ish, then comes buddy here, Dan." He squeezed Hidan's shoulder who was drinking the whiskey in one shot.

"Really", she gasped, "How old is our dear Mr. Dan?"

Kakuzu called.

"Twenty-fucking-two", he responded frowning and pushing her empty glass back, "Now bring me another drink!"

Deidara caught it without looking. "Call", she added and handed the cards back to Kin. She stood up and felt his left hand trace her empty back and rest below her butt. Then she took a deep breath in and left for the bar in deep thought.

"Shit", she mumbled once she reached it. Since she hadn't asked what she should order, she prepared to return. Nevertheless, she found Hidan right in front of her, pushing her against the bar.

"What the fuck are you up to, fucking bitch?" He took her head in his hands and forced her to look him in the eyes. To the bartender it was like he was hitting on her so he ignored them. "Answer me, now, or I am dragging you out and make you tell me!"

"Hidan", she said pushing him away, "I want to play a game with you and our best friend."

"Give me a bottle of whiskey", he roared and the bartender moved swiftly and gave it to him. He took it and offered his arm to his partner as they were making their way back to the table.

"Sorry to make you wait, gentlemen", he faked an apology, "We have decided to make this round about Double D."

"Oh?" Deidara knew at that moment that he was up to no good.

Raise. "Blondie, if I win this round, you owe _us_ a favour."

"Of what nature?"

"Sexual!"

The men at the table gasped and ooh-ed at the enticing raise.

Call. "If I win, you owe _me_ a favour", she protested calmly.

"You won't win", he mocked, "I know what you're going for."

She smirked.

Saeki gathered all the chips and announced the last round, the river round. The last card added on the table was a jack of spades. There were only three people still playing, namely the three Akatsuki members. Hidan was to begin.

"Raise", he said and pushed all his chips forward.

"Hey", Honetsu shouted, "Bold move, Dan!"

Deidara eyed Hidan. He was sitting perfectly across of her, feet stretching under the table, meeting hers. She shifted in her place, under Kin's hand. Remembering his annoying presence on her right she stopped to untie her hair, letting it hang between him and her, protecting her from the unwanted proximity.

"Tie that shit back up", the Jashinist blurted on a calm, yet clearly irritated tone. She ignored him and twirled with her curling ends to hide one eye behind her rich tresses. Her foot started going up his legs and his eyes promised her ruthless revenge for this.

"Fold", Kakuzu mouthed, eager to see what the younglings were getting at.

Hidan's hands were fisted and calm, however she felt the light tremble in his legs as she searched him for whatever strategy he was going for. And she found it, his frustration becoming more evident in his features with every passing second.

"Call", she said gleefully. Her smile was big and veiled, warm and inviting, yet dangerously mysterious. Chips were pushed forward.

"Please show your cards", Saeki announced. Hidan complied then downed a full glass of whiskey looking at the girl in front of him.

She too placed her cards down for everyone to see. She had a pair of Jacks, he had her Queen of Hearts.

"Mr. Kin and Double D win the pot."

"Hahaha", Kin rejoiced, "Ooh, making me rich, baby, baby!" He got her hair out of the way, grabbed her face within his hands and kissed her deeply.

Hidan stood up and left.

Parting from the drunken kiss, Deidara jubilated. "Do excuse me, gentlemen, for I must leave to claim my prize."

…

The rain trickled down on the village in lazy, fat drops that exploded when they hit the ground. It wasn't a heavy rain, just a scary assault of the skies, compelling people to turn in for the night. After ten minutes everything became quieter. The terrace of the casino had opened a few umbrellas, a few couples still staying outside and enjoying their evenings.

Hidan took a seat on the wet chair next to the edge of the building. He took a cigarette out of his pack and placed it between his lips unaware that it had soaked all the moisture up and couldn't be lit anymore.

Deidara found him like that, staring at the village and into nothingness at the same time. The rain was slowly getting through her dress and she felt it starting to cling tightly and heavy to her body. His hoodie changed colour, from grey to almost black. She took the seat next to him. Unsure of what he was thinking she decided to put her hand on his knee and pat it gently.

"You won", he mumbled looking at her, "Congratulations!"

She removed his cigarette with a tsk: "It was no big deal." With her fingers she adjusted a few stands of his hair that escaped from their usual place.

"You knew how to read me", he differed, "That is a great weakness on my part."

What she had managed to do was emasculate him. And not in an intimate setting either, but in front of powerful men, all in their own way. It almost felt like she had surpassed him. Of one thing he was absolutely certain: he had made a promise to her. Oddly enough, he wasn't sure if by keeping his word he would defy his own masculinity or empower it. That depended mostly on what he had to do. What she decided that he would do. Again, this proved that she had the upper hand.

"What will you have me do, I wonder", he mused as he started to push the wet hair from her forehead behind her ears with two hands at the same time until she took them in hers and squeezed them. He shifted and embraced her long legs with his own.

"Say it", he pleaded. She closed her eyes partly and waited, curious if he would give into her, if he would try to compensate for earlier by raw action. He was hoping to seduce her and make her ask for him to take her hence wasting her favour.

The two just sat there, forehead to forehead, hands intertwined, lips almost brushing, both growing angry and hot. The silence was agonising, the tension unbearable, there was fever burning at his patience. His hands would soon drag her into his chest, against him, under him. Yet there she was, unmoving and cold, speaking.

"Convert me!"

* * *

She walks in beauty. Byron.

Hello everyone! So, I suppose I finally got to it, huh? Many thanks for your time and patience.

Much love,

GRaff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


	19. Hierarchy II

A meeting was in order hence a meeting took place very much to Kisame's amusement. He was proud of very few things he had done and fully understood his limitations. Whenever there was a possibility for him to receive compliments he took it in fully and commended himself for his good work. Once he got a compliment from a girl. Before killing him, he even got a few from his master. But for a long time now, those amazing moments happened entirely during meetings.

On this particular occasion, he even liked his presence as a mere hologram. Given that all other attending members minus his own partner, Itachi, were joined together in physicality made the absent duo seem surreal. Kisame towered over the other figures, perfectly round eyes staring them down in a menacing way. Next to him, Itachi gauged the people and their words through dark red, swirling black orbs – the dangerous gaze of a ferocious assassin. Other than their eyes, the hoods didn't reveal anything else.

They were in Pain's office, gathered in a circle looking at each other. Kisame took in the features of the troubled lot. The last incoming party looked exhausted. Kakuzu was trying to calm Hidan down who was angrier than usual. He was trying to defend himself from the miser's accusations.

"Let it go, fucker", he said almost begging, "I – Fine: I shouldn't have been so obvious in a town where I am a wanted criminal, but just let it go! We killed that mousy bitch we should be good."

"I am not letting it go. This is the last time I am putting up with your nonsense", the older man scolded seriously to the point the whole group felt a victim of his judging eyes. The authoritarian tone made everyone wary of the seriousness of the matter. They were not going to be catching up, it seemed.

"Just shut up you two, hm", Deidara interfered, crouching and letting her head hang in utter desperation. The girl looked very different from what Kisame remembered. He hadn't seen her in over a year. She had gotten prettier for sure, her figure, more feminine from what he detected through her open uniform. At the same time, though, she looked exhausted. As if she had had a lot to deal with over a short amount of time. Her typical carelessness had been replaced by a pondering frown that made her look well beyond her age. Well, it happened with him when he was much younger, so he couldn't feel particularly sad for her.

Hidan watched her and cursed silently, guilt tracing his usually serene features. Something between those two had happened, but Kisame couldn't put his finger on it. Sasori seemed to be thinking the same thing as his gaze travelled between the two. His eyes rested on his partner who leaned her temple against the irregular form of his body, now hidden within another puppet, Hiruko, in an attempt to change positions without much effort. She even brought one arm up behind his head and started playing with his braided hair.

The puppeteer and Zetsu, who had arrived in Amegakure one day earlier, were silent, their expressions, blank. Not that it was unusual or anything, but from the tone one of the fragmented conversation and the looks that were being exchanged between the members everyone was uneasy. When this happened, more than one of them would start a quarrel. Why not now?

Pain appeared next to them taking his place in the circle. He was angry and he would waste no time beating around the bush about it.

"I will go over a few things and I warn you to not interrupt me", he spoke coldly, "Deidara stand!"

The girl didn't even lift her gaze. Not even three seconds had passed when the leader commanded again: "Now, Deidara!"

"Or what?" Her mumble was barely mouthed when Kakuzu, who was standing on her right, packed her by her loosely hanging hair and pulled her up to a stand. He didn't release her and pulled harder.

"Get it, hm", she shouted, "I am supposed to apologise, see, leader?" –she smiled a broken smile and pointed at her head– "Someone is trying very hard to impress you!"

"Kakuzu, let her go", Sasori cautioned drawing attention to Pain's visibly irritated, gloomy face. His orange hair, his purple eyes, his thousand piercings, he was such a pretentious prick.

"As I was saying", the leader continued, "I need to clear a few issues with you. I received a report on the missions involving the intel gathering for the two-tails and the eight-tails. These were successful thanks to Zetsu and his prolonged residing in Kumogakure. The 'payment' mission, too, bore excellent results, again, thanks to Zetsu and his perspicacity. He managed to obtain information on the plan of the Raikage to test the Tsuchikage. Apparently, he hoped to track us down too, but he was not able to … thanks to Zetsu and his diversion skills. He stirred him towards suspecting Konoha of infiltrating the village by collecting a register entry regarding the attempted stealing of the Byakugan."

Pain paused and stepped in front of Kakuzu slowly.

"I have a few questions", he continued, "Namely, why is it that two teams who had the same destination and very similar goals could not cooperate despite the fact that they were aware of each other's movements?"

"We finish our individual missions independently. Always have", Kakuzu answered calmly.

"What is in your opinion the goal-"

"Listen to me", the miser interrupted, "When you will understand how money affects each and every one of us, maybe you will have a say in this matter. Until-"

"I understand – no. I _understood_ everything, a long time ago", Pain was pissed, "Kakuzu, I respect you and the decisions you make." –his eyes rested on Deidara's head inspecting her defiance– "I do not approve of the way you treat your comrades."

"I have warned you about people like her", the miser hissed and pulled Deidara even harder, "Teenagers, hormonal, irrational-"

"Pulling a girl's hair must remind you of those days, hm, old man", the girl interjected. Silence settled for a moment. The next instant Pain was blocking Kakuzu's threads from penetrating her body. Hidan and Sasori took a step back from the scene and just watched. Yet no one bothered to stop the miser's assault.

"Indeed", Pain sided with Deidara, "Also, let me remind you that she is important to us. Especially economically. Not one of you was able to finish missions as quickly as her."

"And while I agree with you on that matter, when it's convenient to her she lets herself get almost killed. First thing she did when we found her was to deceive my partner-"

"Deceive?" That remark stung her chest like a poisoned spike. She laughed. Hidan looked at the ground helplessly. Indeed, she might have not said anything, yet it was him who initiated an attack despite knowing what his actual target looked like. Also, had she fought back, they would have drawn attention with the noise.

"Let it go, Kakuzu", he intervened, "We have."

"Speak for yourself", the girl roared and wiggled out of the burning pull at her scalp. "I have never wanted to join this pathetic excuse of an organisation in the first place, yet I shouldered my defeat" –she looked into Itachi's eyes for the first time showing no grudge– "and I did what I was told to."

She was now close to Pain's initial spot, between Itachi and Zetsu. She changed the topic in an attempt to stop herself from crying: "Overall, the missions yielded great results despite the wasted time and effort. If it pleases you, leader, we could receive our new missions now and be on our way."

Kisame smiled under the cover of his uniform. "I am afraid I have to agree with the young lady, Itachi and I are not in the position to extend this meeting any longer than necessary."

"Very well", the leader answered, "But allow me to set something straight: From now on, everyone reports their mission results and any intel they have gathered in a meeting. Individual undertakings" –he eyed Kakuzu and Sasori– "will not be tolerated."

He walked past Deidara and grabbed two scrolls, distributed them, then he explained: "Kakuzu, Hidan, I have received requests for a few people to be dealt with. If you turn their bodies in for bounties they should amount to about 150 million." –he expected a complaint from the Jashinist, but none came– "Sasori, Deidara, you have a silent assassination to take care of. Also, report any new information on Orochimaru. Zetsu, you will clean after Itachi and Kisame. And you two will proceed to look for the five-tails."

The leader closed his eyes and felt the chakra of the members boiling with anger, with guilt, with desperation, with want. He sighed silently.

"You are dismissed", he finally ordered and the members scattered instantaneously. Not one though.

"Leader …"

"Hidan", he voiced, surprised at the unexpected sound of his tone, the uneasy look in his eyes, "What is it?"

"I must ask for a favour, but first I have a question."

"Pain", a female voice echoed in the room along with light footsteps that were closing in on the two.

Pain turned in Hidan's direction analysing the expression on his face. Never had he shown seriousness like that. Needless to say, the leader was intrigued, and with a nod of his head he prompted the younger man to speak.

"Why have you never considered exploiting my power?" The question was abrupt, but it did not startle him. He closed his eyes and thought about it. The issue that arose was very intricate. Hidan was still a new member, unaware of their ultimate goal. Another problem was his instable attitude and insatiable bloodlust. Then there was his defying religion that challenged his moral acceptance. Hidan's philosophy about life did not contradict his own. Still, he found it hard to consider it as it did not teach empathy.

The silence made Hidan uneasy, so he elaborated: "You speak about fucking pain and suffering and how they are defining our human nature. Maybe … just consider my request?" Ge paused, looking for the right words. Konan made her way to Pain's side, but none of the men let their focus shift.

Finally, Hidan said: "A lot happened on the mission."

Pain was almost amused, but tried to keep it to himself. "What", he asked sardonically, "And how can I help?"

Anger. "Hell, I know you don't trust me and –to be quite honest– I don't trust you either." He smiled admitting his inferiority, but despite that he still managed to appear challenging. "But maybe you should also get your hands dirty from time to time. Just saying."

As hard as it might have been for him to admit, it was true that he and his partner, Konan, had been bound to their headquarters for a long time. The privilege of being the founders and leaders of the organisation made them act selfishly by ruling over half of their home village and stirring the civil war in the direction they wanted. Hidan was not aware of all those details, but it made his blood boil to be judged and pushed around by an idiot who had forgotten how faces change and constrict in pain with every passing day. Idealistic fucker …

"Go now", Pain said then looked at Konan who was mutely lost in thoughts of her own.

…

Hidan took the emergency exit of the building and started climbing down towards their improvised rooms. At some point he took a seat on some stairs. The only light came from the long neons, it was white and maybe slightly blue. He rested his head in his palms and sighed.

Evidently, he had refused Deidara explaining that faith cannot be taught, it needs to be discovered through the power of revelation. Then came the rituals, the sacrifices … He took his scripture out of his pocket and started looking for something hinting towards converting others once more. And he found what he was looking for. Metaphors of aligning stars and properly shed blood and tears. Imagery of light and knowledge, pathos turned into ecstasy. The sacrifice of stars beyond the light of the eyes, the necrosis, the transcendence.

"Fucking bullshit", Hidan mumbled and rolled his eyes closing the book loudly and creating an echo. He placed it next to him and stared at it. He felt hopelessness overwhelm him, not a common feeling.

His religion did not come with instructions and that was problematic. Sure, he could impale the girl in some way that would match whatever ought to be matched, but did he want to risk it? It's not a problem if she were to die, but if she did, then people would take him less seriously and that would not sit well with him.

"Fuck …"

Something he had to do about the whole situation. Otherwise, he would have lost the game and, implicitly, lost her as his playmate. For some reason he smirked at that thought. He ought to let her know that it was still on.

…

"Mh, Master Sasori, I need 120,000 ryo." Deidara was packing for their mission, a simple infiltrate and annihilate mission in the Fire Country. Then Sasori explained he would meet one of his spies, so they would have to be quick.

"Closet, top drawer", he answered as he prepared his puppets, "Take more in case we get separated again."

"It's ok, we won't", came the instantaneous response. The topic seemed to irritate her. "And if we do, we meet up on the border, at the new exchange point, hm."

He stopped working and turned to look at her. She was counting bills sitting on the bed he never slept in, her face almost disappearing behind the neckband, her hair tucked behind both ears.

"Yes, that seems efficient", he tried to pry with a subtle compliment, but she had figured him out instantly. Her eyes shot up to meet his.

"I know what the fuck you're doing, ok", she threatened, "And I don't appreciate it."

That answer bothered Sasori. Sure, they were never close, but they were a team. "You don't deny something went wrong, yet you won't tell me."

"Because it's stupid, Mas-"

"It's Hidan", he retorted and she fell silent, "Did he do anything to you?"

"No", she said and chuckled, returning to count, "Hm, and why would you care?!"

"I don't, you say?" He lowered his voice, his head; his heart, sunken, as if having remembered what breaking apart truly felt like.

"No, Master Sasori", she jabbed, "You just think you do." She paused and finished stacking her money. "If you did, you would have fucking done something about it. Stop deluding yourself, stop wasting my time. Seems about fair, hm?"

She stood up and left, moving quietly, closing the door adequately loud, and heading to her own room right next to his. As she dropped the hand from the knob, she spotted Hidan coming in her direction. Her mind was blank, so she didn't hesitate as she approached him.

"Hey, Deidara", he greeted.

"Here", she said, handing him the money, "120,000, what I owe you plus interest. We should be quits, right?"

He took it and held it in his hand. "Yeah, perfect."

"Mhm", she confirmed and started opening her door, "Good luck on your mission!"

"You too." He couldn't wait for her to slam the door into his face so he started walking.

She pondered whether to look after him, but bit the want down. Key in. Turn. Knob. Turn. Key out.

"Fuck …"

* * *

Hello everyone and thanks for reading! I think one chapter or two might contain just simple character development before the two meet again. I will get into Deidara's background and her relationship to her village and Sasori. I'm just giving you a heads-up.

Much love,

GRaff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


	20. Gore Galore

"I am so glad you are handling this", the Daimyo said, "You're a sight for sore eyes." Lust. So clear in his small, slanted eyes, his double chin, his lousy moustache, his fat belly. He jerked a veil from a woman's neck and showed it to her. "You like silk?"

"Could we get to business?"

Deidara was done with the man by this point. Usually, she would not be quick to jump to conclusions or judge a person by their physical appearance alone, but this man just asked to be caricaturised. She envied him, really, for the confidence he had managed to assemble to act like such a big-shot when he was just a bastard. A fat, middle-aged bastard. Still …

"Also, I'd prefer if we would discuss this delicate matter in a more" –the girl looked around– "professional environment?!"

The room they were in was a typical paper and wood palace, with tatami mats on the floor and many pieces of furniture sculpted out of a very dark material, possibly some type of deep-green marble. Then there were his concubines. His many, half-naked concubines. Women younger than her that offered themselves to this man. One of them, a girl of roughly sixteen, wore a kimono that had dropped to the crook of her elbows. Her small breasts were hidden behind her raven hair and she massaged the Daimyo's feet, eying Deidara with a smirk. The kunoichi was absolutely sure that such a stare-down was not acceptable. Also, she believed that out of the two of them she was in the better position.

"Oh", the fat man japed, "Startled, are we?" He started rubbing the masseuse's ass and she looked up at him with slightly parted lips, then kissed his belly-button that was emerging from underneath his clothes. "I would have assumed that someone like you would be familiar with this" –he slapped the girl's ass, she moaned, and bit her lip– "You sound like my wife, Ms. Deidara." He purred her name and she gaged, subtly hiding the rude gesture behind a sassy smile.

"Oh, I know that face", the Daimyo disclosed, "You are one of those idealistic" –he waved his hand and another concubine jumped in to serve them more drinks– "driven individuals. You don't like to be referred to as 'women-folk', no." He downed his drink, then another. The pause was prolonged, but Deidara knew to let him finish. She couldn't kill him before he paid them, so she summoned all her control. "You are one of those who think we're equal, you and me!"

The girl at his feet chuckled and smiled at Deidara with a broad grin. She was biting her thumb, turning a redly-coloured nail towards her guest and sucking on it indiscreetly, with a loud pop-sound here and there. Another slap at her butt, then the Daimyo took her chin between his fingers and lifted her up.

"When was the last time you have had a man take care of you, child? Make you surrender and feel like a woman?" –butt-slap, moan– "Those like you, odd creatures, right? They wish to establish a new world order and usurp everything your fathers and grandfathers have fought for and died for. The wars, the people." –he frowned and patted his whore's head– "What kind of revolutionary matriarchy would understand that, child? Do you hate your roots that much?"

"Can we, please, get to business?"

The Daimyo smirked believing he had won a verbal battle that had, actually, been a mere ramble. He rushed one of his servants and soon Deidara was holding a file with the specifics of their mission. Target's photo, age, name, address, frequented places, acquaintances, verbal ticks – everything was there.

"You will have her killed by tomorrow morning", he explained no less aggravated by the situation, "She is meeting one of her friends tonight. Follow her and take her down. Don't forget to disfigure her."

"Understood", she confirmed and left swiftly, deciding to not bid the man goodbye.

…

"Now, remember, DeiDei", the princess rushed, "At one o'clock, on the western terrace. And please" –she rolled her eyes in desperation– "Please don't tell anyone about this, ok? God, I can't believe my maid got sick today."

"Yes, milady", Deidara mouthed, "Get some rest until then. Goodnight, milady."

It was about ten in the evening. The sky had gotten dark a long time ago, it was late autumn after all. The air was chilly and ruthless to poorly covered skin, like hers. The palace was silent and lit gloomily with lampions that shone warmly. They illuminated the paper walls just barely, good enough for one to see where to step and where to look. But most importantly, they seemed to bring life to the characters depicted on the almost translucid paper, in this case, three geishas preparing to perform. Deidara followed the traces of their hands and faces, she took in the explosion of colours, the multitude of patterns in the layered fabric of their attire. She sighed. The only reason she was tempted to not kill her disgusting employer was her fear of letting such beautiful pantings be wasted.

There was still time so she straightened her hair that hung loosely for once to give her a more coy appearance. She had a pair of black pants on and a grey haori that was bound around her waist with a thick, black cotton belt. Underneath this whole attire she had hidden her trusted clay and weapons, ready for combat.

First, Deidara turned the lights on the corridor down, by rotating a small wheel in what seemed to be a control panel. The lampions were all fuelled by gas and were connected to a centralised gas dispenser through a very big system of small tubes and wires. Then she made her way to the Daimyo's chambers. It was getting louder and more crowded. She smiled at some of the earlier concubines and kept advancing. On one side of the building she could hear the nightly festivities, so she chose to explore the other one. The private chambers were guarded by a tall, masked man who inclined his head when he saw her. She smiled at him and in the next second she had him paralysed by pinching a sensitive nerve on his neck. He fell against the door behind him and rested slouchy against it. The girl went around him carefully and proceeded to explore.

There was not one light turned on. Ahead of her, a two-meter-broad corridor unfurled and split in multiple directions, left, right, up, down. She assumed that the staircase that lead downstairs was strictly for the personal servants and maids of the ruling couple, so Deidara kept it in mind as a subtle escape route. There was a sliding panel on her left, a tea room, then an open corridor that peaked into an indoor garden or greenhouse of sorts. Another corridor went left, further away, then on the right there was a very long room. She opened the sliding door and entered. It appeared to be a conference room and an office. On one of the walls, there were many books and scrolls, arranged perfectly. A giant map had been painted onto the paper of the doors. Then there was a big desk, with a chair. She took a seat and started going through the documents that rested on it. Reports, reports, reports. No raw data. She flickered through sums and traded goods. Then she found invoices for luxury items, or trips. A redecorating bill. Everything seemed perfect. Until she stumbled upon a budget prognosis. She didn't quite understand what calculations took place, but at the bottom of the last page, the scribbler had noted: "trimester costs – soared?"

She made a mental note of everything then put it back and left the room. Had it gotten chillier, or was it just the draft? Certainly, the low whistling of the wind and the rattle of paper made her uneasy. Suddenly, a small light had been lit somewhere along the last hallway on the left. Deidara swallowed once and headed in that direction with inaudible steps. The light got switched off again. She paused and listened to everything around. If anything went wrong, she might compromise the mission. Another gulp and she leaned against the wall cornering the hallway. Very slowly, she dropped to her knees and tilted her head to her left. Finally, she inspected the surroundings and found nothing out of the ordinary. On the right, there was a windowed balcony that overlooked the valley and the rice fields. The view was breathtaking. The sky was dotted with stars that shone so brightly that the rice puddles reflected them. She crawled like a baby to the window and kept staring. Unbeknownst to her, she sighed softly allowing the night to mesmerise her.

And then there was a big hand across her mouth, an arm around her upper body, one leg immobilised by the hook of her assaulter's knee. From the sheer body size, she figured out it must be a man. Panic.

"It's me", he whispered. Deidara couldn't recognise the voice and brought one palm against his hipbone. She bit him and he hissed against the top of her head, strengthening his grip on her. It had become very painful.

"Blondie", he tried again, "It's me!" She let him go and he did so too in return. Then she turned to look at him.

"What the hell are you doing here", she interjected quite loudly.

He brought an index finger in front of his lips, signalling to be silent.

"What? Did you miss me that much?" Her sassiness was evident despite the low tone.

Hidan gave her the middle finger with an unimpressed face. He then pointed with his head behind him urging her to follow and she did. He went to the indoor garden and jumped through an opening in the ceiling. She did so too and now both of them were on the roof. He closed the window let the wind blow a few times past him then he sighed. In the meantime Deidara blurted out violently: "What are you doing here, hm?" She placed her hands on her hips. "What the fuck, Hidan?"

"Blondie, I am after the Daimyo, he has a bounty of ten million and Kakuzu sent me to get him", he explained clearly annoyed.

At some point she stopped cursing at the universe and replied: "You can't. Not until I get my payment from him tomorrow."

"Well, fuck, hope he pays you well for one night, blon-"

"This is not funny", she interrupted, "I have to kill and mutilate a girl. You won't ruin this again, hm."

"Me? Ruin? And: again?" He felt insulted.

"Yes, again", she replied nothing less than exasperated, "Stay low until tomorrow, I have already checked his office for documents, there was not much, just some budget things or something."

"I know, I checked it out before you did. I even got a chance to meet the wife and take a picture with her royal ass."

"Good for you", she remarked sarcastically. Then she frowned and looked in the distance hating him for ruining her night.

"Stop that, Deidara", he said somewhat seriously, "It was an honest mistake." She seemed to be thinking about something as she turned her face towards him. Her loosely hanging hair moved with the air, slowed down by its own weight. He could distinguish her features, having gotten used to the darkness. They were separated by the window in the ground below them.

"I kill him", she suddenly said and he lifted his gaze.

"What?"

"Mhm, the Daimyo", she kindly elaborated, "I kill that disgusting son of a bitch."

"No fucking way", he objected angrily and slightly louder as well, "I get to kill him, don't be greedy. You already have sweet-tits, you don't need another pair, come on!"

"You can have sweet-tits for all I care! I want the Daimyo!"

"Cocksucking bi-", he sighed and turned around to calm down, "Fine: What do I have to do?"

…

"DeiDei?"

She emerged from the shadows and gasped a bit, pretending to have run a lot. Finally, she straightened her haori and answered: "Excuse, milady!"

'Milady' was a small, petite girl, with long black hair that was perfectly straight. Her eyes, too, were black, and her kimono was black. Only her skin radiated white. She was very pretty.

"Whatever, now we can go!" They headed down a staircase that went to the side of the palace then through the gardens and into a neighbouring village. This had to be the village where the aristocrats lived. It appeared to be populated with restaurants and spas and other fancy places that not everyone would go to. Once could deduce from the exterior of the residential buildings that they were actual mansions, big enough to house entire families and their staff.

"So, you must be wondering where we're going!"

"Milady?"

"Initially, I wanted to bring my other maid, Miho" – she looked at her companion and smirked – "But you will do just fine, don't worry." Then she continued to explain: "We are meeting my friend Norio, after his shift. Just let me do the talking, ok?"

"Yes, milady!"

They entered a restaurant where the last customers were preparing to make their leave. Apparently, Norio made their way to them and greeted with a smirk. He took the lady's hand and led her upstairs and through a door, into his office. There was a coffee table in the middle, then a black leather couch in front of a huge painting. His desk was made out of glass as if to match the wall behind it that was made out of neatly piled liquor bottles. If you squinted your eyes, you could see the street in front of the building.

"Ladies, make yourselves comfortable", then just to the other girl, "I'll close up and be right back, get started."

"Will do", she replied and he left. Then her gaze changed, indicating something dark and tempting. Her kimono slipped and she stood there naked. "Say, DeiDei, let's drink." She took a bottle and poured two big glasses full of it. "Bottoms up!" They both chugged them down and she eyed her again. "You know, I think I'll like you, you seem so innocent" –she snickered– "It will be delicious!"

Hidan was just too excited. He was used to dealing with girls like this one, because he just loved girls like this one. Crazy, young, and still-tight nymphomaniacs.

"I'm sure it will, milady", he placed his glass on the table and leaned into the girl. She eyed her partner for a minute then jumped on top of them and engaged in a kiss, ferocious, wet, and deep. She bit and sucked. She moaned and rubbed herself against the thighs under her.

Hidan felt odd. He had suddenly remembered that he was not himself, not really. He was still transformed as Deidara. It was odd to focus on the new setup of his body. His breasts, his hips … his vagina. He felt slightly disgusted with himself, but then there was curiosity and he would have to finish his mission. The girl on top of him undid his haori and started massaging one breast then another. She caressed the sides of the soft mounds and then looked up and stared at him.

"You are so pretty, my love", she rasped in an aroused, sensual voice, "But you will have to relax" – she kissed his lips again, but gently– "Try to close your eyes for now." Hidan did.

At first he was confused by all the sensory stimulations. The girl touched him so gently it felt incredibly good against his skin. His skin must've been soft otherwise her fingertips wouldn't have glided as easily, from her breasts, over her ribs, her sides, her hips. Slowly, but gradually, there was heat building up inside him. He patted her head and felt the softness of her hair. She brought a hand to undo her pants while she pulled them off of him with her other hand. One stroke after the other she tickled at his thighs and brought them up, over her shoulders.

Hidan opened his eyes suddenly very scared, but too curious to stop her. The girl smiled at him and spread his lips moaning her lust in muffled shouts over him: "Oh, you're so pink and perfect!" Every huff of air made his breasts rise and fall. Deep within him, he just wanted to have his cock against her lips. He wanted to make her continue and close his eyes again to possibly feel the same heat as before, but he just couldn't stop looking at her. She had started licking at his entrance and his toes rested in her dark hair. She kept at it, exploring, and when she looked up again she let his legs down and stood up to kiss him. Hard, wet, clear.

"You're still not in the mood", the girl sighed and frowned at him.

"It's just so … different", he replied honestly and felt bad to see her sad. By this point he was utterly confused. He couldn't understand how all these sensations could overwhelm him, how he could possibly enjoy it. Nevertheless, thinking about his male body having its way with her got him very aroused and it reflected in Deidara's anatomy. "Let me try", he offered and switched positions with the other girl.

His confidence seemed to have partially returned when he was greeted by the usual sight. Naked girl in front of his nose, his body currently absent from the picture. He grabbed her very small breasts with both hands, sunk his mouth into her, and chuckled seeing how wet she was. The girl was moaning loudly, her body heaving under his grip, like a steaming engine.

Without them realising Norio had returned and pushed the coffee table aside. He had stripped naked and knelt behind Hidan now playing with his long, blonde hair, and placing kisses on his back. His repulsion was so big that he instantly stopped and tried to wiggle himself out of the whole situation. But the lady had dropped to her knees in front of her and pushed a few fingers inside him while the other man had stuck two lubricated digits in his ass. Hidan grunted and closed his eyes at the moment there was nothing pleasurable about this concoction of feelings and sensations. He pulled away from the two and saw how the man stretched on his carpet, feet slightly apart and cock resting on his abdomen. He was a handsome man, with dark hair and deep-blue eyes. His voice too was raspy and playful, so he understood why he thought he was such a big shot. Norio suddenly faced him and said: "Blondie, c'mere!"

"Hell naw, homeboy", he replied and stood up.

"DeiDei?"

"Fuck you, bitch, we're leaving!" He went to his clothes and took a kunai out of his pouch then transformed to his usual self. "Like: now!"

Norio leaned on his elbows and eyed Hidan up and down with a lustful look, the lady, too, was blushing and had stopped breathing. The Jashinist found it cute.

"What we did was so hot, how did you feel, was it hot", she pestered and he rolled his eyes. Before he could respond she added: "I don't know who you are" – she started walking in his direction – "but right now, I just want you" –she stroked him with her tiny hand, leaning closer– "inside of me!"

She had seemed small in front of Deidara, but now this girl was tiny. "Norio", she ordered, "You be DeiDei!"

"Ah, naw!" Hidan protested, but she gripped him harder and his knees buckled. He needed to sit. The girl guided him to the couch and sat him down. Then she fell between his legs and started sucking him. Norio had transformed into Deidara and sat next to him on the couch.

"Stay away, aa" – he closed his eyes and frowned – "Don't touch!" This was all he managed before he grabbed the hair of the girl at his feet and guided her lower, deeper. She gagged immediately and he helped her up, grabbing underneath her shoulders and tossing her on the couch. He placed her in a doggy position, butt up facing him, hands pressing against the wall. She looked at Norio and opened her mouth stretching her thin tongue out. The blonde imitated her labial positioning and licked at her appendage thirstily then began kissing her. Suddenly, she opened her eyes and Hidan found himself staring into those blue orbs before grabbing his cock firmly for just a moment.

"Fuck, boy, I warned you", he roared and the man in question retreated to their side. The girl started rubbing her ass against his groin and he immediately impaled himself into her earning a rough scream.

"Fuck", he commented at her tightness, feeling himself hit a bone somewhere deep inside her that hurt like hell. He pulled out and leaned his forehead in the crook of her neck. When their breathing evened out he picked up where he left, slowly at first. He grabbed her small waist and guided her carefully, not too deep. Fearing to hit that rigid wall again, he switched positions once more. He hugged her from behind and sat on the couch ramming into her fast. She had turned her head to the side and dug her nails into his hips. Her moans were loud and ostentatious. One of her hands stretched in Norio's direction grabbing his hand and guiding him to suck on her clit. Hidan couldn't slow down, so her screams just grew louder. He wanted to get this over with.

The girl suddenly stood up completely and grabbed Norio's hair, pulling him into a feverish kiss, then pushing him next to Hidan. The girl eyed them like they were some sort of plaything. She was biting her lip and rubbing her knees together taking in all the details of their bodies. The strong muscles, the blond hair, the orchid, the blue, the overall hotness. Hidan felt odd, horny, and angry.

"You know what", he thought out loud, "Fucking please each other."

"Aha!" The girl snickered and straddled the blonde riding her gently while they kissed. He quickly grabbed the kunai he had dropped earlier and pushed the carped aside. He cut his palm open and prepared for the ritual.

"Now this is turning me on", he mumbled.

…

Deidara made her way to the Daimyo's entertaining room, the room she had been in earlier that very same day. She was so incredibly calm, that it would have been shocking for anyone who knew her. Those who knew her well, also knew what was about to come.

She threw two kunai at the guards, piercing their foreheads with the nimble weapons. Then she opened the sliding doors just enough for her to make it through. The Daimyo eyed her with a smirk, liking the change in her looks. She resembled an almost tame wild beast and he shuddered at the prospect of finishing the process. Fool.

"Ms. Deidara", he rolled the 'r' in her name and she furrowed a brow, "You seem in a good mood!"

She smiled in return understanding that this man was just as demented as she was if he found her attractive then.

"I am", she replied calmly, "One would be if they are expecting their rewards."

"Rewards?" The man wondered making a sign at his servants to bring him something.

"My money", she sang, approaching him slowly, "Your company." The concubines snickered at the perplex face their employer had made: wide eyes, mouth open, light twitch of the upper lip, scouting gaze.

"But of course", he suddenly snapped, "What could a Lord like myself possibly entertain a beauty like yourself with?"

The servants rolled inside as a small barricaded group of four, bringing a suitcase of money. Deidara took it and sat down, right in front of the lord, leaning against the black-haired girl from earlier. She started counting the money.

"What do you think about art, my lord?"

Concubines were moving around naked, engaging in perversities, eating, pouring drinks. The black haired girl started caressing Deidara's loose hair.

"Art?" He paused. "Art is beauty."

"Yes, very much so. But that's like saying a woman is an amphora of wonders." –she looked at him with the corner of her eyes– "Shouldn't you be more specific?"

"Art is … music, painting, sculpture."

"That it is, indeed. However, genre and beauty do not determine art's worth, do they now?" Her tone grew more acidic and she saw him starting to lose his positive mood. She was feeling generous and gave him a hint: "Art is our universal language, but unlike words or simple actions it is used to not simply communicate a message, but to sensitize the beholder."

"Beautiful, glorious, eternal", the Daimyo said, liking the mature tone of her voice. She smirked.

"Do you think that continuity leads to understanding emotions? That stability does?" She finished counting the money and placed it in a scroll. As she was rummaging in her pouch she took a small bag of clay.

"Ladies, do me a favour and try this", she shouted and let the bag of clay pass to all the concubines. Each put a piece of the clay in their mouths and chewed on it slowly. It was rubbery and tasted just a bit salty.

Deidara continued: "It is incredibly odd how people think so highly of themselves. You see" –she stretched her hand towards the lord– "I am fully aware of my carnality, how limited and frivolous it is. Like you depicted earlier: I _am_ a silly woman and I _need_ a man." The Daimyo took her hand and she put it in the crook of her elbow. Then she took the black-haired girl's hand and the three of them went to the hall.

"People are impressed by shortly-lived moments of blissful ecstasy or by excruciating trauma", she explained in a demiurgic tone while pushing the front doors of the room shut with her hands. The two outside saw the dead guards and fell to the floor, the beauty was silent, he was cursing at the blonde loudly. Yet he still couldn't move in his shock.

Deidara focused for a moment and placed a seal on the room.

"Don't worry", she spoke maleficently, "They will be ok."

"Guards, guards!" He finally managed.

She made her way to the control panel and shut the lights on the corridor off. Then she came back to the two and started showing them the banquet paintings on the paper walls of their entertainment room. They were now lit from behind, making all the contours shine brightly. The dark corridor was their theatre hall, magnificent and dark.

"Yeah, no one is coming", she answered with an innocent smile, "Now, pretty, pretty girl, what do you see here, hm?" She pointed at the paintings.

The Daimyo hugged her to his chest and encouraged her to stay strong. "A- A- I see, I see", she mumbled and the blonde just kept smiling, "I see a party. With, erm, with many people."

"Incredibly insightful this one", she addressed the lord, "I now understand why she's your favourite!" The pair gulped as Deidara shifted in her stance and pointed to a particular character. "Who's this, pretty girl?"

"That would be", she muttered, "That- That would be the lady of the lord hosting the party."

A thud resonated from the wall as one of the concubines slammed at full force against it. The barrier kept the sounds locked away.

"The lady, I see", Deidara gasped, "Are you the lady of the palace?"

"No, ma'am", she whispered and slouched.

"Oh? My mistake, what are you then?"

"She is my woman and I will protect her", the lord interfered. The blonde was virtually unimpressed, but she had to admit he made a fairly good comical character.

"Pretty girl", she began once more, "Do you know who you remind me of?" –long pause– "It's two people actually. The first would be me." She smiled quickly then let true sadness manifest in a deep frown on her face. "And trust me when I tell you that you are in no position of strength. I don't know what he told you, whether it's true or not. But it's no less demeaning." She looked at the painting again. "Can you guess who the second person could be, she must be here somewhere?"

"Ma'am …", the girl tried.

"Oh, come on, you two look alike", Deidara said with derision, rolling her eyes for the act, "I believe you have even met her, has she not, lord?"

The man was shocked and sat there unable to think.

"Ok, I'll tell you" – she showed a girl in a bridal costume, dancing with her husband – "the princess, hm? Your lord's daughter?" – pause – "So, I am going to guess what this asshole has told you and you are going to nod if it's true and shake your head if it's not, ok?"

The lord had become paler, his cheeks hollowed suddenly, appearing thin. His eyes threatened to erupt from his head. The girl was crying.

"I think he promised to make you his heiress. And since you look like the princess you could replace her, especially since she is only allowed to go out at certain hours and only supervised. So, he hired me to kill her. So that he could fuck you better. Because he is in love with his daughter, but she turned him down. Right?"

Both gawked at her trembling in fear. She continued: "Art is revelation that shakes you to the core, that makes your head spin and your eyes go blind. It's an orgasm, it's an explosion. Art is a BANG!"

She leaned next to the Daimyo, on his left and brought her right arm around his shoulders, her left, forming a seal.

"Katsu!"

The painting exploded in red. Bits and pieces of flesh splashed against the doors and slowly fell to the ground. A bloody banquet. Deidara was smiling. The lord looked to his right, at the remainder of his concubine, a pelvis and some legs. His face was splashed with blood and acid, and guts were still wiggling in a pool of gore at his feet.

The blonde stood up and eyed him with an utterly normal look, no demented wide-eyes or hanging jaw. Just a normal, smiling face.

"Do you wish to apologise to your daughter now, hm?" The man was crying and nodding his head.

"Good boy!"

…

Hidan sat on the couch. Deidara sat on his left. They were both looking at the two lovers who were in the middle of the Jashin symbol and the Daimyo who was lying dead a few meters in front of them.

"You're bleeding", she muttered not blinking once.

"I'll be fine", he said and tossed his head back looking at her. "What happened?"

"Oh, Hidan", she replied and turned towards him with tears rolling down her cheeks, "I snapped."

"And you're crying because …"

"Because despite what I did, you are still way ahead of me on the craziness scale, hm", she sobbed leaning forward and holding her head in her hands.

He couldn't be angry at her. For once he was just as shocked at what he had done as she might be. He was attracted to her, but he couldn't consider her after she went Nutcracker on him. "Deidara, I-"

"Why", she looked disgusted, the tears subsided, "Just, how? I mean you weren't even _in_ it and-"

"Hey, look, it was hot. If you were watching me have sex with someone wouldn't you be hot and bothered?"

"I did watch you, smart-ass, remember", she argued, "But I didn't start masturbating while preparing to impale myself in order for you to die while wrestling in my blood with your lover."

Why did everything sound so bad when she described it? "Oy, you made a room full of whores go boom-boom!"

"In an artistic way! For a moral cause!"

"Moral cause my ass, guy's dead, hoes too!" Both grunted at each other. "Baby, come on!"

"Urgh, no! I liked blondie better!"

"NO", Hidan protested, "We are not doing blondie anymore!"

"Huh, why?"

"Because _I_ almost _did_ blondie, goddamn it!" He wanted to stand up, but the pain in his stomach stopped him from doing so and he fell back on the couch. The silence crawled back in. Deidara quietly went to the janitor's room not really hurrying. She got a bucket and multiple pieces of cloth and returned. First she washed his face and he welcomed the freshness and the gentle touch. Then she moved to his upper body working her way down. The pain he felt tore at his insides, he felt drunk. His body felt incredibly cold. She would stop when he contorted his face or when he hissed, waiting for him to calm down. He wondered why. That train of thought was abruptly interrupted when she dropped to her knees.

"What …", he began smiling subtly, "You think your position right-fucking-now is a good idea?"

"After the ritual, you're drained, pal", she stated confidently.

"Yeah?" He smirked as she wiped the sperm and blood from his hips. She had a perfect poker face on. He chuckled. "I know what you're thinking."

"The last time you said that I won a bet."

"Now it's different."

"Say it then!"

They stared at each other silently. He pursed his lips. She frowned. He continued to smirk. She tsked. He jerked his eyebrows and shot a glint at his cock. She widened her eyes. He smirked wider.

"Hidan, suck- choke on it, and die!" She got him Norio's clothes and tossed them at him.

"You said you _watched_ back then, blondie!"

* * *

Hello everyone! Here is a longer chapter for once. Thank you very much for reading! :3 I have considered writing a more poetical chapter, but I failed.

A short note on the whole washing thing as I have been arguing with one of my friends about it. I cannot tell you how important it is. And please, I am begging you do not automatically think it's something perverted. As you might remember she did it with Sasori too. There are times when people wash another person when their body "grows cold". As in: when they die. So, it's much more like she tried to bury them ... but they won't "die" because they are too blind to reality and blatantly ignore it. Please, please try to see this happening.

I was thinking: Deidara -if she were a dude- she would manifest the same disdain towards those two philosophies, just in another way -by swearing, harassing, or disrespecting those men. But! Deidara as a girl *sigh* Sorry, guys, I just don't see her as a hooligan, just some very sensitive young woman. I hope to draw attention the the fact that she is warm and there is a certain motherly trait to her character. It's like she tries to spare those men, Sasori and Hidan, the suffering they are going through that is very obvious in her eyes. The difference between Sasori and Hidan is that Sasori allowed himself to grow closer to her and her view of the world. And I believe this to fit the case where Deidara is a girl and not a boy because she goes about it differently she tries to approach him the way he thinks he would have liked to be approached when he was younger. Then again, he has no clue what to feel exactly, so he cannot become grounded in her world, so to speak. *puts pretentiousness-proof-reading glasses on* Yikes! *shakes long neck to drop the act*

Much love,

GRaff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


	21. Dreams

"Hmm, hmm~"

Deidara was looking at Sasori who was building a new puppet. She instantly recognized the old woman she had accompanied in Kumogakure, Mrs. Aki. What a nice lady she had been, how warmly she would laugh while blurting her perverted thoughts.

"Anything special 'bout her?" She wondered not really expecting an answer.

"Shaman", Sasori mouthed automatically.

"What's that?"

Shamans had been ridiculed for a long time by the ninja world. They always operated in altered states of consciousness and weren't the most reliable of people. Nevertheless, people hired them for complicated sealing techniques and even curses. They were able to interact not with the flesh or with the mind of their enemies, but with their spirits, breaking their aura and infecting it with their own will.

"I wonder if it will work", the puppeteer mumbled. He had been converting people into puppets, making their abilities his own, but those abilities resided heavily on their chakra system and the wiring of their brains. But this woman showed abilities that were of a very different calibre. Sasori was facing a challenge.

The duo was camping on the shore of a lake, having finished the assigned missions. The world looked surreal. It was perfectly calm and warm, nothing compared to the past night. The girl had taken a bath and was lounging naked on the stones, earning a well-deserved massage. A wasp dared to bother her and she slapped it away, only to have it bite on her chest and flee. Still, the world remained unshaken by such minor conflict.

"Do you want to hear a story, Master Sasori?" No answer came, but the man in question looked at his partner for a few seconds then proceeded to carve indents and fix new appendages, then assembling them with the help of chakra strings that had kept breaking when he was activating her skills. The vessels of the woman seemed to be superconductive, especially now that the host body was cool. He was forced to augment the body of the puppet with crystal pieces as to enforce his own chakra flow.

"Once upon a time there was a young couple, a king and a queen, who loved each other very much. They had been married by their parents to augment their domains and riches, cursed to shoulder the mundane task of protecting it, the legacy of gold and diamond, to be carried into the unforgiving, cruel future. Nevertheless, their love was stronger than this burden and one day the queen gave birth to a beautiful baby girl with hair as golden as the rays of sun, with eyes big and moist, reflecting the moons and wanderers of the sky, with beauty unmatchable by the most desired princesses of the earth."

Another attempt at activation and the arm of the puppet levitated effortlessly in a perfectly even magnetic field. Sasori attacked at the field by poking it with his energy and he saw it diffuse around the magnetic field. When interacting, the chakra coming from the woman quickly changed colours from the usual light blue to a grimy green.

"This girl was the sole heiress to the bountiful domains of her parents. Treasures hidden safely around her guarded by her most faithful servants. She was kept safe in the empire her parents had built and she was happy."

Sasori concluded that her ability was to accelerate particles to a point where they separated into sub-particles. He stopped his testing and frowned.

"One day, however, the princess came of age. Her beauty became blending. They speak of the rebirth of the sun on earth. Her hair had grown, her bosom, her hips. She was deemed the second earth, the moon, the air. Soon, people felt drawn by her light and gathered at the gates of her empire. Men, women, elders, and children bowed before her. Warriors surrendered at her feet. And it seemed that for a while the world was blinded by beauty."

Five minutes had passed with no chakra flow and the hand of the puppet still generated a magnetic field. It was as if her hand had been holding onto the energetic residue.

"There was one man, though, who grew greedy in the warmth of the new-found celestial body. He had grown accustomed to the heat, the light blinded him no more, and he could soon see that the sun was a girl and that the light was her riches."

What could it be?

"One daunting night, when the moon hid behind its scornful eclipse, the man claimed the princess for himself and became her ruler. The morning after the skies shed blood. Suddenly, the earth grew cold and as the princess started to cry, so did the clouds. A heavy veil had fallen on top of the people and one after another they wrestled to overpower the once-defeated princess."

He missed Orochimaru.

"As the war surfed the surface of the earth, the princess grew sadder, her tears bitter. So, she asked her father for help. He was now old and angry, having watched his wife die a wrinkled hag. He too had seen the skies shed blood and as he looked upon his daughter he could not summon the same light in his heart. In a last attempt, he called the demons of the underground to kill her. And they did. They waited for the full moon to cast its mesmerising spell and slithered unbeknownst to human kind in the chambers of the princess."

Deidara took a long pause waiting for some sort of reaction from her partner. He had stopped working and was listening to her, savouring every single one of her words despite the nagging thoughts about his discovery.

"One of the demons was ready to assault her, to end his contractual obligation. A heave of power and the princess fell. However, there was another demon, startled in his tracks. For what had been seen there, coiled, under the covers in her room, was a dying star. A new demon was being created in the solitude of one suicidal dance. Still, the infant of darkness was murdered and melted away, crimson unobstructed.

"With a heavy heart, the demons snatched their reward of power and returned to the underworld. There was still a taste of blood in their mouths that bred remorse. And vengeance."

Deidara's head turned to meet the eyes of her partner.

"We killed her because she was a whore who spent her parents' fortune carelessly, impoverishing her nation at an almost inconceivable rate. Had she kept at it, their region would have gone bankrupt and possibly caused a civil war", Sasori explained, "For once, the Akatsuki might have done something good."

The girl closed her eyes and resumed her tanning. "She was beautiful and people on the streets loved her for being generous" –she sighed– "Plus, claiming that orphanages and shelters for the homeless aren't important seems fitting for a demon of the underworld, Master Sasori, hm."

"She tried to compensate for her frustrations, she wasn't altruistic. There is no way such institutions cost so much. She was greedy too: jewellery, balls. Money needs to be invested, it cannot be spent like that!"

"Yes", Deidara mused on a derisive tone, "And that's why we turn orphans into war machines, hm, for economics."

"Be angry all you want", the puppeteer argued, "That system turned you in what you are today!" He stood up and went to wash some cloth in the lake. He rubbed the fabric well, then came to stand next to his partner, blocking the sun from further roasting her skin.

"And what would that be, I wonder", she asked, "A shinobi, a rogue, a wanderer, a girl, a partner? What role do we play, Master Sasori?" The puppeteer was silent, Deidara smiled and answered her question: "I am an artist, forging my own world. And when I am happy, I am big. When I am angry, I explode."

"How self-centred and idiotic", he chuckled and kneeled next to her, "You will be consumed by oblivion."

"Maybe", she laughed and reached one hand up to caress his face, "But I will have lived."

Sasori felt thankful for her openness. He was also irritated for having almost accepted her take on art by merely listening.

"Get dressed", he announced, "We need to go."

…

"Oy, Kakuzu, why do you hate blondie?"

"I do not hate her."

"She, ow" – Hidan pulled the rod from his chest – "She's annoying."

"I don't like spoiled children."

"What do you mean by that?"

Sigh. "I know people like her, I've met them. There are few, you being one of them. People who kill, just because."

"Fucker, take that back!"

"You people", Kakuzu continued, his eyes warning Hidan to listen, "In addition to aimless killing you also victimise yourselves for your condition instead of dealing with it respectably."

"What?"

"There is no reason for her to hate her village-"

"I thought she had to whore herself out to the Tsuchikage being an orphan and all that shit."

"No, I was exaggerating", Kakuzu redressed his attitude, "She was alone, but she had been offered all the support she needed."

"I see", the younger man mumbled and sunk into deep thought.

"Hidan" –pause– "Be careful, she's … insatiable." What an interesting hypothesis.

"Ch" –smirks– "no girl is, old man! Trust me on this one."

Kakuzu just shook his head and grabbed the body his partner had just sacrificed and the slowly decaying Daimyo next to it. Maybe all young people were blithering idiots when it came to their needs. Had he been like that?

"Let's go, we need to meet up with those two."

"Ow, ouch, fuck! Ouch! My sternum – broken, ouch!"

"Can I cry now or should I do it later?"

"You _could_ share some of your rheumatic pills."

And then nothing –nothing happened. The two shinobi walked in silence heading for another exchange point to drop off their bounty. As usual. Nevertheless, the air had shifted between them.

Kakuzu was truly angry and he had no problem admitting it to himself for once. When conflict erupts, one needs to be able to act according to a certain logic, follow a certain plan. Roles had to be determined, damage needed to be controlled. The aftermath, should one fail to properly organise their assault, would be catastrophic for more than one reason.

First of all, the miser believed in the economic value of every pawn. Towards men and women at arms, he would not hold back ever. However, functionaries and civilians in general had a totally different part to play. The money that fuelled their path in life, the money that they stole needed to come from somewhere. And it would come from the hard-working, ignorant folk that would exude and ramble their ordinary brains away. They couldn't be killed otherwise the system would fail. He would always go for the leeches of society, the organisms that feed off the same money he did. Secretly, he would see himself become a dictator of everyone, reducing the world to people and him as their provider, manager, and god. Such wonderful omnipotence!

There was a very big difference between him and Hidan, or him and Deidara. He had sought to trace his sadism and ruthlessness back on the everlasting need of the people to recognise his idea. Surely, they opposed him because they simply did not know what was best for them. Consideration was not needed when you could just live by a certain standard, a prewritten role for you, your spouse, your children. At that point, they wouldn't need to be thought to share a consciousness or learn to understand the emotions or thoughts of others. They would have it imposed on them, contractually, from birth. Make them work together and pay taxes, follow the one true path in life: Connecting people for mutual economic enrichment. Simple, elegant, equal … why would no one ever listen to him?

"Oy, don't tell me _that_ upset you …"

"You need", he interrupted, "to figure out what you're doing with your life. This needs to end."

"Wha?"

"You kids have your heads so deep up your own assholes – 'What is the meaning of life? Is anything worth living for? No one but my imaginary friends gets me!' I swear" – he stopped in his tracks and looked at the sky – "Those are the most idiotic questions to ask."

"Oy-"

"Do not interrupt me and listen for once in your miserable existence."

Hidan frowned.

"Life is worth nothing" –pause– "It's dirty and low, all about taking a shit and a good fuck once in a while. The abstract concept is _not_ worth a second thought." Kakuzu looked his partner deep in the eyes like never before, stripping him raw. "Hidan, ask yourself: 'What is _my_ life about?' Once you personalise that concept, it will become valuable. And once you realise that, other people will start looking different too."

Hidan spoke with a shaky voice: "Point being?"

"You and her are very much alike. You know nothing about yourselves or the others around you. You are impressionable and weak" –he stepped forward, threateningly, until he was pushing the other man down with his eyes– "You are attracted by big, shiny images, that move and dance. You couldn't recognise potential if it were to fuck you in the ass."

"What the fuck?" Hidan stepped back stretching his arms as to provoke his partner. "So, I am an idiot, or what? What the fuck are you getting at."

"You know goddamn well what I am getting at", the older man shouted.

"Trust me fucker, I don't!"

"Of course", Kakuzu whispered with a smirk underneath his mask.

"What!" Hidan drew his scythe aiming the blades at his partner's neck only to have them stopped by his hardened arm. The block was perfect. "WHAT", came a repeated question that echoed in the woods.

"I will tell you how this ends", Kakuzu said closing his eyes and starting to walk again, "You will run to her trying to show off and she will see through it, because she already knows you are just as full of shit as she is."

Hidan was following him, literally. "I already told you that I didn't know she would be there on a-"

"You _don't_ actually believe that Jashin is real."

"Fucker", Hidan mumbled cautiously, eyes widening as a signal for danger.

"You just hope to be special."

"Kakuzu …"

"You try to convince yourself that you do not understand your past."

"I am warning you …"

"But you do."

Pause.

"You are just" – he looked to the side, lips puckered underneath his mask – "Just Hidan. Not Jashin's disciple, not a serial killer. Just a little boy who decided to take it up the ass for a bail-out."

Hidan felt a wave of cold coursing violently fast through him making his knees tremble.

"So it is true, isn't it? You killed a man, got in prison, and a crazy religious group bailed you out to make you their lab rat." Kakuzu packed his partner by the chin and looked him straight in the eyes that were trembling deliciously disgusting. "You are _just_ like her!"

"Since when do you care about that?" Hidan slapped the grip of the miser away and bowed his head in defeat.

"I don't know what you two have going on, but I am telling you from experience that it does not end well."

"Oh yeah", the Jashinist retorted, "How's the trailer look like?"

"Boy, the last thing I care about is what you do", Kakuzu mouthed with prominent certainty.

"Aw", Hidan made his comeback, "Sounds like you have dreams of your own."

Kakuzu's eyes widened in honest surprise: "It's what drives us normal people."

"Ch", the younger man interjected, "No way you just said that."

"Even Itachi." The example shook Hidan's world.

"Sasori?"

Kakuzu turned his head to the side, eyes still on his partner.

"Ch – Kisame?"

Confirmation.

"Are you ser – Zetsu too?!"

Kakuzu sighed and averted his gaze for a split second. "Just you and her … the rest of us are ordinary-"

"-ly deranged?"

"For fuck's!" Thus the long awaited punch.

…

"Itachi: mass-murderer of his own clan no less, teenage-idol-wannabe, kidnapper, and overall villain-extraordinaire." Deidara chuckled, presenting him in her own head as a circus attraction. She hated everything about him. First of all, he was not talkative making everyone around him look like idiotic blabbermouths. Then there was their shared history of him defeating in her in under ten seconds thusly binding her to the Akatsuki. And then there was his stupid face. Itachi had thin, long hair, that was a dark brown turned ashy by unknown, gloomy dreams. He wore it tied loosely behind his head, letting it hang over his forehead. His face was contoured; his eyes were very big and red, framed by dark circles. Coupled with the pale skin, they made him look like a recovering drug addict. Deidara couldn't call him ugly, but he was not attractive.

If she had to choose between him and his partner, Kisame, she would go for the older man for sure despite his shark-like appearance – the beady eyes, hooded by a very dark crease, the pointy teeth, the gills; his blue skin.

"Hell, I have mouths in my palms", Deidara inwardly yelled at herself for her hypocrisy.

The Kirigakure ninja was tall, well-built, and would communicate politely. Sometimes she would hear him debate about historic issues with Sasori. They were of roughly the same age and apparently in their lifetime a lot had happened. Whenever they talked, they seemed to have a hard time deciding on facts. Usually, they sighed and having agreed to disagree they cursed the history books for their lack of objectivity.

The shark-man handed the puppeteer a bag of money, which he took and hid in Hiruko's body, close to himself.

"Kisame, Itachi", Sasori greeted jumping directly to business, "My spy informed me that Orochimaru is not on the move. I suggest you take the northern road to Iwagakure through the Land of Sound to retrieve the five-tails."

Seeing the slightest of frowns on Itachi's forehead, Deidara jumped in: "Konoha has been thoroughly patrolling through the countryside. It would be too suspicious if you two were seen there, hm."

"How did you get this bit of information", the young man asked turning to face the girl.

She furrowed her brow letting one visible eye go wide. "Wow", she whispered, then louder, "I am navigating by air, goddamn it. For a genius it takes you a lot-"

"Also", the puppeteer interrupted, "I have confirmed that when I spoke to our client. Kumo and Konoha were idly scouting through the neutral countries. Apparently, they have authorisation for doing so."

"Well, you two eased our task, thank you!" Kisame was thrilled to have been spared a possible chase.

"You could lure him out", Deidara mumbled.

"The five-tails?" Itachi asked.

"Mhm", the girl confirmed and then looked at the two men, "Han hates almost everyone." She dropped her head. Then lifted her face with a frown again and added quickly: "Also, do not, please, engage Roshi while he's in the village" – mumble – "Hm!"

"The four-tails", Kisame inquired, "Why not?"

"He's good pals with the Tsuchikage and the old geezers will team up to take you down. Wait for him to leave for a mission, if you go after him as well" – she pinched her nose trying to figure out why she was helping the two bastards – "And lastly" – she cursed at herself – "Do not fight in the village at all, it will be to your disadvantage." She lied.

"Oh, how?" Deidara looked up into the eyes of the shark-man. Then she looked at Itachi. He had closed his, like he didn't care. That pissed her off. In reality, he just didn't question her reasons and made a silent promise to respect her advice.

"Rocks", the girl blurted, "The rocks in the soil" –she harrumphed – "Are very special."

"Special?" Kisame just liked to play with her having caught onto her lie.

"I know what you're doing, hm", Deidara threatened.

"We can share places to destroy", the tall man chuckled, "And after all, I believe your people are used to terror, young lady, right?"

Cold.

"We're leaving –Come, Deidara!" Sasori had wrapped the tail of Hiruko around his partner who was frowning at Kisame in utter silence. She was promising undeniably cruel retribution. Her village was for her to take revenge on, not them. No one else would touch them.

* * *

Ok, I'm'ere. I just needed to figure out where I am going with this story now and I just want to say that it was hard, pff~

My dear readers and lovely reviewers, I am going to fill in the huge gap in the Naruto universe by piecing together bits of information I have accumulated through my intense physics classes in high school. Chakra has the same properties as light. Sasori has the ability to form chakra strings, meaning he can polarize it. The crystals he puts on the puppet have the role of depolarizing the chakra, allowing it to flow normally, yet still as intense and controlled as his stringed energy.

The ability of the shaman was basically an inborn magnet release that she didn't use consciously. Her superconductive chakra system allows her to denaturise something like light, that's why the chakra changes colour. Usually, superconductivity occurs at very, very low temperatures, so that is a huge exaggeration on my part, but I must ask you to roll with it. Thank the lord I'm not a physicist. That's that for now.

Thank you so much for your support!

Much love,

GRaff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


	22. History

Orochimaru had made many discoveries throughout his lifetime that had led him nowhere. He always liked to believe that every bit of information was valuable. But truth be told, he actually felt exhausted when he had to consider just how much time he had spent on some of his subjects.

To obtain knowledge complete, the doctor needed two things: power and immortality. It had been strenuous to acquire the first one and the second one seemed, still, very far out of reach. Honestly, power came in many different forms be it actual physical strength, fortune, or sheer dumb luck. Obtaining it had stopped feeling like an accomplishment a long time ago.

Immortality was still an intricate matter. It was obtainable by tricking nature alone. The thing about death, that everyone should accept, is its imminence. At one point or another, all living will come to pass. And Orochimaru knew this. Nevertheless, he hoped to postpone this for as long as possible. Science came in handy.

"Well?"

Well, it had been nice to catch up on the Akatsuki and he truly felt that Sasori was too oblivious. Surely, a less cocky person might have suspected the doctor's spy for his shadiness. The puppeteer seemed to overlook that. Whenever he thought about this, Orochimaru wondered if Sasori chose to ignore some undeniable facts or if he was just plain and stupid. They had been dumb enough to accept a mission in his country for a petty sum severely underestimating him. Fools.

"It went as expected", Kabuto answered, "Though, your failed experiment is getting restless."

One of the biggest disappointments Orochimaru had to remember every single day was his defeat against Itachi Uchiha, the proud Sharingan user. How wonderful to be able to hypnotise and bewitch. And he, too, had been prey.

"Hidan, huh …"

And a second big disappointment was the immortal child, dubbed the 'failed experiment'. A loud tsk, then a chuckle emanated from the doctor. His greediness had often pushed him into making stupid decisions, but the white-haired boy had been a catastrophic one.

"Apparently, he is onto something", Kabuto explained, "Or better put, onto someone" –he waited for a while– "It's Deidara."

"Oh …", Orochimaru voiced, "Maybe it's just young love, right?" He lifted his gaze from the papers he was going over and leaned into his chair. His eyes were fixating a crease in the wall as his memories of the Jashinist flooded him.

"From my observations he is still the same", Kabuto started unpacking a bag of different herbs he had gathered, hanging them on a long rope. "So weak …"

Orochimaru felt a low rumble in his chest. There was curiosity, of course, but no more hope. He had come to understand just how much his subject had been capable of. Hidan had at some point in history been his ideal option for a replacement body given his regenerative abilities. But now he was slowly evaporating, stagnant water in a tilted jug.

"He is, isn't he?"

"Mister Orochimaru, Sir", the assistant wondered, "Why did you take interest in such a man? Surely, you must have found his abilities intriguing, but after all this time he has yet to improve."

The doctor laughed. "Do you remember that old woman I sent you to fetch?" Kabuto looked at the back of his superior's head and stopped working. "She should lead Sasori into helping him."

"I doubt that. He is _not_ fond of Hidan, to say the least." Work resumed.

"Yes", Orochimaru added, "but he _is_ fond of the girl."

"Sir?"

"Kabuto." He spun in his chair and looked the younger man in the eyes. "It's Hidan's abilities that allow me to use many techniques with minimal chakra input." -finally, greed surfaced- "Imagine what we could do, should he finally master those abilities." -chuckles- "Emotions are a funny thing, are they not?"

How could anyone bring forth their best or their worst, were it not for emotions? Those pesky pokes of the chest, those always wavering thoughts of the brain? Oh, how easy it had been for him to explain the mechanism of them! How people generated emotions was so wonderfully precise, a beautiful magic, really. Yet why people felt was still a mystery. Maybe it was the way of destiny to manifest itself, maybe it was a certain god's will. The doctor closed his eyes, laughing at himself for his silliness. Science first.

"We can always hope for things to take a turn for the better. If not, we can always intervene."

"What do you have in mind?"

…

Sleep was a sweet blessing for those who could appreciate it. Hidan was not one of those people. He could slumber deeply without as much as moving in his sleep. Nightmares never bothered him and dreams, he never remembered those. Waking up refreshed and with a clear head was the norm.

"Held my shift, fucker! Your turn", the Jashinist mumbled taking out his rosary and commencing his evening routine. Firstly, he got the prayer out of the way. Then he gulped a lot of water down as to make sure to wake up in two to three hours. Finally, he settled for a comfortable sleeping position aiming to stretch the muscles he had overworked during the previous day. He settled on sleeping with his knees lifted up, supported by his rolled up cloak as to stretch his lower back. For some reason it felt terribly tight.

Kakuzu woke up immediately and took his place for the rest of the night. He opted for a comfortable lean against a big tree that allowed him to gaze through some bushes over the road and into deeper woods. They were headed towards Amegakure once more and he had observed that, with the tiniest bit of effort to suppress their chakra, they could go by the main road unnoticed. Standards surely had dropped from the time he had been young.

The night unfurled around them and they remained silent. The sky was clouded, but there was no evident smell of rain. It had gotten chilly, however it was bearable. Autumn had been calm this year.

As gentle as the natural universe appeared, Hidan would shortly face a much different cosmos. But just before he fell asleep he did not know that. So, once more, his ungrateful nature came to shine. Swearing under his breath he pushed his shoes off hating the grass for being so thin and frail, hating the ground for being wet and cold against his back. He spoke against the night winds and their pungency, he evened his bed by removing poking branches, once more he addressed the wind. He cursed at the clouds because he really longed to see the stars. How long had it been since they revealed themselves to him? For every night he had been busy enough to not notice them and now they seemed to be lost. Or at least he felt that way. Closing his eyes he imagined them for a while, those pops of white across the sky and their glimmer. They were pulsating underneath his lids and soon, without warning, the background transformed into a deeper hollow, the colours morphed and shone lighter or darker or warmer or colder. It was the sky he missed and just that. He kept looking for different constellations happy to see all the ones he knew were there. And then there was just one more that he knew nothing about. Just one. It bordered his Andromeda. It looked like nothing at all. A square, some feet. Were they feet? There was a pang in his head trying to remember something. He realised he should know the image in the sky. Surely, he knew it. He could recognise all the constellations of the spring and winter skies and those in between too and now, during the late autumn, he enjoyed watching them shift once more. Their farewell had long been overdue. He had to know those stars. Frustrated, Hidan frowned and woke up immediately. His vision dissipated into very real colour. The world had not changed one bit, just Kakuzu seemed to have turned his head ever so slightly to the side.

Panic and excitement coursed through him and he decided to go back to sleep, folding his hands underneath his head and waiting. But he was greeted by plain, even blackness. Again, his mind tried to picture the previous images, but to no avail.

For the first time in ages, Hidan will have not slept well. As a matter of fact, he couldn't sleep at all. He grunted loudly wiping his palms against his face.

"Kakuzuu", he cried, "We can get going!"

The older man stood up confused by the whole ordeal. Hidan giving up on slumber? Needless to say his curiosity peaked. He couldn't help but wonder why. Maybe he had just felt ill. The thought was dismissed quickly as the young man was able to endure a little bit of pain quite well. Maybe he was bugged by the coldness outside. However, that had never stopped him before. Unbelievable as it might have seemed, Kakuzu concluded that his partner could have only been troubled by his own thoughts. The teeniest amount of pride swelled in his chest and he decided to show it.

"This is unusual."

Hidan looked swiftly up at the sky and saw it still obstructed by those annoying clouds. As if attempting to pry them open, he squinted intensely. Nothing.

"Ch, it's hopeless …", he confirmed and stared at the road ahead.

The old man pouted at his partner's unwillingness. He let him be for the moment and attempted to distract himself for the time being. "We are going to get there earlier than predicted", he noted.

"Whatever", Hidan commented, not really caring about how rude he sounded, "What was in those scrolls you got earlier?"

"I'll tell you if you stop being so cranky. It's starting to get annoying."

"Ok, fine, whatever … fuck", he blurted his array of words, "So?"

"We received one other mission we get t-"

"More missions?" Hidan was exasperated. "What the hell? Not even slaves are being pushed this hard!"

Kakuzu was officially pissed. He turned his head in the youngling's direction and mumbled: "Let's assume you were given free time-"

"Which is not fucking happening!" The interruption and the pretentious eye-rolling only angered the elder more.

"_Let's_ assume", he spoke venomously, "What would you do with it?"

"I'd bang big booty bitches!"

"Anything outside your regular routine?"

"No, just longer, harder, better-"

"Screwing around, I know. That's all you do."

Hidan smirked and looked ahead. "You jealous motherfucker!"

That had been totally uncalled for. Kakuzu had to admit that he was not oblivious to his partner's attractiveness. Everywhere they went he noticed women looking at him. And if that wasn't proof enough, he only needed to remember Deidara. She had been almost killed by the lunatic and she still had the hots for him. Yes, Kakuzu was frustrated that looks mattered so much in a person's life as to completely stir them against better judgement, expectations, or their own ideals and goals. Attraction could manipulate so subtly and irreversibly … He pondered why it always bound beautiful people in its games. When he was younger, he remembered having dreamed about one of those marvellous, drunken summer loves, but nearly a century had passed and no such season came to bloom. He was frustrated that an opportunity like that presented itself to his partner almost every day. But he would never admit that to himself. At that moment, he just deemed Hidan a silly bastard with no ethics or aspirations and imagined him buried somewhere deep in the ground.

"But no, I'd want to look something up", the young man continued calmly, "Time would be truly appreciated."

Kakuzu's rage only grew and he was still oblivious to the reason why. In reality, Hidan had shattered the title the old man had given him with a few words, showing that there was something more to his character than an exuberant surface.

"And what could that be?" he asked sarcastically. His anger started to rub off on his partner.

"Why would I tell you, fucking moron?!" he exclaimed.

Kakuzu turned to punch him. Hidan blocked his fist with both palms, holding onto it while aiming a kick at the attacker's quad. The miser evaded the kick by bringing his foot up and aiming a kick at his opponent's belly. This one jumped back. Both stared at each other in silence.

"One day, I _will_ kill you."

"Ch! As if …"

Their journey had them venture away from the deep woods, higher towards the mountains, to the Land of That.

…

They arrived at their destination, the royal restaurant in the Daimyo's palace at the break of dawn. The old wood and bamboo palace glistened dewy under the diffuse morning light that came through the mist. Kakuzu spun in place to take in the architecture.

"You seem fucking excited", Hidan mumbled, the lack of sleep finally getting to him.

"It's been renovated", Kakuzu stated silently.

"Psh, big deal", the younger man dismissed the topic and took a seat on the wet floor not really caring for the wetness or the cold. His skin tingled and he felt his intestines constrict at the intrusive feeling. Defeated by the eerie attacks at his well-being he hung his head with a sigh.

Kakuzu would have urged him to stand up, but sudden concern flooded his head. To renovate a medieval castle and make it fully operational to a modern standard meant having to invest quite a lot of money. Electric wiring, waterproof finishing on all surfaces including the paper doors or the fine veneer, marble and granite in good proportions, centralized heating. From somewhere on the roof, a few funnels erupted, made out of aluminum and coated elegantly with the same wooden finishing that framed the outside walls for a considerable portion. Curious, the design was definitely new.

He probed the surroundings for approaching individuals, but detected none. Hence, he took a few steps forward kneeling next to the veneer and knocking against it. A hollow sound erupted and Kakuzu went as far as to start pushing it around. One of the panels finally slid to the side and revealed a control board for a multitude of functions: light, heating, humidity control. His eyes widened in amazement. Times had definitely changed.

"Oy, 'kuzu", Hidan whispered.

"Mhm", he replied and jumped within fractions of a second back to his original spot next to his partner who also decided to stand up.

Within the following ten seconds a group of three men had made their way through the separating doors. From their clothing Hidan figured out it must be the Daimyo, his counsellor, and another underdog. For a leading figure, the Daimyo looked incredible. He was in his fifties, but age had been kind with him. His hair was thick and black, his skin was wrinkled but radiant, he was tall and well built. He inspired confidence. The Jashinist smirked inwardly seeing as he resembled his partner a lot. Dark skin, green eyes, the slightly longer than average arms. It had to be a certain gene in the region. They were, after all, in a country bordering the one of the miser.

"Lord", Kakuzu greeted, "We are here to check whether or not you have finished your business and we can proceed according to plan."

"I have one more cargo being retrieved tomorrow morning", the Daimyo explained, "I am afraid you have arrived sooner than I hoped."

"It happens often with contractually set dates, does it not", Kakuzu spat, "I expect a compensation for the delay."

"Of course, you name it-"

"I assume the cargo will arrive in the course of the afternoon tomorrow, right?"

"Precisely, it will travel up the Shin river, then over the canal back to our harbour", the counsellor elaborated, "Once it passes the Han customs office you can begin. Should everything go as planned the ship should have passed the Han gates at five in the afternoon –give or take an hour."

"Very well, until tomorrow."

The Akatsuki members vanished in an instant, leaping over the rooftops quickly. They dropped to a halt in a narrow alley. Kakuzu pulled his hood off exposing his whole head and sighed. Hidan eyed him with sleepy eyes. He counted the stitches three, big ones on each side of his face. It was startling to see him frown.

"I need a map", he voiced sounding almost embarrassed.

"There is no Han station, is there?" Hidan's question sounded more like a statement.

"Not from what I know", Kakuzu uttered.

"So, if there actually is one-"

"Then what country does it border to?"

"And if it was built by this one-"

"Then they have more funds than they allow the outside world to know or they're dead broke."

Hidan leaned his head against the building behind him. "Just ask for a raise anyway, those bastards are worth nothing!" Having said that he disappeared over the rooftops again.

Kakuzu crouched and placed his old map in front of him trying to figure out where the topography would allow for a customs office big enough to have its own gates to be built. The Shin river was separating his country from the Land of Earth. The Land of That and its historical twin, the Land of This, that they had to eradicate, were on either side of the Shin river, the first one was about 10 kilometres west of Takigakure, the other one to the North, occupying a natural peninsula on the Earth's side. About fifty years ago the Land of That had invested into a huge canal being built around itself, as to separate it from the many robbing shinobi of his own home village. The project had rendered the country bankrupt.

The situation was problematic for a multitude of reasons. First of all, the customs office could either be between the two small countries or bordering directly to the Land of Earth and That in which case …

"There you go, old pal", Hidan said and held a map stretched out to Kakuzu.

He thanked him with a silent nod and returned to analyse the situation. With the new map splayed in front of him he bit his lip and moved a hand through his hair.

"Well?" The Jashinist sat on a slight diagonal to his partner, close enough to hear him think. The alley was small.

"It can go wrong for many reasons", the miser explained guiding Hidan on the map with his right index finger, "The customs office is bordering the Land of Earth so they _will_ inspect the contents. Usually, this wouldn't be problematic, but as you know the Daimyo has been retrieving his personal goods from his brother's country."

"Illegal goods, I presume", Hidan added.

"Drugs, rare medicine, gold, money, artefacts. The route is less obvious to his brother so he cannot suspect those things missing until it's too late."

"He's moving everything in less than a day?"

"Yes, that's what he said." –pause– "So the ships should be suspicious to say the least and the Land of Earth would surely like to fine a dainty, but filthy rich harbour-country like this one for such a crime."

"But they haven't", Hidan guessed and bit his lip, "Otherwise the ships would have been detained and the victim country notified."

"Which means that there is an understanding between those two, the Earth and That", Kakuzu underlined and leaned back against the wall.

The Jashinist looked at his partner. His face showed obvious distress, however not the fidgety, twitchy type, where you alternate between biting your lips and grinding your teeth, but the type of distress where you actually know what is going on and are afraid to admit it.

Kakuzu followed his partner's every move. He watched as the young man brought his finger down to the map and started tracing the canal that had been built. Hidan started following its flow until he reached a heavily marked spot on the map, Takigakure. The canal met the outskirts of Takigakure. Kakuzu closed his eyes and sighed.

"Well", Hidan said with a small voice, "At least its blondie taking care of this, right?"

Kakuzu huffed possibly the most desolated laugh he had ever heard. He was condemning his village to imminent destruction, but yes: At least it wouldn't be _him_ carrying out the sentence. He brought his hands up to cover his face.

"Boy", the miser mumbled and decided to look him in the eyes, "Don't tell her, I'll first speak with Sasori."

Hidan felt insulted and angry, but he was drained of the necessary energy to protest. He promised nothing, but wasn't yet sure if he would share the information or not. For now, he simply decided to use it as leverage.

"I choose what to do independently", he spoke confidently, "You should know!" He stood up and waited for his partner to mask himself again.

The mist had risen and soon the two men left their little provisional club heading for the meeting place. Hidan was bloodthirsty. Kakuzu could feel it and anticipated a rough day.

* * *

Hello everyone! Two notes on this chapter: First of all, we are now at that part of the original story where Naruto and Chouji participate in an eating contest. Second of all, the Pegasus is an actual constellation visible during autumn in the northern hemisphere. Pegasi (further note: fanfic does not admit this plural of Pegasus, but Pegasuses is perfectly fine *sigh* where was I?) Pegasi are considered the mounts of shamans. So, there's a little symbolism for ya.

As always thank you for reading. I appreciate and adore and hail all reviews and their reviewers.

Much love,

GRaff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

P.S.: I proclaim "veneer" the best word ever. Just say it in RP, our favourite, BBC-esque accent and you'll see why.

P.P.S.: I am not favourising any English accent. But, from a completely objective point of view, the Scottish one rocks. Like: there's nothing more hard-core than Scottish, seriously ... And for those of you who disagree ... Gooby pls!


	23. Nailpolish

Fighting is exhausting, expensive, extenuating, and excruciatingly intricate, to the point you swear, and cry, and spit whenever someone as much as mentions it. There was glory and poetry behind a battle, a story of sorts. If you looked too well, you might even find reason. But no matter what your conviction was fighting was an ordeal and usually it did not test one's power.

Health was such an important aspect of a warrior's existence. If the body does not cooperate with you, then you are a mere ambulant vegetable, easy prey, walking target, _basta_! The most successful ninja countries had implemented a very intricate process to evaluate, keep track, and aid the physiological wellbeing of their shinobi. Richer countries, like the Land of Earth, had a built-in safety net for all their citizens which allowed anyone, anywhere to get medical help if needed, no charge. The Land of Lighting offered a similar treatment, but restricted their public to shinobi and their families.

Poorer nations usually relied on the help or at least the supervision and management of a bigger country. That's why Amegakure's Hospital Chief was a doctor from the Earth. Or why the hospital in Takigakure was entirely sponsored by Konoha. It was a dirty business really. Only powerful countries could afford wasting resources to educate and take care of their medical staff. Medical services were paying extremely well, even better than some very dangerous missions.

Back in her home village, Deidara had been very often to the doctors. Check-ups and vaccinations occurred regularly; she remembered having had weekly classes of basic biology and anatomy. Thanks to that, she had a fair understanding of the most occurring diseases and how to avoid them. The subject of health had been very important in her country, because the strongest nation needed the strongest people. In retrospect, she could see how those health-report-files every citizen had were just a means of propaganda to brain-wash the fools into thinking they are so much stronger than they actually were.

The physical examinations of the Earth were ruthless and very accurate. Long-distance runs, sprints, swimming; basic ninjutsu, taijutsu, element-manipulation, weapon mastery; history, literature, old and modern languages, mathematics, physics, chemistry, biology: all topics of tests everyone had to take. Stamina and endurance were graded on a very basic scale, from one to ten, just like strength, agility, intelligence, analytical abilities and intuition, and other attributes. The final score was a neat number that placed a person on a proficiency chart graded differently depending on whether the individual was civilian or militia. All people were subjected to these tests. Talent was applauded, and recruited. Potential was nurtured. The lower the score however –well, Deidara remembered Iwagakure had its hobos and hookers. Some, she knew, had been so creative too …

She had kept her test results somewhere in a stash, but she never really memorised what she had been diagnosed with every time. There was this one field in her summary though, that had been left blank in the cases of most people. She had recurring migraines. A handwriting had jotted down in a very lazy manner: '2 tabs/day Opm'. The 'tabs' was short for tablets and the 'Opm' was short for Opium. And that was the quantity she had been prescribed when she had been twelve years old.

Deidara had been living with a throbbing of her head, dizziness, a stiff neck, nausea, and vision disturbances since she could remember. Now that she was in the Akatsuki, the symptoms had worsened. First of all, she only had the prescription of the Earth which no other country would accept and even if she were to go there she wouldn't receive their help. Also, opium was very expensive. Initially, she tried to get it from a dealer, but the black paste she had purchased was a mix of burnt sugar syrup and fermented tea leaves. The greed she had smoked it with had almost killed her then and there … hugging the porcelain in that tiny bathroom they used to have. Second of all, working with a partner who did not need to eat or sleep had led to a very irregular lifestyle. She could go for a few days without food. More than once, she had been congratulated for finishing missions quickly, but that was because she could cut sleep entirely out of her schedule if Sasori insisted.

That day, she experienced a low like never before. The exhaustion hit her, hard. The right part of her vision field was contracting like an accordion, distorting the image. The nausea was getting worse. She tried to keep her eyes closed. Then she smelled herself. Perspiration, salt, and if she were honest, she could feel her crotch emanate a foul odour, like rotten cheese and shit. It had been ten hours of constant running. She could only think about her tea and flowers. She needed those flowers.

She sat down on the stairs that led up to a rather big shrine and cemetery and supported her elbows on her knees, head dropping slightly between the shoulders. The stank grew.

Sasori's Hiruko carried him at the top of the hill. An elderly couple were praying silently, so he returned to his partner and sat at her side. She was inspecting her nails, tsking when she noticed how chipped the nail polish had become.

"Konan would be displeased", the puppeteer mumbled, looking at his flawless, forever painted finger- and toenails.

"She'd drop dead, hm", the girl uttered absently. He turned to look at her, not really understanding what she meant. She eyed him with wider eyes and explained: "I smell like shit, quite literally."

"Aha", Sasori mouthed disgusted, happy that his nose was unaware of her smell. He liked to believe that she smelled like apricots or peaches. Or any bright orange, reddish summer fruit. He remembered liking their perfume.

"Shit and piss actually", she continued so disgracefully, "Because we couldn't stop for a bath."

"We would have been late …"

"Well", Deidara said, "Seems we're early."

Sasori eyed her for a while. Yes, Konan would have been mortified by her looks. The woman was quite strict when it came to appearances. If one would ask her, she would explain why presenting oneself respectably was so important. She had done it before actually; the puppeteer had heard her speech so often that he had learned it by heart: 'In the ruly part of the world, ambassadors do the talk, while their dogs do the killing. Dogs are crooked, clawed, and dirty, while ambassadors are poised, calm, and clean. Sadly, you have to be both.'

Shinobi hands were dirty. Usually dry, with open blisters, or hardened patches of skin, slightly yellowish in the palms from the constant friction, rough fingers, wrinkles filled with everlasting grime, short nails that were firmly pressed into the skin or had been given bigger, white tips due to unwanted usage. Working hands. Konan's nail polish, however, masked them. Surely, they were still tattered, but the dark colour contrasted with the callouses, making the hands appear smoother, the slight shine made them look clean. It was an improvement.

"Master Sasori, have you noticed how we have been getting only petty missions as of late?"

"That's because we accept every request we get."

"I'm starting to forsake myself, doing all those missions. Seriously, hm!"

"I agree, but we have no choice but to listen to the organisation."

"World conquest seems a long way off."

"Oy!" Finally, Hidan's voice announced the beginning of their meeting.

"You're late!" The girl protested.

"We have new missions. One is money-making. The other is war."

"Uh, how often do I have to explain?" Deidara stood up, turning in her spot. "Money-making does not excite me!" Her dishevelled looks, greasy hair, and the obnoxious statement made the immortals suppress a growl of annoyance. Dirty little girl should seriously shut up.

"Agreed …", the puppeteer commented.

Composure. "Well then, Hidan and I will take the money-making job."

"Hey, hey! Don't just decide! I'm not interested in money either!" The loud complaint seemed void of threat. Nevertheless, it was still a warning.

"Someone has to do it! Sasori and Deidara both prefer war. Let's not bicker about this."

"You guys fucking owe me later!"

The reason the zealot had thrown a tantrum was because he was genuinely taken aback by the action his partner had undertaken, not the actual offer he had made. Why bother inquiring about preferences? It had been decided a long time ago that the pyro would handle the mission.

Kakuzu only used the short line of dialogue to open up a conversation with Deidara. He hoped that she would address any questions about the mission to him, not his partner.

"So, who are we fighting?" the blonde uttered calmly, evenly, cold, and boring. The miser rejoiced at his partial success. His arrogance only grew when he noticed his partner blink slowly in annoyance.

"A small nation."

"And what's special about it?"

"The political standing of a small nation changes all the time." The miser started climbing the steps down. "Anyway, the request comes from a large nation who wants its territory."

A large nation? Wasn't their contractor the harbour-country? Could he be referring to the Earth Country? Hidan's brows furrowed with a slight twitch. He was suddenly unsure of his initial plan. Apparently, the miser had not let him in on everything he knew. Had he figured something else out? How?

Stopping his partner from interfering had been everything Kakuzu planned to do. He had voiced a mere guess, really, but there were considerable chances he had not lied. If he knew the Jashinist well enough, which he considered to do, he figured out that he would try to use his display of emotions from earlier to his advantage and finally lose focus on the matter at hand. Thusly, he had erased him from the picture.

"Interesting …", Deidara said, then suddenly straightened her face. The old couple started making their descent. The four shinobi froze in their spot.

"Hello", they greeted and slowly advanced, on the left side of the stairway, passing the Jashinist.

"Oh dear", the old lady yelped as she passed the girl and shrivelled her nose turning to stare her up and down. Deidara closed her eyes in embarrassment.

"What now, hm? We still have half a day left", the girl finally continued and eyed Hidan who was barely keeping himself from laughing.

"Deidara", Kakuzu voiced in a very low register, shaking the world around them, "May I show you something?" He was standing right in front of her.

"You may", Deidara answered quickly, the speed of her response indicating confusion. Her gaze rested on the miser's chest, specifically a very small tensioned bit of the fabric covering his pectorals. Something urged her to look at Hidan, but her own pride made her head still definitely.

"Come", he concluded and dissipated in a jump. The girl followed suit.

…

The miser was absolutely sure that corpses smelled better than the girl, because corpses were cold and did not agitate their foulness into the air. He gasped unable to bear the smell any longer.

"I know", Deidara yelled, then dropped her gaze and spoke softly, "I know …"

"Do I need to educate you about hygiene?" He said sarcastically.

"We've been on the go for … damn, three days? We haven't stopped once."

"You can make time to wash up before going to bed, you know? So you don't smell like Hidan", he paused for a split second and continued quickly, "Even though I don't remember him ever smelling this bad."

"We haven't stopped once", she repeated.

"I see …" Kakuzu was surprised, then regained his composure. Sasori did that, he remembered. Even Orochimaru had complained about it. He smirked all of a sudden, huffing, as he remembered Hidan's complaining about the many missions. While he was not one to give compliments, he was genuinely impressed by Deidara. Initially, he had thought her irritating and annoying. But if she was like that after three days of continuous working, then he could forgive her.

"What is it, hm?"

"Well, nothing", he lied and recollected himself as to resume his plan. "About the mission …"

They were now strolling down a hiking road to a big lake nearby, Kakuzu was leading the way. After all, he had purchased a new map and it needed to be put to good use. The pine woods around them raged very high, each tree being taller than a dozen men, fairly thin for their greatness, and bare for half of their height, as the sun did not reach the lower area under the leaves. There was no grass on the floor, just needles and mushrooms, a bush of small ferns, some moss, here and there. Below the hem of the cliff, a small, swampy lake could be seen.

"What do you know about This and That?" He asked bluntly, fully aware that the girl would recall something that has been a topic of interest in her country for a long while: the access to the East.

"So, we too are getting into that matter, huh?" –she sighed and continued– "Well, I am sure you know about the expansion politics that my country adheres to." –she chuckled– "I guess it's every big nation's dream to border the Land of Fire. Cut the distance, impose a treaty on them or threaten with war, both options would generate profit, so doesn't matter what they go for."

"Are you sure it's that?" Kakuzu asked a tad concerned as he began an abrupt descent using the contorted, surfacing roots of some trees as steps.

"No", the girl replied with a smile, "But does it really matter?"

"I need to know how big of a raise to ask for", the miser answered truthfully.

Deidara lifted an eyebrow, feeling her headache intensify with the ever rising irritation. Since when did the miser care whether his demands were pertinent or not? All his demands were exaggerated! And he knew it, but didn't care enough to consider that thought twice.

"No one will bother you here", Kakuzu said as he dropped to sit on a rock, pulling the bingo book out of his pocket and commencing to read.

The girl looked around and stripped naked, eager to start washing herself. Within seconds she had jumped in the lake, head forward, diving deeply from the tall, stony bank. She was out of Kakuzu's sight, greeted by yellowish rocks, deep greens, and a cloudy sky that seemed warm despite its greyness. The cold water and the long, thorny algae did not make for a most pleasant experience, but the wash felt at least invigorating. The throbbing of her skull subsided. Her neck, however, stiffened more. As she surfaced, the miser added: "At the opposite border of this lake there is a waterfall, and behind it a river, then a tall wall."

"Our target?"

"Exactly", he confirmed, "Destroy the outer wall just partially, then take over the castle. That should be enough."

She smiled as she finally recognized the form of a man-made wall behind the vapours of water rolling off their cliff. The sight was beautiful.

"You know, if I wouldn't know better", she spoke loudly, "I'd think you're trying to be nice to me."

Bingo. "But you do know me better, Deidara. I am being serious about conquering the nation. Do not destroy it." He stood up and looked down at her, pleased to see she was floating between the water weeds still listening. "Now hurry up, you know Sasori does not like being made to wait!"

As long as she kept believing that he was all about the money, he would be safe. And for now, she seemed to have bought it.

…

"What are you building there, buddy?"

Sasori stopped working on his puppet and looked up to meet Hidan's retarded smile. He hated the appellative the younger man had just employed to address him and he returned to conduct some more experiments on Aki as the zealot dropped his friendly façade.

"Ok", he whispered, "Bitch face it is!"

"Can't you see I'm busy?" the puppeteer said exasperated flicking his red hair from his face. He was doing finishing touches on the shaman puppet and he was eager to test it as soon as possible, maybe even with the immortal young man. "If you wait we can fight later", he offered.

Hidan's eyes went wide with shock, then excitement took over. He laughed. "Oh boy, oh boy! Say, Woodie, I never thought you'd take an interest in me." Sasori chuckled and let his gaze meet the other man's. This one looked back suddenly serious and defiantly.

Tension. But why?

"Do not underestimate me", the older man said stoically.

"Oh, trust me", Hidan mumbled shaking his head left and right with eyes big and fixated, "If her smell hasn't made your wood melt away, I am sure I have nothing to beat you."

"That is not true", Sasori interjected, "Deidara doesn't smell that bad!"

"Are you serious?" The young man had been leaning on a thick patch of moss in the forest the two others had disappeared into. Now he was sitting up straight, arms behind him for support, frowning at the puppeteer. "She's wearing the same fucking clothes from three days ago."

Sasori sighed.

"I mean it's for your own good that she washes" –Hidan laid back on the moss, arms behind his head– "One of these days you will grow a mushroom." He opened one eye and looked at Sasori, then closed it again.

"You know, technically, we are roommates?" –he paused, no reaction– "Because we share the dorms, in Ame?" –still no reaction– "So, wanna fight, Shroomie?" –silence– "No, maybe … maybe go for some Pilz* sometime?" –Sasori kept working– "Come on! I'm sure you're a ... a fungi." -nada- "No?"

Hidan sighed and then: "I think I love Deidara."

Chaos unleashed. The puppeteer jumped up, lounging for the younger man. His arms dislocated allowing for two venomous blades to show and aim precisely. Hidan evaded them quickly dropping his cloak and holding his spear horizontally with both hands in front of him. He was behind Sasori now, looking at his back. The appendages that he had discarded just a few seconds ago were snapped back in place. A swoosh of his right arm and the puppet that had been lying on the ground came to hover in the air, clattering as chakra flew through her.

"You idiot", he mumbled and turned, eyes wide and psychotic. Aki sped up in his direction twirling her arms to the front and shooting needles, avalanches! Hidan stepped back behind a tree, noticing how it snapped loudly from the poison that now circulated through it.

"Ch!" He kept pushing backwards, slamming his scythe in a nearby trunk and propelling himself up in the air. Aki tried to intercept his movement and darted at him. Sasori frowned as it proved very difficult to do. He made her retreat sending a mere array of blades flying in his opponent's direction.

"HAHA, I thought you'd be better at protecting blondie", he provoked.

The puppeteer straightened in his pose and smirked his plastic smirk. He brought his index finger towards his palm allowing the puppet to click and crack, connecting the shaman's previously segmented chakra system. Immediately after, he roared in a muffled voice and let his chakra flow through the crystals and truly awakening his creation. Her skin turned the deep green he expected and he smiled.

"Oy, wassup with that?" The Jashinist asked calmly.

Sasori sent Aki flying in his direction and even though he had already found his escape, the puppet seemed to draw him in, like an overpowering magnet. Hidan slammed into her and she wrapped his arms around him. He tried to move, but couldn't. His body was paralysed. His eyes were fixated. His mouth was still, he couldn't breathe. Had he been poisoned?

The puppeteer frowned not really able to understand what had just happened. He walked in front of the other member and clasped his chin. Suddenly, he darted to his kit and returned with a small flashlight moving it back and forth in front of his unmoving, completely rigid eyes.

"Curious", he mumbled and decided to lower the intensity of the chakra flow just the tiniest bit. Then he tried to test Hidan's eyes with the flashlight again. His pupils finally contracted. He lowered his chakra more and a gruff moan escaped the younger man.

Hidan's eyes were burning, his lungs too, it seemed that every single atom of his body had frozen. He felt just superficial, agonizing pain, a strong pull towards the puppet body behind him. It's lock was pulling at his flesh, he could feel it sink into it, away from his bones and muscles. He was scared. Slowly, the senses all over his body overwhelmed him and he felt the world spin uncontrollably around him.

Sasori finally, finally! released his chakra and the puppet and Hidan fell to the pine needled covered ground. He sighed and took his puppet opening its chest up and starting to inspect the effects of the battle on it.

Hidan had his right half of the face pressed to the ground. He felt nauseated, his eyes were dry, and he moaned in confusion. Tears started to roll down his face, into the ground, and as he gasped for air he felt his chest tighten, then his stomach, and with a heave he vomited straight in his face. Blackness took over him the next instant.

* * *

Hello everyone! Thanks so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

* - Pilz is German for mushroom and pils/Pils is English/German for beer! I *huehue* tried to be funny, you see. *hue ... hue* It's not funny? *pause* Damn it!

Much love,

GRaff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


	24. In Mortality

Kakuzu took a seat next to Sasori, allowing his puppet and tools to separate them. Deidara had put clean clothes on, just a black, round-neck shirt, and their typical trousers and ankle-boots. She looked at Hidan who was lying at the foot of a tree, head pressed into the ground, feet lightly apart. He wasn't exactly close to where she had started digging the whole in the ground. The miser had gutted the fish he had caught earlier and placed it on a few very big, very thick rhubarb leaves. Usually growing in spring, the plant would have been impossible to find, but the autumn had been warm and sunny enough to trick the plants.

Deidara had dug a deep hole in the ground and plastered it with her clay. She then wrapped the leaves in such a way that they formed a big pocket, filled it with fish, then she placed it in the ground and covered it. With a few hand seals she made the clay ignite. The spot in the ground expanded, forming a very small hill and deflated quickly again. The fish started cooking.

"Right! It will be ready in an hour", she mumbled, "I'll go wash my clothes, okay?" No answer came. "Okay!" She patted her hips and grabbed the dirty clothes she had placed down, reaching for a scroll in her pouch and releasing the seal on its contents. Soap, white, clean fragrant soap.

She made her way down to the lake in a sprint and came to rest on a muddy beach. The sky was still light and grey, swirling around quickly. The clouds would dissipate, it seemed. She spotted a hovering rock in the swampy bank ahead and leaped onto it, then down on her knees she started submerging her clothes in the water and washing them thoroughly. Usually, she would just scrub the big pieces of dirt off then place hers and Sasori's clothes in a big cauldron with water and soap and almost bring it to a boil. But now, they couldn't make a fire, nor did they have a vessel for such a plan. Plus, if she were to wash clothes like that, she would have had to do the other two man a favour and wash theirs too. Ridiculous.

Deidara was scrubbing quickly, feeling the skin on the intermediate phalanges rub off with the dirt. But she ignored it. The scrubbing sound and the splashing of water felt oddly comforting, like a wicked lullaby. She started to hum a silent, unnamed melody and soon the time had passed and she was done. Packing the clean clothes in the crook of her arm she found her way back to their small camp. The men had not moved one bit, only Sasori and Kakuzu seemed to have gotten some work done.

"I'm back, hm", she moused and smiled, yet everyone ignored her. "Okay!" She slowly started walking up a tree on the scout for a few long, leafless branches to hand her clothes. The bent world was fun and if it weren't for her hair to leave the nape of her neck, she might have actually fooled around in the weird position more. But the wind howled unpleasantly, so she sought to finish her job quickly. Then she dropped back down.

She sighed and rested her hands on her hips. The fish still had about twenty minutes to cook. The men were boring. Her eyes rested on Hidan. She could now feel the smell of vomit emanating from him.

"Kakuzu, your partner seems unwell", she pointed out.

"Indeed he does", he agreed not moving his gaze at all, "But it seems to be his own doing again."

"Was he drunk?" the girl inquired with a small laugh.

"No", the puppeteer said, "But he was out of line."

Deidara's face contorted in confusion and slight irritation. "So, you did this?" Her feet led her at Hidan's side. "What did he-"

"Apart from interrupting my work, making fun of me, and mocking you?" Sasori lifted his gaze as Kakuzu chuckled and stood up to discard his cloak.

"He proclaimed his love for you", the miser explained, "He must have a death wish."

"Ok, I can see that happening", Deidara added unimpressed, "But what did you do to him?" She inspected the half of his face that was visible, how it had remained frozen in a frown. "The fool looks miserable."

"Your partner has figured him out", Kakuzu said not even trying to hide the amusement he felt, "It's rather interesting."

Sasori was looking at her, smiling like a happy doll. "I know how to kill him."

Deidara snapped: "Stop being so excited about it and tell me, hm!" She, too, was smiling like a maniac.

Kakuzu snickered and disappeared in the direction of the lake mentioning quickly that he'd be right back.

"His chakra is highly conductive, making him a magnet of sorts", the puppeteer explained, "So, if I were to chop him up and separate his body parts for a certain distance, he won't be able to stay alive."

"I see", the girl whispered, then asked louder, "Does this explain his healing abilities?"

"Sort of", Sasori said with a sigh, "Do you know the mechanics of cancer?"

"Cancer?" The girl's eyes widened. "He has cancer?"

"Well, yes", he explained, "But his body controls it so to speak. Whenever he changes colour, he changes the polarity of his chakra system. His body doesn't concentrate on expulsing chakra by even moving or remaining conscious, but on regenerating itself."

"Huh?" Deidara's mouth was hanging open.

"Look: When his body experiences stress as in a wound, tiredness, blood loss, anything really that causes the body to degenerate, it will automatically trigger his cells in his body to multiply very fast, but just the right amount, just in the right place. Then, when it reaches normal parameters it stops."

Deidara brought her palms up, in line with her shoulders and made the mouths in her hands open. Sasori laughed.

"So yeah", he finished.

She pursed her lips and started nodding slightly, then with more determination. A short laugh escaped her and then she inhaled, snickering in between. "How did you come to understand this?" the girl wondered.

"This woman here?" -Sasori patted Aki- "Just like him." He then got back to his puppet.

"But you killed her?"

"Magnets can lose their magnetism, you know?"

Kakuzu reappeared having caught onto the last bit of the discussion and added a bit too excitedly: "I knew there is no such thing as immortality." He must have also washed because Deidara could smell his pleasant scent as he passed behind her and went to sit back in his spot.

"I see." Deidara looked back at Hidan and kneeled next to him. "So you are mortal too, hm?" She sighed. Once she worded the last question she felt pity overwhelm her and she repeated it again and again in her head. The question became a statement. He was just as normal as anyone else. A confused, deluded fool of a human. The men in the background began discussing something, but she couldn't follow.

Deidara grabbed Hidan's shoulders and rolled him on his back, out of the puddle of vomit. He frowned voluntarily, but subtly. The next minute, she went for her pouch and grabbed a piece of cloth and dampened it in some of the drinking water in her canteen. She started cleaning his face, firstly brushing the pine needles that clung to the skin with her fingers. Then she grazed the cloth against his forehead, cheeks, and lips. He moved his mouth just a tad as he felt the fabric touch it. Deidara knew that he must be awake, but she made no comment.

Hidan had now heard Sasori's explanation twice. Maybe his mind had been too dizzy and his body paralysed, but he could distinguish the sounds. He was conscious and now awake. But he kept his eyes closed. Because he feared that the slightest glimpse at the foggy light in that forest would pierce the water out of his eyes. Because he could not have possibly been this wrong. Because she was right there, right next to him. Because she couldn't see him like that. His lids shut tighter without him noticing and his lips soon followed suit.

"He's quite heavy, Deidara", he heard Kakuzu say.

"Do I need to educate you about hygiene?" she replied.

The girl's hair was on his chest, then she reached the hand with the cloth behind his shoulder, behind his back, lifting him up. His other arm came to rest on her own shoulders and soon he found himself standing. His feet carrying him away in her steps, his eyes remained closed.  
When they reached the muddy beach Deidara let him fall on his ass and went to wash the cloth in the water.

"Hidan", she spoke, "You need to get clean before dinner!"

The cloth ran down his shoulder and he growled grabbing Deidara's wrist. He pulled her down at his feet and her knees made rough contact with the mud, one hand getting scratched in some sharp pebbles.

"Will you _stop_ washing me", he yelled and looked directly in her eyes with evident anger. He let go of her wrist and gazed in the distance.

Deidara sat on her heels and straightened her back reaching for his hand that was resting on his knee. "I only-"

"I said stop", he repeated in a higher pitch, eyes fixating once more on her, wide and struggling to force her away. "Leave already!"

…

Back at the camp Deidara sat in front of Kakuzu who had unearthed the fish and opened the now burnt leaves. He used a kunai to cut the meat in smaller bits as to allow it to cool more quickly. Sasori had packed the puppet away and analysed a map of the city the miser had put together earlier. It contained references to where the Daimyo's family resided, which buildings they had to check, which buildings they had to spare.

"Is he coming?" the miser addressed Deidara.

The girl lifted her gaze and forced a smile. "I think he's cleaning up, it might be a while."

"Dig in", he urged her as he removed his mask with one finger. Grabbing some of the food over a leaf, he leaned against the tree behind him and began to eat. "It's sweet."

"Mhm", she mumbled staring absent-mindedly ahead, "Plant's used in desserts."

"I see."

Silence. Chew. Chew-chew. Pause. Chew-chew-chew.

"I think it's time for you to swallow?" Kakuzu commented softly.

Deidara looked at him with full cheeks, blinking.

Swallow.

She smiled oddly. It was one of those smiles people had when they remembered something. And he wondered what the blonde could have remembered. She grabbed a fish on her leaf and disappeared in the forest. Kakuzu sighed.

"Excuse me", she yelled behind.

…

The plants underwater brushed against him unforgivingly. He could barely see his new surroundings and this would usually disturb him, but now he had other things on his mind. As he surfaced, he started to swim in a crawl stroke, fast and rhythmically.

It was a struggle to understand his distress. Hidan knew exactly what was important to him. If people doubted his god, let them. Jashin might be a scam in their eyes, he admitted, but his conviction that the world sought war still remained with him. Darkness and evil had made him. He had only given bloodlust a name. Even now, he had a god. A god that understood him. Didn't he?

Furthermore, he got sexual attention and he enjoyed an active sex life, just this week he'd made three conquests. He was not helpless, not at all, he was powerful, strong. Of that he was sure. What had changed was merely the fact that some idiots figured out how to defeat him. Kill him. Shatter his condition, his world. His identity. Stripping his god of his powers. Ruining him, annihilating the sacrality. He was now what?

He breathed, turned directions and emerged his head underwater again. Fuck.

Was he the lackey now in their organisation? Sasori's words echoed in the back of his head: 'Separate his body parts; he won't be able to stay alive.' And what was up with that puppet? He stopped swimming, growled and rubbed his face.

He felt emasculated again. But this time it had nothing to do with the girl. Maybe it never had. Maybe it was him all along who was inferior, so weak and stupid.

He leaned back, staring at the grey sky. The clouds were incredibly fast. Would it rain or not?

Sasori did not love the girl, it was obvious he didn't. He couldn't, at least not erotically. That couldn't happen without sex. But he seemed to have thought that he was bad for her. He had tried to punish him, like a master punishes a dog for being naughty. Kakuzu left him out of his plan after all. And Deidara felt the need to tend to him like he were a child. She had also accused him of complicating her missions. Of being in her way. She deemed him a lunatic. And his partner had also said that.

"Ch!"

Was he a nuisance? Was he really just an idiot who knew nothing? He could fight, but he was no fighter. He could fuck, but he was no man. He was a preacher, but he spoke to no one.

He had lost a bet, but he couldn't keep his promise. He had guessed Deidara wanted him, but how could she?

The darkness grew in his mind like a parasite. It ate him raw, slurping. He couldn't even find the need to cry anymore, to just get over it and start again. Just moments ago, he had had the rest of eternity to figure himself out, but now someone smarter had done it and, as it seemed, he possibly had just as little time left as anyone else. The difference between eternity and a normal lifespan is infinity.

To Hidan it seemed that death was upon him, that it was greeting him right then and there in those cold, thorny waters.

"Hidan!"

He smiled. Death sure had a pleasant voice although it didn't resonate well between the rocking of the waves against his ears. So he lifted his head, maybe it would speak again.

"Yeah?" he urged it.

"I have brought you food!"

"Goddamn it, Deidara", he yelled, twirling in the water to look at her small figure on the shore. He swam in her direction, quickly reaching her. Unashamed, he stepped out of the water, naked, and hugged the girl around her waist, bringing it against his chest. She looked down at him, trying not to drop the food. "I was having a revelation, you fucking bitch!" His head rested between her breasts for a second, then he let her slide to the ground.

"Food?" She repeated and held the dish right in front of his face. He pushed her hands down, so he could find her eyes. "What is?"

"I'm not really hungry", he mumbled, unspoken thoughts resting on his lips. He let his neck bend down, sniffed just because, and went to put his pants and shoes back on.

"Sure you are", she contradicted and ran to his side picking a piece of fish with her fingers. He was tying his pouch back in place so he did not expect the odd texture on his lips.

"Oy-" Deidara pushed the food in.

"_Grunt_ in dissatisfaction next time", she suggested handing him the leaf. He took it and started chewing.

"So, about our bet", she leisurely exclaimed making Hidan freeze, "I suppose you cannot fulfill your promise, hm?"

He swallowed dryly, unable to blink, unable to breathe, or move, or do anything for that matter. How could she … "You are cruel."

"Yeah", she said coldly, her eyes stiffening, "I am." Her feet carried her up in his face: "And I will be thinking about another thing to ask for. So, be ready."

"If you want my fucking cock-"

"Why would I when I have Itachi?" His chest heaved in anger and pain. Now the fucking lesbo was better than him. "Or Kakuzu?" Her voice grew more sensual with every word. "Or Pain? Or Kisame, or Konan for that matter?"

"Seriously, bitch?" he snarled.

"God knows, they are undefeated. God, as in: Not-Jashin." -she laughed- "Oh dear, how will the others react?"

He bit his tongue trembling with emotion. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because you care", she hissed, "And because you never respect what I care about. So" - her lower lip accidentally brushed against his chest as she lifted her head to penetrate his vision with her blues - "It's payback time!"

* * *

Hello everyone! I hope the disappointment isn't too big. The reason why Hidan cannot be immortal ... well, the universe just doesn't allow it. Kakuzu isn't, Orochimaru isn't. Hidan is?! There's just no way. There isn't anything about it in the original story, so I had to invent a weakness. And I had to invent the whole explanation of his abilities. I have actually bothered to type it down, but it looked bad all cramped at the end of a chapter. May I suggest you just roll with the MAGIC of the SCIENCE of the WORLD of an ANIME, huehuehuehue!

As always, thank you for reading and for your time!

Much love,

GRaff.


	25. Artistry

Most people would think that releasing negative energy was good. There was, however, an exception to this awfully broad statement. Revenge.

Deidara had felt good as she beat Hidan to a pulp verbally, dissolving apparently the very fibre of his spirit. The man was looking at her silently, and unmoving. She started to wonder if he still breathed. For some reason she doubted it. He was still, while she was breathing heretically. There was no way someone could breathe so fast, so intensely.

Her mind dizzied and she moaned holding her forehead with both of her hands. The pain phase of her migraine finally settled and it hurt. With it, concern for her own wellbeing overtook and she fell to her knees unable to take in shapes and forms and smells and tastes. And then she cried. Hidan watched her. And Kakuzu watched her, and Sasori watched her, both up there at the edge of the forest.

"LEAVE", she screamed at them and then grunted at the loudness of her own voice, "NOW!" The two men she had addressed remained solid in her distorting vision.

She reached for her pouch and brought a vile to her mouth drinking it greedily: the last drops of her own poppy tea, concentrating one kilogram of the drug in a mere 50 millilitres. The taste made her crying intensify. The vile disappeared discarded somewhere in Kakuzu's direction, she couldn't say exactly were as her fascination settled on its target.

"You fucking asshole", she screamed, "YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!"

Hidan barely blinked and lowered his gaze on her incredibly ugly face. But at that moment, he could only think about how much he wanted to join her in her wild display of pain. Something led him at her side and he did not hesitate to drop to his knees in front of her, bring his mouth to her lips and just bite them, hard, drawing blood.

"My trigger", he whispered caressing her face with both of his hands, wiping the tears away with his thumbs and starting to cry himself, but without changing his expression. He then pulled a kunai.

Kakuzu and Sasori moved immediately, pulling the two apart. Hidan changed colours and pushed against the restraints of his partner. It looked like they were having intercourse really, the way he banged himself forcefully against him.

"KILL YOU! I WILL KILL YOU!" He repeated over and over again like a desperate, inebriated animal. Finally, he forced Kakuzu off and darted at Deidara, pushing Sasori away from her. He grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him, knife at her throat.

"LEAVE FUCKERS", he shouted, "This is between me and her! And she fucking knows it!" He was backing off starting to enter the water.

This could not be happening, surely. Sasori was so taken aback by the whole theatre that he couldn't process what was going on.

"Hidan", the miser finally spoke, "Calm down!"

The girl elbowed her capturer, but remained in his grip unable to follow up with an attack. Her mind was starting to feel the high dose of morphine and she felt herself slowly going limp against the metal at her neck.

Her uttered begging only aggravated the situation. "Please, please! PLEASE LEAVE … Sasori!"

"What the actual FUCK", Hidan yelled and kept getting louder, "I _AM_ capable of slicing you up like the pathetic fat bird you are! And you're calling for him?!" He had spun her in his embrace and pushed her in a slight bent over position, her back arching dangerously over his forearm. "ASK me for something for once, you goddamn fucking WHORE!"

She closed her eyes again and kept crying moving her mouth as if attempting to speak. Hidan finally noticed how ugly she was. How her eyes were too big, too blue. Her skin was wrinkled and too ivory. Her hair was too yellow. She was too loud, too obnoxious, too full in her cheeks, her screams, her emotions.

Slowly, his tears of desolation turned into tears of ire and he shook her violently. Her eyes were trying to speak to him, but they were vibrating incomprehensibly. "YOU SHUT UP NOW? NOW?" He pushed her towards the deeper waters and threw her in. "NOW?" Pulling her out by her shirt, he yelled more. "SAY IT NOW, RIGHT FUCKING NOW!"

"Aa", she began and hiccupped, "I … I- Only- I-"

Only her. He erupted in more tears, his face finally giving in, contorted, and hugged her to his chest forgetting about the men behind them, the world, what had passed between them just now, before, or ever. Because she had been the only person to push away when his world crumbled while the others ignored him … like some sort of bingo-book case to dismiss. Maybe she didn't care enough to tell him why, maybe it had been just her wish to get back at him. But she had been there, not letting the darkness replace his days. She was real, she was there, now. And he too was there. And they were both hurting. Fuck reasons.

They cried into each other's necks for a while surrounded by shoulder high water, thorns, and a very blue sky. When they were done, they had both fallen asleep, together and hit the dark reflecting waters.

Then came silence.

The older men were on the muds of the beach utterly perplexed, shocked in their usual comfort zone. How is one to act in this situation?

Kakuzu decided to spin in his spot and leave without a word. Suddenly, he was in the mood for prostitutes and sake. Maybe some oysters. For some reason, the fish had only made him hungrier. He walked on the water, past the hunched children and left for This deciding to rejoice in the glorious last hours of the country, to experience the silence before the storm in its most decadent, loud form.

"They are quite possibly drowning right now", the shore behind him warned with a steady shout. The miser stopped in his tracks, contemplating.

Drowning? Well, irresponsibility was punished, was it not?! And he did hate teenagers so much. How often had he tried to intervene for the good of everyone involved. But one can only give so much and be greeted with defiance and ignorance for so long, be laughed at, ridiculed for so long until one day the helping hand retracts its offer to help.

Sasori had come next to the two hysterics and pulled them out of the water by their necks, enough to breathe if they hadn't their lungs filled with water. Kakuzu finally turned to look at him.

"I suggest you leave them on the shore and come with me", he seemed to explain, "They will wake up at some point and they need to remember this."

His logic was, at least at that point, irrefutable. Indeed, Sasori agreed, this – whatever this was! It needed to stop. He pushed the two on the shore and shortly inspected his partner. Oh, she was too pale. He made her sit and brought his arms around her lower ribcage, hands clasped in front of her belly and squeezed, hard, forcing the water out of her lungs. Her body automatically spat it out and heaved. Her breathing resumed at some point later.

"Let's go", the eldest said.

"Yeah", the puppeteer mumbled and the two leaped over the cascade knocking at their victim's door. They both _hated_ teenagers, so much.

…

Ever has it been that our most remembered memories are the painful ones. Our brains are a real bitch about them, really. Maybe in another world where humans are less bound by their primordial condition of brutes, savages, displeased, seeking carnal minions of god only knows what sordid master of games … maybe there we could appreciate the good, the beautiful in the now.

We are bound to experience our emotions in retrospect, we glorify the past. Because comparison between two or more positions in an advancing, ever-growing vector is the only way of finding appreciation of peace that had wilted. Of happiness.

And they cried. Oh, how they've tried!

The present is such an absent director. It resembles a controlled chaos of sorts, but it lacks vision most of the time. And most people don't understand this, they don't see it. Those who do and seek to escape these dirty shackles of this grotesque ensnarement, those are the artists.

Now that you know this, who do you find more deluded? Yourself or those who have dared to break your normality?

The night was majestic once more as it revealed herself to Hidan naked. The sky was beautifully adorned with its children, the distant suns of other worlds. And, like a loving mother, it lulled his telluric awareness away. Once more, he found himself hypnotised by the old faces, the Taurus, his Andromeda, the Pegasus. He finally remembered.

On his left he felt the slow and steady breathing of the girl, her hand so warm in his. His motives for adopting it were unclear, but he feared to let her go. As much as he liked his tripping, he was suddenly scared of his unworthiness to address the gods. No –the earth was safe, he belonged there.

Behind those masked poeticisms, a set of problems were trying to destroy him. He was most definitely hallucinating, too happy with the clouded sky. He couldn't breathe, that's why he was cold. He was wet, and pale, and grey. Deidara only noticed the face of a suffering patient under the last rays of a cooling light bulb. There, with his feet still in the water, pale lips, and messy hair, the bruises, the clinging, slimy clothes there was a man. He resembled some sort of beaten dog, discarded corpse or, better put, an aborted child whose entire vitality and force had been drained from him in the instant of the attack. After pondering for a while, Deidara figured out that he must have been all that and that he must have been waiting for answers. She was sure no one would be satisfied with that condition.

"Hidan, Hidan", she whispered, now leaning on her hip and resting her head on his chest for a while, "You're really not breathing."

He wanted to speak to her, but couldn't. If he had felt cold before, now he felt his lungs on fire. He gasped and started to cough, wetly. Automatically, he lifted himself to a sit and expulsed all the water in his lungs. He was ready then and squeezed her hand tighter, eyes down in the ooze.

"What", he spoke just as softly as she had, "What will you do?" Again, he had to feel like his fate would be decided by her. She had so kindly informed him of that before, hadn't she? Maybe one day she will inform the world about ruining a man by threatening to expose him. He chuckled. Women were so unpredictable, just as society described them, but not because of their monthly mood swings or general sensitivity, but because they bring forth the demons in their men, encourage them to face them, and then, if they see it fit, they will smile and corrupt them against you. Vicious.

"I don't know", she replied barely audible, then chuckled, "But I must say I found your outburst quite inspiring."

"Out of all damned possibilities", he exclaimed tiredly, "Inspiring?"

"Yes", she explained with what he could guess must have been a smile forming against his shoulder, "You see I felt like I was watching a movie."

"A movie?" he asked, "What genre?"

"Comedy", she promptly interjected.

He snickered in disappointment. "So, that's what I've become? A joke, huh?" He sought the stars out with his eyes, so terribly calm that it made goose bumps form on his skin. Or maybe it was because she kept scratching it with her lips while she talked.

"You know, everyone becomes a joke at some point or another. I like to watch a comedy, because it's the tragedy I have to face every day."

"We're all jokes then."

"Buffoons and clowns and donkeys and …" She paused and began to laugh pressing harder against him.

He smiled too. "You cannot find a good word with 'e', can you?"

"Eee", she struggled rocking her forehead left and right on his arm.

"Eristic?" he offered. She brought her head up, enticed by the deeper meaning the jab had taken. Also, those poems he had kept reading seemed to have imposed an interesting, almost forgotten vocabulary. He met her gaze and smirked.

He was such a … "Fucker!"

"Gagmaaan", he growled with a pretend frown.

"Harlequin!"

"Infidel" – "Jester!"

He pursed his lips: "I was expecting Jackass, but" –she laughed beautifully and he gasped– "Oh, yes: Kakuzu!" She laughed louder and he joined her.

"Kidder", she corrected him. "Lout!" – "Mummer." – "NUT!"

Deidara made an o-shape with her mouth, closing and opening it repeatedly. Hidan had his open as well then tsked.

"Aa", she finally yelped, "Oddball!"

"Picador!"

"Q- Q-", she tried repeatedly, then, finally, "Quipster!"

He bit his lip for a few seconds. "Rrrribald!" Looking at her, she was mouthing the entire alphabet, he lent her a hand: "S."

"Soubrette", she said confidently imagining the young servant opera ladies.

"Fucking foreign words", he sneered, "Scoundrel ain't good no more!?" He puffed his cheeks then sighed: "Thespians?"

"Mhm … Usurpers!"

He looked in her eyes and smirked big: "Vagina!"

"WISECRACKER!"

"Ex-ex-ex-ex" – "Don't you dare", she interrupted, then quickly: "Do Y!" He pondered hard then said with a peasant accent: "Yokel!"

She smiled and finished off broadly: "Zealot! I win!"

"Artist", he mumbled and looked in her bright, big eyes, "You didn't do A at the beginning." She frowned and he lowered his gaze slightly humiliated. But then he sniffed and came back to his senses. "So, technically, I win!"

"But it's an antonym!" she protested.

"_You're_ an antonym", he growled and stood up pulling her hand with him. Had they stayed like that for the entire time? "Let's go look for those two fuckers!"

"Oh, yeah", she snapped and smiled devilishly.

That night seemed very warm.

* * *

Hello everyone! Thank you very much for reading and for your time! :3

Much love,

GRaff.

Diclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


	26. Behind our Backs

"Konoha", Hidan mumbled.

"Yeah", Kakuzu agreed.

They were on the roof of an outpost overseeing a group of four young, weak, incredibly ostentatious genin, all bearing the symbol of Konohagakure on their idiotically displaced forehead protectors. Three boys, a girl, the child of the Lord of That.

The two Akatsuki members were definitely happy. They were experiencing every spies' wet dream.

"This is just", the Jashinist said and chuckled under his breath, "Juicy."

"Oh God, yes", the miser added almost sensually. Hidan's snicker erupted louder again at the sound. He could imagine how the five people walking through the nightly streets of That must have seemed to be ambulant bags of money for his partner. Truthfully, he, too, saw them that way and he hoped that the profit they might gather from that information could buy him a few free days.

"You follow them. Hidan" –they looked at each other seriously– "Try to suppress your chakra."

"Not like they could fucking spot us or anything", he replied while hiding his scythe in a scroll and looking for the one with his clothes, "But ok."

"I will be checking their archives out. We need to confirm this information."

As he pulled a black, v-neck shirt over his head and packed his cloak and forehead protector away, the younger man confirmed with a sigh. Wasn't it obvious?

The Land of That sought to form an alliance with Konoha in addition to their treaty with the Land of Earth. They were trying to ensure their backs in case the plan of the Earth to threaten the Fire backfired and they would fail their advancement. Their last employer was, truly, a smart man. Or at least his councilmen were.

"Damn", Kakuzu cursed unexpectedly, in pure satisfaction, earning a surprised gasp from Hidan, "Two more missions, we will have."

"Selling the intel and then taking over this country as well", Hidan elaborated and then joked, "Can we use the palace as a hideout afterwards?"

The older man turned to him and dwelled on that for a second. "It might be doable, but we could sell it as a hideout to an interested client."

"Oy, Kakuzu" – faked irritation, then smugness – "You should get into real estate."

"How do you know I am not already?" he retorted.

"Don't tell me Pain is paying you rent?"

Kakuzu smirked under his mask and closed his eyes. "I'm off."

…

How deliciously ridiculous: The children had stopped at a grilling restaurant for dinner! And the most disturbing part about all that was the lack of someone to be there with to not look suspicious. There were only families with children, groups of teenage boys and girls out for meat and soda. And the young lord that was enjoying everyone's attention while trying to seem, just like the loud spike-haired boy named Naruto had said earlier, "a normal guy".

The restaurant had some sort of veranda going around it. Its floor was hardwood and made up part of the frame for the sliding paper walls of the building. It was chilly so no one was outside that night if he didn't count the people who had followed the aristocrat … there were actually enough people around him, almost a dozen. He sighed deciding to savour one of those cigarettes he had bought in his hometown along with a drink, classic rice wine. Leaning against a pole that held the roof over the porch he eyed the group he was following through the parted wall, they were about five metres in front of him. He had to get closer somehow.

And then he noticed her. Little blondie named Ino. Blue eyes, thin figure, cute face even if a bit bony, and light blonde hair, if a bit ashy in undertones. Kid was fourteen at most. The only reason he had his eyes on her was because she had his eyes on him. It was on.

He looked at the bright, clear night sky, focused on his posture. He had to look the way all seducers had to look. Sad, mysterious, and hot. That's why he bent his neck a little more than needed and let his tendons tense in the shadows cast by the light coming from inside, the metal beads in his necklace stealing a small shine and running down over his collar bone, under his shirt. He had one leg stretched out, the other bent in front of him with an elbow resting on it, biceps –obviously– flexed uncomfortably. He smoked slowly and let the light of the cigarette illuminate his features for long enough. And on his sixth smoke or so he exhaled and let his head hang even more to the side, closed his eyes, and when he opened them, he made eye contact with the girl. She blushed and let her mouth part. He smiled at her with what could be described as a longing, desperate, sad smile and turned to gaze at the sky.

In his head he cursed at the chilliness of that particular night and at his goose bumps that proved very sensitive against anything brushing against them, even the air. He was tired and hungry and the alcohol was shit and …

"URGH!"

… now this! The blonde had stepped in front of him, arms crossed, grunting like an idiot, just to herself.

"Such retarded teammates, wasting my graces!"

What fucking graces was she talking about, he wondered. "Made to be cherished, temptress with blue eyes" –he smiled and looked up in her eyes– "Behold as she smiles!" And she smiled. Shocker!

He studied his drink melancholically and said softly: "I know you're not from here" –back to her– "I've been following you."

She blushed and huffed, turning her head to the side: "Of course, because of Lord Shu!"

"Maybe", he said and reclaimed her admiring gaze. He retracted his leg and had her sit next to him. "I'm Rosso."

"Ino", she moused and sat next to him, "So, why did you follow us?"

He chuckled. "You remind me of someone …" – her eyes went big – "A girl." Sip sake, stars, sad smile.

"Your girlfriend, I presume", she said and hung her head in pretence, well aware that such a person must have not been part of his life, not anymore. She was hoping to encourage him to speak more.

"No", he said resting his head against the pole, hurt apparently in his eyes, "My sister." He paused and closed his eyes, swallowing. "But I don't want to sadden you, pretty lady!"

"Don't worry", she said now honestly sad and pondering, "I am sad too." He didn't have to ask why because she continued. "I love this- this amazing, handsome boy, but he has left, possibly forever."

She was new to this game, revealing too much information, but he smirked inwardly guessing that she might grow to be quite good at this.

"So, now you are stuck with those guys" –he pointed with the glass in her teammate's direction and smiled kindly– "They seem like good boys."

"URGH", she grunted too forcibly, "They are so stupid and not in my league at all."

Fucking little slut, this one was. "Haha", he chuckled, "Do not think it odd, but I have to agree." He leaned forward, closer to her. "But they seem like a fun lot!"

She stared at his lips that were not too close, far away so she could easily scan his face. More blushing. And boredom on his part.

"Oh God", he ejaculated and laughed dejectedly, "You are so much like her!" Eyes met once more.

"How?" she inquired with a sad expression that he returned.

"Well, she used to bicker about her friends too, with the same beautiful face before …"

"Before?"

"INO, INO-", the loudmouthed boy yelled from inside, "Come here, Chouji will eat a whole spoon of wasabi!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Look", Hidan said seriously ignoring the ruckus, "I don't want to get into politics, although you seem smart enough to be able to understand. Plus, I am just a citizen" – his fingers played with the fabric of her forehead protector tied around her hips and she leaned into them– "I wouldn't want to embarrass myself further, so-"

"No, tell me!" she interrupted, "I am strong!"

He lowered his gaze and smiled in amusement, but she couldn't see that. Maybe when she grew up, her beauty would impress and her guts too, but she did not seem one of those who made it big in their military career.

"Maybe you are part of it and don't know it …" He was showing more or less genuine anger.

"Know what?"

"She was killed … by Konoha shinobi."

"What? No! No, it cannot be. No, please" –he started crying expertly, still looking gorgeous– "I'm so sorry … but even if it were true, it will get better."

"HOW", he began severely, then closed his eyes and bit his lower lip. Then, shaking: "How can you possibly be sure of that?" More exquisite tears.

"Because me and my friends" –she lifted his chin with her fingers- "We have fought to bring you peace. When Lord Shu will return to his father today, our countries will become sisters."

Ding. Bingo. Jackpot. Also, time to say goodbye.

"Huh" –sobbing stilled– "Oh, you are amazing! Really?"

"But of course! I am a kunoichi, I would never lie! I am honest and unwavering in word and blade!"

And the bullshit went on and on from there. Hidan responded as she expected of him and sighed every other second. What a deluded child.

…

Kakuzu might have been greedy as the others put it, but he was just an economical man in the best way possible, of course. Hence, when the opportunity presented itself, he chose to ignore his general rule of threatening a client. It was speaking against his values of respecting contracts, but … he chose to think of it as an entirely new deal.

"The young lord was sent to be thought how to fight in his brother's country. Then they hired Konoha to basically kidnap him under the pretence that his mother missed him, but there was no way of breaking the political understanding between the two brothers."

"And they had them meddle with the promise of an alliance …", Hidan finished with a yawn. They were now in another meeting, physically present only the artists, Zetsu, Konan, and Pain. The immortals, Uchiha and Hoshigaki, holograms.

"Great work, you two", the leader congratulated, "This chance needs to be pursued! Kakuzu, what do you have in mind?"

"There are two options we could consider. The information can be sold to Konoha. We could cooperate with Danzo on this one, but I doubt much further benefit would come from that. In any case, he would also be reluctant to agree to a meeting unless we send Itachi. He's the option of choice since Danzo has not met any other members. We wouldn't want him to know more than he already does."

"I am guessing you are for option two", Pain noted.

"Yes. I think it wise to sell the information to the Earth, where we will be dealing with the Tsuchikage directly. Plus, he has been our client in the past and he knows better than to pursue us as to not draw more attention from the Land of Lightning … How else would he explain his ninja aimlessly patrolling through other countries?"

"Indeed", the leader commented, "So, Kisame and Itachi, you will inform-"

"Actually", Sasori intervened, "Maybe we could use the distress caused by this information to capture the five-tails."

"Oh, what do you have in mind?" Kisame asked.

"If Kakuzu and Hidan approach the Tsuchikage then he might overthink the situation. Why wouldn't the same Akatsuki member be handling this? Kakuzu and Hidan could inform him of noticing the young lord being taken back home by Konoha. They were, after all, on that mission."

"Technically, you two were on that mission", Hidan corrected.

"So, by that logic, you two should go", the Kiri ninja said very seriously, seeming to think all options through, "But I find the idea of others as a distraction to make our job easier brilliant. The five-tails is under constant supervision."

"Oh?" Deidara uttered her confusion.

"It seems they fear he might go rouge, he is not a very pleasant fellow", came Kisame's friendly response.

Silence settled in for a moment, all heads involved thinking of the best option. Itachi and Kisame were undercover in Iwa, Kakuzu and Hidan had the evidence, the documents regarding the mission that had been assigned to Konoha and the accusatory contract between the Akatsuki and That, but the attack appeared to be directed by Sasori and Deidara.

"There is one more thing", Zetsu suddenly spoke, all heads turning to him while he only looked at the blonde girl, "Is there not Deidara?"

"There is?" she replied with a snarl, "Maybe you care to enlighten us?"

"You were friends with Han." – pause – "Given the current circumstances and his disliking of his village, your appearing in Iwa might compel him to rekindle old … flames?"

"I don't think so", she retorted.

"What is your point, Zetsu?" the leader said impatiently.

"Deidara is a fast commuter. She could fetch the documents and fly into the Kage's office, earning everyone's attention, selling the information. Han will magically"- Zetsu patted his chest with his fingertips a few times – "be urged to see what that is all about and follow Deidara. His village will try to stop them from leaving, him chasing after her especially. And after fighting his pursuers for a while, Kisame and Itachi will easily defeat him and she can bring him afterwards to the extraction point. This way we don't lose are client either."

All eyes turned to Deidara.

"Do not make me do it!"

…

He made her do it. He made them all do it! The protests were met with an annoyed 'It's not like you have anything better to do!' or a 'We can rest later!' Hidan yawned once more and Deidara yawned too.

"Fuck, I'm tired …"

"Tell me about it", she mumbled.

"Well then", Kakuzu interrupted, "We are headed back to Ame to bring in the money. May I offer a piece of advice, Deidara?"

"Hm?" Sasori had just gone over the documents and handed them to her; she placed them in a scroll.

"Allow Zetsu to transform into you-"

"NO", she shouted, "There is no way we are uppercutting Han in the balls like that."

"Sounds like you want this mission to fail", the white man said.

"Goddamn it, Zetsu", she barked.

"Oy, blondie", Hidan intervened, a deep frown on his face, "Why do you care so fucking much? He's gonna do it anyway, you know?"

Deidara looked at the two men, the puppet, and the plant and became grave. "Not only do you make me parade like a dim-witted pawn in front of my greatest enemies, but you want me to capitulate and accept your deceitful acts." She lifted her gaze and spoke louder: "I have been honest when I left my home village, I will not return in deceit, disparaging my own persona."

"Look, Deidara", the Jashinist said in a soothing, low, and steady voice, "You do not have to calumniate, you do not have to lie, or cheat him into following you" –he grabbed her shoulders- "Because you won't meet him."

She smacked her tongue and imitated his manner of speech with a comic accent: "That's the way I rationalised wanking off to that dude that one-"

"OY", he yelled, "Fuck that goodbye already!"

"I cannot", she added with the same accent, "You already have, hm!"

"Man, fuck you, blondie", he groaned and pushed her back. Kakuzu had already begun walking away.

"Sorry, Hidan, I couldn't possibly allow you to take it to the next level."

"Yeah well", he spoke in calm derision, "Have hobo Han do it at least!"

She tsked as she jumped on the back of her supersized clay bird, Sasori following suit, Zetsu already seethed in its body, halfway through.

"Shall we?" she asked her travel companions, not waiting for an answer as she took off.

Sasori kept still for a moment then sighed. "I will be waiting outside of Iwa with Itachi and Kisame. We have no way of telling which direction you will flee, just that it's in the general direction of the south. We will spread out and intercept Han."

"When should I return?"

"Give us an hour or so", he concluded, then paused focusing on her open, fluttering cloak. She would get cold, but he wasn't about to urge her into closing it, he wasn't her parent. Alternatively, he asked: "Wanking to a dude?"

"You don't want to know", she dismissed.

And they flew in silence, over the woods and swamps and all waterfalls and fields of grass, towards the slowly rising mountains ahead. The sun would soon come to set behind them and they had to fly fast and high as to not get detected. She came to sit on the neck of her bird and made it seem more aerodynamic.

"Master Sasori, put Hiruko away and press as close to the body of the bird as possible. Zetsu, tuck in." Both men mobilised immediately and, when the shuffling was over, she hugged the neck of the statuette and helped it gain speed, supernatural speed. Everything became unrecognisable, her chakra surrounding the moving anomaly.

Five hours into the afternoon.

* * *

Hello everyone! Guess where we will be next chapter? Eh, eh? Also, I am truly desperate, so: Please, please, please with cherries on top, let me know what you think of those last chapters. I am curious to know what you enjoy most about this story so far. Drop a line, you sexy beasts! ;3

Thank you for reading, thank you for your time, and your encouragement.

Much love,

GRaff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


	27. Iwagakure, At Home

"So …"

Night had fallen, clouds and darkness and whatnot. A wall of mountains amidst cascading springs, then tower homes of two three floors, the Kage tower in the back, thicker, fatter, taller. Coloured little conical caps of purple and orange and red, otherwise just maroons and browns. Lights in all windows. Above everything, the Earth symbol dominating and big. Home sweet home. Just not.

It was chilly and the usually dark green of the leaves had become a bright orange that pierced the night. Only the few coniferous trees and bushes had stayed true to their usual image, otherwise more reds and oranges. The smell: intoxicatingly fresh and frosty. Iwa was colder than other places. Maybe because of the higher altitude it was situated at. Maybe.

The people were numerous and loud on the streets, wearing thicker clothes, woollen ponchos and tall leather boots. The plaster on the streets: first class granite, cut into small cubes, beaten in the sand below in blooming feather tails. Sidewalks, tall, iron street lights of exquisite design. Small, fenced front gardens all with a small indent in the ground for basements. Broader streets for the main institutions: court of law, hospital, magnificent church, huge graveyard. More stone, more iron. More fountains and bushes and whatnot.

The general style of fairy tale houses made out of mud with tiny windows and wooden doors was romanticised with twirling garlands of ivy or flowering string chrysanthemums, small yellow flowers that emanated a sweet-peppery scent used as an undertone in the Tsuchikage's tea. But that was already going into too much detail.

The too happy people with too white teeth, the too rich shops, the perfectly painted benches and the perfectly neutral smelling garbage bins around the city. Police kiosks populated by two shinobi, a chuunin and an apprentice of sorts, either a genin or an academy student. The latter preferred in tourist areas for the aww-s. A variety of restaurants, bookshops. More people, perfumed citizens and shinobi with perfectly ironed uniforms, red and light brown, with long, broad sleeves, the adorning pieces of deep red material as scarfs, or quilts, or whatnot.

"Deidara?" Sasori interrupted her scrutinising gazing, "Where are we going? We need to stay in range for Zetsu's signal."

She stopped in her tracks and looked at him. "Yeah" –pause– "Yeah, we do." They decided to take the bench a few streets back. And they sat there in silence. The alley was not very populated, they were in a residential area. Both were clothed in black, head-to-toe, and had ponchos on that masked half of their faces. She had disguise her hair in white for the time being and snuggled in the thick neckband. He had pulled said neckband over his head, as a hood.

"I thought you'd remain with Itachi and Kisame", she mumbled.

"Well, yes", he spoke softly watching two people in the house in front of them toast to some occasion, smiling, "I'll go back to them after we receive the signal."

"I see." They were under a streetlight, engulfed in its yellowish, warm light. She shuddered and broadened her eyes. "Let's hold hands, hm … So we don't look suspicious."

"Ok?" He took her hand and then stopped. She couldn't settle for a position with her feet, fidgeting oddly. At some point she sighed and stiffened in her spot, back straight, ninety-degree angle at her knees.

They were far more suspicious now. She would look like a puppet if it weren't for the whiffs of steam coming from her mouth and nose.

"What's taking him so long?" she erupted softly, frown on, "His house is one street behind us and they have really nothing much to talk about except of course-"

"Deidara, shut up already! We are surrounded."

She stood up and started pacing. "I'm trying to make it look like we're having a lovers' spat" –louder– "YOU IDIOT!"

"I see … Sorry, darling."

…

The boy, well hulk of a boy, was sitting at his small table, in his small kitchen eating a small bowl of porridge and reading a book. He looked humble. He wasn't incredibly handsome or incredibly ugly for that matter, he was just normal. A normal, but hulk of a boy. His build was naturally slender, but he must have been working out loads because his muscles were very defined and rigid looking under his skin. He was wearing pyjama bottoms in a check-patterned fabric and a sleeveless hoodie. All tones were red or black. Only his socks were clumsily yellow.

Zetsu eyed him hidden in the wall and made his way slowly behind him, in one of his cupboards, slowly slipping from it as Deidara, in a chiffon white dress that ended at the mid of her thighs with long cuffed sleeves and her usual brownish ballerinas. Zetsu didn't know why, but he had noticed people being very pleased with her appearance when she was dressed like that. He switched the lights off.

"Han", his voice called out softly, "It's Deidara, don't scream!" He patted his back, "Come to your room!" The only room with no windows.

The shinobi was silent, paralysed in his spot. It took him about twenty seconds until he moved, not switching the lights on and then reached the disguised Akatsuki, seated on his bed. How did he fit into it? How did he fit into this room made for midgets. Just a bed and a pile of clothes, some room to move and open the door. Han switched the lights in his bedroom on then closed them inside.

"You!" His thick lips pressed together, losing all volume, his eyebrows hardened in a deep, angry angle. "What are you doing here?"

"Just stopping by to say goodnight!" he exclaimed and jumped off the bed attempting to exit and leave. He stood in his way, as expected.

"You are up to no good", he seemed to explain, "Why come see me?" He was not dumb.

"I don't know."

"You are the worst liar in the world and you know it!" Yes, Zetsu knew it, the girl was easy to read and generally quite predictable. A tad dramatic and just sensitive about everything.

"Really? Accusations?"

"Curiosity … really! Why would I need a reason?" The Akatsuki was impressed, the kid, who was actually well into his twenties, was not at all dense or dim-witted. Maybe he had underestimated him.

"Be curious about those things that concern you" –he let his eyes inspect the floor, hair rolling off his shoulders, into his face– "The village was not one of them as far as I remember."

"Leave", he suddenly said and held the door to his room open.

"I was about to", Zetsu disappeared in darkness, Deidara's voice echoing behind, "_I_ am free."

His door remained open.

…

She sprinted through the streets fast, but not too fast. Like a young woman would run to catch a ferry. She never shoved someone to the side, she just evaded them with a short break or a pivot, soggy leaves jumping up a bit as she tossed them behind. And once she reached the tower of the Kage she let loose.

The fence surrounding the 'monument' was tall, with spikey bars of forged, black iron on top. She ran along until she found the basement of the house nearest to the tower. She climbed down and with a puff, her usual uniform was summoned. There was complete darkness, but she remembered the steps she had to walk. This was the place all students of the Tsuchikage had used to sneak up on that bastard. Flying in might have been more dramatic, also their initial plan. But she had decided to go for this instead. In silence she counted the steps she made, adjusting the length of her stride as to match children's feet. Ten steps forward, two left, three forward, one entire hop to the right, four more forward. The wooden barrel. She climbed into it and jumped down.

The 'catacombs'. Well, 'catacombs' was just a name children had given it because it was moist and hard to breathe down there. But the scariest thing one could possibly encounter was the Tsuchikage himself chasing his students out. Nothing bigger than a child could pass through. She sighed not having thought that the place had appeared big only to her childish eyes. Once more she had to bring forth the scroll of clothes and pack her uniform away, opting for some already dirty pants and a long-sleeved shirt. She crouched, advancing through the 'labyrinth' in complete darkness until she finally spotted a small torch holding a frail fire.

"DEIDARA", it yelled excitedly, "DEIDARA, DEIDARA, DEIDARA!"

"Shut up", she spoke back to it, crouching faster, "Hello, Bobo!"

The baby stone golem blushed, reddening the rock in his cheeks. "Oh my", he uttered, small beady eyes, glistening strongly, "You have become so beautiful!" Then he smiled broadly showing his burning insides and spoke rapidly: "Where have you been? We have missed you! Especially Han and Kurotsuchi! Are you back for good? How are you?"

She thanked him for the genuine love with a smile and patted his left cheek with a finger, magma growing hotter underneath the stony skin. The creature suddenly snapped and yelled again, very, very loudly. "I mean: INTRUDER, INTR-"

"SHUUSH!" Her hand went over his mouth and she felt blisters forming all over her palm. She retracted it with a hiss. "Tss, let me through, Bobo, sweet thing! I do not want to kill you."

The golem frowned at her then mumbled: "My dear girl, you know the rules."

"Yeah, I came prepared" –she sat in front of the golem and drummed with her one sane hand against her right knee– "Let's hear it!"

The golem grew serious then voiced magically playing with the fire of his torch: "It's more powerful than God. It's more evil than the devil. The poor have it. The rich need it. If you eat it you will die. What am I?"

"Deidara!" The girl turned in the direction of the raspy shout, coming from the end of the labyrinth.

"HAN?" she yelled back eyes widening in panic, her heart skipping a beat, "Han, are you ok?"

"Yeah, I am!"

Silence.

"Han, go home!"

"What are you up to?"

Then she turned to the golem and smiled. Softly: "Can you repeat it, please?"

"Deidara?"

Bobo lowered his head and mumbled again: "It's more powerful than God."

"Deidara!"

"It's more evil than the devil."

"DON'T IGNORE ME!"

"The poor have it. The rich need it."

"WHY COME BACK?!" A loud thud hit the ceiling of the catacombs.

"If you eat it you will die."

"Deidara …" The shout became shaky.

"What am I?"

"Nothing!" she replied and looked up with just her eyes, head unmoving, attempting not to cry, "You're nothing!"

She had passed, and the hollow tower ahead of her spurted a long rope out of nowhere, which she took and started climbing up, up towards the tower.

"Good luck, you", Bobo said and froze again as an inanimate statue. She sniffed her boogers and kept climbing, cursing at the blisters that got torn by the friction. Maybe she would have run up the walls, but she had to suppress her chakra. She sighed and kept repeating the action of hand in front of another hand, feet pushing against the rope below, like monkey's feet would.

And at some point later in time she finally reached it. Pushed against it; and Onoki's painting fell to the floor with a clatter. And Deidara emerged from the wall, Akatsuki cloak on, hair hanging in a ponytail firmly.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" the Tsuchikage screamed jumping on his desk.

"Deidara!" Kurotsuchi and Akatsuchi exploded with excited laughter at the same time. The girl, Kurotsutchi, was as tall as she was, slender, but with a smaller face and thinner neck. Her floaty uniform made her seem to be in constant movement, flowing through space. She looked like a dancer and even though she had been teased for her short hair and dainty nose before, only an idiot would dare to call her ugly or boyish now. In contrast to Akatsuchi, especially! Well, she shone like a star. The boy was huge, a walking cube of strength probably. Deidara wondered if Han had gotten taller than that giant. And as always the two were drumming away in talk.

"Are you paying us a visit?" "How cool is that?" "You remembered the passage way?" "How is Bobo?" "We haven't been there in a while, Akatsuchi is just too fat!" "Hey, I am just very big!"

She eyed them all sternly then smiled for a moment joining them in their ridiculousness. "He was excited to see me, but a bit too dusty. Shame on you two, hm!"

A confused, panicking jonin darted in between them through the door. "Lord Tsuchikage, Han is missing from his home-" He looked at Deidara. "Lord Tsuchikage, the terrorist Deidara is in your office!"

"I KNOW, GET OUT! FIND HAN!"

"Sir, yessir!"

Deidara used the commotion to look at her teacher's desk, a neat game with dices was being played among those three and she remembered it. It was a nice game. They were having tea in that big office with statues of deities and exotic plants and expensive paintings.

"I am here with a business proposal", she began, "Kuro, Aka, out!"

"So you can assassinate me?" the geezer shouted.

"You old bastard", she replied irritated, "If I wanted to kill you, I'd drag you outside for this whole damned village to see!"

"Aha, there you are!" Onoki smirked under his fat, red nose, under his long white moustache, levitating from the desk right in her face, his one meter height totally creepy. "Though I must say, I am impressed with the way you did difficult missions for your country even as a runaway child." He urged his other students to exit the room and they did, eyes leaving their old friend at the last minute. They were listening through the door, but the two others could deal with that.

"I have some interesting information for you regarding Konoha", she explained coolly.

The Kage floated back to his desk and plopped down, Deidara doing the same, but in what was previously Kurotsuchi's chair. "Your price, Akatsuki?"

"A hundred!"

"Are you mad?" he interjected with a deep scowl, "A hundred?! What can be that good about it?"

"Curious are you not?" she teased, "And drop the act. I, of all people, know just how much money you have. It's a perfectly pertinent sum."

"I'll give them ten times that sum, if you return back home."

"Fuck you!"

He smiled and grabbed one of the scrolls in his desk, tossing it at Deidara. She opened it, pushed the board game aside, pieces shifting out of place, and then summoned the money. Then she counted.

"You are such a wonderful pool of talents", the old man mumbled, "But you had to go and live in a make-believe world." She kept silent. "Then again, maybe you did not really understand me earlier. If you want to come home, I will drop the charges of treason and terrorism and penalise you for just destruction of property."

She licked her index finger looking at him for a moment, then returned to count.

"I take that as a no?" Sigh. "You know, people are mad at you for your selfishness, but you are an incredible kunoichi and a very smart young woman. You could make us all so proud. Abroad, you are more popular than our Jinchuuriki." Silence intensified. "Have you met Han?" She was unshaken. "He was devastated after you left and never opened himself up to anyone anymore." He leaned back in his chair. "You have this gift, you know? Of deluding us all with great promise then disappearing into thin air and shattering the world?"

"Yeah, I know", she said with a smile, "Isn't it beautiful?"

"It's agonising", he corrected.

"Yes, but you finally appreciate me now, hm!" She stopped for once and eyed him gravely, "No more, 'You _could_ be an artist, but you are too smart for that, here: fight'. No more, 'Why an artist when you can solve _our_ problems.'" She kept counting.

"So, this Akatsuki treats you better?"

Deidara smiled a sad smile and decided to be honest. "No." Pause. Sigh. Back to counting. "No, but they are just as demented and hopeful as I am. Their expectations of me are low and they spare me the judgement, busy outpreaching each other."

"They spare you the judgement, huh?"

"Yes, I am blondie, the pyro, the punk. Thus any homily won't affect me. And they know it."

He blinked a little too slowly, unknowing how to advance his argument with the annoying word in his way. She smirked, automatically thinking about Hidan.

"There is life outside of books, outside whatever arts you are pursuing."

"Yes, and I am making it more beautiful because I bring forth the life that is intangible to you behind words and earth. Then, should you fail to recognise it, I will know I have done my best to make you see. Your greed and own aspirations will not impose a goal on me, not anymore."

She finished counting and packed the money away, then tossed the documents on his table waiting for him to go through them.

"Okay", he finally mumbled, "Okay, I see. How much for taking That down?"

"One hundred straight up, one hundred later." She lied, they only got paid after. And he knew it too but for some reason chose to ignore it.

Another scroll was tossed at her. "Don't bother counting and leave." He started forging the contract. "I will be expecting Mr. Hoshigaki for the report. Also, I want you to execute the plan in a month. Your last job was perfect." She went over the piece of paper. "I need to find that idiot now."

Deidara stood up and narrowed her eyes. "Han is not an idiot." The statement was solid, but the Kage laughed. "He is not an idiot!" she iterated.

"He is and you are, foolish brats", he spoke, segmenting the phrase to stress every word, "Because at the end of the day _I_ have made you into what the world sees you to be. Go, run back to your little group, and that _fact_ will still be valid."

…

The idiot had followed her as she flew away. The idiot had fought his pursuers, hiding for a while in darkness, long enough for Itachi and Kisame to get him hypnotised.

They were on top of her bird, him and her, Sasori on another to their right. Kisame and Itachi had returned to gathering information and monitoring the situation in Iwa, in case things went wrong. Deidara didn't tell anyone about how much money she had. And the night proved silent.

Han was held in place by Zetsu, who had injected him with some sort of drug. Now, his chakra evaporated from him slowly, but constantly making him weaker.

"Deidara", Sasori finally said, "You have slept thirty-three hours in six days."

Yeah, all thanks to inevitable dosing off when they were mid-air, and that glorious tea she had drunk, that had nevertheless mixed with the caffeine she had snorted earlier. Leading to her fainting on the table in the strip club the elders had gathered in and that Hidan had eagerly insisted to go in as well for a 'good time'. Joyously, she was drugged out of her mind, experiencing lucid dreams that distorted what was going on and turned everything into a little haunted-house experience in her mind. Joyously.

And out came the angry: "I want to stop in Ame to rest, Master Sasori!" She had been clean after that experience and was hence very cranky, probably it had shown.

"Okay, we will", her partner said, "We should be there soon right?"

"Whatever", she mouthed lounging her bird forward. Indeed, they would soon reach the rainy village. Thundery clouds were hoarding the sky, so she brought her birds lower, fearing getting struck by lightning.

"What-fucking-ever", she repeated just for herself, "What-fucking-ever."

* * *

Hello everyone! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. As always, thank you for reading and for your time.

Much love,

GRaff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


	28. Kiss

Kakuzu was in leader's chair, at his desk counting money at an incredible rate. In front of him, on the other side of the table, Hidan was writing something painfully slowly. If she had to take a wild guess, she'd assume that he was fairly displeased at his current situation. He was frowning and stern, not even turning towards her as she and Sasori stepped into the room.

"How did it go?" the miser asked, stopping to look up at her.

Without replying, she placed the two scrolls with money and the contract on the table.

"Zetsu took the five-tails downstairs", the puppeteer explained.

"Wait, what?" Kakuzu asked unexpectedly. "You didn't take him to the extraction point?"

"With all due respect, Mr. Kakuzu", the girl finally spoke, earning a confused look from her dialoguer, "I need to rest for a few days."

"As long as you are in this shitty excuse for a next-gen village-" Hidan began only to me immediately cut off by a swearing Kakuzu. He then met her gaze, smiling in derision: "They'll work ya to the bone."

Finally, the miser opened the scrolls and gasped, greedily beginning to count the seemingly infinite bills of money.

"I hope this buys me some time off, hm?"

Deidara kept eying Hidan for a while, even as she addressed Kakuzu, and thanked him with a sad smile. She looked defeated, he looked tired … or hung over. After a sharp inhale, she uttered a direct protest at the world: "Do we eat dinner later, hm?"

"Well, Hidan has work to do, you go rest! We will have a meeting tomorrow", the miser intervened. The Jashinist scowled at his partner, and answered the girl with a shrug.

"What if Sasori and I help him?"

"Out of the question", the puppeteer interjected and turned to leave, "I'll be in my room."

Kakuzu was hypnotised by the wads of cash overflowing the desk hence ignorant of the two younglings scribbling across of him. Hidan had passed her one of the copies he had already made and pointed to a reference sheet he had placed in between them. Had he not been as tired as he was, maybe he would have shown more appreciation.

Speedily: "We need to make five of those in total. Each of them addressed to one of those people" – his finger scrolled down a column on the paper – "I am working on the third one, so you take the one for Danzo." He kept working for a while, but when he saw Deidara reaching for her brush, he quickly added: "Keep in mind though that Kakuzu has requested calligraphy."

"Has he now?" The girl turned a stoic, but forced expression at him and noted: "We need to impress upon the ANBU that we are properly educated, do we not?"

"Indeed. A bribe with no style is just too perverse to accept."

"A calumny of sorts, yes."

"Derogatory!"

Kakuzu noted the odd way the two were addressing each other and snapped: "If you have time to gripe, you have time to write."

Hidan and Deidara chuckled and giggled respectively, first of all at the informal word and cliché phrasing the elder had used, second of all because of their smugness. But for a while they both wrote in silence, brushes moving cautiously as to not ruin the documents. Deidara immediately made a mistake and turned to Hidan to intercept his muffled laughing. She put the ruined page away and prepared to begin once more. She had just realised: he didn't have one faulty page put aside.

Kakuzu stood up and came at Deidara's side. Firm eyes were inspecting the ruined piece of paper. The letters were very twirly, confused by any rough edge they were encountering. They were small, but often times, a stroke would extend a lot, too much, exploding in a twirl or a hook. She had been generous with the line spacing. Also, the borders were ridiculously wide, almost five centimetres on the top and three left and right. Her writing was very nice to look at, that he had to admit, but it was so incredibly unreadable. He leaned forward grabbing her brush, and leaned over the desk as to write standing the next minute.

The girl followed the lines of his upper back, the colourfully decorated masks that adorned it, stopping to look at the hood and mask that allowed only piercing green eyes to shine. Kakuzu was testing the brush on the back of the paper as he addressed the blonde.

"Watch me", he said sternly. His hand eased on the paper and he began to write patiently and concentrated. Kakuzu thinned the lines of the letters when he moved up, and pressed more firmly when he went down. His writing was perfectly straight and kept readable proportions in height and width, the size pleasant to the eye. It was the type of writing one would find in the usual royal documents. It was impeccable, although a bit boring.

"Got it?" He said and eyed her for a few seconds.

"Yes", she replied with a straight, serious face.

"If you get confused, refer to Hidan's copies." He picked them up going over them. "They are not half bad."

"Ch", came the protest and Hidan grabbed a doodle page, writing very fast in a monotone stroke, all lines of equal thickness, small in print, concise, "Look at what he called fucking unworthy!"

Deidara smiled coyly, not liking his style. It lacked any personality. The young man ran a hand through his hair and grunted: "I mean, come on! If I wrote normally I would've been done by now!"

"Complain all you want, but _that_" – an accusatory finger extended at the presented line of 'Fucking old mongrel of a bastard!' – "is typical only in your village. I get it that you had to write a lot and fast and never had money for sufficient paper-"

"OY!" The girl giggled.

"But it's truly unsatisfying … Although, who am I kidding? Given your usual behaviour I am amazed you went to school often enough to surpass illiteracy."

The snarky remark was met with chilly calmness on the Jashinist's part. He finally licked his lips and commented: "I have always been efficient, asshole. And I get things done fast, so I have more time for myself … asshole!"

"Again, if you had spare time, what would you do?"

An open mouth prepared a comeback, however … "We could eat dinner", Deidara intervened.

Everyone paused, the younger man was smirking, she was pursing her lips, both were looking up at the elder over their shoulders. He sighed and prepared to leave. He was hungry.

"Get those done already, you'll have the rest of the evening off as it is." With that he disappeared.

While the girl got back to writing, Hidan remained turned in his spot, eyes after his partner, one elbow cockily supported on the back of the chair. His eyebrows were contracted in a displeased manner and for a while he seemed to be waiting. "He is going to eat, I fucking knew it!"

"I am too tired to join you in vehement brooding, but" –their gazes met and she shook her head disapprovingly– "What a jerk!"

Hidan scowled deeply and cocked his head back. "So", he confidently jabbed, "What do you want?"

She chuckled returning the look. "I am starting to believe that you just pretend to be crazy so that you are excused from shouldering responsibilities."

"Really?" His eyes went wide then he started speaking to something on his left. "D'jou hear that, Jash' baby? I'm not crazy!"

"Very funny", she said dejectedly, her attention back on the task at hand.

He looked at her for a while, unstartled in his spot. Her hair was up at the top of her head, greasy and blonde, the black rims around her eyes were smudged too low and accentuated the dark circles, her lips were patchy.

"You flew here?"

"Oh no, what gave me away", she prodded dully, the question losing its intensity and reaching him as the generic 'Fuck you!'

"Ok, I stop caring right aboooout", he teased, shoulders rising just a tad in preparation for his plan.

"What are you up to?"

"Now!" From his chair, he reached his hands around her body, under the open cloak, and began to tickle her.

"Whaa!" She twirled under his touch, trying to get away and interrupting an involuntary laughter with repeated 'no's and 'stop's. Finally, she stood up and pushed the chair back with a screech of wood against stone. He followed, keeping close to her. And then he stopped, while she was panting.

"What did you want?" he interrogated playfully, his hands centimetres away from her hips. A chuckle and a smile indicating her surprise, she nodded, announcing that she would explain. Oddly, enough she didn't seem displeased so he decided he would listen. But she was taking too long and he enjoyed torturing her like that so he commenced his tickling once more.

"God, nooo", she protested as she tried to bring her knees up, but only managed to drag her own body down, in a crouching position, head hidden behind her forearms, and bum pressing against the glass wall of Pain's office. Hidan stopped and laughed loudly as she sobbed the last laughs away.

"Ok", he smugly spoke, "I'm listening."

But her sobs grew louder and stronger, her hunched back heaving for air often. She was crying, no doubt, and he was confused. What could he do but stand there and wait?

"Remember-", she mumbled and leaned against the glass, elbows coming on her knees and hands clasping firmly, "Remember how you owe me?"

He sighed, his hands now on his hips, his mood apparently darkening the whole room. "Believe it or not, I was having a fucking good day …"

She wiped her tears away and hastily stood up in an attempt to still herself, but she could only hang her head in what he could assume was hopelessness. Hopelessness? Surely, it was a convenient emotional state for her to be in while she made a request. She must have not been logical enough, in evident distress, so she must actually ask for something that affects her profoundly. Or, in any case, more deeply than whatever he seemed to mean to her.

With a final sniff she pleaded: "After we extract the five-tails, I need you to help me bury Han."

He blinked at her in confusion, eyes wide, the right index finger tapping restless against his hipbone.

She intercepted all that and explained: "You are a priest … kind of, and I don't think I will be able to" – tears were spilling on the ground– "Gah!" –she looked up and then back at him– "You will do it and that's that, hm!"

"No", he mumbled calmly, "No way in hell I'm doing it." He pivoted and attempted to leave the room. He was hungry, it was already three in the afternoon, he had had a small breakfast, which he should have had more of as he was now hungry, and in need of food, and what the hell was up with blondie? He turned towards her.

"What the fuck do you mean: 'I _need_ you to help me bury fucking _Han_.' Who's Han? I don't even know the dude!" He ran a hand through his hair messing it up this time. "Is he … what? A- a … what the fuck do you people even believe in? The gods of life or something? I don't even fucking know how you deal with your dead apart from: 'Oh, lets bury _Han_.' Fuck you, blondie! I am not burying _Han_, end of story."

"Hidan, you owe me!" She was getting angrier too, following him as he, too, drew closer to her.

"It was all cool when you wanted to become like me", he voiced in a pretended high-pitch, imitating a parrot, then growled, "But I do not fucking bury _Han_!"

"Stop saying his name like that!" Like an autistic ventriloquist. It was her turn to snap. "After all that's happened, you couldn't possibly still believe in your imaginary friend!"

"Like fuck whatever", he brushed it off and shrugged, his arms opening at his sides and bending towards his chest to accentuate, "I still believe in what I have said! I believe that all humans are ignorant and need to pay for that, especially if they don't allow me to enlighten them about suffering. So you and your buddy Han-boy can suck on it!"

"So" –she paused pursing her lips– "You're like Pain now?"

He became grave. There were a few thoughts pestering him. There was her stubbornness he cursed at, and her defiance of his beliefs, now reduced to a mere theory with no divine support. But they were still his trademark. Hence his right hand felt compelled to slap her. And then there was an endless row of insults he addressed at Han. In reality, he was insulted that the favour was revolving around her friend or whatever and not him. What right did he have to intervene? If it weren't for him, she wouldn't have even asked him for a favour! Of course, the fact that she might have asked for something more denigrating never crossed his mind. Also, his left hand also wanted to slap her. He glared at her starting to solely focus on the slap.

"Just do it, hm", she hissed. And he slapped her, making her cheek face him disapproving, red, and angry.

When her unimpressed eyes met his she sighed. "Fine, Hidan" –her arms crossed in front of her chest, her back straightened and her chin pushed forward almost arrogantly– "Although this is not how favours work, I will be so kind as to indulge you: What am I allowed to ask of you, hm?"

"Will my cock in your mouth finally shut you up?" his low voice threatened.

Derision. "Your cock?" She smiled kindly and tilted her head forward, crooking a brow. "Utterly insufficient."

He mimicked her position, head coming forward and touching her forehead. They just stared at each other and he slowly became uneasy as he realised that his reasoning might have been a little faulty. A little wrong. Wrong. He didn't like the sound of that. And then he snapped.

"Was Han's sufficient?"

Deidara clicked her tongue and nodded just enough so he could feel it, then smirked. "He was … twice the _man_ you are."

What bothered him most about that description was the highly probable truth behind it. He chuckled in return and kissed her. Deeply. Hands grabbing her neck and head, keeping her in place for a while, one drifting lower around her waist when she finally kissed him back softly. Her lips were so patchy and he dreaded that. What an unexpected hindrance! His mouth sought satin softness and he bit at the rough meat, but not too hard, just grabbing and pulling it away. And she moaned. His tongue apologised and licked swiftly over the beaten flesh, a small kiss planted almost humbly, and tamed. He caressed the tip of her nose with his and kissed wetly at her upper lip, tilting his head to the other side and sliding his tongue into her mouth. She curved her back against his palm in retreat and brought her tiny palms to push against his chest. Futile effort it proved to be as he broadened his stance and clasped her head with both hands keeping her in place. He grunted sensually in her mouth and she opened hers more allowing him to push her head back and run his fingers over her neck. Hot and invading he pressed her against him, her bony hands stabbing him too annoyingly.

He wasn't sure what he was trying to prove, but when his nose brushed against a tear of hers he stopped and pulled away haltingly, his eyes open, while hers were so delicately closed and shivering. She parted her lips to breathe, keeping her head tilted back and hands clasped in front of her chest, and he brought his arms back to his side and wiped his nose. Finally, she looked at the ceiling pausing, swallowing hard, but did not move otherwise. He was angry more than anything, wondering if she had imagined kissing another. It filled him with a devilish heat that made his chest inflate with hurt, swelling pride.

"Deidara, you need-"

"I need to what?" she interrupted in a deep voice that did not sound like her. He balled his fists trying to keep his cool. She had tricked him.

"Now that you have proven your _manliness_", she accused regaining composure too soon for his liking, "I suspect you will agree to my wish."

…

"We shall begin the sealing", Pain ordered, "I warn you that it may not go smoothly. This is our first attempt and we don't know how resilient the extracted Bijuu will prove. Keep your focus."

The Gedo Statue was the empty vessel of an old, overpowering, ominous demon: the ten-tails. It was said that the nine tailed beasts, once unified, could reincarnate into the mythological creature. But really no one was certain of that. Deidara had always found the stories of old to bear metaphorical truth. She simply couldn't take them too seriously.

But now, they were attempting to fill the vessel. And Han would be the first to be subjected to their jutsu, an extraction of energy, depleting the life force of the host in the process. She clenched her teeth and upon the command of the leader she formed the seal and focused her own chakra on invading the man's body and pulling the restraints of his spirit away. The others performed similarly, but she doubted that they were feeling the same pain she was.

Han.

The statue held its hands up, flexed as to allow the palms to cup an imaginary sphere now replaced by an actual ball of energy, in the middle, a floating body. The fingers served as catalysts for the jutsu, all members taking up one spot on the statue. She was there, present physically along with Sasori. The others joined them as holograms. What a great way to guide a dying person to their fate: a few living, and ghosts.

"Good", the leader encouraged, "We keep at this."

The statue's mouth was big and ugly, two rows of mocking teeth feeding at the energy. Of its ten eyes, it had opened one, big, glassy and without pupil. It was staring them down and Deidara could easily imagine that if it had a voice, it would be laughing at them, wiggling the many horns and barky skin disgustingly, patting with the human feet at the ground like a demented, evil child.

Han was there, surrounded by blue, but life escaped his widely opened mouth and eyes in deep red. It was probably the tailed-beast within him. Never had she seen his face so contorted. Not in pain, but in absence of every restraint. It looked like his flesh was almost melting off his bones, the way it folded in deep folds around the outer edges of his individual features. She must have lost her focus because the energy sphere dissipated in a spot and her friend fell to the ground. The statue emanated a deep, shaking growl and closed its eye. And Han fell with a loud thud at its crossed feet. His head split loud enough for blood starting to spurt from the wound pooled around him. She bit down a sob.

"Let's try opening the aura of the Jinchuuriki without invading its chakra system and keep your focus."

"You think it will work?" Kisame intervened.

"It was one or the other method. If it doesn't work, we will need to be physically present", the leader explained.

She hoped he wouldn't have to fall again, otherwise he'd die. Luckily, he didn't. Because five days later, when his body was finally drained and cold, she finally caught him.

* * *

Hello everyone! I am so happy that they have kissed, it's amazing! But yeah, poor Han, he's dead. I don't know why, but I am liking this story more and more as I am progressing with it. I can only hope you do too. n_n

Thank you for reading and for your time!

Much love,

GRaff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


	29. Burial

Death. Often times, we don't know what is going to happen, what the future has prepared for us. Other times we do. Then we will do whatever lies in our power to prepare ourselves for something devastating. It's odd really … Regardless of whether the dying are known to us or not, death leaves a mark on all of us. Not necessarily the kind of mark left by grandiose eulogies that reflect and bring forth emotions, memories, lessons, no.

Death is slimy. Death is intrusive. Death is an ever present part of our reality, but it's shunned for its overwhelming character, for the imminent threat it hangs above the heads of us all. Have you ever seen a dying animal? They will always hide in a dark spot, close to the earth, until their shadow cannot be seen anymore. And they wait. In the meantime, their offspring is out and about worrying about their own survival.

Death always comes as a surprise, because we cannot be expected to face it. It's almost unnatural.

So, when she stopped and finally adjusted Han's body on her back, the shivers overtook her.

"I came as fast as I could."

The planked path over the bog shuddered at their weight. Slowly, she started walking forward, struggling to keep straight, but managing somehow.

"I can- Deidara ..."

No, he could not carry him, she wouldn't allow it. Every step bore too much value for her to ignore. At first, only his name came to mind, in an agonising loop. Then came the good memories, it's always just the good memories.

The chosen land moaned under her feet, soft, purring earths and mosses inviting her to stray from the path. The wet coldness of the grass pierced her own warmth away and allowed guilt to take its place. What had she done?

"Do you want it here?"

She let Han's feet go and she regretted it immediately her chest constricting too much. They had to feather down. Gently, she let him sit, holding him up, and putting her cloak over his back and shoulders. Then she guided his arms through the sleeves. When she considered him prepared to lay down, she guided him to the ground.

"Are you going to use your clay? To make the hole?"

No. She remained kneeling next to him and started peeling the moss off, then she dug her fingers in the dirt. Slowly, oh-so-slowly the grave was forming. The wind blew as it would in winter and the mist fell over them once it stopped. When it became darker, nature kindly drew her curtains back with fine rain.

She regretted leading him on, giving him hope. They should have never kissed, she should have never encouraged him to dream. That was the least she could have done, before leaving her village. If she hadn't … But she was a selfish person.

His body fit nicely in the shallow grave, his chest still poked out a bit. A hand rearranged his headband and clothes, never touching his skin though. For some reason, it could defile him. Only the earth that rested upon him was worthy enough to do so. Handful after handful. And when he was engraved in it, Deidara pulled the moss blanket over the grave and a white statuette on top of it. It resembled spring. And she returned to Hidan's side looking at her deed.

He waited for a while, hands clasped in front of his lap, his eyes on her quivering lips, the irregularly heaving chest, the muddy hand so close to him.

"Dear Han,

My name is Hidan and I am … not someone who should be doing this. I don't do burials, I just kill. But you ran away to a foreign land and died, now here we are.

I don't know why you died, but I didn't do it. You ran after a friend and stumbled upon people who wanted to hold you back. I know you had a lot of questions for your friend. They will go unanswered, like most questions do. But you are not allowed to answer them yourself, that's a fate more cruel than death itself.

I can tell you to rest assured that your friend has just as many questions as you do and they are yours exactly. She told me to ask them for her, out loud, in the middle of this god-forsaken, frozen meadow. Unfortunately for you, I am not a kind fellow, so I will not mouth her words.

And as I am saying this she seems to forget how to breathe. You know how she looks, when she is caught doing something embarrassing? … just like that, but with paler skin. She's here, but she's scared and that's why she can't talk herself. She's scared of being unworthy of you. She's scared that she has let you down.

You weren't next to her for a long time, still, because of you, she's scared …

This made me think, Han. Why is she scared? You cannot harm her, ha! No one can … I can't, not anymore. I am not afraid of death, let alone of a dead man, but you … you managed to stay alive in her. You've changed her, probably forever.

Your memory made her look back at her choices. She wonders about the past, about her decisions. And she won't speak to me, but Han. The only thing she wishes now was that she could have spent more time with you. At least one more day, one more hour … one more kiss. She is scared and she cries, because you keep reminding her of everything she was and everything she could have been. You could have been, together.

She respects you, cares for you, _truly_ cares for you like everyone should be cared for in this life. And she loves you, God, does she love you …

So, Han, before you go remember her one last time,

Dei-da-ra."

He looked at her, how she had clung to her own hands in front of her chest and how she struggled in her spot. Right then, his heart sunk too and he realised that he wanted someone to cry for him too, if he died. Someone to cry for him, just like she was crying now.

His arm made its way around her shoulders and he brought her into his chest, holding her tight. He decided he could stay like that forever.

"Han", he thought and eyed the man's grave, "I am not a kind fellow."

* * *

Hello everyone! A short chapter for once. I hope you liked it!

As always, thank you for reading and thank you for your time.

Much love,

GRaff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


	30. Date Night

"Oy, Deidara!"

"What?!"

They hadn't spoken in over two months.

"Are you free tonight?"

"Mh-hm."

"Good, good …"

Hidan stepped next to her bed and eyed the tangled locks emerging from the covers. He chuckled at her disgraceful appearance, messy, sprawled out in the comfort of her white sheets and the probably less comfortable discarded clothes, weapons, scrolls, bags of clay. Everything was clean, it smelled good, but the chaos of that small room was a little disturbing, especially in the grey light. Always grey light.

He took a few strands of her hair and pulled, the creature bringing its arms up from under her pillow, pushing up. A section of her face with a squinted eye looked at him confused.

"Uh, how did you get into my room?"

"Left it open", he answered, "and you let me in."

She yawned coming to sit on the bed, mumbling: "I see … How was Suna?"

He put his hands in his pockets and inclined his head backwards: "Dry."

With one hand she pushed her hair back and proceeded to bounce on her ass to the edge of the bed. Their rooms all looked alike. The only outside wall was a row of windows trying to make the tiny room appear bigger. A bed of decent size took up most of the space, then there was a small bathroom with just a shower, a toilet, and a sink. They were living in a building that doubled as a hotel, the Akatsuki had the top stories of the building reserved. First were the rooms they used for sleeping, then whatever offices they needed, an archive room, and so on. They did not necessarily have a homely feel.

Deidara's room was an explosion of stuff. All over the place. The clean clothes put on hangers stapled on top of each other on a few windows. Loads of statuettes lined in a certain wave in front of the heater under the window. A mirror with no frame with a lonely sock hanging from one of its top corners. He went to said sock and noticed it was filled with something. He opened it and looked: black eyeliners.

He took one out and another, ten. "I always wondered why you are doing this to yourself …" Then he started throwing the pencils at her and she turned in a half crouch towards him, face contorted in sleepiness, one hand reaching out to intercept anything that was aimed at her face.

"I have migraines and I don't really like the light. Black absorbs it, hm."

A last pencil flew at her hair and got stuck. Both of them sneered. She did not seem embarrassed from what Hidan could tell. So, he let it be, following the girl as she rummaged around for something.

"What are you up to?" she inquired.

"You and I are going out."

She stopped and looked at him. Pursing her lips then nodding slowly, still completely groggy from her interrupted sleep. He considered that it was his chance to give her some clues: "Dress clean, not too fancy, we'll grab a bite, and possibly return late. Don't go for heels."

"I don't have-"

"Good then, good, erm" –he sniffed and high-fived himself a few times like a dork– "I'll come by at ten?"

"Conventionally, it's seven."

"Nah, that's too early. What are we going to do for three hours?"

She crooked a brow even more perplexed, but settled for his conditions.

…

When he came at her door and she opened it, Deidara felt the world stop moving. It was as if her heart skipped a few beats, tied too tightly in her neck, her belly constricted and she gasped.

In utter and undeniable anger. "Seriously, hm!? That is not fancy?"

Hidan wore fitted black trousers, made out of densely woven linen that seemed to shine a bit and a black button-up, necklace on and close-toed ankle boots made of leather. Sure, it wasn't elegant, but better than her black pullover and the manly cut pants and ninja shoes.

"Look, you have the same pants as I do", he said with his signature smirk.

She pursed her lips. They were Sasori's, but he didn't need to know that.

"I'll go change", she concluded with a straight, unimpressed face.

His eyes widened: "Why the fuck would you change? Let's go." With that he headed down the hall and onto the streets. It was raining so he opened an umbrella and brought her under his arm for shelter. A narrow bridge that linked two different levels of the village descended in front of them.

"Now, blondie", he began, "It's time for me to explain what we are going to do." –her face remained unmoving– "Aw, it's always nice to see you so fucking enthusiastic."

The corners of her mouth arched in anger and Deidara was thankful for the loudness of the rain, the darkness of the streets and the quickly moving townsmen around them. In order to protect their heads from getting wet, Hidan had tilted the umbrella to rest on her arm, soaking her slowly. "Yeah, no."

He chuckled. "I see", he mused, "You must be thinking this is a date or something."

Her voice rose: "Well, yeah!"

"And you would be right!"

"… what?"

Oddly enough, both kept walking, not looking at each other, but straight ahead, at the beginning of the street best known for being awake all night. In this repeated order one could identify bars, restaurants, strip-clubs and various other places that promised massages with a "happy ending".

Hidan stopped once they reached the beginning of this infamous area and turned to face her, a sudden seriousness in his face that broke his childish excitement.

"You are going to help me find a girlfriend."

She blinked a few times, slowly. And he once more so idiotically continued: "In one of these humble institutions" –he pointed them out with a dramatic slide of his arm– "We will find a girl that will fall for me."

Deidara inhaled deeply feeling a vein throbbing somewhere deep inside her head. She was very hungry. Sighing afterwards, she spoke evenly: "Where did you get this idea, hm?"

"A book."

"Really?" One eyebrow raised and she leaned stronger against one leg, both arms crossed under her chest.

"A thick book, with small letters, and no pic-"

"Icha Icha!"

"Yeah", he confirmed and hung his head for a moment, then with even more energy, "But the series is based on real-life experiences. Fucking author rules!"

She pursed her lips and narrowed her gaze. "What do you need me for if you have all the details of your plot?"

"You need to tell me when you see the _thing_ happening between me and her", he interjected with a big smile.

"The _thing_?"

"Yeah, the thing you had with Han", he shamelessly said, "Now let's go, blondie!"

He ran off to the first bar and entered it, waving her to come too. She remained a few minutes in the rain unable to believe what was going on, but then decided that alcohol was really what she needed regardless of her going back to her room or not.

When she found him inside, he immediately handed her a drink and guided her to sit with him at the bar. She started sipping greedily from her glass and shivered at the iciness of the beverage. Non-alcoholic beverage.

"Yeah, that fucking face again", he said nodding slowly with disapproving eyes, "We're on a mission, trooper! We don't have time to fuck around."

"You're having whiskey", she noticed.

"It's part of _my_ mission" –he downed his drink and patted the bar with his finger for another– "Now, there are a few scenarios we could try out. First, is a middle-aged woman, desperate for children that will sleep with me repeatedly until I 'accidentally' knock her up. She will find a good husband then, but remember me forever as her one true love by looking at her child."

She slurped ostentatiously from her drink.

"If this doesn't work" –with his full glass he turned to lean with his elbows on the counter, scouting the room– "We will go to the strip club. A bodacious vixen will find her energy resonating with mine and allow me to see how troubled she really is. And every time I come, not only will I get jealous at the attention she gets from others, but she'll do me for free."

Deidara started to find this amusing and with a straw between her teeth she grinned earning a huge smile from Hidan. He turned completely and eyed her gravely. Just now she realised that half of his shirt was soaked too. Maybe he should've kept the umbrella straight.

"My last chance: a massage parlour. Where I will select the most damaged looking bitch and make her fall in love with me, make her see me as her saviour who can liberate her from the shackles of the illegal prostitution industry."

She nodded seriously and then chuckled. "What can I say?" –she twirled in her chair and approved of the crowd– "Hop at it, fucker!"

"Aaalright, blondie, that's the spirit!"

…

Oddly enough, the idiot had succeeded and now they had this very pretty, forty-year-old on their hands that was very chatty about the décor of the entire bar. Deidara had had sufficient alcohol to look happy, Hidan tried his best not to eye her angrily as she mocked him with an enticing Orgasm. Slurp motherfucker.

"So, you are …"

Once she addressed her again, Deidara decided to take in her looks, pausing for longer than might have been deemed acceptable. Just as tall as him, very thin, but with a curvy bone structure, big brown eyes. The only downside probably her wrinkles, her inexistent eyebrows, but a good catch nonetheless. Accountant too. Both Akatsuki members were looking at each other, smirking.

"The one you need to get approval from", Deidara answered cockily.

The woman snuggled into Hidan's chest, never breaking eye-contact with her. "Aww, you are best buddies?"

The blonde's face constricted immediately into a serious pout. "Yes, I am his mother."

That took both listeners by surprise, although she could see that he was enjoying himself too much.

"You", the woman chuckled, "You look _very_ young."

"I work out, yeah."

"And you look nothing alike."

Hidan finally intervened, eyes never leaving Deidara. "Oh, please, she has no boobs, I have no boobs, I'd say we're pretty similar."

With that the woman regained a bit of her awareness and mumbled a confused short speech about the importance of respecting one's family.

What an epic fail. They both shared that thought with a roll of the eyes and a giggle.

…

The strip club had a whole other vibe to it than Deidara had expected, almost lazy. There were about five strippers in the whole damned shack, all fairly talented for people who had no control over their chakra systems.

"I never ate at a strip club before", she pondered out loud as she patted her warm stomach. Even the tipsiness seemed to subdue and her clothes were drying slowly. "Not the worst place I've been to."

"What about that one?" Hidan suddenly asked and pointed towards a very attractive young woman, probably in her twenties. Deidara followed her routine along with him only she found it all a bit too ridiculous. For one, she could swear a man sitting across from her was jerking off.

"Mh-" She didn't even have to answer before he dropped a wad of tens in front of her and marched towards the backstage.

Another stripper appeared in her proximity and she seemed intrigued by the fact that another woman was there. The dance was slow and more seductive. No way she could make it rain under those circumstances! She started separating bills from the bundle as the performance continued and once the girl was finished, Deidara stood up and stretched an arm out with the selected amount. The stripper chuckled at her naiveté and took it with a small ballerina bow. Only then she realised that all eyes in the establishment were on them.

"It's not how these things work, blondie."

"Says the man holding his groin", she erupted and turned to face her comrade who was struggling to keep his composure. "What happened?"

"Ch, like I'd know!" He pursed his lips, mulling over what had happened like a spoiled brat. No way he'd admit that a civilian had basically kneed him.

"Hey, young lady", a voice called her from nearby. Deidara turned and saw the stripper she had paid earlier, "Are you lost or anything?"

"Why would you ask that, hm?"

She looked at the girl dumbfounded, trying to figure out how to express her concern, but Hidan interrupted: "She's with me."

"Oh, your friend?" she addressed him unwillingly.

"My _gay_ friend", he corrected and ruffled her hair, "I am helping her explore her sexuality. Who knows what makes some puss wet, right?"

"The rain so far … probably the French fries", Deidara said and prepared to leave, "Excuse me!"

He tried to laugh at his own joke and the stripper smiled awkwardly regretting her decision to approach them. Her eyes followed the blonde and she sighed when she had to return her attention to the Jashinist.

…

The massage parlour had a small sliding door that was open, only a wooden beads curtain separating the dark alley from the colourful light inside. They had both squeezed under the small roof that hung over the entrance, a tiny light bulb next to a suspended pricelist offering the only bit of warmth.

Deidara sighed and eyed Hidan who was inspecting said list cautiously, then snapped straight and seemed to be in deep thought. Her clothes had been wetted once more and she was tired, probably due to the fried food and the alcohol.

"Help me out, blondie", he suddenly said, "In the book he said that a woman had dumped him once for being too gentle when-"

"You have nothing to worry about", she cut him off and clicked her tongue. His eyes caught her face as she had a lost expression on.

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Deidara threw a tired and irritated look at him and added numbly: "Just imagine that whatever she does or says is to mock you."

He nodded at the indoors.

"I'll go home." Tying her hair back she sighed, but didn't move. Neither did he. Both stood in the small sheltered space, facing opposite directions, not talking.

She wanted to tell him that what he was doing is sick. At the same time, she also dwelled on the idea that he might be going out of his way to make her uncomfortable so that she would attempt to correct him. Manipulation was one of his strong points, and he was fully aware of that. His clumsiness throughout the evening couldn't have been otherwise explained. She would not sit around and wait for him to realise that she had been onto him. But the prospect of him ruining another person's life was also unsettling.

Little did she know that he was actually terribly confused and hurt. He didn't know what he was supposed to do after all this time. No one had mentioned the events in the forest again, although he dealt with those memories every day. And the way she had cried at his words ... He wanted the honest admiration of a person.

Never in his life had he believed in the value of reciprocated love. The love for one's god requires only one part, one soul. And while he still prayed and carried on with his sacrifices in what he himself now classified as routine divine check-ups on his own conviction and ideology, he longed for the confirmation of his very being.

"Hidan", she muttered and turned to face him as his eyes drifted over his shoulder to find her. "When you are done with your project" –she swallowed, her throat suddenly dry– "Get drunk until you can't feel the teeth in your mouth." –both chuckled– "You'll get some answers, maybe."

"Aren't you going to stay?" he asked with a tone that reflected defeat.

"No, I am not."

And right as she was about to make the first step back home his right arm grabbed her wrist and held her there. Thunder rolled softly off the sky and for a few seconds the place grew darker, not just because the power stopped. As things returned to normal, he let her go, but she stayed and watched him.

"Go on", she encouraged, "Do what you must!"

He just stood there. Looking blankly ahead. Just like that it hit him.

"I couldn't even touch myself for those past months, Deidara." There was no way he could allow another to do so. He was so miserable. It wasn't the emasculation that stopped him even now when his body had been teased with companionship all night long. He was truly, deeply unhappy. A body ruled by a power he couldn't control, try as he might, but incapable of dying. He couldn't even get angry anymore. What for?

It was so easy for him to slip into the role that others had gotten used to. But that was how it went with him. A coping mechanism was needed, but he couldn't see why anymore. His whole life had been disappointment after disappointment. Oh, how clear everything came to mind.

"Maybe some 'happy ending' might remind you of what you used to do."

"Heh … no." He chuckled and hung his head. In this position, his eyes found it easier to moisten. "Hell no … not this again." His hand wiped a few tears away.

"Hidan, what's going on?" She grabbed his arm and turned him so that they were almost hugging.

"I need a purpose in life. If not", he gasped and searched the space with desperation, "If not I am worth nothing."

Deidara watched him pour his eyes out and remained silent. It might have never occurred to her that his confidence too might easily crumble if attacked. She wondered if she should encourage him.

"I don't have a concrete purpose in life either", she said.

"Yeah, yeah", he commented, "It's been pointed out to me before."

"What?" They finally made eye-contact. "Who?"

"Kakuzu", he replied hastily unable to hold his thoughts back any longer, "He said you and I are full of shit and have no idea about the world around us. And that I will go back to you and you will see that I am full of shit because you are full of shit and everything will go to hell, because we don't have a purpose in life."

"Ok, wait", she ejaculated, "When did he tell you this, hm?"

He tsked loudly and rolled his eyes. "It's nice to see you are startled by this information when I myself am completely lost … wow."

"What?" she exclaimed angrily.

"You do this 'hm' thing whenever you are unsure of something, which by the way" –he calmed down for a moment just to make his case– "You are very often." –then hysteria again– "Which only proves him right. Oh, fuck, Deidara, he was right all along."

She moved away from him and into the rain and he hurried after her still rambling. After a while she stopped and made a few steps back in his direction, growling like a beast: "And I suppose the old jackass never gave you a solution to your problems, right?" No reply came. "Damn, I wonder how he shut you up."

They were on the same bridge they had climbed down on earlier. Deidara took a seat on the steps and reached forward to yank the umbrella from Hidan's wrist. It was a miracle that they hadn't lost it already. The handrails framing the bridge were made out of one long iron bar, supported here and there by a foot of the same material. Left and right of her, the city extended in misty rain and incandescent lights and advertisements. She opened the umbrella and leaned it against her right shoulder.

"Sit", she ordered and he plopped down to her right burying his face in his palms. Their asses were slowly getting filled by the water running down, but they didn't care.

"Just for the record: I believe in my art and my wish is to educate at least a few people about emotion. If it doesn't sit well with Kakuzu, he can bite me, hm!" Hearing her verbal tick she inhaled quickly and added: "Also, my quirks reflect a charming personality, ok?" –he chuckled and she patted his knee making him look up– "Also, don't listen to him. Life is a paradox. We always feel the need to show off to others. In a way, you are now the most honest out of all of the Akatsuki, because you have been stripped of pretence. Just now you realised how miserable reality is."

He wanted to ask what she meant by that, but didn't have to. Seeing that he was unresponsive, Deidara finished by saying: "Build your own reality and believe in it. Otherwise accept someone else's and knuckle under."

"Ok", he whispered and sniffed his boogers away, "Help me out here!" His usual attitude quickly replaced his depressive one, even though he still worked on wiping his eyes dry.

"Well, for instance: Jashin! Who is to say that he is not responsible for _all_ the magic in this world, not just your powers." – he pursed his lips – "And maybe in a hundred years, a shinobi talented enough will develop a jutsu to communicate with gods and prove that Jashin exists. Who knows? Do you? Does Kakuzu?" –he frowned– "So, for all we know, Jashin actually exists. Maybe you have measured his power by a wrong scale, while the rest of us are in denial."

"Yeah", he mumbled, only to get louder, "Yeah, exactly!"

"And since you cannot control this magnet release maybe it's controlled by Jashin."

"Yeah, that's fucking right", he said confidently, "Actually, I don't even know why I doubted him in the first place. I mean" –he looked at her– "this actually made me see that I did not kill for Jashin, but for myself."

Deidara's brows furrowed.

"It means that Jashin loves me so much, that he makes me help myself."

That was not what she had meant, but he smiled broadly and she, for whatever reason, could not bring herself to stop him from going on and on about men getting through their difficulties. At some point he even stood up and shouted at the world.

Hidan was back and for the first time since she met him, Deidara found the craziness incredibly empowering.

"Deidara!" he screamed too loudly given the distance between them. She eyed him and he eyed her back like someone who has reached the stars. He grabbed her hand holding the umbrella, pulled her up, only to grasp her face with both hands as he softly laughed, small metal spikes poking at their trousers. There was no way to explain it, but he wanted to kiss her.

"Oh man!" he said still terribly amused at his revelation, running his fingers through her hair. "Oh man!"

His mouth came closer and she could feel the hot breath on hers. Their eyes sought each other out and when they met, big, shivering and expecting, so did their lips. The kiss was short and sweet and when they parted, they both chuckled like idiots.

"For the record", she said and he quickly rose his eyebrows, "I am not wearing a bra, that's why my-"

Well ... he couldn't really pay attention anymore.

* * *

Hello everyone! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you think. Maybe next chapter will be fun. [read: huehuehuehuehue]

As always, thank you for reading and thank you for your time! n_n

Much love,

GRaff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


	31. Sexy Time

**A/N: Warning for the easily blushing! You'll be blushing a lot! n_n**

* * *

He tossed the umbrella aside and turned her in her spot, firmly grasping her neck with one hand, elbow resting on her back. His grip was firm and, for once, she didn't mind it. There was something incredibly comforting about not having to carry her own head. She even leaned into his touch only to feel it tighten, harshly, almost pinching her skin. With little consideration he began pushing her forward back home, up those stairs, into their building, up more stairs.

When they reached the door to his room, Deidara finally snapped out of her trance and faced him, only to get pressed back in the hard surface behind by a hard kiss. It was short, but overwhelming and she could only look up at Hidan with half-lidded eyes and open mouth as he brought one arm around her waist and opened the door.

She didn't even bother to criticise her behaviour. Two months, two whole months of longing had chewed at her bones slowly. Just killing and running and sleeping in the cold. Sasori provided conversation, but despite the usual quality it lacked what she needed. They were connected, but not really. And her thoughts drifted towards Hidan more often than she would like to admit. After all, the idiot had been more than pedantic … after all!

Surely, she might never tell him that his eulogy was a bit far-fetched. But it didn't matter, it got the job done. Deidara got thinking that she never truly loved someone, not in the erotic sense. What she and Dan had was mutual respect and powerful infatuation on his part. They had been just teenagers, after all. Nevertheless, what had broken her then was her deeply rooted wish to have actually been able to love him.

The door opened and Hidan pushed them in. He made sure to close it behind and also lock it and apparently the time spent doing that was enough to make him wonder: Why was she silent? His eyes found her with rigid arms hanging at her sides, palms pressed into her thighs, she was looking at his stomach, but through him, her eyes big and incomprehensive of what was going on. Of one thing he was sure and that was that she was distant.

"Urgh", he grunted, "You are such a boner killer."

Hidan passed her while rolling his eyes and almost intentionally smashing her into the wall. His strutting figure pushed her to the side and she leaned on the bathroom door now breathing somewhat irregularly. Shivers ran down her body and she suddenly felt gross.

"I liked your depressed speech better, hm", came a putty mumble, bendable to his understanding.

"I am not liking yours", he replied from somewhere in the room while removing his clothes almost violently.

"Maybe I am more depressed than you were", she replied, the same tone, not accusatory, not self-defending. It was a statement despite the apparent uncertainty.

"It's not. A fucking. Competition", he voiced with evident irritation as he found a towel to wrap around his waist. Bending over to grab the dirty clothes he wondered why he had left the lights on, but focused on the task at hand. They were coming back to this place very rarely and for this reason alone Hidan liked to keep a somewhat tidy room.

The manual labour got him distracted so he was surprised to find a pair of soggy boots soaking his carpet. He straightened immediately, dirty clothes in his left hand, while the right index finger pointed towards the door.

"Out!" he said seriously, but the girl did not respond. Those big blue eyes snapped up to meet his then retreated carefully, joining the pouting lips in cute sadness. Hidan smiled and even huffed a short laugh. "Hm", he teased.

With that he summoned Deidara's usual irritation and she rolled her eyes and headed for the door. She was about to open it, but he grabbed her wrist.

"Seriously, that pissed you off?"

"Let me go, you jackass!" Her head instantly snapped in his direction and he smiled.

"No, if you must, then _break_ free", he teased, eyes narrowed on her, the smirk turning didactic, like an evil teacher.

She bit her lip slipping in deep thoughts as to find a strategy. Of course, she didn't want to go. But she didn't like losing the little spat. With her free hand she undid her pony tail and wet strands of hair coupled to hang like a dirty mop around her head.

Looking up she took in their position, settling to inspect his chest. She hissed taking a deep breath in and tilting her head. The she repeated the action with a clack of her tongue. Even a hum left her lips.

"What?" he blurted out not liking her response.

"Yeah", she uttered imitating boredom, "It really loses its effect when you parade it around all the time." Nodding slowly she suddenly smirked: "You slut!"

Hidan threw the dirty clothes at her face, distracting her for a split second then pushed her into the bathroom, over the sink, and hugged her from behind. She looked at their reflection in the mirror smiling softly and taking in the dishevelled white hair that topped her head.

"Yeah", Hidan whispered bringing his face in the crook of her neck and meeting her eyes in the mirror, "I don't _do_ sad." She felt his embrace tighten around her waist and saw him smirk.

In those moments, she knew that he was bent on going through with this, but she would not do it his way. For once in many months she grew aware of what she wanted and she would not settle for less.

"And heaven forbid you actually got intimate", she snapped in disapproval.

He straightened and eyed her neck in disgust. "You are _such_ a boner killer, Deidara." She turned and looked him in the eyes with her big, blue ones.

"It's ok", she said faking empathy, patting his left forearm. "Most men can't."

He frowned. "Did you just fucking ignore what I said?"

She smiled kindly, like she had just contributed to charity, and brought her hair over one shoulder exposing a good portion of her neck to him. "Well, I guess I'll get going."

He pushed against her until she couldn't move, his legs framing any escape route off.

"Are you saying I can't go slow?"

"No, I'm saying you come quick."

He chuckled at first, but then just coyly smirked at her. "Ouch", he mumbled, "We didn't use adverbs as we ought to." He pecked her dryly on her exposed temple, then her forehead, down the nose.

"Well, aren't you quick to notice, hm!?"

He stuck his tongue out and flicked at her upper lip once but then he brought his hands around her neck and eyed her intensely. "Challenge accepted …"

She lowered his arms around her, never breaking eye contact and cupped his face to trace the outline of his lips with the tip of her tongue. They were inspecting each other through barely open lids and seeing how her pupils slowly grew darker, Hidan purred to his own surprise. She worked her hands down over his pecs as her neck stretched to reach his mouth, exerting just a little pressure. He leaned in, bringing his hands on the sink and, seeing the opening, Deidara ran her fingers down his sides, then up over his lower back. When he inhaled she bit his lower lip and pulled back, sucking on it. This made him finally grind his hips into hers, joining them together. His arms wound around her once more and he had to look down at her red, plump lips. He wanted to kiss her but hesitated for a moment unsure what to do. To his surprise she arched into him and darted her tongue in his mouth and he opened his eyes at the unexpected wetness. The blue orbs in front of him seemed to chuckle. His guard was down and he relaxed his entire body while she pushed him back and switched their positions.

Her lips pecked his jawline, his neck then he felt teeth biting down his flesh. Hidan opened his mouth and nuzzled a cheek against the side of her head for a second then opened the area for more exploration. When she got to his ear she whispered sensually: "Get it now?" He nodded briefly and reached his arms around her once more, being awarded with a bite on his ear lobe. "Good."

Not pushing his arms aside she started dropping down leaving a trail of kisses on his chest and abs. When she reached the towel she looked up only to meet expecting eyes, parted lips, and, surprisingly, a blush. She smiled and stuck her index fingers around the edge of the towel, but didn't let go. She tugged at it towards her, putting pressure on the skin around the fabric, but just too little around the v-line in front of her. When she started kissing around the edge and trail the lines of the muscles he moaned, clearly, and clasped her hair with one hand. She figured it must be one of his sensitive areas as his member now throbbed under her chin eager for attention.

His right hand drifted low on her neck, as the other gathered the wet locks away. He found the ribbon that tied the neckline of the pullover together and pulled it watching as the baggy garment slid off her shoulders and pooled around her waist. She smiled up at him and with a final tug she released the towel shoving her nose in his pubes, her lips touching his base. They stared at each other, she smiling, he biting at the insides of his mouth. Seeing that she didn't move he was about to reach for her, but then she parted her lips brushing against a lot of sensitive area. He threw his head back and as he was about to return to watch a very wet palm engulfed his balls while she started to play with his shaft.

"Fuck", he mumbled, "Aa …"

The caresses were soft and careful, but they did wonders. When he looked down she had started bobbing her head slowly along the thickness, taking her time and he fastened the grip on her hair starting to lose it. His hips jerked roughly forward a few times and she swallowed at the built-up saliva making him groan and settle deep in the back of her throat. He let her gag a few times then released her and she stood up.

Hidan went for her neck while his hands started pulling her pants down. She took it upon herself to discard her shoes and hugged him tightly. His bites and licks made her arch in his embrace and once he bit down harder she moaned, her arms reaching up to clasp onto his shoulders with sharp nails tearing at his skin. Pure pleasure made him seek out her eyes and he smirked with his mouth slightly open for a while, right before he pushed her back in the shower and turned the water on.

At first, it fell coldly on her making her nipples fully perk and his hand and mouth jumped to caress the small mounds. They were less than a handful, but they were so white and round that he smirked once more. His other hand went for her butt and slapped it playfully making her yelp cutely. It was his turn to take care of her and he was thankful that the water soon became hotter. She seemed to relax and he ran his hands down her body a few times while his mouth tended to hers in what were now passionate, wet kisses. An odd memory plopped into his head, namely how easily hands would run across her ribs so he parted their kiss and placed his forehead against hers, nose brushing hers left and right. Then both his hands started moving in tandem over her shoulders, then her breasts squeezing them hard one last time, then down her ribs, slowly, then her hips. Solitarily, a hand wandered down and started massaging her bud while another pressed her bottom forward. This earned him another moan and as he continued with his ministrations Deidara started bringing one leg up and around his hip further steading herself against his hand. Suddenly, he opened his eyes widely finding himself located right at her entrance and, most of all, panting in need. The throbbing made her alert and she looked in his eyes and reached for his face placing her wrists in a relaxed fashion on his shoulders. Then she smiled and nodded softly. Hidan blinked a few times and gave her a sloppy kiss.

He then seemed focused on the task at hand. His right hand grabbed under the thigh around him as he entered her slowly groaning in satisfaction. She moaned a throaty moan and kneaded at the flesh on his upper back. His free hand wound behind her head and as he began to move in and out they never broke eye contact. She gave in first and closed her eyes and he followed suit focusing on the huge amount of skin that was touching her.

"Oh god, Hidan", she whispered in his shoulder and he grunted and moaned a sound that showed his liking of her encouragement.

She was all around him. He couldn't move much, but he felt every bit of skin on fire. Remembering his hand in her locks he pulled her head back and assaulted her lips with bites. He felt her arching against him in search for something. Her breaths got to him in hasty puffs and muffled moans and it wasn't good that she managed to bite his ear. Something made him jerk strongly and he grunted like an animal looking for rough release. Desperately, he brought her knee higher and wrapped his arms around it and her as to stabilise his target and started going fast and loudly, his body arching as to hit deeper inside her.

"Aah – aaa", she screamed pleading desires as she hugged his head with one arm while the other scratched his bicep. He gasped and shivered and jerked, his eyes closing in pure sensory overload. He couldn't do this anymore.

Without warning Hidan abandoned all caressing, liberating his busy hand only to grab under Deidara's butt and bring the other leg up. He banged her against the wall roughly and she moaned like an animal, a raw, hearty, big moan. His confidence overtook them both as he pushed his chest forward and she arched against it. Again, their eyes met and she finally blushed.

"Deidara", he said with a smirk, "This is my way!"

He joined their lips in a deep kiss and started moving. His thrusts were not rapid, but they were strong and they seemed to push her further up against the wall every time. She simply had to bring her head down on his shoulder and bite him muffling a scream of surrender. He growled in response and proceeded to move his hands lover, below her knees, propping them up against his forearms. She was completely shocked to have lost any possible control as she rested entirely on him, his hands guiding her ass on his dick. He started at a normal speed, but as she got louder he picked up his pace. Hitting deep within her and all around, Deidara started clenching feeling her release close. He immediately felt the growing friction and kissed the top of her head. She looked up with a bitten lip and dark eyes that made his breath catch in his throat. His thrusts became hard and very deep, seething himself fully in her and she paced her vocalisations, but not her breathing. He felt the pressure in his groin rise too.

"Hidan", she mumbled and he immediately kissed her, "Urgh, faster, move, faster!"

With new force he pounded her and she closed her eyes and screamed, actually screamed at the intense pleasure coming seconds later. For a while she stiffened, nails digging deep in his skin and then she moaned one last time. He kept at it enjoying as she contracted around him and the heat from his skin retreated to his groin. His eyes closed and he hugged her tighter to him. As he ejaculated he pushed up against her and unloaded, a falling sensation overwhelming him and taking all his strength away. They just stayed there, propped against a helping wall for a few minutes feeling helpless. But it was a good feeling.

At some point, Hidan pulled out and let her stand again, but kept her in his arms as they inspected each other's faces. She was eyeing random features while running her arms across his chest until she settled for his eyes and smiled in satisfaction. At that he laughed and grabbed some soap.

"How about a shower?" She could only nod.

From behind the wall, sounds akin to those they were making earlier emanated loudly. They turned to look at each other and stopped for a second.

"That is Itachi's room, hm", Deidara noted.

"Yeah", he confirmed and began to laugh once more.

Once they got out of the shower they both grabbed the towel at the same time and would have battled over it were it not for the sounds from behind the wall that had grown louder now with the water turned off.

"I'll be damned", the Jashinist said in a monotone fashion allowing Deidara to grab the towel and disappear in his room. He followed suit, keeping an eye on the wall on his left and registering the sounds. Something wet slapped him in the face and he saw that the girl was wrapping her hair in the fuzzy fabric with no consideration for his own wetness. He slapped her naked butt and she returned a frown.

"Take this hoodie", he said and picked up a dark grey lump from a box next to the wall. Just now Deidara realised that he had some sort of hybrid storing station with boxes and shelves and doors.

She went to him as to take it and he used the opportunity to snatch the towel from her hair. It was, after all, his last clean towel. Hidan simply put a pair of black boxer briefs and jumped on his bed.

"Shut the lights off and come here", he finally spoke and Deidara did so after tying her hair in a bun.

She lay next to him, bum against his crotch as he spooned her dearly and placed one kiss on the nape of her neck.

"Try to fall asleep", he whispered and to make everything ridiculous someone's headboard was being banged right above their heads.

"Yeah, no", she commented and brought one of his hands up to her lips and kissed it, "Do you think he's with a prostitute?"

Hidan remained silent for a while, listening. "If he is, then she's either mute or he's bad in bed because the only high pitch sounds come from him."

"Oh", she almost screamed, "Oh, oh!"

"Come again?" A hand slapped his forearm and he chuckled.

"Hidan, maybe he _is_ the girl, hm."

He rose on his elbow and turned her on her back allowing the huge incandescent sign that was plastered on the building in front of him to play blue shades on her face. Maybe he'd have pointed out how beautiful she looked, had he not been curious about something else.

"Sweet-tits, what are you saying?" he asked with a smirk, lit up by the same light outside and a more childish fire within.

She replied with devious eyebrow-raising and he jumped out of bed, rummaging in his closet for pants, one pair finding their way to Deidara's face.

"We're going to find out", he declared and dressed up for the occasion, "We'll peak through their window."

That meant that they had to use chakra and she felt lazy. "You're crazy, hm", she accused.

"Tell you what", he began as he approached her and sat down, arms coming to rest next to her ribs on each side, "If there is something juicy going on, wouldn't you like to know?"

"Can't _you_ tell me?"

He smirked and waited for a few seconds until she grunted. "Urgh, okay."

They opened a window surprised that the downpour had stopped. The air was crisp and cold and Deidara hoped to return to bed soon. The window they needed to reach was less than a metre away so the two of them stepped onto the surface of the building, now being parallel to the ground.

"Let's see from above", she suggested.

"Nah, we're good."

They went under the window and grabbed onto the sash and then crawled up to watch.

"Wait", she whispered, "This is bad! What if they would have peaked on us!"

"For fuck's sake, it's pretty obvious who it was, they didn't _have_ to peak!"

"I can't do it, hm … Hidan?"

The Jashnist was already gathering information with eyes wide in astonishment, mouth hanging open. What he saw was delicious! He began to snicker and retreated for a moment urging the blonde up with a hand. She rolled her eyes but still crept at his side. He bit his lip and pointed up, closing his eyes as to imitate amusement.

She gave in and looked and it was her turn to react the exact same way he had. Retreat, snicker, act like a dork. Afterwards, she began going back to their room and stopped on the frame to check on Hidan. He was still watching.

"Hidan", she hissed.

He pushed a palm in her direction repeatedly as if to tell her to wait. She went inside and sat on the bed while she brushed her fingers through her hair. Maybe it would dry faster. The sounds next-door grew louder for a while, peaked, and before they settled the Jashinist returned in silence not even acknowledging the questioning look of the girl on his bed, but closing the window.

"Enjoyed the show, hm?"

"Don't tell me you're jealous", he interjected with a chuckle.

She brought her hair over one shoulder and decided to stand up. Slowly she walked up to him.

"Thank you for tonight, Hidan", she said and pecked him on the lips waiting for a moment then dropping her head. His hand went to her chin and he brought it up kissing her again.

"Thank you too, Dei!" With that they hugged and he laid his cheek on her head.

"Dei?" she asked confused.

He furrowed an eyebrow. "Dara?" he probed.

She pursed her lips. "Dei!" she decided.

He rolled his eyes.

* * *

Hello everyone! So, porn, huh? *blush* Yeah ... I ... erm ... hope you enjoyed it? Pfff °x°

I am going to make a time jump at some point, not sure if next chapter though.

As always, thank you for reading and thank you for your time!

Much love,

GRaff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


	32. Timer

"Where are you, Dr. Lecter?"

"I've no plans to call on you, Clarice. The world is more interesting with you in it."

- The Silence of the Lambs

* * *

There was something almost comforting about the few chirps of crickets and the drops of rain against the village.

He woke up in the middle of the night. As usually, his eyes snapped open and assessed the situation he was facing at the given moment. The bed was empty, he was alone. The sheets had been ruffled a bit too much.

All of a sudden, an unexplainable panic overtook him. He stood up and searched around for any clue protruding the woman's leave. His movements were slow at first, but gradually became more quick and powerful. He pushed the blanket aside, then opened the doors in his closet as to check if she took anything, he went in his bathroom. But nothing was out of the ordinary.

Had she simply left?

Hidan turned the light in the bathroom on and took a long look at himself in the mirror. Despite sleeping just a little he felt well rested. His hair was a bit ruffled, but nothing some damp fingers couldn't fix. He arranged his features, smirked his smirk, and headed outside.

The corridor was gloomy, but he liked it. He could see himself walking down the halls and the dim light coming from a few control panels resembled spotlights. Surely, he must have looked dangerous. Somehow he reached her door and growled finding it locked. A pivot in his spot and a bitten lip was all it took.

"Fucking bitch", he growled deeply. He paced in front of the door, like a predator who was about to ambush his prey, but couldn't. He tried the knob again earning a displeased metal clinking from the intrusive contraption. His fist landed against it, manifesting his aggression. There was a very good reason why he didn't want to break her door down, at least not yet. He smirked.

"Fucking cunt", he said rather loudly and kicked the door slightly, "You fucking cunt!"

And thus he headed to the streets. He followed the same trail as earlier, but instead of heading to the bar district, he went deeper down in the Ame underground. His telescopic rod was in his left hand and he drummed with it against the railing of the suspended streets. He even hummed a song that was neither threatening, nor warning. It was a mellow song of contemplation fitting the mild rain. It even fitted the six hours of the morning almost welcoming the softer black of the sky.

Once he reached his desired level, the lowest level, he looked up and around him. The sky was only visible where the bridges above did not run across, interrupting both twilight and rain. The buildings around him were thicker in circumference and the spaces between them narrowed. A deep accumulation of water was stagnating foully on his left and disappearing in a cave below a sturdy building. That was supposed to be the control station for the sewage system. A rotten part of the city for the rotten living there.

He gravitated towards a small warm light emanating from the loud cave. There must have been huge amounts of water splashing against each other from the sounds of it. At the entrance the path narrowed to a half metre broad partition wall between two basins. The wall then grew taller until it met an elevated platform that had four sustaining pillars running through it. He thought it was one of the resistance points of the building above.

"Hey, who the fuck are you?"

In the middle of those four pillars was a camping fire on top of which a big cauldron boiled furiously. The nine people gathered there seemed to be cooking something. Lowly thieves and hobos.

"I don't like the male to female ratio of this group", Hidan spoke off topic, "It reminds me of a gay club with a fat bar tender."

There was only one woman there, a chubby lady in her forties. She seemed to be rather respected as half of the men jumped to their feet and closed in on him. He chuckled.

"So, let me get this straight", he roared extending his weapon in their direction, "You're dirty because you want to." – then with a dangerously calm expression – "Otherwise there's no way that bitch is obese."

A first idiot jumped at him and Hidan punched him in the gut, pike running through the his liver. He collapsed with a roar, blood spurting regularly from the wound as he struggled to breathe against the weight of his own body on the concrete below.

"Aww", the Jashinist purred, "You must do better. Come on!"

His face twisted in a grotesque sneer, eyes widened and capillaries exploded in them from the sheer pressure in his body. He was thrilled, really thrilled. Excitement coursed through his veins more than anything and he found himself aroused.

The second victim he put down by using their partner's head for support. He grabbed said appendage in the crook of his elbow and brought himself in a side plank jamming his heels in the other's chest. He was sent flying against a pillar breaking the back of his skull. Under the force of the momentum, the neck of the grappled moved with and finally against Hidan's arm and snapped. He let him fall to the ground and with his heel he smashed his ribcage with the sounds of children trampling try leaves.

Numbers four to six flanked him in an attempt to sacrifice the oldest member while the younger two were to stab him in the back. And Hidan played along. He lunged at the decrepit hobo in front of him clasping his face and laughing with a big, loud mouth. The metal rod was still lousily held between his index and the face of his victim. The bridges of his palms started pressing against it. He laughed and laughed and the boys stabbed and stabbed. Slowly, the skin of the elder broke under his fingers as he massaged it away. The old man growled and with him Hidan vocalised an incantation of moans as he saw the jaw unfasten from its place, teeth popping out and blood spurting from the nose and mouth. He kept pressing with a deep frown until the eyes were pressed against each other and popped out to hit his face, the two hollows glowing red.

"He's a monster, run", the woman screamed and Hidan snapped the bloody body and threw it at her. In pure shock the woman remained put and screamed again and again at her dead companion bleeding into her.

The younger boys courageously kept stabbing the intruder, but he looked up and sniffed.

"Really", he sighed, "That's all you fucking got!"

The pike ran expertly through the first's stomach, coming out of him through his back. Hidan pulled him close on a diagonal as to not remove the foreign object from his body. The younger was screaming in horror and pain as he hugged Hidan's biceps with his shaking fingers.

The Jashinist brought the rod to his side and jumped on the other one pinning him down with his other friend on top of him. The pike he left there so the fuckers couldn't move.

A teen and his older friend, Hidan guessed he was about as old as he was, were hugging in a corner shocked at what was going on. The younger boy coughed earning a clear snicker from the aggressor.

"Ah", he said with a calm face, "You're the sick ones that needed protecting."

His feet carried him slowly in their direction, maybe too slowly. The boys were pressed against the pillar shaking and screaming in anticipation. Hidan packed them by their throats.

"O-U-T spells out, you are not it." – he banged their heads against each other alternatively, first the younger against the elder's, then vice versa- "Pig snout you are out. Out goes Y-O-U."

On the final syllable, the sick boy's skull shattered against the other head as the young man was screaming in horror and pain. An instant concussion made him vomit, but the inclined slope of his throat made the fluid fall in his lungs.

"Arrgh", Hidan growled, "Fucking disgusting!" He let him drop to the floor for his spasms to try to breathe.

The Jashinsit turned and rubbed his hands against each other as to clean himself. He now faced the boiling cauldron and smirked.

"Radish soup, how classy", he mused and turned to pack the dying man by his collar, dragging him next to the fire. "I'm more of a roast beef kind of guy myself."

He threw him in the fire and the other couldn't even scream. His hands brought him up, but he only hit the pot above and finally fell asleep in the ambers.

"Ch", Hidan interjected with a bored expression, how weak. From the pocket of his trousers he brought a damp piece of paper out marked by the symbol for "weapon". His wired scythe appeared in his arm and he swung it around a few times as he approached the edge of the platform. Then he threw it at the ceiling and it stuck deep in the concrete. Hidan pulled against the wire connecting it a few times strongly. It was definitely stuck there. The end of the wire he unclasped from the retraction apparatus and was now holing the end of it. He licked his fingers as to smooth the scratchy metal ends and one by one, he pierced all his victims with it. Finally, he climbed a pillar up and fastened it up high. Once on the ground he looked up at the diagonal of bodies on top of the platform and smiled.

"None of you fuckers yet _really_ dead, haha!"

Blood was dripping slowly from the ceiling and Hidan let it splash on his skin. He moaned in satisfaction and felt the need to call for divinity grow exponentially. But he wasn't done. Swift hands took the cauldron by the handle and Hidan began walking under the hanging bodies gathering their blood in the boiling pot. Slowly, the clear water turned brown. When he was done, he put the fire out and placed it back on top of the coal.

He made his way out of the cave to wash himself in the rain. His wounds had cleaned and closed by now and he became frustrated. He picked up his pace and headed towards more silent streets and he found them. Yes: Hookers returning home from work. He picked a blonde, and another blonde, and hopefully his blonde would join too. The women hadn't even noticed him pinching them asleep.

Nimbly, he brought them to his cave and threw them on the ground. He took his pants off and tore them in four long strips, tying the forearms of the girls and their ankles tightly.

"Good morning, ladies", he greeted on a loud tone. The two hookers looked confused and groggy at first, but within seconds they knew something was terribly wrong and started screaming.

"Yes, I am excited about this too", he spoke seductively, "Although, I usually prefer doing this in more familiar environments. But fuck it" –he took his pike out and extended it- "You fuck where you can, right?"

The girls were trembling and, by this point, couldn't even manage a scream.

"Oh", he mumbled with a pout, "I like the excitement. Don't worry: if you do a good job, I will liberate you forever. Now, we could cooperate or else … well" –he ran a hand through his hair– "I think you can imagine what I'm going to do with you."

With that he cut the material around their ankles loose and the two just lay there in the blood in front of him. Hidan took his briefs off and placed them in the mouth of one girl while he kneeled between the legs of the other and turned her cheek to the side. Simultaneously, his rod pierced her cheek, slashing through tongue and teeth and pinned her to the floor while he entered her and started pumping in and out moaning in utter, mind numbing satisfaction. The other girl cried at the scene and started slowly backing off not as to flee, but as to unsee what was going on … Bad idea.

Hidan stood up and picked his rod, the girl pinned down screaming in a high, distorted pitch. Her ugly face and gaping mouth puked teeth and blood and she started rocking back and forth in abnegation of her current reality. The other hooker was packed by her hair and Hidan showed his cock in her mouth, ramming it mercilessly until he decided once more to pull out and look at his deed. He laughed.

"Okay, okay", he shouted, "Enough play."

To the girls' surprise he stabbed his stomach and let the blood flow down his body as he walked around the platform drawing the usual circumscribed triangle. When he was done he walked up on the pillar to retrieve his scythe and the bodies all fell on the projected diagonal.

"Argh, beautiful", Hidan moaned and started pumping himself as he saw the uninjured woman's eyes big at the sight.

With his usual weapon in hand he marched to the hookers. From the mutilated one he cut a leg which upset him, because the woman fainted in the following moments.

"Fucking BITCH", he growled loudly kicking the body mercilessly, "Fucking, stupid, premature BITCH!"

He tossed her to the side and calmed down with a sniff throwing the leg in the cauldron. Then he turned his head towards the last woman. He picked her up and had her kneel next to the cauldron. Hidan scratched her back with his fingernails, gathering blood underneath them. The pain was minimal, he thought, because the woman refused to give any reaction. His bloody nails he dug in the pot and he started bringing the boiling fluid to his mouth. Colours shifted.

"Yaaaargh", the hooker finally screamed, blisters of burnt forming on her hands and exploding as the zealot kept drinking from the brew. Those noises enticed him and he turned to look at her.

To his pleasant surprise, another blonde intercepted his gaze.

"My favourite girl", he snickered, "I knew you'd come, Dei. And oh" –he noticed Itachi and Kisame right behind her– "You brought company, how fucking quaint."

Kisame didn't even try to mask his disgust at the scene. His snarl was evident as he inspected the people, some were barely conscious. The sadist had managed to keep them like that by knowing exactly how to attack. He felt his stomach constrict and shivers run down his spine.

"Itachi", he whispered.

Itachi was right behind Deidara with a comforting hand on her back in an attempt to calm her down. He was suspecting she was feeling hurt and on the brink of losing control. Why else would she have called for him and Kisame? He had never imagined that she thought of them as the only ones who were normal. She even said so. Well, he couldn't disagree with that, not completely.

Everyone in their organisation killed too much, but not Kisame and him. They got the job done, but didn't extend beyond that. Itachi was kind at heart, which his partner loved and fed on. And Kisame was more tame than he gave himself credit for, not wanting to destroy humanity despite believing otherwise. And Itachi understood that.

It was a fine ghost of sanity that made the killer within them stop. Their intelligence made them question their roles as moral judges. They were no better than their victims. And killing your kin is futile. You become the evil in this world.

"Hidan", Uchiha spoke activating his Sharingan, "I think this is enough."

"Oh, dear", the Jashinist replied with a blank, wide-eyed expression, "Don't you think that ending their torture is better?" His rod was up and down through his heart in an instant. "Aaaah-ha … ha."

Kisame saw his erection twitch and spurt liquid as Hidan let his head hang behind him and shiver in his spot. He swallowed hard and Itachi closed his eyes for a split second trying to wrap his mind around how this seemed logical or even natural to a person. Deidara was unshaken.

"Itachi, Kisame", she finally said, "Whatever happens now, please make sure it doesn't go overboard."

With a kunai in her hand she jumped at Hidan. Itachi gasped at the sheer speed she had, he didn't remember her being so swift. She kneed him in the groin and he growled a beastly, unnatural moan as if enjoying it. She pinned him down, using his ecstatic state to her advantage and punched him square in the face waiting until his colour shifted. Now, he was regaining consciousness. She brought the knife up and cut his head throwing it at the side.

"You fucking bitch!" he protested with a scream. "What the fuck do you think you're doing!" Deidara reached her hands in the bags of clay next to her and cut his body open.

"Hidan, you better shut up and listen", she growled in a low, strange voice that shook all spectators. Her palms spat kneaded clay and slowly she began stuffing his body with it as she spoke.

"From this day on you will do well and stay away from me."

Her eyes were parted just enough for her to look like the most calculated killer in the world. It was unexpected. She placed balls of clay evenly between his torso and once she was finished she proceeded to sow him up.

"Because one word from you in my direction will earn you a blow to smithereens."

"You fucking cunt think a mere threat like that will silence me?! Man, fuck you, Deidara!"

She stood up and reached for his head packing him by the hair and showing him the massacre around.

"Do you know the difference between them and me?"

"Yeah, they dead while you are on my to-do list. Fucking-" She swirled him around and hit him against a pillar. "Argh!" Then she looked him in the eyes with a menacing gaze. There was a presence there, a confirmation of the power of time and Hidan felt scared.

"The difference between them and me is that I am one your God failed to kill."

She inclined her head forward and hissed in an even tone. "I am the timer, I decide when it's game over for you now." She tossed his head next to his body. "Fear me, Hidan! Because I have sealed your fate. With something more powerful than any love."

She stepped slowly towards him and looked down, blue eyes hooded darkly. "Fear!"

With that she turned towards the other two and they took deep breaths in.

"I suggest we send Pain over here to assess the situation, hm."

"That would be smart, wouldn't it", Kisame commented looking at his partner.

"Definitelty", Itachi answered both of them.

With that the trio left. They left. Left him behind.

For a few moments Hidan stared at the ceiling above him with a blank mind. Then, finally, he smirked. He had never had a timer. So, better enjoy life to the fullest. You could say that was the day that he became a full-fledged psychopath, you could. But the truth is he had been one all along.

* * *

Hello everyone! I hope you didn't hope for this to have a happy-ending. Because it won't. There will be one more chapter after this one, an epilogue of sorts.

Hidan should not be idolised. And if you find writing a hot, almost intimate smut before writing this disturbing chapter sick, I am happy, that means you are normal. My intention with this whole story was to make you realise how disturbed this character is. I felt the need to somehow make you physically uncomfortable while reading this because you need to understand that people like him do not love, do not get intimate, do not empathise. The sickest part of it all is that Hidan understands the difference between good and evil, but chooses to ignore it. I am sorry for making you uncomfortable, but it's my way of underlining the gravity of the story.

Thank you for reading, thank you for your time!

Much love,

GRaff.


	33. Epilogue

"Hidan, you have defied all paths of logical explanation."

Four eyes leaned down and summoned his snakes to fetch the buried limbs.

"To even think you were born this way." Chuckles. "I guess experiments can have rather unexpected results."

White scales pushed muddy rocks away, swindling darkness and revealing light once more. It felt – well, not as warm as you'd expect.

"Jashin", a sore mouth mumbled, "Jashin …"

"Yeah, no." Familiarity? "It's just me, Hidan."

Slowly, a few parts of his body surfaced between poisoned teeth that cause a severe paralysis on the already numb body.

"How long-"

"Long enough", Kabuto interrupted with a snicker, "You are beaten up quite badly."

Hidan blinked a few times. Around the hole the Nara boy had put him in, there was a carnage of deer, dismembered and bloody, a feast for the snakes.

"Deidara, she" –his mouth was clammy– "I had clay inside of me, it melted into my organs."

"I see", Kabuto whispered, "Well, then I guess I'll have to revive you."

He stood up and left Hidan's view to prepare for his reanimating technique.

"Why are you digging me up?"

"To put you back in use", came a monotonous answer.

"Did the Akatsuki-"

"No, I need you for my own reasons." Silence. Then after a while: "Most of them are already dead."

Hidan let that sink in. "I see." It didn't matter.

"You'll do me a favour and fight whenever I summon you. For that I will keep you alive."

Hidan felt his eyes close and when he opened them he could see his old head on the ground, muddy and swollen. A foot and his arms were next to Kabuto. He couldn't pay much attention to him because there was something terribly unsettling about his new body.

"I can't feel pain."

"You can't feel anything anyway."

Hidan tsked loudly. "Fine", he protested, "No deal."

"I can wipe your mind out, if you want", the snake boy offered.

He contemplated it in silence. Then sighed.

"There's not much else we can do, is there?"

A superficial charm, the grandiose sense of self-worth, the pathological lying, the manipulation; the lack of remorse and guilt, the emotional shallowness, the lack of empathy, failing to accept responsibility for his own actions; the constant need for stimulation, the lack of realistic, long-term goals, the impulsivity, the irresponsibility; the poor behavioural controls, his early behavioural problems, the juvenile delinquency; the promiscuous sexual behaviour. Those were all traits that made Hidan who he was. And Kabuto had to think for a while before he agreed to the plan he proposed. He actually enjoyed the Jashinist just the way he was.

"Do you want to meet Deidara before you make up your mind?"

Hidan looked up at him.

"Ch, blondie?" he mused, "She's still alive?"

Kabuto waited a few seconds. "No, but I have her just like I have you."

"De – I – Da – Ra", Hidan sang, "I think she'll be furious to see me." At least he could get bullied and bully back. At least once. Just once.

"Oh, I'm counting on it."

Hidan stood up and fetched his scythe that rested on the ground next to Kabuto. The man was chuckling maniacally and the Jashinist smirked.

"This is exciting."

A few hand seals brought a coffin up and Hidan turned in its direction. The lid tumbled to the floor and from within golden locks and furious blues emerged.

"You", she immediately accused.

"Hello, fuck buddy!"

* * *

Hello everyone! With this, the story comes to an end. I hope it proved worthy of your time. It was definitely not easy to write, damn hard to define psychological disorders But I learned a lot and for that I say it was not a waste to spend time on it. I don't know if the final product was particularly entertaining, I might add a solid climactic point in the future. But for that I'd need guidance, so pretty please tell me where you found this story to be lacking. I welcome any critcism, I truly don't mind it, in fact it is very helpful.

Thank you for bearing with me, if you managed to get this far. Thank you for reading this uncomfortable story. Thank you for your time!

Much love,

GRaff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


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